Joohyun stands in front of the full-sized mirror of her closet, hands gripping on the hem of her peach-colored button-down to flatten the wrinkles out.

She looks decent, she thinks. Nothing too formal, nor too casual. Black slacks paired with black loafers, her sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and hair tied back to a ponytail. Should she tuck her shirt in? Should she wear her glasses?

She frowns and tilts her head to the side while looking at her getup, as if it could give her a new perspective on her outfit.

It isn’t bad. Right?

Her roommate saunters in from the kitchenette not long after her lamenting, fingers wrapped around a box of apple juice and her lips puckered on its plastic straw. Seungwan doesn’t have classes today, she had said the night before. Apparently her professor is out of town.

“Whoa!” the younger girl exclaims with gleeful surprise when she looks at her, eyes wide and her lips immediately drawing to a smile. “You look great! What’s the occasion?”

“Class,” Joohyun deadpans with a little smile tickling the corner of her lips, on the side where Seungwan can’t see. “Some of us aren’t so lucky.”

“You are lucky.” Seungwan grins brightly. The free hand that isn’t holding her juice box gestures to Joohyun’s frame from head to toe, seemingly implying something.

“Want to go to my class instead of me, then?” Joohyun challenges with a snicker as she huffs at her reflection on the mirror again, sort of ignoring the obscure implication. 

“Something is missing,” she states flatly, unimpressed.

Seungwan appears on the reflection beside her, a mere step behind. She is still chewing on her plastic straw while taking occasional sips innocently.

“I think you should tuck it inside,” the younger girl suggests with a nod. “It looks better that way.”

“Alright… do you mind?”

“Oh, sorry. Not at all. Hold on.”

Joohyun waits until Seungwan has turned around from her sight to give her some privacy. She hastily tucks in the shirt inside the waistband of her slacks, making sure it looks clean and unwrinkled when she finishes.

Seungwan is right. It looks better. It only needs a belt to go around the empty space between the loops of her slacks, which she easily remedies with black leather. The silver buckle shines brightly against the streaks of light passing through the curtains on the windows. It makes her look sophisticated.

She decides to wear glasses over it, and her favorite leather wristwatch from her father.

“I’ll be leaving already,” Joohyun announces to the room as she takes one final look at her reflection. Seungwan is silent, sitting on the side of her bed while still sipping on her juice.

“Are you going to be alright in here?” she asks with a chuckle, grabbing her bag and books from the edge of her own bed. She looks at her roommate, who only gives her a smile and a thumb up.

Seungwan, Joohyun admits, is such a delightfully cute woman. She is every definition of cheery and bright—her smiles are always generous and open, her cheeks pulling up to form round fluffy balls that almost hide her eyes whenever she does. She exudes a kind and soft aura to her person; never judgmental, always supportive and welcoming. Even her mere presence is a comforting energy to Joohyun.

She wears her heart on her sleeve, that much Joohyun can tell from the semesters they have spent together. Talkative, while still filtering the private parts of herself to keep a cloud of mystery above her head. Blithe, yet still careful not to overstep, to overshare.

Joohyun has always been sensitive to people’s energies from the get-go, as someone who duly relies on her instinct to find which people are compatible enough to be in her small circle. She is careful, very meticulous, and isn’t afraid to distance herself from those who give her a hard time.

But she knew from the moment Seungwan stumbled into the dorm room and apologized bashfully that this girl is going to be a peaceful company. She didn’t know Seungwan yet, but from the way she talked and smiled shyly whenever Joohyun caught her eye (and Joohyun has a habit of staring), Joohyun knew she wasn’t trying to put up some sort of act.

That is the kind of person Seungwan is. Genuine and real. When you know her, you know her. How well you know her, however, is where the line between acquaintances and close friends lies.

Joohyun herself doesn’t know where she lies between the spectrum. She definitely knows Seungwan well enough not to be considered an acquaintance, but she thinks she doesn’t know her too much to be called a close friend.

Whatever it is, whoever she is, she still receives Seungwan’s smiles and kind words. That should be enough.

“Have a nice day at school, unnie!” Seungwan’s voice is caring and easy when she bids her goodbye with a wave. Joohyun allows the care, the friendly comfort, and smiles back at the younger girl with her own little wave by the door.

She likes Seungwan. Seungwan is nice.

 

-

 

It has been three weeks since then—ever since Joohyun had to comfort a crying Seungwan who was grieving over her breakup.

It has been three weeks since Joohyun’s skin crawled in anxiety of having to deal with things she isn’t acquainted with. People, and feelings. She sure as hell is not acquainted with people with feelings.

Contrary to Seungwan’s belief, Joohyun does not actually have a problem with comforting people. She does it to Sooyoung and Yerim occasionally, and they’ve never told her that she . They’ve never told her that she’s bad.

