“Fetch me the right beige color this time, or I swear to God that’s the last thing you will ever pick today.” 

The tone of voice when whispered in the organizer's ear drained the color from his face when he was sent with a tail between his legs. Women in identical bridesmaid dresses hurriedly walked around preparing for the event, which will be held at a resort far away from the city that SM belongs to. As far away from the city as it is, it offers a blind side from the public. The Whisperer herself is Youn Yuh -jung (or as the staff affectionately refers to her as Miss Youn, either that or Demoness of Perfection, pick your battle), the Main House Assistant of Lee's residence for generations. It can be argued that her job is so much more than just making sure the marble floor was polished or the mansion is always in a cheerful mood. Her cane thumped on the velvet floor as she made her way to the private great room in the suit, closing the door immediately behind her so that the ruckus outside was muffled to a white noise.

Right in the middle of the room a maiden in white is sitting with a veil covering her face. The solemnity is in the air, the make-up artists and stylists did their tasks with great attention to detail.

“Are you sure you want to do this, agasshi?” 

The familiar ghost of a smile appears in the bride’s expression, an expression that has driven women and men insane and heightened publicity for the longest time. It didn’t really abate the doubt. If someone asks her, she will say that the heiress will pull something else again. Even when the stacks are not against her: the heiress of SM Corp. is going to be married to the love of her life and welcoming the dawn of their new life together.  

“Despite the fact that my father broke the news to me like, two days before the wedding?” 

Yuhjung takes a breath and frowns , as if she cannot hide her annoyance at this hastened decision too. The patriarch didn’t budge even after Yuhjung grilled him twice for this. Marriage still has to happen. What fazed Yuhjung is the heiress’s sudden subservient attitude to this.  

“Don’t worry, Miss Youn.” 

-- 

The wedding is organized in a chapel with a modest, yet classy interior. The crowd sitting behind the pews is mostly affluent or influential people affiliated with SM or perhaps just looking for some clout. The groom, a steady young man, stretched his collar several times and looked at the entrance door out of sheer nervousness.  

The master of Ceremony gives a command for the crowd to stand up, welcoming the bride’s entrance as the end of her gown flows through the red carpet. Accompanied by Yuhjung, the heiress of SM walks with effortless grace, a bouquet grasped in her gloved hands. The melodious piano accompanied the session and added to the sacredness of the whole situation. 

After the bride takes her place, the groom unveils her.  

The wide, glassy eyes and reddened lips, like she was carved by Aphrodite herself. A muffled gasp can be heard from the crowd. The groom is not doing any better as well, choked in the process. After a sermon, the Reverend raised his palm lightly to the crowd. 

“Dear honored guests, friends and family, today we are gathered here to witness and celebrate the union of two souls. This is a marriage celebration of two people who are special to you.” 

The groom holds the need to wipe the sweat around his temple; he unashamedly will admit to the world that yes, this is his woman whom he will share lives together, in sickness and in health! On the other hand, the bride blinks several times, her fingers tapping the handle of her bouquet. 

“Do you, Suho Kim Junmyeon,” The reverend’s voice boomed throughout the chapel. “Take Irene Bae Joohyun as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for—” 

“Yes, yes, I do.” The dapper man nodded vehemently, shaking in excitement. He’s torn between wanting to hold the bride’s hand in him, can it be now? Or later, after her vow? The Reverend cringed, certainly expressing his distaste of being interrupted, nevertheless he continued. “Do you, Irene Bae Joohyun, take Suho Kim Junmyeon as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do you two apart?” 

The bride’s smile was small. She takes one look at the groom. For a second Suho had this sunken feeling in his stomach that everything’s about to shut down, but soon she diminished it with, “I do.” 

“Then I hereby pronounce you as husband and wife.” The courteous claps floating in the chapel. “And if anyone were to object to this union, speak now or forever to hold your peace. Not that I expect that kind of shenanigans to happen here…” The last one is spoken in a lowered grumble. Of course, who dares to get in the way of Lee Soo Man, the SM giant himself, the one and the only? It was a marriage of two God’s children that he can never fathom with his commoner sense! 

