[author's note] I haven't edited this fully so please forgive me for any mistakes that you might see along the way! I really enjoyed writing this one-shot and hope you guys will enjoy this story too! Please do comment and let me know what you thought of the story! xoxo

final

I’VE NEVER EXPECTED TO MEET MY EX-BOYFRIEND again after we broke up. Much less seeing him again attending the same university as I. We lost touch after we broke up. He was also a year older than me. He mentioned his options to me but I never really got which one he decided to attend. So, you could imagine my surprise when my older brother and best friend invited me to a frat party where the Vice-President of the fraternity happened to be him.

Jung Jaehyun.

He looked as good as I remember. Even better, if that was even possible. Our eyes briefly met while I was waiting in line to get a drink and he had the audacity to smirk at me. I was fairly certain that my jaw dropped. I then got out of the line, not even caring about the fact that I haven’t gotten a drink yet.

My best friend Johnny, who was – I forgot – the fraternity’s President, threw his arms in the air with a huge grin when he saw me on the way out. He immediately panicked when he saw the confusion in my eyes.

“I can explain,” he quickly said as he grabbed onto my shoulders.

I scoffed in disbelief. “You can explain? What the hell were you thinking, Johnny?!”

“I thought you didn’t hate him?” Johnny then raised his arms. “In my defense, your brother also invited you without telling you anything.”

“I don’t… I never hated Jaehyun,” I replied with a huff until I realized what he was doing. I almost growled and pointed an angry finger at him. “Hey, don’t you dare bring Sicheng into this.” I then looked around frantically. “And speaking of Sicheng, where is he?”

Johnny swivelled me around and then pushed me towards the drinks line, where I originally was. “How about you get a drink while we wait for him, huh?”

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m too sober for this bull.”

And with that said, I immediately chugged the red cup that Johnny handed to me. I coughed at how strong and disgusting the drink was – I thought it was just beer or something light.

“What did you put in this?” I asked him, my voice cracking at how potent it was. “60% vodka, 40% cranberry juice?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Eh, more like 80% vodka and 20% juice.”

My mouth gaped at the amount of alcohol he put in the drink that I just drank. He knew that I was a lightweight. I looked at him with an accusatory stare.

“What?” he said innocently. “I thought you’d need the alcohol.”

“Yeah, just enough for me to push through the night,” I replied and lightly punched his shoulder, though I didn’t refuse the second cup he just gave me. “Not so much that I get alcohol poisoning and end up at the hospital.”

“You know I would never let that happen to you,” he said as he raised his cup to me. “And I would never allow you to leave with a guy, either.”

I clinked my red cup against his. “And yet, you would put me in this awkward situation?”

But before he could have replied, my older brother appeared out of nowhere and threw himself at me. “Hey, you’re finally here!” He then pulled himself away when he realized that I wasn’t reciprocating his hug with the same level of enthusiasm. “Ooh, I know that look. You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

I sighed in resignation.

I haven’t seen Sicheng in a long time. Although he came back home for the summer holidays, I was travelling around the world alone. By the time my trip was over and I came back home, Sicheng was already gone because of his “frat duties” – his words, not mine. You would have thought that such a caring older brother would think about warning his little sister about how his fraternity’s Vice-President was her ex-boyfriend.

But, I missed him too much to even consider being mad at him.

“Of course not,” I said with a smile and hugged him again. “I’m mad at Johnny.”

“What is this nepotism?” my friend said with a wounded look and a hand to his chest – his right side, specifically.

“Your heart is on the other side, ,” I then told him as I moved his hand to the proper side. I then turned to Sicheng who was snickering. “Remind me how did his dumb become the president of the fraternity?”

“Beats me.” Sicheng shrugged and took a sip from his cup. “The real question is, how is he in pre-law?”

Johnny then waved his arms around dramatically. “Stop. Stop. Stop. That’s enough talking.” He then chugged down the content of his cup and raised it to the air as he shouted, “And more drinking!”

***

I WOKE UP WITH A POUDING HEADACHE.

Actually, the pounding headache woke me up.

My eyes winced as they adjusted to the surroundings with the sunlight slipping through the curtains. I was so used to the warmth around me that it took me a while to realize that I wasn’t back in the apartment that I shared with my older brother. I gasped at the arm that was around my body and hit my forehead with my palm, unable to believe that I was drunk to the point that I didn’t remember sleeping with a random guy.

I’m going to kill Johnny.

I got out of the bed discreetly, grateful that my clothes were still in the same room. While I dressed myself, I took the opportunity to sneak a peek at the guy with whom I hooked up last night. I didn’t pay much attention – it was just a small glance – but something about him made me stop in my tracks as I reached the door to leave.

I slowly turned around and was horrified to find out that my one night stand was my ­ex-boyfriend.

Scratch that. I was going to ing murder Johnny.

The walk of shame back to my apartment wasn’t as bad as I thought. And thankfully, Sicheng seemed to have stayed in his room at the fraternity instead of coming back home, so I didn’t have to face his questioning. Though, my phone kept buzzing since I left the fraternity mansion; probably Johnny who woke up to my angry text messages.

I glanced over at the electronic device that seemed to be blowing up and ignored it as I decided to take a quick shower before heading to my first class of the day. I cleaned myself up as much as I could with a lingering hangover and headed out for class. When I locked the door to my flat, Johnny was already waiting for me outside, a mango smoothie in one hand and a cream cheese bagel in the other.

“Got you breakfast,” he said as he raised the two items in the air. “Thought it could help with the hangover.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and snatched the bagel and the drink from his hands. “Too bad it doesn’t rectify my mistake from last night, no thanks to someone.”

Johnny snorted. “Are you sure you want to get into technicalities with me?”

“You said you weren’t going to let me leave the party with a guy!” I retorted back with bits of bagel flying off from my mouth. Johnny groaned in disgust as he handed me a napkin.