Joohyun has a problem with boundaries. She has a problem with identifying if things are permitted or not, if people would like it or not. She has a problem with classification.

Seungwan is not an acquaintance, but she isn’t a close friend either. So what should she do?

Eventually, Joohyun just decided to let herself do what she normally would have done if she were upset—distraction.

And it worked, surprisingly. With Seungwan’s bright smile and tears devoid in her eyes as they walked down the pavement, peace and companionship shared in between tasty ice creams and swollen lips from the cold, it worked.

Joohyun thought it was odd. She was supposed to be the one comforting Seungwan, but she also found her worries quelled by her easygoing presence. With Seungwan, it was easy to admit that she didn’t know what to do. With Seungwan, it was so easy to be honest.

The girl takes vulnerabilities and turns them into strengths. She sees the good in every bad, finds the line in every obscure situation.

She didn’t let her irredeemable defeats crush all of her spirits. She used them as a fuel to push further, to fight stronger. She took Joohyun’s indecision, and saw them as an action of her subconscious sincerity—one she certainly didn’t expect to hear.

And it touched Joohyun. It touched her a lot.

So no matter how careful Joohyun is when it comes to letting people in, she can’t help but feel relaxed when it comes to Seungwan. She can’t help but feel emotionally drawn to the girl. Seungwan feels… safe.

Seungwan feels like a long-lost friend. Like someone who doesn’t claim to know her (because God knows how much Joohyun hates it when people think they know her), but someone who talks from what she knows of her. Joohyun thinks the distinction is important. She thinks the boundary is important, and that Seungwan respects it.

She likes Seungwan’s respect.

Things have changed since then, gradually. Comfort and familiarity seep under her veins whenever they are close, tingling and itching for a touch. 

Like newfound serenity, Joohyun had realized how satisfying it was to share Seungwan’s warmth when they had interlocked arms. She found herself liking it, subconsciously yearning for it too, from the way she unknowingly sits closer to the girl whenever they are on their desks.

Seungwan doesn’t seem to mind either. She continues to chat the nights away amiably, sometimes nudging Joohyun with her elbow playfully and keeping her arm there for a few seconds. Their laptops, which had been inches apart before, are now tried to their last half-centimeter distance. Sometimes, Seungwan even sneaks a peek at hers, and comments about the things she can’t understand.

Which is… practically everything.

Joohyun just laughs at her, amused. Seungwan is pretty funny, even when she isn’t doing anything remotely worthy of a laugh. Her whole existence is just a joy to be with; a very entertaining, comforting presence.

It grows inside of Joohyun, the little sprouts of familiarity and intimacy that settles with warmth in her chest.

Joohyun likes Seungwan. She wants to be a good friend of the girl.

 

-

 

As unbelievable as it sounds, Joohyun sometimes forgets that she has friends. She fixates most of the time, on concrete things, or people who are currently in front of her.

But then again, if your friend is someone like Park Sooyoung, you would want to forget her, too.

“Unnie!” the tall giant cries as she falls to her side dramatically, draping herself all over the smaller girl with a whine. “Blessed be my luck today! Spare me your brain and wit, O Goddess. I have an exam in an hour.”

Sooyoung is Joohyun’s most questionable friend in existence. She doesn’t even remember how they became friends. 

It must have been Jennie, who has a friend named Chaeyoung, who happens to be Sooyoung’s friend, that permitted that little bridge of acquaintance between them to blossom into a friendship. Whatever it was, it has made Sooyoung stick to Joohyun like an annoying bug.

The Chemistry major is not only a complete pain in the , but she also drags Joohyun around like a ragdoll. Over time though, as much as she hates it, Joohyun found herself warming up to the younger girl. Sooyoung brings a sparkle of color into her life, painting the bland white walls of her monotone building with greenish hues of her joyful smile.

Sooyoung’s building is just across hers, so she frequents in Joohyun’s whenever she is bored.

“Literally, what on Earth—” Joohyun grumbles with a frown as she tries to push Sooyoung off her, but the girl only clings tighter. “Get off me, you big baby.”

“I need to leech off your energy for the remaining hour. This test will determine my fate!”

“You say that for, like, every test you have.”

“Because every test is equally as hard!”

“Yeah, you just don’t study.”

Sooyoung gasps. “I’m offended you would even say that, unnie,” she dramatizes. “Do you know that there is approximately a fifty-two percent chance that you can get answers right based on pure intuition? It has been scientifically studied—”

“Sooyoung, please stop.”

“Okay.”

Someone passes by them in the hallway, a familiar face. Joohyun actually lifts her head up from Sooyoung’s hold to look at her better, her eyes landing on a slender figure with a pretty face, red lipstick and thick lashes. Why is that face so familiar?

