Love is painful, although love is painful

Ultimately (결국)
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Big Bang are arguably at the highest point in their music careers. After not releasing any music for almost 4 years, dating back to 2012 with their fifth EP “Alive”, they made their comeback with the MADE project singles. It was a difficult time with enormous expectations riding on their shoulders and a fandom deprived of practically any activity. Not to mention the impending military enlistment that they will all face in a few years to come. The boys felt the need to prove themselves by giving the world some of the best work they’ve ever created.

Seems like the stars aligned for them.

Their efforts had not gone to waste as their singles continued to enter the music charts both domestically and internationally with each passing month. They were surpassing records and shaking the world with the success of their first full album in eight years, which is a feat that even a long-time veteran group would be afraid of challenging. It’s everything they could have ever asked for with such a long hiatus from the industry.

Jiyong reminisces the past few years on his struggles emotionally and musically, unable to find the inspiration to write new music for the group. As a result, their album continued to get delayed and time kept passing by without any fruition. It was getting frustrating for someone who used to put out songs every day just by habit. It’s these times that truly make him question whether his title of “King of Kpop” is truly accurate, and who wouldn’t? Every release was another huge burden with the fear of failure that the music won’t match the standards of the previous hits. Those kinds of thoughts that eat at your confidence and stir up insecurities. But everything seems worth it at this moment as he’s sitting in his expensive home, petting his dogs Gaho and Jolie. It’s a nice apartment known for its existence by the entire Republic of Korea as it resides in Galleria Foret of Seongsu Dong. “Nice” would probably be the understatement of the century, but he knows to humble himself every now and then. Especially during vulnerable moments such as now where he’s pondering about Big Bang’s achievements while Frank Ocean is blasting in the background. It’s a very picturesque view of his life, which further re-emphasizes the point of him being at one of the highest points in his music career.

It was nice getting to relax after experiencing the inhumane amount of stress and workload that comes with every promotion period, whether it be group or solo. Technically it hasn’t even ended, but the upcoming end-of-the-year award shows will be the next hurdle to jump in his hectic schedule and to say he was excited was an overstatement, contrary to popular belief.

It’s not like his energy levels continue to increase as he ages and yet here he is, pushing his limits both mentally and physically to satisfy the expectations that come with the industry. It makes him miss the days where he just enjoyed writing because it made him happy, but it was starting to become more of going through the motions especially when he’s experiencing a slump with a deadline riding on his shoulders.

His train of thought gets interrupted by a beeping sound coming from his front door, signalling the fact that someone is punching in his house code and is about to enter. There’s only so many people that have this kind of access.

“Sup ,” Seunghyun says as he waltzes his way into the living room where Jiyong was lounging. He kicks off his shoes and moves to pick up Jolie in a baby cradle, making himself comfortable on the couch as if he owns the place.

On second thought, this isn’t completely inaccurate considering the amount of time he spends here.

“Yo. What brings you to chez moi this evening?” There’s an air to the way he asks the question as if his presence is bringing grace into his best friend’s life. Jiyong certainly thinks so.

Seunghyun stops petting Jolie and gives him a look as if he’s committed some heinous sin. “Chez moi?”

“What? I can’t culture myself every now and then?” At least he’s not butchering the meaning behind the term and uses it correctly. He’s not a savage.

There’s a pause before Seunghyun decides to grace him with a response, obviously judging him for his choice of words. “Anyways. I came to bother you because of these rumors involving you I heard going around. I mean, I obviously know they’re not true and you’d think people would be smart enough to realize how far-fetched some things are--but such is the world we live in.” He says this with minor hand wisps to add emphasis.

There’s a pause and Jiyong stares at him blankly, unphased by this statement. “And what exactly are these rumors? Humor me and I’ll try to sound as if I care.”

If he’s being real, it’s not like this is the first time Jiyong has ever been caught up in rumors. In fact, it no longer surprises him when people start coming up with their ridiculous ideas of his personal life. It’s not like they’ll believe him even if he counters the rumors otherwise, so it’s a waste of breath and energy trying to care about what the public thinks of him anymore.

Seunghyun stares at him with his fingers together as if he’s absolutely done with his , but Jiyong knows him well enough to understand that it’s just him being himself. An eccentric character.

“So you’re telling me…that during these past two weeks of you essentially disappearing off the face of the earth to be a recluse in your own home...you haven’t somehow encountered these rumors...?”

“Just get on with the point. You’re uselessly dragging out this conversation by asking me questions you already know the answers to.”

Jiyong isn’t really annoyed, but he’s finding this conversation with his friend extremely weird in how slightly serious he’s suddenly being. Since when have they been concerned with rumors anyway?

“Okay, killjoy. Just gotta the fun out of everything,” Seunghyun changes his positioning on the couch to lay on his side as if he wasn’t already in a comfortable position, “We’ve never been concerned with rumors, but this rumor is ridiculous in the fact that it’s hilarious.”

“Right...”

Frank Ocean continues to play in the background for a few seconds as no response is given.

“So are you going to tell me about this today or years after all of this is swept under the rug?” Jiyong deadpans.

Seunghyun chuckles as if he doesn’t know that he’s being a frustrating . This behavior is by no means new, but it doesn’t make it any less irritating. He’s obviously doing this to purposely bust his balls and his patience for this conversation was starting to run thin.

