The sound of heels clicking against the floor was the first thing Mina heard after opening her eyes making her know that once again she was waking up to an empty side of the bed, the dancer yawned loudly as she stretched her arms up still on the mattress before getting enough will to stand from the bed on such early hours on a free day yet Mina knew that if she wanted to see her girlfriend that day she probably needed to hurry out of the room. Mornings with Nayeon were always a little rushed and chaotic like she always forgot something really important and had to go back home on last minute, but Mina had grown used to it.
After living together for a year there was almost anything Mina couldn't figure only from a simply look to the woman standing on the middle of their wide living room, phone in hand already for Mina's disappointment. There was a time where she didn't need to make such a big deal to gain Nayeon's attention but after a few months with her new job Mina was for sure trying her best not to feel pushed a side, on the last few weeks things had gotten a little too busy for Nayeon who wasn't usually the best dealing with her time and that was what seemed to be pushing the half sleep blonde into a part of her life that sometimes Mina thought Nayeon forgot.
-I told Sana those papers were on my desk yesterday, why can't anybody find them now?- Nayeon groaned on the phone with a frown as she turned around to spot the blonde walking towards her with her eyes barely open, a smile reached her lips immediately after.
Mina smiled back at her as she moved closer only to press her head against the lawyer's chest, despite she hated the sound of the heels against their floor Mina had to admit it was nice how Nayeon seemed to tower her with them.
-Morning' my baby- Nayeon whispered against her ear with a wide smile getting distracted from the call only for a second.
-Why are they calling you now? Can't they wait until you get there?- Mina pouted looking up at the girl holding her, she felt the tip of her nails slowly massage the back of her head as Nayeon listened to the voice on the other side of the phone, she got no answer.
Mina never thought of herself like a person who demanded attention but on moments like those she really wished to have the guts to take Nayeon's phone away from her hand, a frown replaced the calm gesture on her face as she walked away from her girlfriend.
-Look Jackson, I'll fix it when i get there, okay? I'm on my way already- Nayeon lied as she followed Mina's steps into the kitchen.
Looking how Mina filled her own cup with coffee, Nayeon wished she could stay to make breakfast for her like the first few months after the girl moved with her yet she didn't let her know. The dancer felt the pair of arms hugging her lightly from behind only a moment before Nayeon's lips kissed her nape and her chin rested over her shoulder with a soft smile.
-I'm sorry i woke you up- Nayeon hummed leaning to kiss Mina's cheek a few times.
-Did you eat something already?- Mina said softly before taking a sip of her coffee leaning back against Nayeon's front.- Maybe you could stay just twenty more minutes, say it was the traffic- Nayeon's smile grew wider at the words receiving Mina's soft lips against hers.
-I would love that baby but Jackson is having a over one of our cases and since I'm the only competent brain on my team, they do need me. - Nayeon said giggling when Mina pouted softly at the news. - Minster Lee wants to talk to me this afternoon; I heard he's looking for a new lawyer to put on his team.
-Well he better picks you then- Mina said honestly closing her eyes when the woman holding her kissed the space between her eyebrows.
On moments like those Mina forgot why she would even be angry at Nayeon, the tender touch against her arms and how softly her lips kissed her almost made her feel a little overdramatic about her own feelings, Nayeon still loved her, right? At least that was what Mina wanted to believe with all her soul. The sound of her phone once again made the lawyer whine in annoyance against Mina's lips.
-I'll try to be here early, i promise- Nayeon almost whispered against the girl's lips before pecking them once again, Mina simply nodded knowing that it was most probably a lie, a second after her attention was on the phone again- What the Jackson? I told you to wait.
Picking her jacket from one of the barstools and one thick filler from the coffee table in front of the couch Nayeon was ready to leave to work that morning, just like all the others Mina thought. The dancer walked behind her holding the cup between both of her hands as Nayeon rushed towards the door with her phone against her ear.
-I love you- Mina said with a soft smile when Nayeon finally opened the door.
