you'll have to trust me

my heart and this night (makes this game flicker)

8.9k w/o the author's note. Enjoy!


 

“—Because I thought ahead of time that you wouldn’t really appreciate things like these.” Oh, not this again, she sighs. “But I also wanted it to be genuine and not just hide behind some screen so here I am, I guess…”

Joohyun tries her best not to let out the fattest impassive sigh she could muster and reminds herself not to start pinching the space between the bridge of her nose—a mean habit that she has adopted since she ultimately found herself on the losing side of the professor lottery. 

Professor Kim is nothing short of trouble, a difficult middle-aged woman teaching an otherwise easy subject, and Joohyun, as well as the thirty-nine others in her class, just attributed her perpetually cranky attitude that terrorized their Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to her being single even at her age. Which is, in fact, not wrong, but Joohyun might just as well still be guilty of all that derisive stigma on single middle-aged women that has been perpetuated in society ever since her childhood.

The professor is not particularly as stringent with her as she is to the other half of the class, but she still makes Joohyun’s bones rattle whenever she bombards the class with a surprise graded recitation on the law and you absolutely cannot stutter while doing so. Joohyun just couldn’t handle that much stress and anxiety in her brain that her headaches started getting worse. That was how the nose pinching came about. Or rather, rubbing the inner corners of her eyes.

She tries her best to smile despite.

She doesn’t know if Kim Junmyeon has ever heard the news that she definitely does not play for his team despite what the other males have been yapping about her. For all she knows they could still be deluding themselves with the idea that she might still go out with them—please, Joohyun doesn’t even go out with women that much to begin with and she plays for their team. He must have thought her acknowledging him and knowing his name meant that she took some fancy to him somehow; after all, she did get caught eyeing Park Chanyeol down the Liberal Arts & Sciences building across when she was still trying to figure out who the guy is. But the truth is that Joohyun just once got paired with him during a presentation and it’s hard not to get acquainted when both your grades are at stake.

He’s a good guy though, he is. That much she knows from the reddening state of his cheeks and ears while he rubs on his neck sheepishly while coming up with the most painful asking-out proposal a girl like her could ever have the displeasure to hear.

“What I’m trying to say is that… will you eat lun—”

A flash of short brown hair catches her eye, exiting one of the faculty offices with quick bows to whoever is inside and Joohyun’s eyes widen right at that moment. She thinks she might have just given the guy yet another reason to cling to a false semblance of hope with that reaction. Just behind Junmyeon’s shoulder, on the other side of the atrium, is her roommate.

“I’m sorry. I already have plans.” And with that, Joohyun was away in a flash, leaving the poor guy to gape on his own words with a half-protest in the air somewhat.

Just what is her plan, really? It is odd enough to see the girl in her own building out of all places, and it is even odder that she had actually plucked up the courage to will her feet to the other. The things that have happened between them in the past week would have made Joohyun think it was wiser not to make the first move until she is certain there wouldn’t be any more judgement sent her way. After all, Seungwan had been upset with her after her monumental bluff last Thursday, pouting and frowning while pulling the covers over her head and facing the other side of her bed.

It was no secret that Seungwan was upset by her rash actions that night. It was obvious in the way she just painfully smiled at Joohyun in the following days, not even roping her into a confrontation that the woman doesn’t really like but would have sat through patiently if Seungwan wanted it. Joohyun herself had been bothered, too, confused and annoyed, but it was mostly because she didn’t understand what her fault was in the entire ordeal.

And after taking the silent period between them to reflect, often at night when Seungwan was already asleep and facing away from her, she had come to a conclusion. She had unknowingly hurt her roommate. This much she knows because of the circumstances that preceded it. Joohyun had pulled such a good stunt that she ended up lying to Seungwan as well and making her feel like a total fool. And Joohyun understood her, because she, too, would be livid if she was played like that.

Then that explained the apprehension. That explained the coldness and the silence. That explained the distance.

But Bae Joohyun would be a fool to think that all of that matters when it comes to Son Seungwan. It doesn’t.

“Seungwan.” The call comes off more breathless than she expected it to be, said in between a slightly gaping mouth and confusion etched all over her face. Joohyun now stands in front of her, not really knowing when she had gone from the other side of the building to the one in front of her roommate.

The look on Seungwan’s face is not really one of displeasure. It is more of a shock, and then confusion, and then there are several more unreadable emotions that flashes onto her face when it starts to dawn on her just what this encounter entails for the both of them.

“Unnie,” the response is short, but more unsure and shy than it is curt.

Joohyun notices the couple of thick books clutched in her arm and the leather strap sling bag dangling a bit precariously on her shoulder, whereas she herself had only brought the A5 manual for Crim Proc and a black ballpoint pen in her pocket. It is only right for her to reach out and offer a hand despite the clear objection of the other.

“Joohyun, it’s fine—”

She has taken the books anyway, placing her manual on top and hugging it to the side of her flank resolutely.

Seungwan sighs, because she knows that once Joohyun sets her mind to something, there is nothing much to do about it anymore. The woman always wins.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” It is rare for Joohyun to be the one initiating conversations that are bound to be awkward and tense. She often just kept quiet most of the time – opting to observe people and only engaging when it is safe terrain already. That way there is almost no room for error or judgment.

But this is Son Seungwan, her roommate for three semesters and her friend for even less than that, and the girl has always had a bit of a problem with judgment (particularly towards Joohyun) so, to hell with it.

They walk side by side now and Seungwan has taken a certain liking to arranging her obviously pristine bag and its contents after having adjusted its strap. Joohyun tries not to frown so much at the clear diversion.