The girl, whose name Joohyun can’t remember for the life of her, just gives her a sly smile and, if she isn’t mistaken, a wink, confusing her even further.

Sooyoung wolf-whistles with her head following the woman unabashedly, but Joohyun just furrows her brows in question.

“Whew, unnie. Who was that?” she asks in interest, wrapping her arm tighter around Joohyun’s side to pull her close. “She looks like a whole snack. I didn’t know you were allowed to wear dresses with revealing necklines here.”

“I honestly don’t remember who that was,” Joohyun admits with a frown. She has never been good with people, much more with names. “And we aren’t. She must have covered it with her coat.”

Sooyoung laughs loudly, amused.

“Damn, unnie, you really with names, don’t you? She was definitely giving you the eyes earlier. I actually thought you were trying to give her one back.”

“The what?!”

“The—you know… the thing where somebody looks at you like they want to have with you—”

“She wanted to have with me?!”

“You know what—no, nevermind, unnie. God, you are so dumb sometimes.”

“Dumb, but didn’t you come here so that I could ‘bless’ you?”

Sooyoung grins, giving her shoulder an annoying aggressive rub. “Oh, blessed I am, unnie! That woman earlier, the appeal was oozing! I don’t understand why you get all the women when you are so horrible with them. Maybe if you passed them over to my side.”

“It’s not like I want them there in the first place,” Joohyun grumbles. “Shouldn’t you be in your exam hall already? Your test is soon.”

“My building is just a five-minute walk away.”

“And? All of this time you’re wasting with me could’ve been spent reviewing your notes, you know.” Joohyun frowns at her.

“Jeez, unnie. You really want to get rid of me that bad? I’m hurt.” Sooyoung’s nose scrunches up at her, before she finally detaches herself from Joohyun’s side. Thank God. “Let’s drink soon? I think I need to unclench.”

Joohyun doesn’t mind that. She, too, could use the de-stressing from her intense load these days. One might think that after midterms, she’d finally have a break. But her professors just continue to slam case studies over case studies, adding more to the stack she already had piling up back in her dorm room.

Joohyun groans inwardly at the thought of it.

“Yeah, sure.” She shrugs to Sooyoung’s invitation, before nodding at her. “I wouldn’t invite Yerim though. She’s a lightweight. I don’t want to carry her all the way to your dorm again.”

“Aren’t you, too?” Sooyoung snickers.

Joohyun makes a fist in the air. “Shut it,” she threatens, to which Sooyoung just guffaws at.

“I’ll text you, unnie! And please, please, please,” Sooyoung pleads with clasped fingers as she starts walking backwards to keep their eye contact. “Please look through your messages.”

Joohyun chuckles at that as she gives the girl a nod and a wave, watching her disappear behind the exit doors when she reaches them. 

 

-

 

When Joohyun remembers where she had seen that girl in the hallway earlier, she remembers it in the middle of a game of bluff with Seungwan.

“Ah!” she had exclaimed, a look of revelation in her eyes.

Seungwan jumps in shock across her and nearly drops her cards.

“Ah?” Seungwan tilts her head in confusion. “Are you going to call my bluff?”

“No, no, no.” Joohyun waves her free hand with a shake of her head, uncrossing her legs on the mat they are on. “I just remembered something.”

“Really? Then your head must not be in the game.”

“My head multitasks,” Joohyun retorts with a snicker. “I’m cool like that.”

“Yeah…” Seungwan rolls her eyes. “Anyways, four diamonds. What did you remember?”

“This girl.” Joohyun stands up from the mat to retrieve her phone on her bed.

“This girl? Unnie, were you thinking about another girl while playing with me?” Seungwan makes an act of frowning disapprovingly up at her, a cute crease between her eyebrows while Joohyun returns. Joohyun gives her a smile, obviously amused.

“I was just bothered the entire day, okay.” She taps through the long list of unread notifications, clearing them away and swiping through her applications. “This girl today, she gave me a wink—”

“She gave you a wink?”

“Yes, that’s not the point. The point is, she was looking at me like I was supposed to recognize her, which I don’t.”

“Wow, unnie, you are so horrible.” Seungwan shakes her head incredulously. Joohyun just ignores her, because she has heard practically the same thing from Sooyoung today.

“We matched on Tinder!” Joohyun says when she finally opens the app to see that she is, in fact, correct about her hunch.

There she is, on the screen, the same girl that she had seen in the hallway earlier that day, masquerading under the name of Son Naeun.

Don’t get her wrong—Joohyun has barely touched her dating apps after installing them and setting up a profile. Sooyoung had dragged her into the world of hookups and told her to do so, only because Joohyun’s “gay-dar” is so bad (as per the younger girl’s words) that it is sort of pitiful.

