ONE

❤︎✕❤︎✕❤︎

It’s a sunny Saturday. A sweet weekend for me and my boyfriend. Also today is our fifth anniversary. We decide to have a fine dinner outside to celebrate our day tonight. Just like what most couple usually do.

And here I am, cuddling while watching Dynasty with my boyfriend. It’s just nice to have someone to cuddle with especially in this weather. It’s madly snowing outside. I always love winter. Though it’s cold outside, but I feel warm somehow. Maybe it’s because I have someone to warm my heart.

“I can’t believe how dysfungsional this family is.”

And yes, that is my boyfriend. Kim Jongin. Or I’d rather call him Kai. It’s my nickname for him since our high school years. I’ve known him since we were still young— 14 years old to be exact. We met during middle school days but we weren’t that close that time. Basically, it just like I knew him and he knew me. Surprisingly, later we got into the same high school and same class. I guess that’s when we became close after.

During high school, he was known as the ‘good-looking guy’ but actually he was just a shy boy. He only befriend with boys only. A lot of pretty seniors were after him but he didn’t mind all those pretty women. I believe he was trying to focus on his GPA so he could apply to SKY universities which eventually he accepted at Seoul University. And don’t be surprise, I also got into Seoul University. I guess it’s safe to say that we were destined to be together. I can say that I’m a very lucky one to have him as my boyfriend. He is the sweetest man. I could never ask for a better man because no one could beat him.

Kai makes a disgusted sound. “Oh God. I can’t even imagine if I have a mother like her.”

“You’re acting like a woman.” I snort.

“You would think the same if you’re watching it properly!” Kai says.

“I’m watching.” I say. But he says his point. The whole time I only stare at his perfect visual and also thinking about what dress should I wear tonight.

I rest my head on his shoulder whilst playing with his fingers. “Kai.” I mumble which Kai responds me with a little hum.

“Have you ever wondering what would happen if we’re not together?” I ask.

He stares at me and smile. “If we’re not together, I’m going to try harder to be with you.”

Oh come on, who doesn’t love this man? Even his words sounds so perfect. You can say that I’m totally madly in love with him. Even after five years together, It’s still feels so new to me.

“You’re so disgusting!” I lie.

“But you love me.”

Truth. Once again, he says his point there. I love him with all my heart.

“Oh right. Your father called this morning.” Kai says.

I shudder. “What did he say?”

“He said he’ll call again.” He respons. “But he is hoping that you’ll call him back later.”

I get shivery feeling in my stomach. It’s not normal for him to call us. Especially in the morning. If it’s morning in here, It means it’s already dark in New York. He is not a type who would call someone if it’s not something urgent. If I say urgent it means work and work means the company.

I slump down and hide my face behind Kai’s back. I feel like about to burst. I just hope that he would just let me live the way I want. Family’s company is never be my first option. I never want to take over the company or even to be the next CEO. Just thinking about it, it makes my head dizzy.

My whole big family is living in New York or must I say, we all grew up in New York— Korean-American they call us. We came to Korea during holiday after I graduated from primary school. It was my first time ever to visit Korea. Both my parents are Korean but they both grew up in US. We came to Korea to attend the funeral of my father’s brother. And then, I fell in love with Korea. Everything about Korea amazes me. I love how we should bow properly to older people or even the people we barely know. I love how people who is younger should call the older with either ‘Oppa’ or ‘Eonnie’ for girls and the opposite ‘Noona’ or ‘Hyung’ for the boys.

Pure Korean culture is so different from people like me or should I say Korean-American. In America, we can do whatever we want or say but in Korea, it’s like there are lots of rules. But honestly, I like rules. It’s like there’s a big line for me to not jump over so I can control myself more. And I begged my parents to let me live in Korea with my late uncle’s wife, Aunt Jinhee. It took two weeks for them to finally let me live in Korea or it is because I cried to my grand father so he could talk to my father. And I never moved back to New York again ever since which makes my father furious. When Kai says the Dynasty’s whole plot is about their dysfungsional family, I can say that my family is no different from the series.

During our dinner, Kai throws a little surprise for me. He rents the whole restaurant and he even prepares an musical performance. He knows how much I love musical— Dancing in The Rain to be exact.

“Do you like it?” Kai asks.

“Love it.”

He smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Kai knows me so well. He always give me a whole different event every year. If an event for our anniversary like this, then you can imagine how big the event is if it’s for my birthday. Five years in a row to be treated like a whole queen is something I never imagine when he say ‘I love you’ for the first time. Everything about him is just so perfect and to be with someone like him is beyond perfect.

After two hours and half, our perfect fine dinner along with the musical performance is come to an end. We bid goodbye and thank you to every musical players who’s willingly to play tonight.