“Oh… yeah. I was at Professor Hwang’s office,” she answers after a while, finally giving up on pretending she is actually working on something that is otherwise clean and just lets her arms fall to her sides tiredly. Joohyun wonders if the exhaustion is because she has to deal with her, or if it is actually the dark circles under her eyes that have been covered by concealer.

“What for?”

“Legal Med. He’s… not very amenable to student requests, apparently.” Seungwan lets out an airy breath of what seems like a tired chuckle. Joohyun will take what she can get.

“I can talk to him for you,” is what she comes up with on a whim, not knowing where the hell that came from. Even Seungwan is surprised at the random offer, looking at her for the first time since Joohyun so unwelcomingly (or was it?) cornered her. “Just tell me what you need,” she supplies.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” Her roommate waves it away with another light laugh, pulling her eyes away much to Joohyun’s dismay. “I guess I’m just being a little bit of a brat asking for him to reshuffle my group members. It’s just… I’m not particularly fond of those I’m with. They make me do half, if not all the work.”

Joohyun almost wants to wrap her hand around Seungwan’s wrist tightly and drag her back to the professor’s office so they can both give the man two pieces of their minds, but they have already reached the stairs leading them to the second floor.

Which is not that far really, but Seungwan doesn’t seem like she wants to fight for it.

Joohyun does though. Because that is just unfair.

“And you told him that?” she asks the girl once they reach the flight of stairs and hover around idly courtesy of Joohyun’s hesitance. A displeased frown has marred itself on her face at such irresponsibility of the woman’s members. She would know that Seungwan works her off almost every night just to meet (and perhaps also exceed) other’s expectations of her, or maybe even her own. The least she deserves is to have a little bit of leniency for that.

“Just that.” Seungwan smiles slightly, albeit tired. “I didn’t have the heart to sound demanding. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t take, really. I’m quite used to it by now.”

“Bull.” The words leave Joohyun’s lips before she can even put a stopper on it, surprising both her and the woman in front of her who has taken a relaxed stance against the wall. And then Joohyun realizes just how misplaced the context had been so she further reiterates her point. “Your team members are full of bull.”

And, for reasons completely unbeknownst to her, Seungwan actually giggles. And it confuses Joohyun even more.

But it also makes her put her mind to something else entirely, and she hopes that it might just work.

“I can help you, if you want,” Joohyun offers again once they are walking down the stairs in slow ambles. “Whatever it is that you need help with. And considering how you just spoke of your members earlier, I would assume that you direly want it.” She slips in a smile to that effect, glancing sideways at her roommate who seems to be less high strung than she was earlier.

And it actually makes Joohyun happy. Progress, it is progress. She still hasn’t broached the sensitive topic of her pride and the other’s constant judgment towards her, but it is progress.

She figures that she cherishes Seungwan enough not to let her pride get in the way of their friendship – that she actually looks forward to a time when her idiosyncrasies are more welcomed than they are judged, or that Seungwan realizes that Joohyun isn’t inherently dubious; she just has her way of dealing with things.

Ways that are never an excuse for any manipulative tactic that gets used outside of the court, but if there is one thing Joohyun just can’t seem to shake off her after growing up in a family full of lawyers and businessmen who, more often than not, share the same kind of moral compass—it’s that sometimes, people just have to do the extremes to protect those that they want to protect.

And Joohyun had wanted to protect Seungwan.

“I think I could use the help, yeah…” The short-haired brunette lets out another airy laugh and sighs when they finally reach the ground floor of the building. “If you don’t mind, of course. I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Seungwan, I made the offer.” Joohyun can’t help but smile amusedly at her. “And no worries. There are six weeks left until finals and they’re already reducing our workload to prepare us for internships. I’ve got more time on my hands than you think I do.”

“Oh, that explains why you’ve been hanging at the dorm a lot… doing nothing.” It sounds like the closest thing to their old banter when Seungwan says it. And to her utter glee, albeit concealed, Joohyun does see a small smile tickle on the side of the girl’s lips where she thinks the other cannot see. “Though I can’t say I’m actually fond of it. You hover. Annoyingly, at that.”

“Well, at least I don’t give you a hard time by being rambunctious.”

“Please, as if you don’t prank me enough.”

“I don’t. Not anymore now that we don’t really talk to each other.”

They both halt their footsteps just outside of the Law building, both of their bodies somehow drawn to each other at the same exact second. Joohyun has a rather soft expectancy to her eyes that begs Seungwan to acknowledge it so they can finally rip the Band-Aid off. Her roommate just looks sheepish, a slight apology in her eyes, but there is still a kind of tenacity between them that tells Joohyun she hasn’t really forgotten about the problem at hand despite having forgiven her for it.

They have both come to cherish each other too much to let their differences get in the way. Joohyun would like to think that.

“I’m not apologizing for my actions to your ex, by the way,” Joohyun cuts through the silence decidedly. “He was an , and I’m not sorry that I think he deserved it. But I do acknowledge that I acted arbitrarily and didn’t take your feelings into account at that moment, so… that, I am sorry for.”

It is new. Bae Joohyun, admitting her fault? Sooyoung and Yerim would snort the sodas right off their noses and look at her like she’s grown another head. Jennie would be probably more lenient, seeing as she is the only person who ever got to hear an apology from the woman that wasn’t done in her usual roundabout fashion. And to top it off, Bae Joohyun, initiating a confrontation right from her own mouth? Giving two s about what someone thinks of her and determines to prove them wrong?

The gods must have smiled at whoever got to receive the end of Joohyun’s exceptions. They must have been a saint, or an angel in their past life to warrant such.

But looking at Son Seungwan, noontide sunshine painting amber hues onto her otherwise chestnut hair with eyes smiling what looks like unmistakable sincerity and tenderness… Joohyun thinks; she might as well have been all of those things.