“You were still in the house!” he then said. “You were technically still in the house.”

I huffed. “Damn you pre-law student.”

“Told you, you didn’t want to get into technicalities with me.”

“Whatever. Is Sicheng still sleeping?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. “He didn’t come back home yesterday night.”

“And neither did you.”

“Should I remind you that we’re taking the same electives?” I then said with a tilt of my head, silently asking him whether he really wanted to test my patience at the moment. Johnny then proceeded to pretend to zip his mouth, ending our conversation about my one-night stand.

“Right, about that-”

“But, you know what? I’m so excited for our electives!” I interrupted him as we entered the building where the class was held, almost squealing in excitement – probably the most excited I felt in a while. “I heard that one of the classes is offering a trip to Greece.”

We entered a large auditorium where we decided to sit in the middle, right in front of the big white projecting screen. I then checked my watch to see that we still have about fifteen minutes left before class officially started.

I turned to Johnny who was furiously typing on his phone, “Hey, I’m going to buy some milk tea. Do you want anything?”

Distracted by whatever was on his phone, he let out a lame, “Uh…”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I bought a hot milk tea and two coffees because Sicheng was also taking the class. I had a feeling that not only was he going to be late, he was also going to be in dire need of caffeine. Johnny knew that my brother was also taking the same class, so I hoped that he remembered to keep him a spot in case I didn’t get back in time.

When I got back to the auditorium, I saw that Johnny was talking to someone whose back was facing me as I walked back – probably Sicheng.

“Well, good morning, sleepyhead,” I said as I placed the paper cup on the desk. “I didn’t see you this morning.”

But there was something about his build that was different from Sicheng. The male had broader shoulders and seemed taller too. And with a closer look, his hair colour wasn’t even the same as my brother’s. I only realized my small mistake when the male turned around.

“I should be the one telling you that, shouldn’t I?”

Jaehyun?!

I turned to Johnny incredulously and he had the gall to ignore me, suddenly finding some great interest in our Greek Art and Archaeology textbook.

“I didn’t even get to see you leave my room this morning,” he then added with a smirk. “Were you that much in a rush to get away from me?” He then lifted the cup of coffee up in the air and tilted it towards my direction, almost mockingly. “Thanks for the coffee but I prefer iced Americanos, you should know that.”

“That was not for you,” I replied but decided to not deal with this so early in the morning.

I quickly took my seat and pulled Johnny’s collar towards me while Jaehyun was busy greeting my older brother who finally arrived.

“Okay, care to explain to me about this?”

“I was about to!”

I scoffed with my eyes wide. “When?!”

“Earlier! But you interrupted me by telling me about that trip to Greece!”

“Johnny!” I said in an almost whiny voice.

“He’s my best friend-”

“I thought I was your best friend?”

“You’re both my best friends.”

“But-”

“Anyway, Jaehyun is also my best friend and also the Vice-President of the frat – us bros always take classes together whenever we can.”

My mouth fell open and I scoffed again. “Unbelievable.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“You better pray that I will, Suh,” I said, gritting my teeth, and then greeted Sicheng with the best smile I could muster at the moment. “Hey, morning.”

“Morning,” he said before dropping a kiss on the crown of my head and then patted it before taking the seat on my left. “Did Johnny piss you off again?”

“I don’t know, you ask him.”

“Ah, I’ll take that as a yes.”

For half of the class, I wasn’t even able to focus properly. In-between my furious note-taking and listening to the teacher droning about the three main Greek civilizations during the early Bronze Age, the other half of my focus was dedicated to a basketball player who was literally sitting a seat away from me.

And I hated myself for thinking about him when we’ve broken up and it’s been almost a whole year.

I hated the fact that he pretended we didn’t break up for a good reason.

But I would never hate him.

I could never.

“Alright, before I let you guys leave, I am sure you all have heard about the trip to Greece,” the professor said while murmured excitement rippled through the classroom. “It will be right after the finals period, so you don’t have to worry about your finals and the trip overlapping with each other. If you are interested, a minimum final grade of A- is required along with a letter of intent, and I have the forms here on my desk. Mind you, this trip is sponsored by the Classics department, so priority will be given to those who are part of the department. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me now or send me an email. That is all.”

Surprisingly enough, not that many people went for the application forms on the professor’s desk. They all passed by it without even sparing a glance at them.

“I’m surprised that not that many people are applying or even considering to apply,” I commented as we walked down the stairs, making sure that I was keeping my distance from Jaehyun. “Who wouldn’t want to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Greece?”

“You seem to forget that the Classics department have a different grading system than the other departments,” Jaehyun added. “It’s not going to be easy to get that A- final grade.”

I stopped in the middle of the stairs, causing Jaehyun to bump into Johnny and curse. I tried not to snicker at him and turned around to them.

“We do?”

“Yeah,” Johnny confirmed. “We need a 55 to pass in Classics when you only need a 50 in other departments.”

“Well, Jae, it’s not too late to drop the course, you know?” I said sweetly, my back turned to him, as we resumed our way to the professor’s desk. I grabbed four forms and handed them one by one before Jaehyun came to view. “But you wouldn’t be Jung Jaehyun if you were to drop the class, huh?”

He took the paper from my hands and smiled. “No, I wouldn’t.”

I rolled my eyes and followed the three boys out.

“We have Egyptian archaeology after this class, right?” I asked Sicheng and Johnny.

Both hummed in affirmation. By my side was Jaehyun. Judging from what Johnny had told me earlier, I assumed he was probably in that course as well.

“So, what made you come to this university?” Jaehyun then asked me, a little bit out of the blue. “Don’t tell me it’s because you want me back.”

I knew he was teasing me – that was what he always did. But his words hit me harder than usual. And I guess it must have shown on my face because Jaehyun’s teasing grin slowly disappeared.

“No…” I ended up saying. “I didn’t even know you wanted to come here – you never told me.”