Kai puts his fingers in mine as we wait for our car. It’s a cold night, I can’t deny with the fact that the wind is piercing straight into my bones.

Kai slips out his fingers from mine and puts his arm around my shoulder. A smile spread across his face. “Wait a little bit more, okay?”

I nod and rest my head on his chest. This is my comfort zone.

“Did you have fun?” Kai asks whilst rubbing my shoulder, probably hoping that it would make me a little bit warm.

“I did.” I say. “Thank you for always make me happy.”

“Your happiness is mine.” He says, gently squeezing my shoulder.

I smile upon hearing his answer. I don’t know how this smart- little boy in middle school turns into this sweet man over the years without an experience of having a girlfriend before? I may sound so arrogant but I’m his first girlfriend ever. Truthfully, I was so shocked to hear that I am his first girlfriend. It was on our first date after became official, he confessed that he never had a girlfriend before. It was so cute— he was cute.

“Are you going to call your father back?”

“Nah. I’ll just wait for his call.”

The clock on the wall says 01.35 AM and I’m on bed, staring at Kai’s face. My eyes still wide awake. I’d blame all the wine that I drank earlier. I shouldn’t have drank that much, knowing me, I won’t be sleeping all night if I drink too much. It’s a total opposite of most people.

Kai is sleeping peacefully. I love his looks when he is sleeping. His lips parts a bit and he loves to hide his face under the blanket. He sleeps like a little baby. I brush his hair that falls on his face softly, trying to not wake him up. And suddenly I remember our conversation this afternoon about what would happen if Kai and I are not together. Just to think about it, it makes my heart hurt. I don’t think I’d be able to do all of the things I’ve accomplish without him. He is the source of my strength. His smile is my vitamin. His love— It’s the one who keeps me sane and alive. If we are not together, I’d probably chase him even if takes me to the moon.

“Hey. Why are you still awake?” Kai’s sleepy voice wakes me up from my thought.

“Did I wake you up?” I ask.

He grins. “No. Nature calls.”

I laugh. “Go fulfill your nature calls then.”

“Don’t miss me too much.” Upon hearing his answer, I throw an pillow on his back as he laughs.

I couldn’t say that I’m not thinking about my father. He rarely calls me these days. I think the last time he called me like a month ago and he was just checking me whether if I’m still alive or not— he said. But this time it just feels so different and to be honest, it bothers me a lot. And this wine effect is not helping at all. I really want to sleep so I can stop thinking about it at least for tonight.

Kai jumps on the bed, hugging me from the back. “I’m back, baby.”

“Kai.” I turn my body around to snuggle on his arms.

He gives me a little hum as he pulls me closer to him. 

“I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of, baby?” He asks.

“It just… I feel… something is going to happen.”

Kai my back softly. Convincingly Kai says, “Whatever is going to happen, I’ll always by your side. So don’t be scared, okay?”

His words always calms me down. I never forget to always thank him for make me so safe around him. He always make sure that he will never leave me no matter what. For these past five years, he did always stand by my side and I’m so thankful for him to always keep his words.

“If he is going to take me back to New York, what would you do?”  I ask.

Kai stops my back. It’s a silent. And now I’m regretting what I just asked. All I can hear is the clock tickling on the wall. I can tell that he is surprised by my question. I’m aware that we never talk about this before. He probably never thinking about this at the first place. I’m scared. My heart beats so fast that I think he probably hears it.

“I’ll come with you.” He says. “I’m going wherever you go, Nara.”

I release myself from his arms and stare at his lovely brown eyes. My eyes starting to wet. I can feel it. I can’t believe that this beautiful man here is mine. His lips parts into a big smile. And just like that, my tears falls down on my cheeks.

Kai wipes the tears from my cheek. “I’ll always by your side, remember?”

“But what about your work?”

“It’s something that I can find anywhere. But you? You can never be found twice. You are rare.” He throws all the sweetness inside his words. This is why I don’t need to eat sweets because he literally feeds me all the sweets from his heart.

“Kai, I—”

“Will you always stand by me too, Nara?” He stares at me with such a loving gaze. If eyes can kill, I’d probably be death years ago.

“I will.” I say it boldly. Hoping that he’d believe me because I promise to myself that I’ll never leave him. Ever.

He pulls me into his arms. “Then everything is settle. There is nothing we should worry about, okay?”

I nod and hug him back. There is no distance between us. And no one can put the distance between Kai and I.

“Will he like me though?” There is a tint of worry in his voice.

“He will, Kai.” I say, trying to make him to not thinking about it but in fact, I don’t know. My father is so unpredictable sometimes. I’m just hoping that what Kai said is true— there is nothing we should worry about, at least for now.