“I won’t do it again,” is what Joohyun promises her, lips pursed tightly mainly because the words still seem foreign to her own lips. “Overlooking you, I mean. The other, not so sure yet. I don’t think I’m anywhere close to changing parts of myself that I’ve carried with me since childhood.”

“I understand,” Seungwan finally speaks for the first time since they exited the white boxed building and Joohyun’s ears would tingle at the tenderness that her voice adopts. “But I won’t tell you that you don’t have anything to explain to me because I really need some explaining, Joohyun. If we’re ever going to be…” She gestures aimlessly to whatever and Joohyun does not understand that. “Close, or something. I’d like to know what I’m signing up for.”

“Why do you make it sound like I’m some kind of murderer? I’m not.” Joohyun laughs mildly at the other’s wordings. “Neither am I borderline psychopathic or compulsively manipulative, and you can’t tell me you haven’t been thinking otherwise because I definitely see you watching a lot of Psych2Go videos lately when you think I can’t notice.”

Seungwan’s agape mouth promptly closes in the middle of its retort, her face blushing furiously. It only makes Joohyun smile.

“I know that it’s a bit… hard. I’m a bit hard to take in, admittedly. With all my contradictions and all that.” Joohyun laughs lightly, and she is actually surprised to find Seungwan staring at her hardly like she doesn’t share the same sentiment. It makes her happy to see it though, realizing that maybe the extent of Seungwan’s judgment isn’t really as bad as she thinks it is. Maybe it is just her wounded pride. “After all, now that I think about it, I haven’t really given you a good reason to trust me.”

Seungwan is now quick to grab her hand, her hold firm and decisive, her eyes even more ardent. It takes Joohyun aback. “You have,” she says, squeezing their fingers in that same intimate touch that was deprived of her for a week. “You have.”

Joohyun just easily smiles and squeezes Seungwan’s hand back, flexing her fingers as an invitation to whoever wants to slip theirs in. Particularly a certain brunette who is already halfway to doing it anyways. Seungwan finds the invitation just as drawing as she does, because she easily slots their fingers together in that way that makes Joohyun calm at the same time warm.

“But not fully,” she says meaningfully. “Games and karaoke can only do so much, but to gaslight your ex in a pub where fifty other people are watching, also lying to you in the process, and not to mention you still think I’m gonna jump Seulgi’s bones anytime…” Joohyun tries not to wince at the growing list. “The scale just naturally skews.”

Her roommate just looks at her, mirth and easy surrender spilling out of her eyes, because Joohyun knows herself and other people far too well to be a fool.

“So we’ll talk about it all you want later, at the dorm,” Joohyun promises with finality. Oh, she would be a fool to dive into foreign waters like this. “It’s time for us to bite the bullet, don’t you think?”

“You’re right. That sounds good.” Her roommate easily nods with a smile that Joohyun shares with her. She didn’t realize she had missed the girl’s smile this much.

“But for now, do you want to grab lunch?” she decides to ask since they’re already here. “I totally just didn’t turn down a guy’s offer on a whim because I saw you five feet away. And I’ve been dying to cash out that bomb coupon at that tteokbokki restaurant for a week now.”

Seungwan laughs. It is joy. “And you couldn’t have cashed it out yourself? You always said food is better when it’s free. Nobody would have stopped you.”

Joohyun is already dragging her by the hand to the gates by the moment she responds, throwing a grin over her shoulder as they walk. 

“Yeah, but I promised somebody I would treat her better next time. So right now it’s me, making it free. And right here is you,” she pulls on the girl’s hand so they are arm to arm. “Making it better.”

Seungwan profusely blushes. Joohyun happily laughs.

Yeah, she would be a fool for Seungwan.

 

-

 

Joohyun hums at the slow lulling of her consciousness into sleep, dipping far too low, threatening to fall right into the open arms of slumber but she still has to prepare for a presentation of a case study tomorrow morning. She appreciates it though. Seungwan is trying to talk to her to fill the silence, but what is supposed to be a noise loud enough to keep her awake only seems to be a comforting and calming lullaby that pushes her further into the depths of unconsciousness.

And it also doesn’t help that Seungwan is currently massaging the corners of her eyes with her fingers that glide to a bracket turn over her eyebrows, then onto her temples where they do a clean Biellmann spin. Joohyun doesn’t know jack about figure skating but she figures the random thoughts are because she might’ve watched a recommended video on Youtube about it a while ago.

“Is she really that bad? I mean, it seems like her discipline might come in handy one day, when you actually get yourself on a case.”

They are on Joohyun’s bed, her head taking refuge on a pillow that is resting over Seungwan’s lap. Her roommate is leaning over her upside-down face with her fingers on her skin, soft and calming, but she has her eyes closed so she can’t see whatever look the other is sporting right now.

“She is the cause of my headaches,” Joohyun groggily mumbles and hums gutturally because Seungwan is just so good at massaging the aforementioned headaches away it is almost criminal. Ha, Criminal Procedure. Professor Kim. Her head pounds again.

“There, there.” Seungwan pats her temple comfortingly and Joohyun thinks she might’ve heard a smile there. “You know, if it’s any consolation…” she starts almost shyly. “I once had a professor who terrified me to my bones, I literally peed on myself. And it was during a practical exam,” she shares with an embarrassed chuckle that has Joohyun opening her eyes slightly to see the small blush that adorns her cheeks.

Upon seeing that Joohyun’s eyes are pried half open, Seungwan smiles at her and resumes her welcome deed.

“Why would I ever find consolation in your humiliating encounters?” Joohyun vocalizes amusedly, to which Seungwan chuckles. “But okay. Tell me about it, did anyone ever find out?”

“One guy did, and then Seulgi. The guy only found out because he came out after me and I was still shaken to my wits’ end that somebody might have noticed. So I came clean.”

“How did he take it?”

