It still felt like a dream, but here she was, waiting, waiting for him to arrive. She didn’t know what she was going to do when she saw him, it was all different now. It’d been fine, 24 hours ago everything had been fine, normal. Well if you want to say that Yoongi was her friend, as he had been for the last three years and her pining away for him the way she had for almost all of those three years was normal.

 She’d met him through Hoseok, her friend she’d known since middle school when he’d come to America to study for a few months before going back home to South Korea. They’d kept in touch while he’d become this massive celebrity, rapping and dancing. She remembered watching him dancing with some mutual friends in school, she’d had no idea then that back home he’d been something of a legend on the streets of Gwangju where he grew up.

Still, when he’d told her he’d been chosen to be in a hip-hop Korean group, she’d been thrilled. He’d told her about the hard times, times when he’d been fully prepared to quit, but only for his fellow members who had implored him to stay, and the rest was history. He decided to finally introduce her to s and that was when she’d met Min Yoongi, a rapper like Hoseok and Namjoon, but much more laid back and quiet and private. He’d found his way into her heart almost instantly as she found herself gravitating towards the young man, almost blindly.

His voice was deep and melodic and sometimes she’d chance a question to him she already knew the answer to just to hear his voice, to have him speak to her. She didn’t dare push him too far, knowing well that if he didn’t like you, if you invaded his personal space that he coveted as much as his music, you’d feel the icy brush of his dismissal of you, she’d seen it happen several times and vowed never to be on the receiving end of it.

Her appreciation of him grew deeper, just as her feelings did and this allowed her to get closer to him, carefully. She took her time, gaining his trust, helping him when she could and in return, he gifted her with his attention and infinite wisdom on life. He was insanely intelligent and street smart and she learned a lot from him, which made her fall for him even harder. He was not an overly affection man, which was hard for her as she was as affectionate as they came, often finding solace in the arms of Jimin, who like her, loved hugs and touches. It was hard, being around Yoongi and not be able to touch him to hug him like she wanted, was hard knowing he was not comfortable with such displays. She’d seen him, with the members sometimes hug during emotional, celebratory moments, but mostly it was Jimin because Jimin hugged everyone, but that was pretty much the extent.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, through it all, she also had to suffer through his girlfriends. There hadn’t been many as he was picky, very picky about the women he dated and seeing his choices were intimidating. Most of the time they were fellow singers, beautiful women who seemed to have it together and sometimes she’d see him be affectionate with them and it always broke her heart. The hand holding, the occasional cuddling and hugs, she would be so overcome with jealousy, that most of the time she’d have to leave the room or look away.  The relationships never lasted long though, he seemed to have increasingly bad luck with women. Some relationships outgrew themselves, some of the women couldn’t take his secretiveness and his sharp tongue. He was sarcasm personified and while he wasn’t a yeller, a fight with him was often debilitating. He could cut you apart with a few words, she’d been on the receiving end a few times and had been reduced to tears.

While she’d been on the receiving end on occasion, one advantage she’d had over his exes when he’d done the same to them, was he’d apologize to her, always apologized. Even if he didn’t see her cry and she’d made sure of it, he always seemed to know and be it a call or text or the rare in person visit, he always apologized and somehow, it made it better, made it ok. She wasn’t sure why she was different, why he only apologized to her, her and s.

Throughout it all, he’d become her best friend, even closer than Hoseok. For all this flaws and faults, he was a good and kind man, despite how most people saw him and the impression he gave off. He would do anything for anyone if he cared about them and she’d been on the receiving end of that many times. She could tell him anything without judgement. He listened to her rant and rave, cry and sob, her feelings hurt as her world crumbled when her parents divorced after so many years. He’d been there, maybe not physically as his success grew, seeing him got harder, but he was always there. Video chats, phone calls, texts, Yoongi was steadfast and loyal.

So, tonight when he called her, telling her about how the woman he’d been eyeing for the last three weeks was going to be at the same music show with them in a few days and how he planned to finally make his move and ask her out, did panic set in. He’d been single for almost a year and in that time, she’d been trying to work up the nerve to tell him, finally let him know how she felt. The thought of messing up their friendship though, held her back. When Yoongi had mention there was a woman he was interested in, she didn’t give it much thought, knowing he liked to take his time and had to really feel someone out and decide if he liked them, she figured it wouldn’t go anywhere, until it did.

The conversation was a blur, she could barely remember it, but she knew she blurted out something and that something was her telling him he couldn’t date her because she’d been waiting, waiting and waiting for her moment and she wanted him for herself finally.

Groaning, she rubbed at her head as it all came rushing back.

Twenty Minutes Prior

“So, I’ve decided to tell Ahnjong that I like her,” came his low soft voice.

She was silent as the pounding of her heart increased.

“Are you there?”

“H-huh? Oh…oh yeah, I’m here.”