After a few hookups, however, Joohyun eventually got bored of it. Especially when none of these women so far have been substantial for her, and most of them got easily attached after the first date. She kept the apps around though, just because she keeps forgetting to delete them.

Now Seungwan has an unreadable look on her face, eyes careful and calculating, and Joohyun blinks blankly at her over the gadget in her hands.

“Oh, don’t worry, unnie.” Seungwan must have sensed how Joohyun is finding her face quite apprehensive, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “No judgment in here,” she says with a smile on her face. “You say she gave you a wink earlier?”

“Yeah.” Joohyun now locks her phone and tosses it to her bed again. “Nothing unusual though. Maybe I just got spooked since she looked familiar. I must have gone on a few dates with her.”

“Wow! Are you doing this on purpose, unnie?” Seungwan now has a curious look on her face, leaning forward slightly on the mat.

“Doing… Doing what on purpose?”

“Being an ? It’s like you don’t even remember the women you go out with. I know a lot of boys on campus do it on purpose, so… do you?”

“Wha—what?” Joohyun leans back in surprise, holding her cards to her chest instinctively. “I… I genuinely didn’t remember. I have so much in my head, I don’t have time to remember names and faces I don’t encounter frequently. I don’t—I don’t do it on purpose, of course.”

“Hm.” Seungwan now eyes her suspiciously, straightening back onto her previous position. “Who do you encounter frequently, then?”

“My friends, but even I don’t see them every day. Speaking of…” Joohyun segues the conversation to the perfect opportunity, remembering how she had talked about getting drinks with Sooyoung earlier that day.

Joohyun had gotten back to the dorm room with Seungwan burying her face in books again, which is characteristic of the girl. She had wondered if Seungwan even has time to unclench for herself. It is important to take a break in such a stressful environment that they are in. If she recalls correctly, she has never seen Seungwan party or get drunk at least once.

Surely Seungwan wouldn’t mind…

“My friends and I… we’re planning to have drinks this weekend. You want to come with?”

It’s really just Sooyoung, and possibly Yerim… and there definitely was no plan over the weekend, but Joohyun will orchestrate that herself.

Seungwan seems surprised, a pretty honest look of shock plastered on her face at the invitation. Joohyun doesn’t know how to deconstruct it. Is Seungwan surprised in a good way? Is she going to say yes?

Joohyun knows if Seungwan declines, it would definitely take a strike at her pride. She admittedly doesn’t handle rejection well, especially since it’s not often that she instigates something. 

There is a deafening silence that looms over their heads for a few seconds, but those seconds were all agonizingly slow to Joohyun. Seungwan is unreadable across her. Joohyun doesn’t like it when people are unreadable.

What if Seungwan says no? Considering their discourse earlier and her mild shock at Joohyun’s lifestyle, she wouldn’t be surprised if the girl would want to distance herself for a bit. What if she rejects the offer?

Joohyun feels her bones tremble with every second that passes by. This doesn’t look good. Why did she have to throw the invitation out in such an inconvenient time?

But she was comfortable with Seungwan! Is it wrong to be comfortable with her? Was she too comfortable?

Then with a smile, Seungwan nods. Once, twice, then it becomes a succession of a few more eager nods, and it surprisingly brings Joohyun peace.

“Sure!” Seungwan chirps, easy and melodious and kind, and Joohyun can’t stop the contagious smile from creeping up on her own lips at the confirmation. “That would be nice.” She grins.

“It would be,” Joohyun agrees silently, more to herself, as she reaches for her phone on the bed to compose a quick text message.

Drinks this weekend. You can bring Yerim too, I’ve changed my mind. I’m bringing my roommate.

“Now,” Joohyun says as soon as she sends the text, bringing her attention back to her cards. “Shall we continue our game?”

 

-

 

The week rolls by pretty fast. Joohyun had just made plans with Sooyoung and Yerim on Wednesday, running them over the do’s and don’ts around Seungwan and the friend she has invited. The next thing they know, the get-together is already around the corner.

They meet up for dinner at the samgyeopsal restaurant near their university. Sooyoung and Yerim had gone first to get them a table, since they are roommates in the dorm nearer to the restaurant. Joohyun and Seungwan followed right after. Seungwan’s friend would just be catching up, she said, since she has Saturday classes.

Sooyoung, much to Joohyun’s chagrin and unease, had taken a completely unabashed liking to Seungwan the first second they met. Joohyun can’t blame her though. Seungwan is just the kind of person you can’t help but like—she is amazing like that.