“I- I did,” he said, slightly stuttering as if he couldn’t believe me. “I told you which university I wanted to attend. We were even looking at the pamphlets together and planning our-”

I shook my head with a sigh. I didn’t even understand why were we arguing about this, fighting as if we were still a couple when we weren’t anymore.

“You only told me which ones you applied but you never told me which one were you actually going to attend. You never really told me anything, to be honest.”

I paused and looked up at him, thinking about how he seemed taller than I remembered.

“I thought you were going to tell me regardless- regardless of what happened to us. I thought I was important enough to you that you would still want to share the good news with me.”

Jaehyun blinked at me. His lips were in a tight line and his brows furrowed deeply as he was considering my words carefully. I poked at the small space between his brows.

 “Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

I then let my hand fall back to my side before smiling bitterly at him.

“You look good, Jae.”

***

JOHNNY AND I WERE CURRENTLY AT THE LIBRARY. I needed to find some reference books whereas he was just bored. He seemed to have a lot of free time on his hands for a pre-law student, but I wasn’t about to criticize him. Also, I was vertically challenged so I needed his help to reach the higher shelves – something he had never let me live down ever since we were toddlers.

Usually a chatterbox, I found it unusual that he wasn’t talking my ear off. I stole a glance over at him before going back to the list I had in my hands.

“You’re a jittering mess,” I said, my voice as low as possible.

Although we were technically not in the silent section of the library, I didn’t want to disturb anyone.

“Meaning you look like you have something you want to say but unsure if you should say it or not.” I then grabbed the book I needed before checking it off from my list and then handing it to Johnny. “Meaning it’s something that I might be mad about.”

He wordlessly took the textbook from me and bit his bottom lip. It wasn’t like him to be so indecisive.

I sighed through my nose. “I’m not going to get mad at you so just spill.”

“Are you going to stay mad at Jaehyun forever?” he then said after what it seemed to be much deliberation on his part. “I mean, he wasn’t even the one who initiated the break-up.”

I turned around to only glare at him. “So, you’re saying this whole situation is my fault?”

“No,” he said, elongating the vowel. “I’m saying that it was a mutual breakup, wasn’t it? So, why are you acting as if you were the only one who got your heart broken?”

I pursed my lips, hating the fact that Johnny was making a very good point. No wonder he wanted to become a lawyer. “I’m not… mad at him.”

He gave me a look that clearly said that he knew I was lying.

“Okay, fine,” I admitted reluctantly. “Maybe I am mad at him a little. But only after I saw his face back at your stupid frat party, so technically, it’s your fault.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “I never got why you two broke up.” He grabbed a book that was too high up on the shelf after he took a peek at my list. “Pretty sure you two still loved each other even after the breakup.”

My best friend looked like he wanted to know why. But he wasn’t going to pry because that’s just how he was. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why he didn’t take any sides. He didn’t want to lose any of us. But I also believed that was just in his nature. Whatever that he shouldn’t be knowing, he wouldn’t be begging us to tell him even if he was dying to know. Like right now.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” I said before heading to the self-counter to check out the books. “Jaehyun and I are history.”

“Sure, you are,” he replied, the tone of his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that why you ended up in his bed the night you two reunited?”

“How is it that you’re the only one bringing it up?” I asked him exasperatedly; a rhetorical question. I took the book from his hand and scanned it before putting it away in my tote bag. “Hell, Jaehyun and I don’t even talk about it.”

“That’s because you don’t even talk to each other.”

“What the hell do you want me to do, Johnny?” I raised my voice at him, something I rarely did, and I could tell that he was slightly shocked by my demeanour. I was grateful that no one was checking out at the same time as I was. I exhaled sharply before taking another book from him and repeated my actions. “Just… tell me what you want me to do.”

Thankfully, he didn’t take my outburst in the wrong way. “I’m not asking you to get back with him or anything. And like, I doubt that Sicheng would even let you.”

I gave him a deadpanned look, something that said, ‘you-think?’ and wordlessly asked him to give me the last book.

He sighed, perhaps a bit tired of the fact that he was stuck in the middle of this cold war between Jaehyun and I. I admit, that was something I did feel bad about for a while… until he started irritating me just now.

“I just want my two best friends on good terms,” Johnny then said, his voice abnormally soft. I glanced over at him and felt a pang in my heart at the sight of my disheartened best friend.

Curse my softheartedness.

I took a deep breath. “Fine,” I gave in reluctantly. “I’ll talk to him or something.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

I punched him in the arm, hating that he still had the ability to put me in the spot like that even though we had spent some time away from each other.

After Johnny went away for university last year, along with Sicheng and Jaehyun, I was in the slumps. Although they were not my only friends, they were my closest. It didn’t feel right to not spend almost every day with them. And I was honestly worried that university was going to change Johnny, that he wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore.

I was glad to find out that when I told him I got accepted into university, he was still the same person, that he was still my best friend who would pick up my nonsensical 4am calls.

But I’d be naïve to think that he hadn’t changed just a little even after a year of not seeing him.

The Johnny from a year ago wouldn’t meddle into my business like this. He was now perhaps not the type to pry whatever we didn’t want to divulge him. But now it looked like he didn’t mind getting his hands dirty a little. He knew that he shouldn’t meddle, which is why he tried to coddle me after I finished checking the books out and we left the library.

“Come on,” he said as he swung an arm around my shoulders. “Let’s go have lunch – my treat.”

***

IT HAD BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE UNIVERSITY STARTED, meaning it had been almost three weeks since I’ve had that particular conversation with Johnny and I still hadn’t talked to Jaehyun properly.

Yet.

We were as cordial to each other as we could, but I could tell that Johnny was not having it. My phone kept vibrating throughout the whole class. It was distracting me to the point I simply switched it to airplane mode and I could tell that my best friend wasn’t too happy about it.