As it happens, a rumble is heard as he answers his question. The guests turn their heads towards each other in confusion, but it is not long before the door slams to pieces with a crash of a motorcycle.

-- 

The day before. 

“Dramatic entrance?” 

Byulyi has never heard such a silly thing in her life.  

“You never did it?!” Irene gasped at her. What’s surprising is that it doesn’t look like a mockery. This woman treats her like she’s utterly clueless! “It’s when the heroine is about to get wedded to someone else and BAM!” Byulyi jumped before this crazy woman, shocked. “You have to make sure to scream ‘I object!’ when you crash the door!” 

“I will not!” sputtered the other woman. “It’s pointless!” Not to mention embarrassing. But the heiress didn’t care. “Hey! It’s my wish as well!” 

-- 

Before the guests can recover from their shock, the rider steps off the bike. Armored in a leather jacket and a black-tinted helmet that successfully hid her face, she reached into her pocket and awkwardly pulled out an... Air Horn. Without any warning, it sounded, creating a TOOOOOOT that blew the audience's minds.

 Just treat this as the ‘I object’ and she wouldn’t take any complaints! 

The rider ran to the altar, right towards the main stars of the room, and to the horrified groom, the bride flashed a smile that is now a little brighter. 

“I have to go, Jun.” 

The rider grasped the bride’s palm in hers and together they went to the bike. She grew impatient at Irene’s pace due to the gown, and proceeded to sweep her off her feet and sat her at the end of the bike. Security is on their way here and the rider couldn’t afford to take any chances. “Hey! Hey!” A whisper can be heard from behind her. “Where’s the ‘I object’?” The rider groaned at the whine and started the engine. “Just shut up and hang on tight.” 

As the bike left the scene, one of the guests pulled out a recording phone and proceeded to make phone calls. 

-- 

After swerving and cutting through the lanes, the Harley Davidson makes a steady rush on the highway. Focusing on the road, the rider realized from the side mirror that Irene had stretched both her arms. “That’s dangerous!” 

“Isn’t this amazing, Byul?!” Irene laughed. “I never ride a bike before! And to think that I have rid a lot of horses, hm. Have you ever rode a horse before?” Byulyi shook her head. “Lower your arms.” 

Irene did exactly as she said and Byulyi extended her hand to the back, hooking her arms to her waist, making sure it was locked tightly. “If you want to smash your brain on the road, be my guest. Just hold on!” 

Irene tilts her head before snuggle onto Byul’s back as she gains speed. 

-- 

The bike was parked near the edge of a cliff, an assigned point as Irene’s request. Irene stepped down and took the sight before her as Byulyi did the same. “I never see this view before.” 

Byulyi didn’t respond. 

“I mean, by myself.” Irene turns to her, the hair’s flowing as she does so. “Without any guards or my fiancee, there’s always someone.” To Byulyi’s silence, Irene chuckled. “You really should take that helmet off.” The rider grumbled. 

“The agreement said to take it off later.” 

“But it looks so stuffy. Can you even breathe inside that thing?” Irene’s stepping forward about to take it off but Byulyi waves her hand off, telling her just to leave her be. “It’s strange though.” Irene said. “There’s no one tailing us. Not a single soul.” 

“Is that what you really think?” deadpanned Byulyi. Irene heaved a small sigh and rubbed her arms. Byulyi took off her jacket and draped it on the heiress, covering her bare shoulders as she muttered her thanks. 

“More like my wishful thinking.” 

“Now what do we do?” 

“Like we planned before…” Irene smiled. “We wait.” 

-- 

“You’re a freaking… you.” Byulyi pulls her wrist, trying to get out of the rope that seems to get ridiculously tightened and she makes a conscious decision to give up. “You can just go.” That gets a short laugh from the heiress.  

“I can’t believe you're seriously saying that. I shouldn’t explain this bit by bit to you of all people.” 

Truthfully, Byulyi can deduct more or less. The owner of one of the biggest hotels and lodges in South Korea, who happens to be the heiress of SM Corp., is a title that automatically puts her as the most eligible Bachelorette in the country. “People watching my every movement and wait for what I will do next.” Irene still does the explaining after all. Perhaps the blank look on the other woman getting her to become impatient. “The affairs of the hotel and its sustainability, getting my father to finally act like a real leader of a company, I have a lot on my plate.” 