Joohyun also knows that Sooyoung is, in all aspects, the definition of clingy. It is not a surprise that she has already latched herself onto Seungwan so early into their dinner.

“Unnie! You didn’t tell me your roommate was an absolute cutie!” Sooyoung would swoon loudly in the middle of their dinner. She had her arms wrapped all around Seungwan’s left one, the girl sitting next to Joohyun on the round table.

Joohyun had thought placing Seungwan far away from her two devilish friends would prevent the chances of having an embarrassing encounter, but Sooyoung has always been a magnet for explosive first impressions whether she likes it or not.

“Sooyoung, please stop bothering Seungwan,” Joohyun pleads lightly with a groan, shaking her head.

Yerim, who is a vacant seat away from Joohyun due to Sooyoung leaving hers to terrorize the newcomer, is just cooking meat on the griller unaffectedly.

“Oh, no, no.” Seungwan giggles as Sooyoung presses her cheek on her arm and coos. “It’s fine, unnie. I don’t mind.”

“Please don’t say that.” Joohyun grimaces with a look at a smitten Sooyoung. “She’s never going to stop if you enable her.”

“Then let her enable me!” Sooyoung exclaims, eyes still on Seungwan. “You like me, right, sunbaenim? Joohyun unnie is just mad that I’m stealing her friends.” She sticks her tongue out childishly at her, before returning to the woman on her side. “Seungwan sunbae, perhaps I can call you… unnie?”

Sooyoung’s drawl of the relatively intimate honorific is a telltale of a tactic Joohyun should be very familiar with. Judging by the way Seungwan nearly chokes on her side dish and blushes a wild shade of red, Joohyun rolls her eyes at Sooyoung’s blatant flirting.

“Unnie!” Seungwan slips out, more to the word than a call to Joohyun, before covering with coughs. “Unnie… is fine. You can—you can call me unnie.”

Sooyoung squeals, delighted. She takes a piece of cooked meat that Yerim was supposed to be reaching for, and puts it on top of Seungwan’s rice with a smile. “Ah, eat well, my sweet unnie!” She the girl’s hair. “Oh, I’m already tethered to you.”

“Yah!” Yerim bellows with wide eyes at Sooyoung’s daylight robbery, except that it’s night. “Joohyun unnie, can you please contain that little beast over there? One of these days she might find herself faced with a murderer, with that overly flirty nature of hers.”

“Seungwan unnie is far from being a murderer!” Sooyoung shrieks with a protective arm over the aforementioned girl. “Right, unnie?”

Seungwan nods, chopsticks still in . “I don’t think I should be in any category of the sort,” she says with a smile.

Yerim only snorts. “I meant me. Sooyoung unnie, you’re going to be murdered by me.”

“Okay, girls, please behave,” Joohyun deadpans with a heavy sigh. “Have you forgotten that we still have a fifth guest? And she’s already coming.”

Joohyun spares a glance at Seungwan, who is laughing at something Sooyoung had said. She prompts her attention with the pitcher of water in hand.

“You want some?” she asks.

“Yes, please.” Seungwan holds her cup out with both hands, which Joohyun starts to pour water into. “Thank you.”

“Your friend is near, right? I’m sorry that these two couldn’t wait until your friend has arrived. I told them several times to wait.” Joohyun smiles bashfully as she places the pitcher back on its place.

“It’s fine, unnie. I’m also guilty of it myself.” Seungwan chuckles as she takes a sip of her cup. “I’m sure my friend won’t mind either. Oh, and there she is.”

The friend, the fifth to the group, is a tall, slender woman with just as kind a shimmer to her face as Seungwan. She has full, round cheeks, with monolid eyes that turn into thin crescents of pure, unadulterated happiness when she smiles.

Her smile is comforting, childlike, and Joohyun understands why this is Seungwan’s best friend.

Seulgi sits next to Seungwan on the round table, much to Sooyoung’s pouts and dramatic parting from her new favorite unnie. She greets them all with courteous bows and several more eye smiles, and Joohyun already knows that she likes this friend of Seungwan.

They eat, they chat, they laugh and they bond. Yerim has also gotten attached to Seulgi, just as Sooyoong has with Seungwan. They seem to share the same predilection for games and curious humor; a match made in heaven.

It is a beautiful sight, Joohyun isn’t ashamed to admit it. She smiles at how the night has become. Not only has she gained a new friend—apparently Seulgi also loves dancing, and they both agreed to have a collaboration one day (much to Seungwan’s knowing and interested gaze that Joohyun only waves away with a roll of her eyes), Seungwan has also gained two.

They all come together like people who have been friends forever, their clashing personalities surprisingly complementing one another easily despite the differences.