“Pretty well. He was actually more surprised that I didn’t myself.” Seungwan giggles at the memory fondly and Joohyun finds herself smiling. “The professor was so terrifying, but at the end of the day I’m actually thankful that I got to be mentored by him. He really toughened us up. It’s inevitable that you’ll come across rude patients and their families one day, so I think he deliberately instilled a lot of courage in us to face those situations.”

Joohyun takes her rambling as a chance to study Seungwan’s features above her. Upside-down, the girl’s layered short hair falls onto a thin curtain on the sides of her face, the feather-light ends tickling Joohyun’s cheeks gingerly. Seungwan has always been beautiful to Joohyun. It has never been a secret.

A thick lock of hair slips past the ear that it had been tucked behind and it lands a bit unceremoniously on Joohyun’s nose.

Seungwan smells of strawberries and Argan crème. A very pleasant and feminine scent that wafts through Joohyun’s nostrils delightfully before the girl gasps and fixes her hair back again. Joohyun is sure she wouldn’t have minded.

“Are you sure he’s not just a single middle-aged man who hasn’t gotten laid in ages?”

Seungwan laughs loudly. It is music.

“Okay, now scoot, woman. My back hurts. I’m not trying to have a sore back before students’ week,” her roommate fusses at her after finishing the little massage with a gentle pinch of Joohyun’s nose bridge. If Joohyun didn’t know any better, she’d actually think Seungwan did it cutely.

Seungwan, my head still hurts.” It comes out whinier than Joohyun expected it to, and normally she would have taken a second to be shy about that, but Seungwan is already pulling her legs from under the pillow she is laying on, causing a pout to grace her lips subconsciously.

“Hey, that’s unfair, unnie. That is so unfair.”

“What is?” Joohyun sits up to rearrange the pillows back on their rightful places, patting on the fluffy material.

“That.” Seungwan points ineffectually to her face. Joohyun quirks an eyebrow.

“This? My face? You know, if you were trying to compliment me, you should’ve made it clearer so I’d get it.”

Seungwan turns red and rather flustered. And then she huffs snobbishly.

Ah, Seungwan-ah,” Joohyun whines again when the girl makes a move to turn away from her, shaking her body slightly with her protests. “My head, my head—ah. Ouch. Seungwannie.”

It takes several more seconds of her deliberate childish whining until Seungwan lets out a small groan in what seems like surrender.

“Ugh! What am I going to do with you, unnie?”

Joohyun tries not to grin too happily when her roommate slides back into her bed in grumbles, even though there is a huge pout on the younger’s face while doing so. Seungwan makes a “shoo, scoot over” motion with her hands, and completely takes Joohyun by surprise when she chooses to lay next to her sideways. Too close. She is too close.

“This way my back won’t hurt,” is what Seungwan tells her just in case she is confused by the situation, which she is, actually, but it isn’t really anything drastic. After all, they did wake up one time drunkenly cuddling each other.

Except that this time they are both completely sober. And Joohyun can actually smell all of Seungwan in a close proximity, which is both appealing and appalling at the same time.

Whatever. It’s not like they’re cuddling anyways.

“Come closer.”

“Eh?” Joohyun’s eyes are wide and she can feel her ears heating up at the request. Seungwan is just looking at her expectantly. As if we aren’t already close enough?

“I’m going to massage your head, unnie. Come closer.”

Joohyun shoots her a quizzical look and Seungwan sighs.

“I’m not going to bite.”

She must have donned a suggestive look on her face by reflex at the statement, because it grants her a gentle smack on the arm by her roommate.

This is not really what she expected to come about after all her whining. She just wished Seungwan would continue her administrations of feel good head massages, not a closely flustering proximity where if she moves a limb she might end up tangling legs with her roommate.

Joohyun’s eyes are darting around in alertness the moment she feels Seungwan’s soft breathing over her forehead. The other girl’s fingers from her other hand cross over to gently start their deed. And as expected, Joohyun’s eyes immediately take to fluttering close with every satisfying pressure. Seungwan’s touch is so soft; her scent is so intoxicatingly pleasant that it makes Joohyun sniff it almost greedily. There is a slight humming from the younger girl as she continues her treatment and Joohyun remembers the karaoke night.

“Sing for me.” The request is out before Joohyun can even think it over. She’s been doing a lot of that lately around the other girl. Not thinking, she means. At least, not in the way that she used to. It is odd.

“Sing… sing for you?” Seungwan seems equally as confused and Joohyun doesn’t open her eyes so it doesn’t get awkward.

“Mhm…” She scratches her toe against the other’s leg just above her foot. “I don’t mind the noise, but I also don’t want you to just hum.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to sing.” Seungwan must have found her toe scratching bothersome or whatever, because she crosses her leg instead over Joohyun’s and consequently halts the movement. She keeps it there.

“Just whatever that has been on your mind lately.”

Seungwan takes a moment of silence. Nearly a good minute, actually, and Joohyun is convinced that the girl would just brush it away and decline – which would have been fine nevertheless but she’d admittedly be a little bit bummed.

“Oh, okay. There’s this song…” If Joohyun didn’t know any better, she’d have thought Seungwan almost sounded shy. “I don’t know if it’s your type though.”

“I don’t really care for the song. Whenever you’re ready.”

Her roommate just giggles and takes a deep breath afterwards. Seungwan is a great singer, that much Joohyun knows from their impromptu karaoke session where she found that the girl can still sound so beautiful despite her broken notes. It made her think that maybe one of these days she will get to hear Seungwan’s voice when she truthfully puts her heart into it. And then she will find it equally as beautiful, if not more. They have a lot of time in their hands anyways.

But for now, Joohyun oscillates between wakefulness and sleep, Seungwan’s fingers on her forehead, her sweet smell in her nostrils, her warmth radiating against her skin, and her voice in her ears.