She got no answer back that morning, instead the door was shut right on her face making her girlfriend disappear on the other side without even turning to look at her as a goodbye, Mina was alone again. There wasn't almost any difference from that morning to all the others on the past two months, the same empty promise of coming back home on a decent hour that only ended on Nayeon walked into their room on her tip toes not to wake Mina up in the middle of the night, the same rushed loving on the mornings before she hurried towards the door without even taking a proper second to talk to her girlfriend before leaving. Nayeon simply wasn't the same woman Mina moved in with months behind, the woman she loved so deeply.
A warm smile curved Mina's lips as she walked into the familiar restaurant, already on a table and waiting for her Momo waved her hand towards her to gain her attention. No matter how many years passed between them Mina always felt excited to meet Momo, even if they saw each other daily on the hallways on their dance studio. Her friends were one of those things Mina treasured and after years of knowing each other Momo for sure played an important role on her life.
-Am I late? - Mina wondered seating on the free chair in front of her friend with a smile.
-I happen to be early today, just to save us your nagging about time- Momo teased leaning forward on the table with a wide smile on her lips as well.
-I have too much free time to waste today anyways- Mina said honestly making Momo nod knowing there was more to be said- Maybe we could go shopping after.
-Sounds like a plan, i need to want to find a gift for Tzuyu- Momo smiled resting her chin on the palm on her hand, and Mina’s curious gaze asked all the questions without even opening . - She got the perfect score on her last exam... but that's probably just an excuse for me to buy her something- Momo admitted making Mina laugh.
It was the first time in years Mina saw her friend being so in love with a girl; Tzuyu was for sure making something inside her because Momo couldn't seem to waste any opportunity she had to spoil her on one way or another. The food was being placed in front of them when Jihyo finally walked between the doors on the place with a stressed expression clear on her features; neither of the foreign said something when the shorter took the empty seat beside them dropping an exaggerated exhale making they know she actually tired.
-What's up now, huh? - Mina wondered placing the fork beside her plate filled with pasta.
-Momo, didn't you tell her?- Jihyo gasped in amaze looking at the dark haired girl who looked up with her cheeks already filled with food and her eyes wide like she just remembered something really important.- Why am i always the one that have to give the news?
-And the therapy- Momo added with a giggle making Jihyo narrow her eyes at her before turning to a then extremely confused Mina.
-Jiwoo cheated on Sooyoung- Jihyo dropped almost making Mina choke with her wine in amaze- Sooyoung found some messages this morning with the other girl... Heejin something i think, apparently she's Jiwoo's co-worker.
-What? - Mina blinked lowering her glass- How's Sooyoung?
Or course it wasn't the first time one of their friends was cheated on but the fact that it was Jiwoo who did it made Mina feel more surprised by it than what she was on the past, they seemed to love each other and even made her feel a little jealous about their relationship a few times, but not everything was what it seemed to be. Maybe moving together was a bigger step than what Jiwoo expected it to be, maybe things weren't working out as well as everybody thought they were and even when the idea crossed her mind Mina really couldn't think of her like a bad person because after all Jiwoo was still her friend as much as Sooyoung was.
Placing herself on that situation Mina couldn't even imagine what she would do if that happened to her then, How would she feel if Nayeon cheated on her?, that was a question the dancer never dared to think before that afternoon as she walked beside Jihyo on the large shop. Things weren't going as usual between them, and even when Mina wanted to ignore it for her own comfort there were issues that seemed to be pulling her apart from the lawyer everyday a little more. There was the fact that Nayeon seemed to be happy to take every new case that crossed the doors of her office even if it meant not seen Mina for the rest of the week, it had been weeks since the last time they even shared a meal together despite Mina's attempts to take her on a quick lunch. Nayeon always had something to do, somewhere to be, and maybe even somebody to see before going home to Mina.
-Why so serious? - Jihyo wondered looking directly at Mina who simply lifted her shoulders.