Seungwan, Joohyun spares a look to her side to check, also has that pleasant smile on her face while she looks at them—beautiful and warm, amused by a clueless Seulgi getting involved in a totally rigged game orchestrated by Sooyoung and Yerim.

Joohyun catches her eye in the middle of her affectionate gaze, warm hearts and cheeks slightly flushed from the unadulterated joy of friendship (and also maybe because of the soju), and they both smile at each other.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Joohyun asks, leaning over to make sure Seungwan hears it over the booming music, rambunctious drunk men, and the triplets’ laughter.

“I am.” Seungwan nods earnestly, pleasant smile on her face. Their hands are suddenly too close to each other on the table. “Are you?”

Joohyun tries not to let it faze her so much how Seungwan’s baby blue sweater seems to create a tempting static against hers. It’s probably just the alcohol in her system acting up. They did have a good amount of it, obvious in the other girls’ drunken giggles across them.

She blinks the distraction away, not realizing that she had been paying more attention to the short distance between their hands than necessary.

She brings her eyes back to Seungwan’s shimmering ones, the girl’s cheeks shyly kissed with a pink flush, and nods.

“Very much so,” Joohyun says. She is so glad she invited Seungwan to this gathering.

 

-

 

When the night ends after all the loud laughter and impromptu karaoke sessions in the restaurant’s drop coin karaoke machine, they find out that Seulgi is an even bigger lightweight than Yerim is. Actually, she is the biggest lightweight out of the five.

She drapes herself all over her best friend, whining and trying to kiss her cheek, much to Seungwan’s groans and efforts to keep her up. Joohyun can only chuckle in amusement at the struggle, unable to help because she is also busy with Sooyoung and Yerim as well.

“I can’t believe we drank nearly ten bottles of soju with lightweights,” Seungwan would grumble with a huff as soon as they have guaranteed their friends’ returns to their homes and dorms. 

They now stand next to each other just outside of the university gates after making sure Seulgi’s brother has fetched her safely. It is already around 10 in the evening and the university’s premises are nearly deserted.

Joohyun just giggles next to her, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets to keep them from the coldness of the night air.

“We didn’t have much choice. They ordered it themselves,” she says with a smile, Seungwan following her inside the gates beside her.

“I’ve always known Seulgi can’t take alcohol well though. She’s like a little baby.”

“She is, isn’t she? It’s adorable.”

Seungwan nudges her arm with an elbow, surprising Joohyun slightly that it prompts a chuckle to escape her lips at the act.

“Easy there, I’m watching you.”

“What?”

“Don’t you dare go around targeting my best friend like that. I know your kind. You are dangerous.”

“Dangerous!” Joohyun laughs as they pass by a security guard who gives them a curious look before realizing they are dormers. Most of the streetlights are already turned off this late at night, the only sources of illumination being the entrances to nearby buildings that they pass by occasionally.

“I think you’re very mistaken about me, Seungwan-ah. I’m not dangerous at all.”

“I haven’t forgotten about your whole… ‘I don’t remember women’ thing going on. You’re on thin ice, Bae Joohyun.” Seungwan gives her a glare obscured by the darkness of the night. Joohyun still sees it though, because of the shining moon above them.

“I said she’s cute. Is it wrong to find someone cute?”

“Yes, for people like you. It’ll only be a matter of time before you make her fall in love with you. You will follow her tonight, she will follow you back because she’s nice, then you will do your… thing… and then she will get smitten with you just like everyone else does.”

“I’m flattered that you think that way about me, but I don’t see how that’s my fault. I’m not particularly targeting her, like you accusingly say so.”

“Just—stay away from my best friend, okay? Or I will kick your .”

“Alcohol has made you brave, huh?” Joohyun grins in amusement at the other. “You don’t even call me unnie anymore.”

Seungwan scrunches her nose, a cute pout growing on her lips. 

“... Unnie,” she supplies unhelpfully.

It must be the soju that is still lingering in her veins, or maybe it is because Seungwan looks adorable in this light and this is the closest they have ever been—arms touching with their sweaters and jackets chafing against each other, close enough to have a feel of the other’s heat—but Joohyun doesn’t hesitate to reach her hand out.

She reaches out, and pats Seungwan’s head twice, giving it a gentle rub afterwards. Friendly.

“Don’t worry, Seungwan-ah.” Seungwan doesn’t protest to the touch, and Joohyun can’t seem to bring her hand down either. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating about me, but I won’t do it to Seulgi.”

“You better not!”

“You have my word. Period.” Joohyun cackles as she drops her hand back to her jacket pockets.

“I think I’ve seen her several times. She frequents in my building somehow.”

“Hey!” Seungwan glares at her again and Joohyun laughs.

“I’m not kidding! I’m sure she doesn’t go to my college though. Stop antagonizing me.”