Baby girl, you’re my Irene, you’re my baby. You’re my flower, you’re my everything…”

And two hours later, Joohyun would wake up to find out that they had napped next to each other. Her own cheeks would burn beet red at their proximity, Seungwan’s eyes would move behind her eyelids like she’s dreaming, and she would find that staring at Seungwan’s sleeping serenity is a thousand times better than dreaming any dream.

 

-

 

“JOOHYUN UNNIE!”

Her eyes blink at the block of text that she has been reading on her laptop screen at the noise, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion to the loud call. What on Earth? She is about to pull her focused gaze away to check what it is about when she feels someone grab her by the arms and prompt her attention a bit too forcibly.

Joohyun halts with wide eyes, and takes a moment to process the looming figure over her.

“… Sooyoung?” she asks.

“I CALLED DIBS!”

Her eyebrow quirks in confusion. Dibs? On what? They were calling dibs? Most of all, why is Sooyoung being so loud and fussy in a coffee shop? She sees a few of the people in the shared space look over at them nastily, obviously displeased by the commotion.

There is a shuffling of footsteps shortly after Sooyoung’s ostentatious entrance. Joohyun tilts her head to find a panting Yerim catching her breath by the table in front of the one she is occupying, just behind Sooyoung’s towering silhouette. Speaking of Sooyoung, the girl shakes her arms yet again and still has that intense stare in her eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Joohyun couldn’t be more unfazed by the sudden energy that is being thrown at her, though she could really appreciate the peace and quiet; also for the sake of the students who are also in the coffee shop.

Sooyoung’s hold on her arms finally relents but not without a dramatic dip of her head and a choked fake sob. “I trusted you, unnie…” she dramatizes with a shake of her head. She pulls away before Joohyun can even pry her hands off, making a show of wiping the nonexistent tears on her cheeks while Yerim has finally recovered from her shortness of breath.

“Yerim, what is Sooyoung talking about?” Joohyun decides to ask the saner of the two, albeit not any better when it comes to dramatic episodes and mischief. But it seems like Yerim is the more reasonable one today, seeing as she is still calming down from what seems like an intense marathon chasing after the older girl. The sophomore Music Technology major’s cheeks are flushed and kissed with light perspiration.

“She’s been…” Yerim takes another deep breath and huffs it out with finality. “She’s heartbroken.”

Joohyun blinks. “And what does that have to do with me?” She brings her attention back to the other girl. “And I didn’t know you were dating someone, Sooyoung. I would have said my congratulations in order but now I’m not so sure anymore.”

Sooyoung whips her head to her with a glare. 

“You broke my heart!” she accuses a bit intensely.

“Wait… what?” Joohyun is getting annoyed now. She never likes it when she is being toyed or dragged around in circles. She just wants to get over with it already. Plain and simple. “Can we stop speaking in riddles? What is going on?”

“I called dibs on Seungwan unnie!” is what Sooyoung finally cries, and it renders Joohyun speechless. 

She did what? She really couldn’t care less about what Sooyoung does with her dating life since the girl is old enough to make her own decisions but… Seungwan? She did what on Seungwan?

A mean frown has splayed itself on Joohyun’s lips subconsciously the more it sinks into her. She has always known that Sooyoung has taken a particular liking to her roommate but she also thought it was just a silly crush. After all, who wouldn’t? Seungwan is like a breath of fresh air from the monotony of the same old stereotypes of college students – either heavily stressed or uncharacteristically dressed to impress. She is nice and soft and pretty, smart and well-spoken with just the right balance of charismatic and shy. Joohyun is actually more confused that there is a longer line of suitors for her than the other girl. She knows it in herself that Seungwan, with her bright smiles and warm personality that never waver even when tested, deserve the reverence a thousand times more.

But Sooyoung? Sooyoung?

Joohyun’s head starts to bubble with annoyance the more she thinks about it. It’s not that she dislikes or doesn’t trust the girl to treat Seungwan nicely. Actually, Sooyoung is a very charismatic character of her own too – a satisfying balance between aloof and sensitive, protective yet still respectful of people’s individual decisions. She is a good girl. A tough candidate.

Maybe it is precisely because Sooyoung is those things, that something tense sits hotly in Joohyun’s stomach at the idea. Why is she feeling like this? Sooyoung is not an enemy. There isn’t a fight.

Apparently has a different idea.

“No one is doing anything on Seungwan,” she bites out unintentionally but it is too late to remedy the sharpness of her tone. Yerim and Sooyoung both snap their heads to the sound in surprise. Even Sooyoung has dropped her theatrics and is now just looking at her with a slightly gaping mouth.

They should know better than to mess with Bae Joohyun when she speaks like that.

“Now if you girls have nothing better to do, please exit the coffee shop at once. I’m studying and you are disturbing the others.” Joohyun brings her eyes back to her laptop screen decisively when the two younger women just stare at her blankly. 

She just really wants to study. And stop thinking about the idea of Sooyoung and Seungwan. Please.

“U-Unnie…” Sooyoung tries to coo sweetly with an apology lacing her words. Joohyun’s eyebrow twitches but she keeps her eyes dead set on the screen. “Listen, I—”

“I’m studying. Leave.”

“Yikes,” she hears Yerim say under her breath before she hisses to the other girl, “You’re in big trouble, you dramatic oaf.”

“But I—”

“Go buy some coffee and pastries for us.” Yerim just grabs her wallet from her purse and shoves it inside Sooyoung’s hands quickly, fussing her away. She starts listing off her order and several others for her friends that should buy them enough time to conduct a peace talk. “Buy whatever you want. Go. Shoo. Now.” With a particular prod on the older girl’s shoulder, Sooyoung hurries away to the counter without further objections.

