COME CON CAMEL

An OUT-OF-CONTEXT Scoups ft. Jun Fanfic

WONU WON ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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(UNITED ARAB EMIRATES, 2025)

"EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN SOULMATE, AND MINE IS...A CAMEL."

"I married a camel."

I am not forcing you to believe me but it is true.

The friend I invited over a cup of coffee laughed at me, spitting out the coffee she have been drinking.

Even customers from the other end of the coffee shop turned their heads at me.

Did I say that out loud?

"I'm telling you it's real!" I whispered to my fellow.

"If you are planning to buy a camel, I know a place." I told her.

Even I didn't expect that being an overseas worker in UAE would make me marry a camel. 

Literally. It was a real camel. A huge one.

I married the mammal wondering on a hot desert filled with sand, rolling ball of dried bush, and cactuses.

Yes for the nth time I will tell you, “I married a camel.”

My friend scoffed as her lips formed a lop-sided smile.

"You mean the animal diagnosed with two huge tumors on their back?"

"It's called humps, H-u-m-p-s!" I told her.

"The animal that has big and pouty-lipped snout?"

"Yes, I married that animal." I firmly told her the nth time.

She blinked twice.

I'm serious.

"You must have gone crazy!" She exclaimed.

"Let me show you a proof."

I browsed on my phone's gallery.

"Here." I told her as I shove my screen in front of her face.

"Howlly mother of bull cows and llama!" She exclaimed as she cover her wide open mouth.

She stared into the screen with her shocked expression on, but then after a brief second, her facial expression quickly turned into a resting- face.

"It's a picture of a handsome guy. A human, not a camel." She rolled her eyes.

I just showed her the legendary lip-pouting-with-a-piece-sign selfie of my gorgeous husband.

"It's a handsome camel. A very, very, very, very handsome camel." I told her while smiling from ear to ear.

I giggled while the image of my dreamy husband flashed in my own cloud of thoughts.

I gestured my hand, telling her to come closer. I whispered something on her ear.

"My camel, turned into this handsome guy, hihihi." I squealed while shaking my closed fist, wiggling like a love-drugged worm on my seat.

"I can tolerate all your crazy daydreaming but not this one." She rolled her eyes.

"You're crazy!" She exclaimed.

I immediately took out a serenity-colored scented envelope from my bag.

It was a fancy invitation card where the fonts are written in pure gold.

"Come, see it yourself." I excitedly told her.

I gave her an invitation to our first wedding anniversary celebration this Saturday.

"Will I see your handsome husband tuned into camel if I come?" She dare asked.

"You'll see a camel turned handsome." I smiled at her.

"You'll be surprise once you get there!" I exclaimed happily.

"Don't worry I'll hook you up with another camel if you like." I winked at her.

Then I stood up and left her questioning my sanity.

I still have a husband waiting for me at home. I need to go back and prepare his favorite bento box.

I waved my hand at her. "It's real. I am not high on drugs. Just come and see it with your own eyes."

---

(Pueblo Revival, Dubai, UAE)

Saturday came.

In the middle of a lonely desert, there stood an ancient sandstone house.

The house was built in the middle of nowhere, completely deserted. Isolated.

It was me and my husband's home.

The wind blew off the sands as huge ball of dead bush came rolling passed our humble abode.

I was wearing a cream white fancy traditional Arabic long dress and a veil decorated with shining diamond beads.

On our front door I stood with a camel beside me.

The camel is my husband.

From a distance, I saw exactly five people approaching.

They were all wearing their fanciest 'Abaya' (a traditional Arabic women clothing).

"Salam Alaikum" I greeted my visitors "hello" in Arabic.

I invited five of my closest friends over our antique sand house to celebrate.

It was nothing grand, but this means a lot to me.

"This is my husband, Chubabdul Esu Kups." I introduced them the camel beside me.

"You can call him Scoups for short." I smiled at them widely.

My friends looked at each other, unsure whether they should play along or leave already.

I sighed. I guess they still don't believe me.

"Ta...Tashafarat bimuqabalatik (nice to meet you)" One of my friend greeted my camel husband.

"My husband is a Korean Camel. He can speak and understand English." I told them.

Sounds funny, but I'm speaking truth.

"Ah... nice to meet you." They greeted. I can literally feel their weird stares at me.

"Come in. I already prepared a feast."

I opened our door. One after the other they entered our home.

They all gasped in disbelief the minute they saw the interior of our house.

Our house may look small and tiny on the outside, but really, it isn't.

"Is this an underground sand temple?" They gasped in awe.

I nodded as soon as they saw the luxurious grand stair going down.