-The whole thing with Jiwoo made me think.- Mina said lifting a red dress to her eye level- What do you think about this one?
-Are you having trouble with Nayeon unnie?- Momo wondered lifting her eyes from the clothes in front of her to look at the blonde- Nayeon wouldn't cheat on you.
-Why do you think that? - Jihyo asked with a frown, Mina barely lifted her eyes to look at them for a quick second.
-Well she's been getting home really late this days, she says it's because of work but, every night?- Mina started softly keeping her voice low almost like she was ashamed to air her thoughts that way- And we... well it's been a long time since we... you know.
-So no , huh?- Jihyo said with a frown while Momo walked closer to them with a curious gaze.- That's weird considering this is Nayeon who we're talking about.
Mina opened to agree only a second before the sound of her phone inside her pocket distracted her, Nayeon's name lighted the screen almost like she knew they were talking about her, even when the thoughts running inside her head Mina couldn't fight the soft smile on her lips as soon as Nayeon's voice reached her from the other edge of the line
-Guess what baby? - Nayeon greeted and just by hearing her voice Mina could already picture the wide smile lighting her face.
-What? You won another case today? - Mina wondered walking a few steps away from her friends.
-Even better, you’re talking to the brand new member of Minster Lee's private team- Nayeon informed from the other side with clear excitement on her voice- We're celebrating tonight, okay? I'll buy wine so wait for me.
-That's amazing Nayeon! - The dancer sounded as happy as her girlfriend on the other side- How about we go out for dinner?
-That would be... Wait a second Baby- Nayeon started making Mina frown at the sudden interruption, she heard a woman's soft voice coming from the other side of the line a second before her girlfriend spoke again- Listen Mina i have to go back to work, okay? I'll see you tonight, i promise!
-I Lo...- Mina started before the call was ended.
"I love you" Mina thought.
The second time on the day, Mina's words passed by ignored. The dancer tried her best to ignore the fact that she was left on the middle of a sentence once again, like not even her words were important, but only one look on Jihyo's eyes and she knew there was something running inside the blonde's mind, like a big dark rain cloud forming over her head.
-She said we're celebrating tonight- Mina said with a soft smile placing her phone on her pocket again.
-Then you need a new dress! - Momo said in excitement making Mina giggle at her.
-Lets buy something short to spice things up- Jihyo teased making momo laugh at the ashamed gesture all over Mina's face.
It wasn't her original idea to get that much clothes that day and specially she did not plan on buying such a dress only to take dinner on her own apartment, guessing Nayeon would be too tired to go out after spending the whole day trapped inside her office Mina decided that it was going to be more comfortable for them if they spent the night on the comfort of their place. It had been a long time since they went on a real date or even had anything close to what the dancer was planning for them that night, looking at herself on the mirror Mina chuckled at her own reflection.
Standing in the middle of their hallway and dress with an fairly short white dress Mina couldn't help but feel a little ridiculous, her hair was straight and her lips coated with a shade of red she knew Nayeon couldn't resist, if her girlfriend still felt any kind of attraction to her Mina was going to make sure to take even the last drop of it that night. Lighted candles were over the carefully settled table with the plates and the cups already over it, Mina smiled to herself pleased by her own doing as she poured a generous amount of wine into her glass, and all she needed to do then was waiting.
Nayeon opened the door of the apartment in complete silence almost like she was a visitor on a strange place, dropping her keys on the table beside the door and her coat on the corner the lawyer made her way inside after finally taking the high heels from her feet. Once again, Nayeon was late and Mina was nowhere to find on the living room, the lawyer felt her heart drop when she spotted the wasted candles on their table and the way her girlfriend seemed to have taken her time to prepare the night for both of them.
-...- Nayeon whispered to herself closing her eyes shut as she gripped to the wine bottle on her right hand, the guilt boiling inside her.
Over the kitchen bar a covered plate waited for her with a bright yellow note pasted on it, Nayeon felt her chest heavy at the words clearly written by her girlfriend.