The youngest of the three decides to take a seat right across Joohyun, a slightly wary and apprehensive aura to her disposition as she continues to gauge the other’s state. Joohyun can’t see her behind the screen of her laptop but she’s always been rather perceptive to people’s mere energies. She knows Yerim is trying to alleviate the tense air and act as the mediator between the two.

“You don’t have to play spokesperson for her, Yerim,” Joohyun beats her to it without moving from her spot. Her focus has long gone out the window since their entrance and Sooyoung’s revelation but she also doesn’t want to let it show to the other two or else they’d find her disinterest as a reason to hang around. “She’s a grown woman,” she adds.

“Oh, don’t worry, unnie. I know that.” Yerim seems resigned now, actually. She just leans back on her seat and taps her nails on the varnished table. “What I didn’t know, however… is you and Seungwan unnie?”

There is a certain knowing lilt to the youngest girl’s voice that ultimately makes Joohyun lift her head up in confusion and meet her eyes across. As expected, Yerim is sporting an impish smirk on her lips as she challenges her gaze with her own. The girl has always been the closest equal to Joohyun between the two when it comes to personality and mindset. Their similarities make up for their staggering age difference. Looking at Yerim is like looking at a younger version of Joohyun herself.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” she asks just for the sake of it, even though she knows exactly what the younger is implying. 

Considering how they almost share the same thought process, Yerim obviously ends up quirking a skeptic eyebrow to her feint which makes Joohyun sigh.

“There is no ‘me and Seungwan’, Yerim. Do not be mistaken,” she clarifies with a muddled mind at the thought while looking back at her long-abandoned script. “She’s my roommate. I just feel somewhat responsible for your interactions with her.”

“Absolutely.” Yerim doesn’t seem convinced, however. “Don’t take Sooyoung unnie seriously though. I’m pretty sure she does half of those coddling because she wants to annoy you.”

“Annoy me? Why would I even be annoyed?”

Yerim gives her a bemused look that seems to scream at her, Do you even see yourself right now?

Joohyun sighs, shaking her head. She does feel annoyed. For whatever dumb reason she doesn’t know. Stupid. “Can we not talk about this? I’m trying to study.”

Still, Yerim doesn’t seem convinced at all. She is too smart for her own good. Thankfully, she lets it slide, probably to spare Joohyun the unease.

“What are you doing for students’ week, unnie?” she decides to ask this time, veering the conversation away from the tense air and seemingly sensitive topic of Seungwan. Joohyun lets out a sigh of relief at the digression. “It’s next week already.”

“Right.” Joohyun hums as she grabs her book to relocate it just to seem busy. “I don’t know. I’ll probably join the Amazing Race again.”

“And win again?”

“And win again.” Joohyun finally slips the first grin for the day which she sends to a smiling Yerim across, the girl nodding easily at her. “What about you guys?” she asks, quite interested now that they’ve started talking about university week. A week full of competitions both academic and non-academic for all college departments; a week where they all get to unclench from their studies and release the stress. An entire week for Joohyun to shine.

Plus, it would be more fun now that her circle has somehow extended to Seungwan and Seulgi. A small number of two, really, but it’s still an addition nonetheless. Joohyun starts to wonder what Seungwan would do during students’ week, if she would also join in on competitions, if Joohyun could watch her if she actually does.

“Unnie? Are you even listening to me?”

Right, she’s talking to Yerim.

“Um, what? Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Yerim rolls her eyes in good nature and something tells Joohyun she noticed her buffer, but she does as told nevertheless. 

“I’m probably gonna join the chorale competition,” she says. “Plus, there’s a songwriting one organized by the Music department so I’m joining that too.”

“That’s great, Yerim!” Joohyun grins, because it really is. “I’m sure you’re gonna win them all. Bet.”

Yerim has a shy smile on her face now, her cheeks flushing a pretty shade of pink on her youthful beauty. “Thanks, unnie,” she says. “Sooyoung is gonna play volleyball. She’s actually the third shortest in their team, can you believe?”

And of course, Joohyun doesn’t really hold grudges and Sooyoung is still one of her beloved children, so she laughs at that.

“Really?” she snickers, unable to imagine the idea of Sooyoung being the shortest somewhere. “And how does she feel about that?”

“Pretty ing .” It is now Sooyoung who speaks, arriving into the scene with the cardboard carriers in hand – two for the beverages and another two for the sweets. She shoves the sweets into Yerim’s hands without warning and makes the youngest girl jerk, immediately grabbing the material to keep it from denting or dislodging. She sends Sooyoung a dirty look at the act while Joohyun sends Sooyoung a dirty look at the crass language.

The giant just smiles sweetly down at Joohyun and extends her arms out for a hug. “Oh, my favorite unnie,” she starts to coo. “Shall we call a truce already? I love you.”

The oldest just gives her a bemused frown.

“Oh, come on, unnie. Don’t give me that look. Here.” Sooyoung pushes one of the coffee carriers into her bewildered hands and snaps her fingers at Yerim to stand up. The youngest girl just makes a face at her and mutters, “I’m not your dog,” but she complies anyway. Joohyun is still dumbfounded by the cardboard in her hands and the two cups that sit in it – one iced coffee and a strawberry and cream frappe both in venti.

“What is this, Sooyoung?” Joohyun dares to ask when she finally looks up at the girl, confusion still written on her face.

“For you. And Seungwan unnie.” The tallest grins less menacingly than how she had barged into the store. Joohyun can feel the corners of twitch again into a frown which makes the other woman shake her head fervently. “That’s my peace offering. Now please stop looking at me like you’re about to eat me down, unless you are into that—”

“Yuck, Sooyoung?!” Yerim hits her arm in protest at the remark, a shared repulsion by Joohyun whose face is now twisted in disgust. “Stop being gross.”

