Content warning: mentions of ual content, cigarettes

She found him outside the back exit, holding a lit cigarette between two trembling fingers as he watched the flurries come down around him. "What are you doing out here?" Seohyun asked quietly. He glanced back and pulled his jacket tighter as he took a drag of the cigarette, leaning his head back against the wall with eyes closed as the smoke danced into the cold air with its soulless charm.

"I can't sit still, Seohyun, I'm so afraid," he returned in a panicked tone. "I don't smoke but Fei has cigarettes so she gave one to me and holy , it's not helping. I thought it would calm me down but it's not working," he added. Seohyun leaned against the wall with him as she couldn't help but wonder what his cigarette dreams were, the kind of things he thought about when it was just between him and the toxic gas pulling at his lungs.

"Well, for one thing, you should put it out. You came out here for the cold air and it softens the nerves, but smoke doesn't give any type of ease," she reminded him. With that, she watched as he dropped the cigarette and stomped out the dying spark in the thin layer of snow. "What else have you tried?"

His head fell back again and he sighed deeply. "Everything, Seohyun. I've tried calming teas and reading a book and listening to music and to the thought of- nevermind. The point is that none of it works. My heartbeat is so ing fast. I can't take deep breaths and my hands won't stop shaking," he admitted. She noted that he was speaking much faster than usual, as compared to his normal cool tone and spaced words, but she had to laugh at his mention of ion.

"Well, an doesn't always help if you get so worked up over it, but I'm not one to tell you what to do with your body. Anyway, what are you afraid of?" She asked. He took a short breath and shook