“Ok, so yeah, I’m gonna tell her. She’s pretty cool, I like her a lot. She’s gonna be at MusicBank in a few days with us with her group, so I’m gonna ask her for her num…”

“NO!” She blurted out.

There was silence for a moment.

“Ani? Wae?” Yoongi asked quietly.

“I-I just, I thought you said you were gonna wait a little longer before you said anything, make sure she’s ya know, how you thought she was.”

The reasoning sounded lame even to her own ears.

“Ne and it’s been almost a month, I think that’s long enough. She’s my type and all and I’d like to spend more time with her. If I get her number, I can talk and text with her and all that, see about finding some time to go on a date or something.”

He was slipping away from her again.

“You can’t Yoongi, please don’t,” she pleaded suddenly.

“Yah, what’s going on with you? Do you know something about her that I don’t?”

“N-no, I’ve never met her.”

“Well then why do you say I can’t? What’s…”

“You just can’t ok? I’ve waited so long and I want a chance to just…can’t you look at me this time? Can’t I finally be an option for you?” She blurted out and then abruptly stopped, her eyes widening, her hand flying to to shut herself up, but the damage had already been done.

There was silence on his end for a long time.

“Y-Yoongi? Just forget what I said ok? I didn’t…”

“I’m coming over.”

Her eyes widened when she heard the dial tone. Wait…what?

And now here she was, waiting for him. That had been twenty minutes ago which meant he should be there any time now. She thought of leaving, but she couldn’t do that, it was a thirty-minute drive from his dorms to her apartment, she’d feel awful if she made him waste gas like…

Her doorbell rang and she gasped, coming to a dead stop in the center of her living room.

Yoongi was there.

How was she going to do this? The trembling of her body that had started the minute he’d hung up, increased even more. Her ears were ringing, her hands were ice cold and her legs felt painfully weak.

The doorbell rang again and she was unable to move as fear poured over her. This could end their friendship, end it forever, she couldn’t have that, she loved him, needed him too much to let him go. She’d have to do whatever it took to keep him, even if it meant bold faced lying to him.

The doorbell rang once more and she forced her legs to move to the door. She hesitated a moment, swallowing hard. Her hand reached out, shaking almost violently as she unlocked the door and slowly opened it to find a suspicious looking Yoongi staring at her.

“Yah, what took you so long to open the door?”

She shook her head, “I uhh…sorry.”

He raised an eyebrow, watching her closely.

She took a step back, “Come in,” she said, quickly.

He said nothing else, but made his way inside and she slowly shut the door, bracing herself for the onslaught. She turned to find Yoongi in the center of the room, watching her.

“How about a drink?” She said suddenly, breezing past him to the kitchen, she knew she could sure use one right about now.

“Nothing alcoholic for me, I have to drive back home,” he said quietly.

Nodding, she opened her fridge and grabbed a bottle of Chilsung Cider, she only had ones with his face on it, had spent over 10 minutes and had made various trips to different stores to find only bottles with his face on them, now she wished she hadn’t. She grabbed a bottle of water for herself and made her way out to find Yoongi sitting on the couch, waiting patiently for her to come out.

She stopped when she saw him sitting there, he turned his head to look at her and she hurried over, handing him the cider. He took the bottle and saw his face on it before looking over at her, raising an eyebrow.

“It was the first one I grabbed,” she muttered, looking away.

She could feel his eyes on her as he opened the bottle and took long drink before recapping it and setting it down. Grabbing the remote, she turned the TV on and flipped through the channels, maybe if she played dumb, he wouldn’t mention the call.

“So, you plan on avoiding what happened on the phone earlier?” Came his low voice.

Her head whirled around to find him staring at the TV disinterestedly.

“I don’t know what you’re…”

Yoongi reached out, taking the remote from her hand and turning the TV off suddenly, throwing the room into silence.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, it’s why I’m here,” he said.

Reaching out, she grabbed the bottle of water, opening it and downing the rest in one gulp before standing abruptly.

“I’m gonna go get another bottle,” she said, hurrying back into the kitchen and over to the fridge once again.

She hadn’t thought any of this through, she had no game plan, but she hadn’t been planning to tell him in that way over the phone and she most certainly hadn’t expected him to come over either. Opening the fridge again, she grabbed another bottle of water and made her way back out, stopping when she saw Yoongi standing there, waiting for her, his arms crossed.

“Are you ready now?” He asked coolly.

She blinked, and then started to open the bottle when he moved quick, taking the bottle out of her hand and setting on the table, pulling her to the center of the room.

“You’re gonna be peeing all night if you keep that up,” he stated matter of factly.

“I’m really thirsty is all.”

“Mmm,” he groaned.

Swallowing hard, she turned so her back was facing him, “So why’d you come over? We could’ve finished the conversation on the phone.”