“Seconded.” Joohyun sets aside the beverages in the space behind her laptop where it is safe. “For Seungwan, huh?” She raises an eyebrow at the girl, her eyes intensely searching. She can already feel the nettles of annoyance poke at her sides again and she doesn’t like it one bit.

Why is she so annoyed?

“You should just drop it, Sooyoung. You know you can’t like Seungwan, right? She’s just gotten out of a breakup,” she says sternly, eyeing the girl with a glint in her eyes. “And you don’t even know if she likes girls or not. So please. Do not.”

Is that so? Sooyoung thinks to herself while looking meaningfully at Yerim who shares her glance. They both nod.

“Just give it to her, unnie. I don’t really care about that anymore. And enjoy your frappe. Yerim paid for all of those.”

“Hey!”

“Goodbye!”

With a particularly rough looping of one another’s arms, Sooyoung drags Yerim outside the coffee shop and leaves a still-bewildered Joohyun to simmer down from her conflicting feelings of annoyance, confusion, and relief. They didn’t even let her say bye.

Oh, well. She looks at the cardboard box and decides to cut her study out short so the coffee won’t be watered down by the time she gives it to Seungwan. She is not even halfway through the study material, but studying can always wait.

Outside, Sooyoung and Yerim scuttle away from the coffee shop huddled together with a knowingness that pulls both of their cheeks into mischievous smiles. They round the corner and start walking down the pavement away from Joohyun’s sight, facing each other as soon as they start the trail back to their off-campus dorm.

“You were right, Sooyoung…” Yerim almost sounds in disbelief. “Joohyun unnie’s gay-dar really .”

“I told you she’s a factory defect.” The other girl snorts and they both laugh.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, my friend?” Yerim asks suggestively, her eyebrows bouncing with the secretive glee that they both share with a cheesy grin.

“I am definitely thinking what you’re thinking, partner.”

 

-

 

By the time she comes back to the dormitory at six, Seungwan is looking at her with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. Joohyun looks back at her with equally the same kind of expression. is agape and the coffee carrier nearly slips past her feeble fingers before she steadies it with her other hand, body still pressed tightly against the front door of the dorm.

Her heart is suddenly beating so fast. Her cheeks are burning. She can’t speak.

Seungwan is only in a towel, fresh from the bath.

It has become an unspoken arrangement between them since the beginning that they should both shower and change in the bathroom in order to preserve the last tethers of privacy that they have in such a closed and small space. It has never posed a problem between the two of them; Seungwan shares the same idea with muted respect and Joohyun would go crazy if the last semblance of her individuality is taken away from her as well.

And yet here she is, going crazy.

No, not because her privacy in the bathroom has been compromised.

But because it is Seungwan’s, and she is standing in a goddamn towel that falls just above her knees in baby blue cotton and Joohyun can see her sharp collarbones and shoulders where the droplets of water fall from the ends of her wet hair and stick to her flushed skin fresh from the heat of the shower and oh god

“U-Unnie!” Seungwan squeaks out with a red face. “I didn’t know you’d be back so soon. I just—I… I’m just gonna…”

Good. So it isn’t only awkward and nerve-wracking on Joohyun’s end. Seungwan blinks several times to bring herself out of her shocked daze and turns around swiftly at once, probably to go and get changed as quickly as she can. Joohyun gets a glimpse of the back of her knees, those cream thighs that hollow out and oh my god

Seungwan wobbles over her legs and suddenly Joohyun has found herself in the most cliché romcoms in history. Her roommate shrieks, everything goes in slow motion, and the last thing she deliberately sees with her own eyes is how the woman’s towel starts to come off at an alarming speed. Oh, god, this must be a joke.

“Holy—!” Joohyun yells in panic as she diverts her body and gaze to the home décor painting on the side of the wall. It is a painting of fruits, particularly with the banana as the main perspective. “... Bananas.”

Yes, holy bananas. The banana looks really good right now. There totally isn’t a woman five feet away from her and tickling the side of her peripheral vision – no, she pivots her body even more so she is almost facing the door with wildly blushing cheeks.

And yes, the bananas look good.

“I’m—” Seungwan calls out from inside and it seems like she’s in a slight struggle. Rustling and light thuds of soft materials being thrown somewhere. Joohyun tries not to visualize so much and it doesn’t help that she’s quite imaginative. “I’m done, unnie! I’m decent,” she announces at last, and it’s almost like Joohyun has been given permission to breathe.

The room is silent and awkward when Joohyun finally steps over the threshold in her black socks. Seungwan is donned in her pajama shorts and oversized shirt that would have made her look extra cuddly if it weren’t for the flashback that runs through Joohyun’s mind at her sharp clavicles that are visible past the generous dip of her loose collar.

, what now?

“I…” Joohyun’s ears start to heat up as a sign of her being flustered. She should really stop thinking about Seungwan and the fat minute of seeing her just a towel away from being . What the hell, Joohyun? That’s so creepy.

Then she remembers the coffee. 

Thank you, Sooyoung.

“Right, um. I brought this,” she diverts the attention to the carrier that she raises with her hand. Seungwan looks at it inquisitively, still pretty much stirred at the previous events judging by the profuse blush that is still on her cheeks.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“Coffee, for you, apparently. From Sooyoung.” Joohyun hopes the bite to her voice wasn’t caught by the younger girl. She doesn’t even know why it is there in the first place. “Enjoy it while it’s still… not watered down. Or whatever.”

“Alright… You okay, unnie?”

“Hm?” Joohyun didn’t even realize that she was trying her best to avoid looking at Seungwan by pacing around the desk and her bed, hand on the back of her neck scratching away awkwardly.