It wasn't like Nayeon actually got late on purpose, it was quite the opposite but she knew Mina wouldn't consider it that way, not because she wasn't understanding with her or she liked to fight her it was because that night wasn't the first time Nayeon did the same to her and the dancer was honestly at her limit then. Food wasn't something the lawyer was interested in as she walked pass the kitchen without even looking under the cover of her plate, her steps were slow as she walked to the shared bedroom, maybe because she didn't want to make noise or because she wasn't ready to face Mina just yet.
The door cracked a little when she opened it softly only giving a tempting step into their bedroom, the silence inside was the only thing welcoming her as her eyes looked around the wide empty room, not even a trace of Mina on the place. Nayeon felt like somebody pushed her directly on the stomach at the sight.
-Babe I'm home!- Nayeon called with a frown walking back to the hallway only to open the bathroom door right in front of their bedroom, equally empty.
Her steps became faster as she rushed towards the guest room door standing in front of it for a second as she took a deep breath before opening the white wooden door. The first thing her eyes caught was Mina's delicate back as she sat in front of the wide mirror on the opposite side of the room, even when Nayeon was clearly loud enough to make her presence known the Japanese didn't even move a muscle to look at her as she took a piece of cotton from her make up bag.
-Here you are, god you scared me- Nayeon said with a wide smile feeling the sudden adrenaline rush slowly disappearing, Mina didn't turn around to meet her even after the words.- Listen baby I know...
-Save it Nayeon- Mina said shortly, her tone cold as she leaned closer to her reflection as she slowly started to take off her make up.
Nayeon's eyes looked at her face with carefully taking every detail into consideration, she spotted the light shadow on her girlfriend's eyes and the blush perfectly applied on her cheeks until she finally reached her lips, her favorite. Mina didn't even need to say it for Nayeon to realize how much she actually prepared for that night; the unknown dress wrapped around her body told the lawyer everything she needed to know without a single word. If somebody could make Nayeon hesitate about her actions that was Mina and it was clear when the older slowly sat on the closer edge of the bed, still too away from her girlfriend for Nayeon's liking.
-I really tried Mina, the meeting got too long and then Minster lee invited us dinner i couldn't say no to my boss like that baby you know that would be rude- Nayeon started carefully with her eyebrows furrowed, Mina didn't answer as she erased the lipstick from her lips. - I'll make it up to you, I promise.
The word seemed to click something inside the dancer's brain because Nayeon immediately caught her eyes on the mirror, Mina was rarely mad at her but Nayeon knew than when she did get pissed then she had a very little rate of chances to win the argue she knew was ahead.
-Don't bull me again Nayeon- Mina spitted dropping the cotton to the can beside the desk, her voice was barely a tone louder. - Are you cheating on me?
Nayeon blinked in amaze feeling the usually soft hazel eyes burning her with their stare, she opened yet the words didn't come up immediately, Did Mina really trust her that little?
-Do you think I'm stupid Nayeon? It's ing Midnight and you're here telling me you're late because your stupid boss invited his team for a meal- Mina dropped still looking at Nayeon from the mirror.
-I'm not a cheater Mina, you should know that better than anyone-Nayeon defended herself, she felt her chest heavy at the accusation.- I never knew you thought of me that way.
-You act that way-Mina said simply before standing up from her chair.
Now that she was standing Nayeon couldn't help but look at the dress she was wearing immediately noticing it was something she hadn't seen before, her hand pushed her hair back as she looked at the serious expression on Mina's face, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the desk to look down at Nayeon who didn't dare to stand up as well. It was the only version of Mina the lawyer hated deeply, the one that built a wall around her that not even Nayeon knew how to break to reach her.
-I don't want to listen to you tonight Nayeon, honestly i can't even look at you- The dancer spoke again breaking the tense silence that floated between them, Nayeon eyebrow's furrowed deeper.- Sleep on the other room, or on the couch, or wherever the you please as long as I'm not there.