She failed to mention the number of suitors chasing her left and right, yet Byulyi didn’t care enough to elaborate on that. “I’m going to get married tomorrow.” 

“Congratulations.” Byulyi’s tone was pure sarcasm. Irene stifles another laugh.  

“Calm down, Debbie Downer. I just need you to do one thing for me.” 

-- 
 

Just as predicted by them both, the place was swarmed by guards in no time. What’s a little unexpected is the cameras that follow through, littering the scene with blinding flashes. The guards become disorganized between fending off the paparazzi and focusing on their main duty. Another noise can be heard from above, with Byulyi squinting her eyes. It’s a freaking chopper. What the hell? 

“I have never been allowed a space for myself.” Irene explained. “And my father said that can be changed if I were to get married. Which is, tomorrow.” 

“Problems solved.” 

“If it wasn’t arranged by him then yes.” Irene rolled her eyes at Byulyi’s lack of sympathy here but It’s not really her fault in any way after all. “I was about to find my own groom but it was chosen by him. The groom will be under him and the cycle will never end. That’s why I have a better idea!” 

One of the paparazzi instructs the cameraman for a better angle during the livestreaming. 
 

[Breaking News] Irene, the heiress of generation, the Golden Daughter of SM, has her wedding smashed and kidnapped! Or is this a secret lover whom we have no idea? The heiress was known for her squeaky clean reputation, but perhaps it’s going to change today! Who is this wedding smasher, and what’s his agenda?! 

ascore the heiress?! More like the breaker of hearts! 

bxdsm she was brainwashed! Call the police! 

chrimighty but that wedding dress though… and is that his jacket on her? I smell something more than a fling here! 

dendos Save Our Goddess TT.TT She looks scared! 

eagleeues I object! We all object! 

ascore Bold of you to assume it was a he
 

“The websites crashed! It’s the first time this is happening!” The paparazzi get a call from his superior. “Keep it going! Hound the info if you must.” A man in a suit appeared from the chopper and was speaking through a loudspeaker. Byulyi cringed as the man shouted his demands through the blasted thing. Drones fly around, and she kind of wishes that it would just crash itself into the chopper and burn. Yeah, that’s why it’s called a wish. “Byul-ah.” Irene looked at her, giving a signal. Byulyi nodded and face forward, took off her helmet and threw it away, revealing longer hair that’s already dyed purple the night before. 

More shocking news! Our wedding smasher is a woman! I must say this really changed our perception of the heiress! She has a fiancee right? Did I miss the memo somehow? Is our heiress making a public declaration of her love epiphany by outing herself as a lesbian?! But what about Suho, Lee Soo Man’s favorite boy? 

feynfeyn It’s a girl! What a twist! The stature does look like one but— 

gidkale I can’t take it anymore! I’m going to die heartbroken goodbye everyone 

hirenebae  this reporter stupid she can be a bi our goddess dckdcmdkcmdkmkd 

iknowright  I told you It’s a woman a hundred times and you still won’t believe me 

juzebelthelastqueen I always knew she radiates that Sapphic energy! 

kayletsgo  Our goddess can be with whoever she wants! Especially if that someone is a hottie! 

lezgay the kidnappers kinda hot! Can someone find her Gram? 

“Donghyun-oppa!” Irene shouted at the nearest bodyguard, who is now looking at them with slackened jaw. “Tell father that I only want to marry this woman, and Suho should just scram and pick a bride from his fangirls!” 

The bulky man gets a notice from another guard beside him and replies with a sad tone. “Miss Bae, Sajangnim said that you should come back and stop with all the ruckus. Your fiancee is still waiting.” 

--

“The trick is to flip his expectations!” Irene explained giddily. “If the whole world knows I didn’t want to marry and I like girls everything will be solved.” 

Byulyi can’t believe this woman. 

“What makes you think…” Byulyi spelled out her question, making sure the sarcasm is loud and clear. “That he will trust you?” 