I lead them to our dining room downstairs.

Sparkling chandeliers is hanging in the middle of a long table.

The throne-like chairs are all made of gold.

"My husband is literally pooping golds in his butthole." I told them.

They all blinked in sync.

Someone even coughed and choked on her own saliva.

"Have a seat." I told them as I closed their wide open mouth one after the other.

"Oh right, my husband needs to become human." I almost forgot.

I face the camel and chanted things they wouldn't understand.

"Brrrr Baaa!" 

"Brrrr Baaa!"

"Brrrrr Baaaa!"

I chanted those three times as I put my hands up over the camel and dance around.

I rubbed the camel's humps as if a genie will come out of it.

Moments later, smoke came out of the camel's humps.

A huge cloud of smoke formed.

My friends coughed as they try to shoo away the smog.

After few seconds, the smog slowly went away.

They squinted their eyes and saw a figure of a man underneath the thin cloud of smoke.

As soon as the smoke finally went away...

Saliva almost flooded the floor.

They drooled over the sight of my man.

On a cloud of smoke, there stood a man of great physique.

He was wearing a baggy genie pants, purple genie shoes, a turban on his head, and an open cardigan without a shirt underneath.

The hard lines between his toned chest and abdomen contoured his manly physique.

"Tashafarat bimuqabalatik (nice to meet you)” My husband bowed and greeted my friends with grace.

He is my Aladdin in this world full of Osama Bean Luhden.

He quickly grabbed me and hung his arms around my shoulder.

"Happy anniversary dear. You look so beautiful today dear." He greeted me.

I blushed away and giggled in a flirtatious manner.

I slightly punched his exposed chest and stared at his handsome face.

"Why are you so handsome today my dear?" I giggled and pinched his cheeks, hard. Real hard.

Scoups cutely pouted his lips.

"No! Don't pucker up your lips like that!" I scolded him.

But instead of obeying my orders, he just pouted his lips more as he leaned closer to me.

"No don't...I...I might kiss you..." I blushed and looked away.

The butterflies in my stomach rumbled like wild flies the minute he cupped my face.

My eyes widened.

In just a split second, his lips quickly landed on mine.

"Ehem." Somebody from my group of friends faked a cough.

"Get a room will you!"

"You shouldn't have invited us if you're going to make us watch your live ." 

I quickly pushed my husband away.

My cheeks is now as red as hot jalapeno peppers.

"L...let's just eat." I stuttered as I lead them to their seat.

"But I want to eat something else." My husband stared at me while naughtily biting his lips.

My whole face turned blood red.

"Yah stop it!" I mouthed to him and shoved a huge piece of roasted turkey inside his mouth.

"Let's get them to our business." I whispered at him as I secretly stepped on his foot with force.

I gave him a death glare.

I forced a smile and looked at my guests.

Their gaze was glued on Scoups.

Who wouldn't be?

I turned my eyes to Scoups. 

"Why didn't you invite your camel friends?" I asked him.

"Camel friends?" He asked bewildered.

I quickly elbowed his stomach and widened my eyes at him.

"Oooooh...my camel friends." He finally realized what I mean.

"I thought they would freak out if they see a herd of camels on our party." He explained.

"They want to meet your friends too." I said.

"D...does your camel friends transformed into handsome men?" One of my friends thoughtlessly asked.

Scoups and I exchanged stares.

"Ah yeah." Scoups nodded.

"D...do they pooped gold bars too?"

I slowly nodded.

"Where could we find one?! Tell me! Tell me where your camel friends are!" They squealed.

Scoups and I looked at each other as we both flashed a wide smile.

"Alright. I will introduce you to my camel friends." Scoups agreed.

---

After having a meal at home, Scoups drove us to the place using his red pick-up car.

We immediately took them at the place where we first met.

It was at a camel shelter owned by one of my closest friends.

"Muhammad Jun-moon!" I exclaimed as soon as I saw Jun feeding his camels.

I waved my hand at him.

As always, he looks good wearing his one piece long white robe with his usual Arabic head scarf.

"Oh, what brings you here?" Jun greeted us with a hug and a fist bump.

Jun looked at the pack of people behind us.

"Hanging with friends?"

For the second time around I've seen my friends drooling over a guy.

Their gaze were fixated on Jun as if they saw the God of Islam.

One of my friends slightly elbowed my side.

"Is the owner of this camel shelter single?" She asked me.

I shook my head.

"He's already married to Ms. Hao." I told her.

"But don't worry we still have our handsome camels." I winked at her.

Jun lead us to the stable where his magical camels lived.