“Yeah we could’ve, but I wanted to see your face when we talked about this. You apparently don’t want that since you’ve turned from me, which makes me think I was right to come by like this.”

“It’s really unnecessary for you to be here tonight Yoongi, seriously. We were having a perfectly fine conversation on the phone, there was no need for you to…”

“About what you said, about why I couldn’t ask Ahnjong for her number and all that, did you mean it?” He asked suddenly.

She shook her head, the words getting stuck in , “Well sure, you said you wanted to make sure that she was going to be…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

She stopped, wringing her hands together nervously.

“Why don’t you just be honest with me ok? I thought we were friends, we’ve told each other everything, what’s the difference now?”

Friends, the word tore through her, she was only a friend to him.

“If you have something to say to me, then say it. I’m here and I’m listening, just tell me,” Yoongi said quietly.

She never even noticed his voice getting closer as she was so wrapped up in her thoughts. This was her chance, she could just say it, but then what? What if he turned her down? What if he said no? She couldn’t hold a candle to those women, she was just her, average, plain. Maybe she could just run away, hide in her bedroom and pretend this never happened, he’d eventually forget about it and then everything would go back to the way it was before.

Making her mind up, she whirled around, only to run into something soft and solid at the same time.

“You aren’t thinking of…running away, are you?” Yoongi said quietly.

She said nothing, not trusting herself to speak. She went to pull away, when hands came up, holding her still before he lowered his hands to take hers.

“Aish, you’re shaking, and your hands are like ice, why won’t you talk to me? Why are you so scared?” He whispered, as he rubbed her hands in between his, trying to warm them up.

The trembling increased, her chin quivering as her body ached for release. She felt fingers under her chin, lift her head up and her eyes met with his warm brown, worried ones.

“Take a deep breath…”

She inhaled shakily and then exhaled.

“Again,” he said softly, but firmly.

She did it again, the trembling of her body letting up only just a bit and Yoongi frowned.

“Tell me.”

He was looking at her so earnestly and she stared into his eyes and felt the words pour from her suddenly.

“I-I just…you’re going to tell her and I…I’ve been waiting for you forever it feels like and…and…I just want a moment with you. I want to be the one that you text and I want to be the one that you call and…” she could barely see him now, her eyes had filled with tears to the point that they spilled over and down her cheeks, she couldn’t stop, she wasn’t making sense, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t see his expression, but she felt his body go absolutely still and while she should be worried that he would push her away and tell her to stop, she couldn’t now.

“I want to be the one on the receiving end of your love. I want to be the one you’re thinking of all the time, I want to be the one you rush to come home to, the one who inspires your songs, your lyrics,” she whispered shakily, lowering her head and pressing her face into his chest as she squeezed her eyes shut, her arms coming up to wrap around him loosely, part of her still conscious of his seeming aversion to being touched most of the time.

“All this time, all these years and it’s like…you never saw me. I don’t know if I can stand by and watch you with another woman again, I don’t know if my heart can take it anymore when I’ve been longing for you for so long. I’ve been waiting, hoping for you to see me, can’t you…just this once…see me? Can it finally be m-my turn Yoongi? Can’t you love me now? Please?” She whimpered, gentle sobs raking through her body.

He didn’t move for a few seconds, then his arms came up, not to push her away as she feared, but to pull her close, almost painfully close as his hold tightened. She was aware of him leaning in, his lips close to her ear.

“I already do,” he whispered.

She tightened her hold on him, wrapping her arms around him fully, pressing even closer to him.

“I do love you jagi, always have. I thought that I was in this love alone, I didn’t know that…I didn’t think that you’d want to take that kind of chance on me. I’m not an easy man, I travel a lot, I can’t be with you as much as I want. I’m not overly affectionate…you saw my other relationships fail and I didn’t want to put you through that I…” he stopped as she cried harder, shaking his head.

Yoongi carefully pulled away, bringing his hands up to cup her face, smiling as he brushed the tears from her eyes. “I’m yours, if you want me, I’m yours jagi.”

Her ears were ringing, it felt like a dream, this was her chance, she nodded, reaching up to grab at his shoulders and then she felt his lips on hers and it was as if all time stopped. He pulled her back into his arms, hugging her close as the kiss quickly turned wild, passionate. Her head spun as he ran his hands over her back, his hands up in her shirt.

Suddenly he pulled away, panting hard, his eyes tightly shut.

“S-sorry, been holding that in for a while,” he said breathlessly, his voice even lower than usual.

The smile that fell over her lips was quick and honest, “Me too.”

Slowly Yoongi opened his eyes, looking at her a moment before chuckling.

“You gonna be my girl then?” He asked softly.

She let out a breath, happiness coursing through her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Yoongi looked at her, slightly stunned before shaking his head in amusement, leaning in to kiss her once more.

________

A/N: I know that Chilsung Cider doesn't put pics of the singers on the bottle, but I took liberties for this story, hee hee!