comfort me tomorrow (my teddy bear)

Junk of the Heart

 

 

 

When Joohyun opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Seulgi, resting peacefully beside her.

 

Her eyes flitted around the room the best the sleeping head pillowed on her arm allowed her to, and recognized the few paintings decorated on the walls as Seulgi’s own with the little moonlight that shone through nearby blinds.

 

Joohyun couldn't remember what had happened after she'd fallen asleep on Seulgi's back following a long day of practice. All she could recall was how stubborn she'd been prior, and Seulgi's sweetness regardless. Her girlfriend had been almighty patient with her, staying 'til the very last second. 

 

She hoped that she hadn't caused too much trouble for Seulgi. Carrying her through the company building, driving both of them back to her place, and - Joohyun looked down - washing her up and changing her clothes, apparently. All while she'd been just as tired as Joohyun, practicing for as long as she had, if not longer.

 

Joohyun's stare returned to her girlfriend. hung slightly ajar, and every once in a while, made tiny noises resembling a soft snore. A combination of guilt and love bustled in her chest.

 

"I'm sorry," she whispered down to the sleeping woman. 

 

Joohyun was afraid that not many people gave Seulgi enough credit for how caring, thoughtful, and dependable she truly was. There was more to Seulgi than being a passionate artist onstage, and her cute, childlike personality offstage. For years on end, Seulgi had been not only their team's pillar, but Joohyun's especially. Hardships she endured with Seulgi, heartaches only Seulgi knew, happiness they'd shared together in secret - it'd always been her.

 

The toughness of her heart may have changed, but she still remains the same.

 

Joohyun laid a hand on Seulgi's cheek, and without warning, felt a tear trickle down her face. She quickly retracted her hand and wiped the lone tear, then the corners of her eyes before more could follow.

 

'No, you can't be crying now, you two haven't even debuted yet!' she berated herself, covering to stifle her audibly shallow breaths. 'And you can't risk waking up Seulgi either…'

 

Joohyun rarely showed her tears, a fact known by many. It was her belief that she had to put up a strong front at all times that relucted her to do so. Instances when she could freely shed her emotions were in solitude and - not even in the company of her own family, but with Seulgi. The thought of having someone know her to the extent that words were unnecessary was frightening at first, appalling even. The feeling of being vulnerable, insecurities laid out in the open. But as the months, years passed - as the younger woman became a constant in her life - Joohyun came to accept that if it was Seulgi, her tenderhearted Seulgi, then it was more than okay.

 

As soon as Joohyun gathered herself, she removed her hand from and looked at Seulgi with a smile, adoring the woman's peaceful features once more. The sight gave yet another tug at her heartstrings, but the guilt was no longer there.

 

Seulgi often opened up to her about sleepless nights as their subunit debut grew closer and closer, worries keeping her wide awake. She'd shared her anxieties about singing and dancing again after so long, thoughts of self-doubt consuming her night in and night out. Joohyun felt terrible that she couldn't be by her side as much as she wished, knowing very well that Seulgi (both of them, really) slept better when she was by her side. So seeing her then, sound asleep, had Joohyun's heart twisting in joy. It almost made her want to cry again, but Joohyun held it in.

 

Carefully, she ghosted her fingers over Seulgi's face. Her eyes, the ones that used to avoid hers at every cost, and now looked at her with so much endearment. Her hair, the strands fallen over her face, tolled by years of chemicals - another reminder of how long they'd been by each other's sides. Then her lips - akin to the cold and heat, sending shivers through her body at some times, and warming her insides at others.

 

Seulgi's lips trembled in her sleep, as if she was whispering, and Joohyun had to resist the sudden urge to kiss them. Instead, she kissed her on the forehead. As she pulled away, Seulgi shifted, head moving more snugly atop Joohyun's arm. 

 

Joohyun, thinking she'd woken Seulgi, clenched the fist of her trapped arm and waited. When Seulgi stopped moving about, still fast asleep, Joohyun let out a soft breath of relief.

 

She raised her head just enough to see the clock on the nightstand behind Seulgi. 

 

3:23

 

Joohyun grimaced slightly. They both had practice again later in the afternoon, and although that gave them a number of hours to rest up, it didn't feel like enough at the moment. She felt greedy, wanting nothing more to have Seulgi in her arms like this for longer. Quietly, she sighed. 

 

Despite knowing that rest should be her top priority, Joohyun decided to stay awake for a bit more, to watch Seulgi, calm and peaceful. It wasn't always like this, and wouldn't be for another time for who knew how long. If Joohyun couldn't have the whole day, she might as well make the most out of these silent hours.

 

She ran her fingertips along the length of Seulgi's arm, making sure her touches were kept to the extent that wouldn't wake the younger up. But during a fleeting touch she had become unaware of its effect, as Seulgi made a small whimpering sound. It hadn't been enough to rouse her from slumber, but Joohyun took it as a sign to be more careful.

 

Seulgi's face scrunched into a frown when she'd paused. Joohyun silently laughed, amused at the way her girlfriend had quickly given in to her affection while she was asleep, something she didn't commonly show whenever she was awake. As gently as possible, Joohyun padded her thumb between the younger's creased brows. The lines on Seulgi's face smoothed out in an instant, humming contentedly with a faint smile growing across .

 

Seulgi murmured in her sleep. Incomprehensible at first, but as Joohyun leaned closer, she realized it was her name. "Hyun...Joohyun…"

 

The said woman cooed, running her hand through Seulgi's hair. "I'm here," she whispered back, though Seulgi was obviously still asleep.

 

She was too cute for her own good, a thought Joohyun had expressed several times. She didn't even need to try.

 

Further proving Joohyun right, Seulgi's mouth bunched in a pout. This time, Joohyun couldn't resist and leaned in to press a light peck on her lips. Seulgi's pout turned into a smile right away, as if she'd been conscious the entire time.

 

Joohyun chuckled. "What are you dreaming about, huh?"

 

Her smile was so lovely, cheeks rising to her eyes, that Joohyun wondered why. She could definitely tell that she was in whatever dream Seulgi was having, otherwise Seulgi wouldn't have mumbled out her name, and made her all the more curious. What do you see with your closed eyes, Seul?

 

Just as Joohyun thought she couldn't swoon over her even harder, Seulgi unconsciously wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. How could anyone possibly hate you?

 

Closing any space left between them, Joohyun gently removed her arm from under Seulgi's head, and put both of her arms around her neck. "I hope we meet in that dream of yours," she said softly, tucking Seulgi's hair behind her ear. So don't wake up from your sleep just yet.

 

"Good night, my love."

 

 



Where can I touch you?
Why are you smiling so prettily?
How can I hate you?
Still, you have to comfort me tomorrow
My teddy bear

- teddy bear (kimsejeong)


 

 

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lowsugar
to everyone who's here for seulrene, see u all at the next update LOL
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