“Easy!” She giggled. “You just have to marry me!” 

-- 

Byulyi cast a look at Irene once she got the answer. Not like she’s worried or anything! The heiress, for once, didn’t say anything else, but her eyes were a look that Byulyi recognized at once. A faraway look that she was so familiar with in the past. But that changed as soon as Irene looked straight at her. A pointed, firm look that straps Byulyi in her place. 

It was soon replaced with a wink. 

The guards shouted as the heiress ran towards the end of the cliff and took a jump. 

-- 

“Just… just find someone else. I will do everything you want me to do but that.” It is risky for Byulyi to put herself in the spotlight. Irene crossed her arms and to Byulyi’s agony, she gave another no. 

“There’s many professionals in the world at the back of your hand.” Byulyi speaks through gritted teeth. “You don’t need someone who is afraid of a single button.” 

“But that’s your only Kryptonite.” Irene hummed. She scrutinizes the button in the box. “For reasons I don’t know, but… you are the only one who will never waver to everything else in this world, even my father.” 

She stepped forward and tug Byulyi on the chin, bringing her face to a closer proximity. 

“You are invincible, Moon Byulyi.” 

Bracing for the incoming impact, Irene opens one of her eyes that’s scrunched shut before looking downward, finding gloved hands circling around her waist in a tight hold, preventing her from jumping. It’s like a collective sigh of relief can be heard around them all at once. The heiress looks at Byulyi who is now panting heavily, giving a look crisscrossing beyond shocked and pissed.  

“Did you just expect me to just catch you on time?” Byulyi snarls, ready for a long reprimand. “Are the golds finally messing inside your head?” Irene let out a small chuckle, tapping Byulyi’s hand twice to let her go. “We just met once, there’s no such expectations.” Irene smiled. “The plan’s a bust, but a deal is a deal. I will give you the button, Byulyi.” 

It should be a relief, but nothing’s changed: the heiress will have to get back to resume her marriage, and her wish haven’t been granted. Byulyi was pissed at herself for having conflicting thoughts. Meanwhile, Irene looks at her with a patient smile, wondering what’s on her mind, judging from Byulyi’s myriad of expressions that come all at once and she caught nothing. It’s a conclusion that’s better on her side anyway. Why would anyone reject this? Meanwhile, Byulyi is fighting with herself.

She’s going to regret this. She’s going to regret this. She is CERTAINLY going to regret this! 
 

“Your wish hasn’t been granted.” 

For the first time since they meet a look of shock crossing Irene’s face. 

“You are still here in front of me. You haven’t disappear.” Byulyi internally blames herself for dwindling into the past. “Your wish is to disappear right?” 

The heiress opened  but no words came out. Instead, she answered with a single nod. 

“Then follow my lead.” 

Irene muffled a shriek as Byulyi gathered her lithe body with one arm, caressing her cheek with gloved hands with a smoldering look that got her (slightly) crazy, and the next moment she felt lips met hers.  

--

The whole field now thundered with shouts and pure anger, and the flashing of the cameras getting brighter, falling at the couple. Irene was surprised when she felt a tongue slip into , but she complied and closed her eyes once more, getting into the flow of the game. She unconsciously moved an arm onto Byulyi’s shoulder, clutching the shirt as the kiss went ravenous. 

And It’s a KISS, ladies and gentlemen! I am going to faint at this shocking level of immodesty! Your lovely reporter, reporting from somewhere in Korea! 

Segue as of now. Byulyi has tied herself to this crazy lady, and once the stone falls, it will never stop until it reaches the end of the slope. Come what may, perhaps? 

-- 

“Sajangnim.” 

The man in the suit excused himself to the room and bowed curtly. 

“Miss Irene has eloped with a woman.” 

A scoff can be heard from the chair that swiveled back at him. 

“Her name is Byul. Other than that, we haven’t find anything else about her. We just need more time.” 

The patriarch thundered. 

“Bring her to me immediately!” 

Can I tell you that I had so so much fun writing this TEHEEHEEHEE Viva LA Marriage of Convenience and Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace! Viva LA Clichéd Tropes!