“Okay, okay I’ll stop. I was honestly going to make you guess just for s and giggles, but I’m not that cruel.” Except he totally is that cruel and the sarcasm oozes from this false statement.

“But BASICALLY, fans are claiming that you and SNSD’s Taeyeon are dating.”

Well, that is quite a rumor.

At least now he understands why Seunghyun finds this so entertaining and is acting so weird about it. Granted, it is pretty far-fetched. Can’t deny that. Even all of his past dating rumors have made some sense before, often involving his labelmates or friends. He personally can’t see why fans are so into pairing up their favorites, but it’s not like their assumptions have ever greatly affected him. They had a right to think whatever they wanted as long as they weren’t imposing their views onto him. This, however, was truly a farce stemming from delusion. They couldn’t have paired up two more unlikely people than himself and her. If he can recall correctly, the only “interactions” they’ve ever had were from award and music shows or festivals, and those only occurred once a year. He can’t even remember the last time the thought of ‘Kim Taeyeon’ even passed his mind until she was mentioned at this very moment. He would’ve forgotten about her existence.

It’s like pairing Wonder Woman with Iron Man.

They were from two different universes.

“Huh.”

“...Huh?”

“Huh.”

Seunghyun glares at him. “Am I supposed to understand what that means?”

“Nope, but what am I supposed to say to that anyway?” Jiyong shrugs with a slightly thoughtful look, similar to one of amusement. “Like you said before, it sounds completely ridiculous.”

His friend purses his lips and slowly nods in a silent agreement. Seunghyun moves to pull out his phone to the article stating the rumors, “Fans have even compiled pictures of you guys and they’re analyzing the similarities in your instagram posts claiming that it’s just ‘too much of a coincidence’ for it to not mean something.”

Jiyong moves in closer to his friend to take a hold of his phone and look through the articles that were showing up. All of the theories were based off of his and her more recent instagram posts involving the angle of the selfies taken, items in the pictures, filters used, and really just about anything that the netizens deemed appropriate to link the two. What’s actually surprising is the fact that he can’t help but find all of these theories and ‘reasonings’ extremely amusing. As ridiculous as this all was, it was entertaining. Especially because there was nothing exciting going on in his life right now besides group promotions and the occasional moments in which he decides not to be a recluse. It also makes him wonder whether the entire Republic of Korea thinks he’s a serial monogamist with the constant dating rumor accusations that he’s faced in his career thus far.

He scrolls further through the articles to read the writing and comments, but what shocks him most is how surprisingly supportive even the non-fans are of this rumor. The general public seem to be extremely supportive of ‘their relationship’ claiming that it’s because they’re ‘Kpop’s best leaders’ or because ‘it makes sense’.

Well, they weren’t exactly wrong.

It doesn’t help the fact that both of their respective groups and solo careers have been extremely successful. Admittingly if they were dating, they would be a powerhouse couple both visually and musically. He entertains the thought of dating her in that second for this sole reason alone, that objectively speaking she’s a very attractive girl with the entire Korean male population pining after her.

Jiyong’s not stupid, he knows how to appreciate a beauty when he sees one. And it’s in this moment of entertaining these thoughts that he remembers he only recently got out of a long time relationship with his first love. Well that thought escalated quickly.

“You have to admit, you guys would make some beautiful and talented babies Ji,” Seunghyun offhandedly mentions this almost as if he was reading Jiyong’s mind. It’s almost scary how his best friend could read him in these kinds of moments.

“You know with the amount of interest you’re showing in these rumors, I’d almost think you want us to be dating.” Jiyong says this with a smirk, in a testing manner as if challenging what his friend would think.

“I’m just stating the truth. It wouldn’t be a bad thing, but god knows you’re not ready to be in another relationship right now regardless.” There’s a slight look of sadness in his eyes, and Jiyong knows his friend means w

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positivelyadverse
Hello all, it's been so long. I am terrible T-T. But for those that have stuck around or are new here, thank you for giving a piece of my heart some love. Till next time~

Comments

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windflower01
#1
Chapter 3: Yay!! That was so detailed and it made me miss gtae even more. Thanks for the update. Hope you are doing well.
Lemonesky #2
Chapter 3: Omg, finally. Please take care and update for next 😭🥺🙏🏻🙆🏻‍♀️
Catrencan9
#3
still waitin for the new chapter 🧡🧡🧡
camylleval #4
Chapter 2: thank you so much for the update, i love this story and your writing is really good, can’t wait for the next random update haha
lalalavieenrose
#5
Chapter 1: New reader here!!!! AAAAA where's the next button??😭
leegiieyeon
#6
yayayay~ another gtae story to look forward to.. :)
bellagrabel #7
Chapter 1: please continue authornim
crookedgemini #8
omg im looking forward to this, been wanting something new lately!
no_face #9
Chapter 1: This is kinda interesting,, excited for the next chap,, please update soon authornim,, 😇
Ivett15
#10
Chapter 1: Hi! I woke up today feeling like I wanted to read a Tae´s story so it was really lucky for me to found your story right away, please continue no matter how much you take (hope no a lot of time though) see u soon!