I was ready to run away the second our Egyptian archaeology class ended. But one look on Johnny’s part and I knew that I had to uphold my end of the bargain with him.

I mustered all my courage and walked up to Jaehyun. “Hey, can I talk to you?”

He seemed taken aback by my request, which made sense since I never really initiated any conversation with him. “Uh, sure, what’s up?”

“I meant, like, alone,” I added nervously and cleared my throat. “It’s kind of important, I guess?”

“Yeah, just-”

His phone’s ringtone went off and he held a finger up. I motioned him to not mind me and to answer his call.

“I know we’re supposed to meet in ten but I can’t make it anymore,” Jaehyun said to whoever was on the other side as he stole a glance over at me. I could make out that it was a feminine voice though. I tried not to let that bother me but that would be a complete lie.

I opened my mouth, “If you already have something planned-”

Jaehyun shook his head and quickly ended the call, which made me feel bad a little. I just wanted a few minutes of his time. I didn’t expect him to change his plans because of me.

“We could talk another time, you know?” I said. “It’s not that important.”

“You just said earlier that it was important,” he easily replied before shoving his hands into his jeans’ front pockets, almost as if he was abashed. “And besides… I actually wanted to talk to you too but never found the right timing. I’m glad you came up to me, to be honest.”

“Right, um.”

I could feel Johnny’s and Sicheng’s eyes drilling holes into my back and I turned around, catching them red-handed. The least they could do was pretend that they were embarrassed about listening in to our conversation. I then turned back to Jaehyun who seemed amused with his friends’ behaviour.

“Should we go somewhere more private?” he suggested.

I nodded, almost too eagerly. “Yes, please.”

I didn’t know where he was bringing me. But to say that the walk to the destination was awkward would be an understatement. I rubbed my arms, almost roughly, not knowing what to do in this situation now that it finally happened. We then arrived to our destination, a small café almost hidden from public view.

“Want anything to drink?” Jaehyun asked as soon as we entered the shop.

“Yeah, sure…”

My eyes quickly darted around to try and find their drinks menu. But before I could ask him for it, we were already at the counter and Jaehyun greeted the worker.

“Hey, Tae, I’ll have an iced Americano and a milk tea, please.”

I was surprised that he remembered what was my favourite drink. “Oh, wait, Jae-”

“Oh, and can you make it hot and less sweet, please? Maybe just put half of what you usually put in it?” He then turned to me. “You were saying?”

I gave him a small smile before shaking my head. “Nothing.”

Needless to say, my heart rate quickened a little at his thoughtful gesture. Remembering what my favourite drink was one thing, but remembering little details such as liking my beverage hot and less sweet was another.

“Jaehyun, I’ll bring the drinks to you,” the waiter said before his eyes landed on me, which widened in some sort of recognition. My expression mirrored his. “Oh? Hey, you’re in my classes, right? The intro to Latin and the intro to Ancient Greek ones?”

I nodded slowly, not expecting him to remember me. “Taeyong, isn’t it?” He hummed. “How do you guys know each other?”

He bobbed his shoulders nonchalantly. “Jaehyun and I are in the same frat.”

My mouth let out an ‘ah’ in realization. “Makes sense.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jaehyun replied, sounding offended for some reason.

I shrugged before thanking Taeyong and headed for a table, Jaehyun followed suit. I sat down and realized that I haven’t paid for my drink yet. “Hey, how much do I owe you for the milk tea?”

“How much do I owe you for the milk tea?” he repeated my question, mocking me. The way he said it reminded me of the chicken SpongeBob meme. I tried not to roll my eyes, but was happy to see that he could still joke around with me.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll buy, next time.”

“Oh?” He seemed amused by my invitation and smirked. “So, there is going to be a next time?”

“Yeah?” I replied without hesitation.

Jaehyun seemed taken aback with my response as if he didn’t expect me to respond to his teasing with an actual answer. Before he could have said anything else, Taeyong arrived with our drinks in his hands. He smiled at me before raising an eyebrow at Jaehyun, something that didn’t go unnoticed by me, but I pretended I didn’t see Jaehyun shoo-ing his friend away.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “You were saying?”

“We were talking about a next time,” I reminded him.

“Right.” He coughed awkwardly. “Well, it’s just- I didn’t expect this because you know…”

“Know what?”

“Don’t you hate me?”

I was rendered speechless by his assumption. Granted, perhaps I wasn’t on my best behaviour whenever I saw Jaehyun but never did I act out of line or rude to him. At least, that’s what I thought. I didn’t think that my behaviour would make him think that I hated him.

“God, Jaehyun, no, of course, not. I don’t hate you at all.”

“You… don’t?” His voice unbelievably meek – unusual for a guy who was typically confident.

I shook my head. “I don’t.” I took a sip from my cup of milk tea. “Why would you ever think that?”

“Well, I don’t know?” He shrugged. “Maybe the way you treated me at the frat party? Or the morning after? Or basically any time you come across me?”

I raised a hand, stopping him. “Okay, in my defense, I don’t remember anything from the party.”

He chuckled, his voice husky and warm. “You don’t remember getting into bed with me?”

I faked a wince. “Do we really have to go there?”

Jaehyun raised a brow, throwing the ball in my court. He was basically telling me, here is an opportunity to actually put this behind us and whether I wanted to take it or not, was up to me as well.

“Just… bits…” I mumbled with the cup slightly covering my mouth, hoping that it would hide how embarrassed I was about the whole situation. Jaehyun snickered at my reaction. “A-anyway! What about you, huh? Why would you sleep with me even though we’re not anything to each other?”

His ears reddened – that’s when I knew he was really embarrassed. “W-why wouldn’t I want to sleep with you?”

It’s been a while since the last time I was able to turn the tables on him. I liked where this was going. I bobbed my shoulders. “I don’t know. You could have any other girl at the party.”

