Just as soon as it looked like they’d be torn apart, they were informed it would no longer be just the two of them. In fact, it was now going to be 7. Almost too easily they fell into their new roles. Caring after 5 other scared, excited, naive boys who looked to them for guidance in this brand-new chapter of their life.

They both came to the same conclusion separately. This was not just about them anymore; it was bigger than them. Five other boys had become indescribably knit into their lives. The seven of them were cemented together on a precarious bridge that they lay the bricks down for one day at a time. One person’s mistakes could destroy the whole structure. So for two people in the same group to consider something so risky? Unthinkable.

Words weren’t needed. One night at the dorms on a particularly rowdy night, as Jaebeom tried to coral the maknaes to bed and Jinyoung was reviewing Korean with Jackson and Mark, they made eye contact. Over the span of a few seconds, the two relayed all the love, the happiness and understanding between each other. And then, still locking gazes, they closed all those emotions tightly within themselves and made a promise to stay strong. When the tidal wave of rushing sorrow threatened to overflow, they broke their stare and went back to their respective tasks. If Jaebeom was a bit rougher in his demands the boys go to bed or Jinyoung’s sentences became shorter and more stilted, no one commented.

From that day the two settled into their new roles. Jinyoung could only watch from the safe distance he had created between them as Jaebeom painfully reconstructed himself to become a reliable leader, a supportive hyung and a responsible man. Even when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the broad shoulders that would come home drooping from bone deep exhaustion and the weight of the world, Jinyoung refrained. Instead he shifted into the caretaker role; making it his responsibility to take care of minute things that would otherwise have fallen on Jaebeom.

They still couldn’t resist the pull to be close though. Greedily they manipulated their time schedules to get their fixes of each other in any way they could now. This shaped into late night meetings more akin to those held by managers than two halves of one soul. Jinyoung would ramble about his latest attempts to make the boys eat vegetables and change underwear more frequently than once a week as Jaebeom sat on the other side of the table behind a mound of paperwork tiredly working on their next schedule preparations. On the particularly difficult days, Jinyoung would confidently recount every improvement and success they’ve had so far as Jaebeom sat rigid, breathe straining as he struggled to control the tsunami of fear and frustration within.

Everything was easier when Jinyoung was there. Jaebeom could breathe again once his voice penetrated the fog of impending failure, wrapping around him soothingly. Jinyoung was there, ready to play the sounding board when Jaebeom’s frustrations with any of the members or the company reached a tipping point. Oftentimes he felt selfish, taking so much, relying so much on the younger – not knowing how much his mere presence was the strength Jinyoung needed to grow and come fully into himself.

And so, they went on with this careful dance. Keeping the embers warm at the hearth all the while meticulously caging it to remain a soft glow and never catch flame.

Of course, it was impossible to live with five other rambunctious, talented, intelligent people and keep anything a secret.

Youngjae, with his all too open face and inability to filter what came out of his mouth was absolutely flabbergasted when Jaebeom settled the rooming pairs and put himself with the leader. It was almost funny – the way he gaped as he rapidly shifted his gaze from Jaebeom on one side of the room to Jinyoung on the other.

Jackson, ever the meddler, constantly pushed the two together. Even resorting to “accidentally” locking them in various small rooms until a very angry Jaebeom had almost thrown a punch at him.

The maknaes for their part never made any overt actions like that. However, their painfully hopeful eyes every time JJP had to work together during public events or even at home when it was their turn to do the dishes were possibly even worse. The clear parental roles Jaebeom and Jinyoung had adopted backfired on them as the youngest members started to attach themselves in order to fill any homesickness they were fighting. Eomma and Appa had to be a unified front to keep the babies happy.

Even Mark, who strayed clear of any drama had attempted to sit the two down separately and talk. The talks had not gone well. Jaebeom had thrown his glass across the room, smashing it against the opposite wall; looking for all the world like he was close to shattering into as many pieces now adorned the floor. Jinyoung had actually broken down, crumpling with a shout of, “do you think this is how we want it?”

The members slowly stopped their attempts at trying to make sense of the knots they’d tied themselves into. Instead they relegated any actions to just sad looks that Jaeboem and Jinyoung became experts at avoiding. They also became the best support either could have asked for; lending a strong shoulder, comforting hug and understanding ear when the two had to retreat for bit. These were the times when Jinyoung and Jaebeom get a little too close, a little too obviously fond and the house of cards they’d built started to shake from the storm brewing within.

However, after several years of this song and dance everyone had stopped feeling sorrow. Not because the obvious connection between the two had lessened by any means, but rather because any sadness had been replaced by a shifting feeling of anticipation. Something was coming and it was going to be the change they hadn’t even know they were waiting for. As time passed, the feeling propelled Jinyoung and Jaebeom to be more and more brave in their overtures, becoming more and more comfortable with showing tokens of affection and slowly melding back the pieces they had been withholding from each other.