-Are you breaking up with me? - Nayeon said softly, her voice coming up shakily clearly afraid of the answer. Mina saw how the round eyes filled with tears right in front of her.
-Should I?- Mina hummed before turning to pick her sleep clothes from the desk on her back, she heard Nayeon's shaky sob fill the air after her words.
Moments like those were harder for Mina than what it seemed, despite there were no tears on her face she did felt her chest ache at her girlfriend's crying, especially when she knew Nayeon was crying for her. Yet there was a thing that Mina had extremely clear and it was the only thing holding her from pulling Nayeon to her embrace and telling her she was forgiven, and that was the fact that Nayeon did that to herself. Mina respected herself too much to start acting like a desperate housewife waiting for her husband to come back for work only to treat her like she was a maid, the way she felt seating on the middle of that living room that night looking how the candles melted in front of her with not sight of her girlfriend was the most disgusting thing Mina had felt in a long time.
-We can work it out baby, it was just a night you could just let it slip...- Nayeon started taking between quiet sobs. - It's not that bad Mina.
-Just a night Nayeon? - Mina spitted turning around, her soft voice was gone as she looked at Nayeon standing straight- When was the last time you got home for dinner? or even better, When was the last time you walked in here to find me awake?- Nayeon didn't answer yet she forced herself to look at the dancer's eyes.- And you dare to say It's not that bad for sakes Nayeon, you where the one that called me and asked me to wait for you!- Nayeon's eyes grew wider when she heard her screaming, Mina never yelled specially not at her- I sat there like the perfect idiot waiting for you for two ing hours!
-But it wasn't my fault...- Nayeon tried looking how the tears started to roll down Mina's pale cheeks.
-Of course it was!- Mina felt her hands shake when she harshly dried her own tears- You weren't forced to go to that ing dinner Nayeon, you could have told them I was waiting, you could have called me!- Nayeon seemed to become tinier the louder her voice echoed against the walls.- How the do you think i felt?- Mina waited a second no giving her any chance to answer- You probably don't know or if you do you don't give a single , that's clear.
-Please stop screaming- Nayeon almost whispered making Mina's heart squeeze at how weak she sounded. - I do care Mina, I love you.
-Then why aren't you showing it?- Mina said giving an step back, tears still rolling down her face as she cried- You're not trying Nayeon, you left me to be on a relationship alone and that's not how this works.
The silence floated between them after those words, Nayeon couldn't even look at her anymore and instead she focused her eyes on her own hands gripping the edge of her silk blouse, she knew Mina was right and that was maybe the worst part of the whole thing. No matter how much Nayeon did love her, if she didn't do anything to show it then there was no way the dancer could still feel like it. The lawyer couldn't really point the moment when things started to change but she definitely never thought it was affecting Mina so deeply.
-Leave Nayeon- Mina said with a cold tone, like she was talking to a complete Stanger.
Maybe that was what Nayeon had turned into.
-I don't want to sleep without you.- Nayeon admitted
looking up to look at her crying girlfriend, maybe if she could hold her close, maybe if she allowed her to kiss her Nayeon could make her feel how much her heart rushed for her.
-That's not my problem, leave- Mina said with a sob.
Nayeon felt defeated when she finally took the time to stand from the mattress, her legs weak as she looked up at Mina for a few seconds before starting to walk to the door, she could feel her steps following her as she did and for a short second Nayeon thought she was forgiven, that Mina was going to hold her like every other night and that the fight was going to be left behind yet it didn't happen. When Nayeon crossed the doorway Mina stood by the door, their teary eyes met each other yearning for something neither of them knew how to explain.
-I do love you Mina- Nayeon said weakly, her eyes on Mina's as the words left .
Another wave of silence crashed against them.
-Good Night Nayeon- Mina felt out simply.
The door was shut in front of her without further words; it was Nayeon's turn to be alone