“Well, I didn’t want just any girl,” he replied, his teeth gnawing his drink’s black straw. “I don’t… really… sleep around.”

It took me a while to understand the meaning behind his words. “Oh…” I nodded along with him, unsure why he was acting awkward when it finally dawned upon me. “Oh!”

“Yeah,” he confirmed what I was thinking. “I never slept with a girl ever since we, uh, broke up.”

I couldn’t believe him. “Not even once?”

His silence was all I needed. “What about you, then?”

I cocked my head to the side, asking what he meant and he gave me a look that said to stop teasing him. I then giggled softly and bobbed one of my shoulders. “I’m the same, I guess.”

Both of us really shouldn’t be relieved or glad to find out about this, but there’s nothing wrong, with it, right? After all, it wasn’t going to lead to anything – shouldn’t lead to anything – and both of us were aware of that fact.

“Anyway, I wanted to talk about our… relationship,” I then said, finally addressing the reason why I asked to speak with him privately. “We’re in the same circle of friends and it’s making everyone uncomfortable that we’re…”

“Awkward with each other?” Jaehyun offered.

I smiled at his response. “Exactly.” I then fiddled with the handle of my porcelain cup, my eyes not exactly meeting his. “I don’t want you to think that I’m only doing this for the sake of Johnny or Sicheng. I’m doing this for us.”

I could tell that Jaehyun was confused with the slightest twitch of his right brow. I scolded myself inwardly. It seemed like I still knew Jaehyun like the back of my hand like he did with me.

“I mean, before we were a couple, we were friends, right?” I said, recalling the memories I’ve made with him before I called him my boyfriend. It was a time of ease and simplicity. A time we didn’t worry about our future or our ties to each other.

Jaehyun’s features softened, probably also reminiscing our friendship. I admit, there were some times I regretted breaking up with him, regretted our mutual decision that we shouldn’t be together anymore. After all, why separate yourself from your significant other when you still had feelings with each other? But both Jaehyun and I knew it went beyond our feelings for each other. It was more than complicated, to say the least.

But I missed him. I missed having him part of my life. And if we have to revert back to being friends just so I could speak him with normally. Then, so be it.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he replied, his deep husky voice abnormally serene. “I would have never thought that you would want us to be friends, though.”

I tried not to be hurt by his comment. “I know you said the reasons earlier, but why? Because you thought I hated you?”

He nodded slowly.

“I could never hate you, Jaehyun,” I then said. “I was the one who… thought it was a good idea for us to break up. If anything, I’m surprised that you don’t hate me.”

Jaehyun shook his head, his bangs fell in front of his eyes, framing them well. “I also hurt you. We’re both at fault.”

“I hurt you first.”

I didn’t miss that small flash of discomfort in his eyes. Jaehyun quickly blinked that away. He then chuckled and clapped his hands twice before leaning forward with his forearms on the table. I resisted the urge to lean back. I had never been good with seeing his face up-close – it would always send tingles down my spine and make me feel butterflies.

“Okay, let’s just put this in the past and go back to the topic of us being friends again.”

I smiled at him. “Perfect.”

“Perfect,” he repeated and then hesitated a little before adding a small, “I… missed you.”

I blinked at him, a bit taken aback with his comment.

“I missed you too.”

***

IN CELEBRATION OF OUR REKINDLED FRIENDSHIP, Johnny proposed that we should all go out somewhere the four of us.

Me, Johnny, Jaehyun and Sicheng.

I was apprehensive at first, not knowing how to deal with the new dynamics of our little group. Not to mention that I didn’t consider my older brother’s feelings at all.

Sicheng was initially against my relationship with Jaehyun when we first broke out the news to him. Although we waited a while for us to discover our relationship and the extent of our feelings for each other, both Jaehyun and I knew that it wasn’t a good idea to keep this from Sicheng.

Not when my older brother meant so much to me.

Not when he and Jaehyun were best friends.

I was afraid that it’ll change something between Sicheng and Jaehyun. It was a circumstance that was inevitable – that much I knew – but it didn’t mean that I was fine with it. Both men reassured me that nothing could change their friendship. But I had a feeling it still put a strain between them.

Sicheng was still friends with Jaehyun. If not, then I didn’t think he would be willing to be part of the same house as him. But, I had a feeling that Johnny had something to do with it too. Though, right now, I could tell that my brother had an issue with my friendship with Jaehyun, something he literally scoffed at when I told him about it.

He remained silent during our car ride to the Han river park, where we were supposed to meet up with Johnny and Jaehyun.

“You can’t ignore me forever, you know,” I mumbled as I watched the scenery passed by. “I wasn’t asking for your permission when I told you that I was friends with Jaehyun again.”

Sicheng’s hands tightened around the wheel as he lightly sneered at me. “Since when have you ever asked for my permission when it comes to your relationship with Jaehyun? It’s not like you cared much about my opinion, before.”

I was taken aback with how harsh he was with me. No matter how disappointed he was with me or angry, he never used this kind of tone with me. And I could tell that he was surprised with himself too.

“, no, I didn’t mean to speak to you that way.” He took several quick glances over at me, switching his attention from me to the road and making sure I wasn’t about to burst into tears because of his heartless words. Sicheng then sighed through his nose. “I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I wasn’t hurt,” I said quietly. “I’m the bad guy who initiated the break up, remember?”

“I also remember that you have never been a good liar,” he swiftly replied. “I think I would have been fine if you two decided to simply clear things up. By all means, please do. But I never expected you two to go back to how things were. Hell, it hurt you to even be in the same room as him after you broke up, and now you’re telling me you have no problems going back to being friends?”

“I mean… That’s what we’re planning on doing?”

He dribbled his fingers against the wheel as we stopped at a red light. “I’m also saying this because Jaehyun is a close friend of mine. I don’t want to see him hurt, either. Seeing you two break up didn’t only hurt you two. Johnny and I were also hurt.”