"I bought a camel here two years ago." I started telling them our story.

"He was just a normal camel I used to ride throughout the dessert..."

"But then one day, when I was taking him to a nice bath...I slipped... I lose my balance and..." I paused and looked at their eyes one after the other.

"Pouty camel's snout met my lips." I revealed.

"A cloud of smoke filled the stable and then..."

"My camel magically turned into a handsome human." I squealed while animating everything that happened back then.

"After that incident, everytime he turned back to his camel form, I will just rub his humps and viola- he will turned human again."

They all gasped.

"I have a variety of camels here." Jun offered.

"You can choose one and take him home." Jun told them as he tour us around his huge camel shelter.

"I bought my camel here at a high price two years ago." I said.

"But I do have cheaper ones." Jun marketed.

"I've got camels with a half-price but they transformed halfly too. It is either you get a human head with camel legs or a camel head with human legs." Jun explained.

"If you're planning to get one, know that this comes with great responsibility." Jun warned them.

"They come with a price." Jun told them.

My friends looked at each other.

"What price?" They gulped.

Scoups, Jun, and I exchanged glances.

"Gold bars." Jun stated.

"You can only buy them with exactly three gold bars."

"Or else, they won't transform the way you liked it."

Awkward silence crept in.

"I'll take one."

"Me too."

"One please."

"Same here."

"Count me in."

My friends raised their hands and availed Jun’s offer without having a second thought.

They didn't even hesitate a single bit.

Then again, Scoups, Jun and I exchanged glances.

I secretly gave them a high five behind their backs.

Scoups formed his hand into a 'money gesture' as he playfully winked at me.

It's a scam folks!

Scamming people is our line of expertise.

'Come Con Camel'

It's the name of the trio gang we formed together.

Scoups, Jun and I are all professional con-artists.

Even the camels we showed them are trained to con people.

Jun and Scoups are notorious for using their looks to lure people.

I, on the other hand is a professional magician.

I make a camel disappear and transformed them into either an Scoups or a Jun, but it is usually Scoups since he looks like one.

No magic involved. Just plain fake smoke and fogs, a platform where I could hide a huge camel, and the boys switching places with the camel.

---

After a long discussion and stuffs my poor victims finally give in.

They placed their gold bars on the table as if they are playing bets on a casino.

After then, each one excitedly took one camel each and left the place.

Fools.

"Who would believe that a camel can turn into a handsome prince charming?" I laughed as I watch them walk away.

Scoups just shrugged his shoulders.

Jun on the other hand is just diligently taking all the gold bars inside a sack.

"Guess, our acting skills are superb." Jun commented.

"Nice work." I commended Jun as I gave him a manly shoulder bump.

"Hey how about me? I've worked hard too." Scoups sulked and pouted his lips.

I gave him a death glare and threw him a dirty polo to cover his exposed abs.

I wouldn't be mad at him if he didn't kiss me back then.

We were supposed to be enemies competing to be the world's most notorious con-artist but we end up working together.

And I hate it.

I hate the idea of me and him working out.

I hate how he made my heart skipped a damn beat!

"Stop pouting will you." I scolded him.

"You look like an ugly camel." I rolled my eyes at him.

"At least I don't smell like one." He dissed me.

I've got conscious and started sniffing my armpit.

I grimaced from the foul odor.

I looked at him annoyed.

Good thing the devil inside my head thought of a brilliant idea.

I smirked as I gave him a playful look.

I put my hands up and shove his face towards my sour armpit!

He yelled.

"Huh! Smell that? That's the scent of success!" I told him as I pressed his head harder on my underarm.

"Uh guys..." Jun suddenly interrupted.

"I think we're the ones who got scammed." Jun told us.

I blinked twice.

Scoups and I frozed on our awkward position.

"What do you mean?" I asked him bewildered.

"The camels..." Jun pointed the view outside!

We all gasped. Our jaws dropped down the floor.

All our camels are rumbling on a run, taking away all the gold bars we've extorted from our entire years of deceiving people!

One of those 'friends' I brought broke the stable open and lure the camels to take our gold bars!

An eye for an eye!

A tooth for a tooth!

All three of us went outside as we yell our lungs out, chasing after our camels and stolen gold bars!

In the middle of a hot and lonely desert, dusty and sandy fog formed as we stepped through the thick layers of sand dunes.

Like action stars running in slow motion, we took our fake guns and rolled over the sands as we struggle to retrieve our golds.

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A friendly reminder...

"DO NOT DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU DON'T WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU."

-Confucius

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END.

#KarmaIsReal
#LessonLearned