“I will keep my eye on you until I’m sure you aren’t onto her.”

“Alright, so tell me what she’s doing in my building so I can avoid her.”

“She doesn’t want to round the block to get to hers, so she takes the route inside yours. She said it is nearer, so.”

“Ah, I see. She’s a Fine Arts student?”

“Yup! Only the best.”

“She must know my friend then. Fashion Design. Jennie Kim.”

“I don’t know. I’ll make sure to ask her when I get the chance.”

“There is no need. I just think it would be nice to expand the circle.”

“Do you want to link arms?”

Joohyun’s heart jumps at the sudden query, the innocent question meandering seamlessly into the night air and camouflaging as cricket noises in the forest that decoratively surround the path to their dormitory complex.

But Joohyun still caught it, crisp and loud. She nearly stops in her tracks if it weren’t for the millisecond delay between her mind and her body courtesy of the alcohol.

“Yeah… yeah, sure. I don’t mind.”

Seungwan loops her arm around hers, comfortable, and presses against her side naturally. Her heat is comforting in the chilly air, suffusing a content warmth throughout Joohyun as they mesh together. Even to the way her hand crawls around her bicep like a vine and settles as a gentle grip on the fabric of her jacket, it is all so delicate and pleasant. It is all so nice.

Joohyun likes this. Seungwan is warm.

They talk about different things. Everything. Nothing. Seungwan has a tendency to digress every three sentences, and Joohyun has the patience to listen to every word and bring them up if it deems fit. They laugh over something silly, and Seungwan cries over something abhorrent. They spend time, like they always do in their dorm room, never running out of words to say and things to talk about.

To Joohyun, the night sky smiles down at them beautifully with its twinkling stars and bright moon. To Joohyun, a walk from the university gate to their dorm would only last her roughly fifteen minutes.

To Joohyun, Seungwan smiles, and she matches her steps until they are languid and relaxed on the empty asphalt.

To the both of them, maybe, Joohyun hopes, a decadent wish stands that they’d want the road to stretch for far longer than it does, just to milk the very last moments of the time that has become simply precious.

 

-

 

Sooyoung drags Joohyun by the arm the moment she sees the woman descend the front steps of her building. Joohyun should’ve known that the younger girl was up to no good when she had a glance of that fiery look on her face from inside.

“Let’s go, let’s go.” Sooyoung tugs on her arm impatiently.

“Go? To where?” Joohyun is confused. Sooyoung just keeps tugging annoyingly at her arm. “Yah, Park Sooyoung! Stop dragging me!” she pulls it back with a force and a frown on her lips. 

She had just gotten out of her last class for the day, and that class had been handled by the most terrifying professor in her department. She is tired, physically and mentally. The last thing she needs is chaos to finish her day.

Sooyoung must have noticed the serious tremor in her voice, because apology blanches her face a second after she realizes her mistake. She takes a step nearer Joohyun and wraps a hand around her arm gently now.

“Sorry, unnie,” she says, genuine, after noticing Joohyun’s stressed and fatigued look. “I just… well, I just wanted to go see Seungwan unnie.”

“Great, now you’ve made me feel even tier. You were only planning to use me to get to her?” Joohyun raises an eyebrow bemusedly at the other.

“No, of course! I also planned to exploit your funds and ask you to buy me some food after.”

Joohyun glares at her cold and hard, and Sooyoung smiles sheepishly with a dip of her head.

“Can we please? I’ll settle for the free option.”

“Her building is all the way up the hill, Sooyoung. That’s so far. I’m tired.”

“We can take the shuttle!”

“Are you paying?”

“Um…”

“Then forget it.”

“Unnie!” Sooyoung cries, dramatic, as Joohyun brushes past her to start walking the path to her dorm complex. “Unnie, please,” the taller girl whines when she catches up to her and drapes herself over her back again. “I miss Seungwan unnie. I didn’t even get her number last time! I was drunk off my !”

“Then that is your fault. Do not concern me with it.”

“Heartless! Absolutely heartless!”

“Oh, hey, Sooyoung and Joohyun unnie!”

Their heads snap to the third party that greets them from the side, right out from the pavement on the side of Joohyun’s building.

Seulgi comes into view, a bright smile on her lips and her hand waving, which instinctively makes Joohyun raise hers as well.

Sooyoung is less modest, breaking apart from Joohyun to meet the other girl in a loud greeting and invasive hug. Joohyun thinks it isn’t necessary at all. Seulgi must be too nice for her own good though, because she only returns Sooyoung’s hug just as tightly.

“Where are you guys headed?” Seulgi asks with a smile now that Sooyoung finally takes her to Joohyun’s side.