There was something else underneath his words, but I was too stunned by this revelation to think too deeply about it. “I- I didn’t-”

Sicheng waved my concerns away as he started to drive again when the light turned green. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Johnny and I don’t know all the little details either, so pondering too much about it won’t do us any good.”

He then turned into the parking lot next to the river’s park. “Just one thing, though.”

I hummed, my eyes searching for the two giants who arrived before us.

My brother parked the car swiftly and killed the engine before turning to me. “Are you sure you’re not going to regret this?”

“…And why would I regret this?”

“Because, I’m almost a hundred percent sure that you and Jaehyun didn’t properly talk about the problems you two had and just swept everything under the rug.”

I remained silent.

“Am I right?”

“We talked.”

He let out a deep sigh, sounding a bit disappointed but not surprised. “Not clearing things between you two is going to come back and bite you in the .”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said with a tone harsher than intended. “It’s not like we’re getting back together, anyway.”

Someone knocked on my side of the window and I turned to see Jaehyun smiling down at me with an iced Gongcha milk tea in his hand. I waved at him and plastered a smile, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the slight tension between us siblings.

“And, well, I guess you can tell me ‘I-told-you-so’ when that actually happens,” I said to him as I went out of the car.

“The whole point of us having this conversation is to avoid exactly that,” I heard him say, a bit frustrated, before getting out of the car as well.

I rolled my eyes before accepting the drink from Jaehyun. “Ooh, thanks. I was actually craving for that.”

“I had a feeling.”

“You did?”

He hummed, a hint of satisfaction in the tone of his voice. “Yeah, you always crave for it whenever it’s hot and sunny like today.”

“Took you guys long enough,” Johnny exclaimed and slung an arm around my shoulders and spun a basketball with his other hand. “Jaehyun and I were getting bored from playing one-on-one. Do you know how hard is it to play against an actual basketball player?”

“Get over it, Johnny,” Jaehyun said with a small snicker. “You just .”

“No one told you to play against a basketball player, Suh,” I added, almost snorting at his pouting face. “And Jaehyun’s right, you do .”

“Um yeah.” Johnny abruptly pushed himself away from me and crossed his arms as he walked backwards facing us. “I did not miss the times when you two used to gang up on me.” He then turned to my older brother. “Sicheng, help a brother out.”

Sicheng snickered deeply and raised his hands in the air. “Sorry, but you’re alone in this, Johnny.”

“I hate you guys.”

We then decided to rent some bikes to ride around the river since Johnny wasn’t too keen on playing and losing another game of basketball against Jaehyun. All four of us were playing around and racing each other for no reason. It was only three hours later that we decided that we had enough and rode back to the park, where we first rented the bikes.

“Did you guys bring the picnic mats and comforters?” Johnny asked.

Sicheng nodded. “Yeah, it’s in the car.” He then looked around our surroundings, trying to find a perfect picnic spot. He then spotted one and pointed it out. “There’s an empty spot over there.”

“Alright,” Johnny said after finding where Sicheng was pointing. “I’ll go reserve that spot. Sicheng will go grab the mats, and you two,” he swivelled around and pointed at me and Jaehyun, “should get us something to drink and to snack on from the 7/11.”

With each of our tasks assigned, we then set off to fulfill them. Jaehyun and I have never hung out just the two of us ever since we had that particular conversation. So, to say that I was unnerved during our whole walk to the small store was a huge understatement. But Jaehyun, being who he was, did his best to make the situation as comfortable as possible for me. And I didn’t know how to thank him for that.

“This kind of reminds me when we used to go on dates-” Jaehyun’s eyes widened at his own mistake before he quickly corrected himself. “I mean, hang out together during the cherry blossom festival.”

I raised a brow and snickered at him. “Jaehyun, it’s not like our dating history is a taboo subject.”

He tried to shrug it off but I could tell that he didn’t mean to bring it up. After all, there was a bad memory linked to cherry blossoms for the both of us.

We then arrived at the 7/11 and the girl at the counter greeted us though I didn’t fail to catch the look of surprise on her face when she saw Jaehyun, though he didn’t seem to notice her reaction. Instead, Jaehyun motioned the snacks aisle.

“Chips and chocolates?” he asked.

I nodded. “Peach and ice?”

Jaehyun winked at me. “You know it.”

I went to the drinks aisle, where I know where the peach drinks were. It was a juice stored in a plastic pouch. They had other flavours such as pear and grape, but our favourite has always been the peach flavoured one. I grabbed four large pouches and grabbed four cups filled with ice that were in the freezer.

“You got them?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yep.”

“Here, give me those,” he said as he grabbed the juice pouches. We then headed over to the cash counter, where the girl who greeted us earlier ended up manning.

“Here’s your change,” she said as she handed the money back to Jaehyun.

“Thanks,” he said. “Can I also have a plastic bag, please?”

The cashier remained unmoving, almost shamelessly staring at Jaehyun. She looked like our age, probably a part-timer who was in university as well. Jaehyun thought that she heard him so he turned around to ask me something until he realized that the girl wasn’t paying attention to what he had said at all. I felt slightly queasy by an unfamiliar feeling that started to form in my gut.

Jaehyun shifted uncomfortably and gave the girl a small smile as he asked her for a bag, again. She automatically snapped out of it and mumbled a small apology as she bagged our stuff, her long hair hiding her flushed cheeks. We thanked her once more before leaving the store.

“Wasn’t she cute?” I asked as we walked towards a table outside where I started pouring each juice pouch into the plastic cups filled with ice.

“Who, the cashier?” Jaehyun asked and raise a brow at me. “I didn’t know that you swung for the other team too.”

“No, you idiot,” I said while rolling my eyes. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

Jaehyun shrugged as he poked the drinks with the straws. “Well, I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying her attention.”

I grabbed two of the cups and started to sip on one as we walked back to the picnic spot, where we could already see Johnny and Sicheng sitting on the mats. “I think she might have a crush on you.”