“Oh… yes, I’m fine. Peachy. Of course.”

A warm hand suddenly wraps around her wrist and Joohyun’s heart immediately skyrockets to the bare minimum contact, her soul ascending through the roof. Unfortunately, this manifests as a hard jerk and unintentionally swatting Seungwan’s grip away with a panicked force, the skin that was touched by her roommate scalding hot with so many haywire feelings.

Joohyun cradles her wrist with burning cheeks and wide eyes looking at her roommate. Seungwan has also jerked back and now looks at her with wide eyes of her own, the accused hand pressed to her chest.

Wait, no— .

“No, Seungwan, I’m sorry… I—I didn’t mean to,” Joohyun apologizes quickly, cheeks still burning as she looks at the girl regretfully.

“I-It’s okay, unnie!” Seungwan seems jumpy as well, shaking her head vehemently as a reassurance. “I—coffee? Sooyoung? Um, yes… Where…”

Good God, this is so painful.

Joohyun sets up her laptop and books on the desk to pry her attention away from her roommate who is also awkwardly hovering and pacing around on the other side. Things were not supposed to go this way. Joohyun was supposed to come inside, Seungwan would be waiting for her with a warm smile as if she is actually happy that Joohyun is back (which is pretty damn convincing with how she looks at Joohyun like that and consequently makes the older girl’s throat dry out), and they would enjoy their night together like they always do – side by side, sometimes playing with their fingers, bantering and talking nonsense.

Now Joohyun is a blushing hot mess of wayward feelings that seem to scream at her to do something. What something? What should she do? Is there even anything to do?

She discreetly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear to spare a glance at her roommate, just to check what she is doing.

Seungwan is staring back at her.

Her soul jumps through the roof again.

, Bae Joohyun, get it together!

She presses her palm flat against her bone to try and calm the harsh beating of her heart against her chest. No. Behave. Behave.

“Hey…” a shy voice calls out into the silent air soothingly. Joohyun’s heartbeat both calms down and picks up its speed at the sound. How can that even be? “Unnie?”

“Yes?” She doesn’t look back, burning saucers onto her laptop screen. 

She can hear shuffling in her periphery, a plastic cup placed down on the desk next to her, and she has to grip the edge of her desk strongly when Seungwan touches her forearm and starts to slide her hand down to take her own. , ,

“Are you okay?” Seungwan asks, obviously closer now to her side. She is still not looking back. She absolutely won’t.

Seungwan starts to rub her knuckles with her thumb gently, soothingly, but it is only causing Joohyun’s stomach to somersault over itself and threaten to spill out her guts. Her face is burning, her chest is wilding out, her skin is screaming but she doesn’t want Seungwan to pull away. No, stay there, please.

Her roommate takes her silence to cross another arm over, and it ultimately lands as a hand on top of her death grip on the side of her desk. Joohyun jumps, albeit she thinks only she could have felt it, and Seungwan gently pries her hand away to join it with the other half. Both of her hands are being held by her roommate now, squeezing and interlocking.

She knows how this will go. And sure enough, Seungwan starts to prompt her full body attention with gentle tugs.

Seungwan is so pretty. In this warm lampshade light that paints soft orange onto her gentle features, her eyes look so brown and soft and tender and she is so pretty.

Holy . Has Seungwan always been so beautiful?

Her smooth touch plays with Joohyun’s fingers, rubbing, squeezing, caressing.

Holy . Has she always been this comfortable?

“Do you need a hug?”

Holy ing .

Joohyun doesn’t know if somewhere along her daze she had managed to bob her head down into an affirmation. She just remembers looking at Seungwan’s face, dead-set on imprinting her angelic features into her mind in mere seconds, and the next thing she knows Seungwan is pulling her. They are getting closer to each other, she can smell strawberry and Argan crème and that faint whiff of coffee from the other girl’s mouth. Their faces cross, the tug isn’t forceful, and Seungwan is soft in all the right places.

This could only mean one thing.

Her heart is skipping. An intense surge of hot voltage is rippling through her. catches, parches, her cheeks burn

Seungwan is soft and pretty and smart and kind and Joohyun feels so warm just holding her like that and this could only mean one thing.

Holy bananas.

Holy ing bananas.

Bae Joohyun has a crush.

 


Endnotes: *song rec for this chapter is Love by Mistake - Bad Suns! (It's so cute if you think of it as Joohyun's POV)

Hello all! This is also a really long chapter but I figured since I haven't updated in 3 weeks I'd just make it longer to compensate ^^ This is actually Turning Point pt. 2 and perhaps the easiest chapter I've ever written so far. We'll only go up from here, you guys! :D I updated the foreword with Joohyun's version of the cover so go check it out if you want ^0^

Comments and upvotes would be most appreciated! I love hearing from you guys and I promise I'll try my best to reply to each comment :D As usual, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you in the next !! ♡

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Riscark 1321 streak #1
Authornim, please come back 😔
elrein #2
Chapter 4: Holy bananas, this is so gooooood..
um, if you have spare time, update plz? 😷🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️
wenwrites #3
Chapter 4: author please come back 🤧🤧🤧
ShinHye24 1340 streak #4
Chapter 4: Still cant get over It
Need to read how Joohyun is gonna act around Wan now
77seconds #5
Chapter 4: Holy bananas i want an update🤧
smarty0821 #6
Chapter 4: Patiently waiting for you to come back 🥺🫶
gntmsk
#7
Chapter 4: might wanna cry reading this because they're just so adorable???? can't believe i found this fic so lateeeeeee
RedVelvet_baby
#8
Chapter 3: I love Irene baby
Chambi
#9
Chapter 4: Such a good fic 🥰
WluvsBaetokki #10
Chapter 4: I'm losing my mind too Irene