Jaehyun snorted, somehow amused by my comment for some reason before shaking his head, his ashy brown locks falling in front of his eyes. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

I instinctively brushed his hair away as we walked. “She was staring at you pretty hard. And she looked so shy, too!”

Jaehyun dismissed my claims nonchalantly. I didn’t know whether he was doing this out of consideration for me or not. I remembered how popular he was back in high school, when we were not yet dating. Not only was he handsome, he was a good student with good manners who excelled at basketball as well.

I mean, who wouldn’t fall for him?

***

JAEHYUN ASKED ME TO HANG OUT WITH HIM AFTER MY CLASSES. I didn’t have any of his electives today, only my core classes from my other major. The courses that I had today were the ones I shared with the barista I have met from the café that Jaehyun had brought me, Taeyong.

“How did you find today’s class?” Taeyong asked as our Intro to Ancient Greek course just ended.

We struck out a weird friendship after my visit to the café.

“Easy, actually,” I replied as I started packing my stuff. “If anything, it’s Latin that I’m struggling with, not Ancient Greek.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened. “No way, I’m the opposite!”

My expression mirrored his. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Let’s tutor each other?” he answered, though he didn’t sound too confident.

“Yes!” I said, enthusiastically before clearing my throat, aware that my voice was a bit too loud and everyone’s attention was on me. “I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“No, actually, it’d be great if we can help each other out even more!” Taeyong’s eyes literally started sparkling. “Do you have time today?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m done after this. What about you?”

“Same,” he said. “Do you mind if we do our session back at the frat house? I don’t think the library would have any study rooms left since it’s kind of last minute.”

My expression brightened at his suggestion. “Yeah, that’s fine! I’m supposed to meet up with Jaehyun later, anyway.”

We then left the campus to head over to the frat. On our way, I noticed that a lot of girls were staring at us. More specifically, at Taeyong. I wasn’t surprised, either. Every member of the NCT frat had looks that made the campus buzz. It was almost as if being handsome and smart was a requirement to be part of the frat.

But Taeyong was a different kind of handsome. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that he looked like a male lead character that jumped out from a shoujo manga. He had a sharp jawline and big doe eyes. Not only that, he had a nice figure that allowed him to wear whatever he wanted. Though, unlike a lot of his brothers, Taeyong was a rather shy person who liked to keep to himself.

Taeyong and I talked for the duration of the walk to the frat. He and I exchanged ideas and explained why we got into the two majors we were in. Since Taeyong only added his second major this year, that explained why we were in the same intro courses in ancient languages but not in our archaeology ones.

“Are you planning on applying?” Taeyong asked, referring to the underwater archaeology dig opportunity offered by a university in Italy’s Amalfi Coast that was affiliated with ours.

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I mean, it’s not just a dig, right? It’s also studying there for a whole year. The department is also offering a small trip to Athens for the Intro to Greek Archaeology class, and I think I’m leaning more towards that one.” I then let out a small sigh. “What about you?”

Taeyong didn’t hesitate for a second. “Oh yeah, I’m definitely applying to the underwater one. It’s already hard enough to find paid internships related to archaeology so I’m not going to let this opportunity go to waste.” He then pursed his lips, slightly hesitant before he added, “You should do it.”

I frowned. “Should do what?”

“Apply,” he quickly replied.

I squirmed uncomfortably and rubbed my arms, hoping that it would physically make that intolerable discomfort go away. “I’ll see.”

“You should talk to your brother about it,” he added. “Or Johnny and Jaehyun. I mean, they’re the ones who are closest to you, right?”

I paused at his words, pondering on how true they were, really. “…Right.”

He halted in his tracks and gave me an inquisitive look. “You don’t sound too sure.”

I shook my head, not really liking the topic at hand. But somehow, I found myself confiding in him. Perhaps because he didn’t know me that well. “I just… don’t really talk to them about it, you know?”

“About what? Your future?”

“Yeah,” I admitted and bit my bottom lip as I continued, “Sicheng, he… He’s my older brother and I love him to death, but he’s given up a big part of his life to take care of me and look after me. And after he went away for university, he seemed different, almost reinvigorated. During the time he was away, I didn’t want to bother him with my dilemmas. It naturally became that it’s hard for me to talk to him about anything related to my future.”

“What about Johnny, then? Isn’t he your best friend?”

I smiled at that. “Yeah, he is. Johnny is just this… big ray of sunshine. Always so optimistic, always knowing what he wants in life. People somehow always underestimate him because of his friendly demeanour but he’s one of the brightest people I know. But… there are some times when I came to hate his optimism because it wasn’t what I needed.” I then quickly turned to Taeyong with a panicked look. “Wait, don’t tell them I said any of that.”

Taeyong pretended to zip his mouth. “My lips are sealed.”

I gave him a grateful look. “And Jaehyun… Well, there’s not much to say, really. The future has almost become a taboo subject for the both of us.”

“How so?”

A bitter smile appeared on my lips as I replied, “Well, I guess that’s the very reason why we broke up in the first place. I mean, obviously, there were other issues at hand, but our future was the major one.”

Taeyong seemed to be at loss after gaining this particular knowledge. “…I’m sorry to hear that.”

I snorted. “Why are you apologizing? If anything, I should apologize for making you feel awkward by dumping all this information on you. It’s a bit TMI and you didn’t ask for it.”

He shook his head. “Don’t.” Taeyong then asked, “So, are you and Jaehyun like, friends now?”

“Yup,” I said, popping the ‘p’ and faked a wince. “Weird, right? For exes to be friends?”

The male bobbed his shoulders. “Not my business to comment on.”

After walking and talking for about fifteen minutes, we finally arrived to the fraternity mansion. Surprisingly, the house was relatively quiet. At least, for a house filled with boisterous frat boys.

“Hey, where do you want to study?”

I thought about it for a few seconds. “How about in the dining room? I’m feeling kind of hungry so I think I might steal some of your food later, too.”

Taeyong chuckled and led the way. “Sure, that’s fine.”

After setting our stuff up, I made sure to send a text to Jaehyun, informing him that I was already at the fraternity studying with Taeyong while waiting for him to finish his basketball practice, and to let me know when will he be back. I left the phone near my books but made sure to leave it on vibrate so that it didn’t disturb us if I were to get a call or a notification from him.

We’d done approximately three hours of work and Jaehyun still hadn’t replied to my text, which I found it odd. I texted him again, asking about his whereabouts when my stomach started to grumble badly.

Taeyong evidently heard my stomach grumbling and started laughing. My cheeks automatically reddened and huffed some air out.

“Stop it!”

“I guess it’s time for you to steal some food, huh?” he said as he got up from his seat and motioned me to follow him to the kitchen.

He then opened up the pantry and took out two packets of ramen before giddily shaking them in front of me as if they were prizes. “How about we stop for today and eat some ramen in front of some good old Netflix while you wait for Jaehyun to come back?

“Yes!” I exclaimed and clapped my hands excitingly. “Okay, Medici Masters of Florence or the Roman Empire docuseries?”

The male let out a low whistle and put his hands on his waist as he contemplated the two choices that I gave him. Two shows that might sound incredibly boring to other people, but incredibly enthralling to two History geeks like us.

“How about Medici Masters of Florence?”

“Sounds good!”

I kept my phone with me as we watched the series. Taeyong could tell that I was distracted but was considerate and made no comment about it. I shot one last text to Jaehyun before I somehow fell asleep at around the third or fourth episode. I didn’t even realize that I fell asleep and was unsure how long was I sleeping for.

“What the hell, Jaehyun?!” I heard someone angry whisper. “She’s been waiting for you and you didn’t even have the decency to let her know that you’ll be late?”

“Practice ran late and-”

“I really shouldn’t be the one you are giving excuses to, you know that, right?”

Jaehyun sighed. “I know. I’ll bring her to my room and let Sicheng know that she’s spending the night here.”

Taeyong paused and lowered his voice, “I don’t know what you and the others have planned but she doesn’t deserve this, Jaehyun. Don’t do anything you might regret.”

I wasn’t able to hear Jaehyun’s reply, if he said anything back at all. I did feel someone carry me in their arms and I fell back into my slumber. Although I was still half-asleep, Taeyong’s words kept resonating in my head. And by the time I woke up, I wasn’t sure if that was just part of a dream, that somehow, I imagined the whole conversation.

But when I woke up in Jaehyun’s room, I knew that I didn’t dream that conversation at all.

I got up and went out of his bedroom, to only run into Johnny who stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw me. His eyes then slowly trailed to the door behind me and then back to me while he was scratching his head in contemplation.

“Uh, do I want to know why you came out of Jaehyun’s room…? Again?”

I yawned and flipped him a middle finger. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine,” he said with a small snort before motioning me to follow him to their community bathroom.

As soon as we entered the bathroom, three guys with a towel wrapped around their waist came out from their respective shower box.

I snickered to Johnny. “You’re right – good morning to me, indeed.” I then tried to look over Johnny’s shoulders. “Morning, boys.”

“Morning,” they echoed though judging from the frantic rustling happening behind Johnny, I assumed they were trying to get dressed as fast as possible. Johnny then gave me a new toothbrush with some toothpaste on it and I joined him by the sink.

“So,” he said, his voice muffled because he was trying to speak and brush his teeth at the same time. “You’re going to tell me or not?”

I bobbed one of my shoulders as I leaned against the sink counter. “There’s nothing to tell you. I was supposed to hang out with him yesterday night but I guess that didn’t happen.”

His brows met in the middle. “Because you two were…?”

I almost choked on the foaming toothpaste and I immediately spat it out in the sink before hitting my friend’s shoulder. “No! I meant that literally. I was studying with Taeyong while waiting for Jaehyun to come back and we decided to watch some Netflix and I fell asleep. Next thing I know, I ended up in Jaehyun’s bed this morning.”

Johnny spat the toothpaste out and crossed his arms, somehow exuding a sense of disappointment directed at me.

I groaned out loud and rinsed my mouth before saying to him, “Don’t.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“Your body language said something.”

I quickly washed my face and dried my face with the towel that Johnny handed to me. I rushed out of the bathroom and headed down towards the kitchen before he could have said anything. I opened up the fridge and took out two whole eggs cartons.

“You’re avoiding me,” Johnny said as he started up the coffee machine.

“Nuh-uh,” I retorted and started to crack the eggs into a bowl. “I’m avoiding the conversation you’re trying to have with me.”

“Fine!” he said and threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “But, let me tell you this-”

“Johnny, I don’t want to hear it-”

“-but when I asked you to make amends with Jaehyun, I didn’t mean for you guys to get back together.”

I immediately stopped whisking the eggs and gave him a look. “We’re not back together – we’re just friends.”

He sighed. “Look, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

I almost let out a growl of frustration but the only thing holding me back was that I knew Johnny only had good intentions and wanted what was best for me. After all, Sicheng wasn’t the only one who witnessed how broken I was after Jaehyun and I broke up.

“I know,” I mumbled. “You basically just repeated what Sicheng told me.”

“So, why are you not listening to me or your older brother?”

I flipped him my middle finger once again. Jaehyun then joined us at the kitchen, prompting me and Johnny to end the conversation I didn’t want to have with him – at least, not this early. Johnny immediately faked a smile and greeted Jaehyun before leaving the kitchen, whereas I kept focusing on the eggs, still a bit disappointed about yesterday night and how Jaehyun practically ditched me.

“Hey,” he said as he slid a cup of, what I realized after briefly glancing at it, hot milk tea to me.

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