“I was just going h—”

“To Seungwan unnie’s building!” Sooyoung interrupts with a determined fist in the air, before Joohyun could even finish.

“Really?” Seulgi’s eyes widen in delight. “What a coincidence, me too! What do you say we all go together? I’m sure Wannie would love it!”

Wannie, Joohyun almost smiles subconsciously at the cute nickname but she catches herself. 

Then she realizes the direness of the situation, and how she is being dragged right into it. Holy hell.

“No, no. I think I’m going to go first. I’m so tired, I can’t—”

“Nonsense, unnie!” Sooyoung loops both of her arms around each of Seulgi’s and Joohyun’s to lock them into place. “I’m sure Wannie unnie would love it, right?” she asks Seulgi with a beam, who only returns it cluelessly.

Something doesn’t sit right with Joohyun, how Sooyoung is suddenly using the nickname for her own. It was better when it was Seulgi saying it. Sooyoung and Seungwan aren’t that close. Why would she use that?

At the end of the discourse, Joohyun finds herself begrudgingly following anyway. She just wants to make sure Sooyoung won’t act brash around Seungwan without her. The friendship that surrounds the five of them is still premature. It is best to be cautious of any possible misunderstanding.

Or maybe because Joohyun also wants to see how Seungwan is in her own building. A diligent student, walking around with her white coat. A pleasant smile on her face, friendly. 

Maybe.

But Joohyun did not expect to see Seungwan without her white coat and friendly smile when they found her in the building. 

She certainly did not expect to see Seungwan in a confrontation with her ex when she does.

The guy—what was his name? Chaneol? Chan… Joohyun doesn’t even remember. His handwriting on one of the letters Seungwan used to keep in a jar on her desk was nothing short of confusing. Even when she tried squinting at it to read, she still couldn’t.

Maybe it’s best to keep referring to him as “the ex”. She wouldn’t want to butcher his name, his birthright.

Seungwan’s ex is tall. He towers over her generously, about a foot’s length in difference, with broad shoulders and a large body. He has medium-length chocolate hair that curls into a comma over his eyebrow, the strands brushed back neatly to give him the characteristic boy-next-door look.

He is handsome, Joohyun will give him that. He has a dimple that matches Seungwan’s shy one on her cheek, and eyes that are as soft as hers. Anyone looking would undoubtedly believe that the two make a good couple.

Too bad they broke up. Too bad they are currently arguing.

“I feel like we are intruding on something,” Sooyoung carefully tells the two girls beside her once they reach the third floor, which is where Seungwan told Seulgi she would be.

“You feel? No , Sherlock. We are,” Joohyun hisses while tugging on hers and Seulgi’s shirts to pull them away from the corridor. “Let’s just wait for her outside. Come on.”

“No, I feel like…” Seulgi bites her lip as she keeps her eyes on the arguing couple anxiously. “I feel like Seungwan needs an intrusion. She can’t be comfortable talking to him right now.”

“We don’t speak for her feelings,” Joohyun reminds them, although she does feel a persistent tickle of unease and annoyance the longer she looks at them. The last time she had seen Seungwan involved with the idea of him, she had broken down in their room and cried herself to sleep. And that had been without seeing him.

A part of Joohyun wishes she had the courage to pull Seungwan out of there. A part of Joohyun wishes she could barge in and tell the guy to piss off. But she juggles between not having the right to do so, and also having to be the bigger person and staying out of it.

They wait outside of the building, just as Joohyun had wanted. Sooyoung is actually standing silently next to her against the railings of the front steps while Seulgi paces around anxiously in concern for her best friend.

It takes a while until they see the ex storm out of the building with a scowl on his face, obviously not happy. He doesn’t even recognize Seulgi as he goes out, whereas the girl’s eyes had sparked in recognition of him.

Not long after, Seungwan follows. 

Her shoulders are slumped, her bag lazily dangling off a shoulder, and her hair falls over her eyes like she did it on purpose.

Joohyun is suddenly scared, suddenly overwhelmingly worried. She jumps onto her feet, traces her eyes along the lines of Seungwan’s cheeks where she had seen those painful tears slide down that day she came home crying—fearing, hoping she wouldn’t have to see that again.

Seungwan doesn’t cry, but she doesn’t laugh either.

The rest of the afternoon is somber, and Sooyoung does manage to make Seungwan smile albeit only slightly. Seungwan tries, Joohyun notices, to put up a cheery act for Seulgi and Sooyoung.

Maybe even to her, but Joohyun knows better.

She doesn’t speak as they walk down the hill to part ways at the crossroads. Sooyoung and Seulgi leave with worried glances and gentle hugs to Seungwan, while Joohyun stands awkwardly beside her, hoping her presence would at least account for a little bit of something.

Seungwan is silent all the way to their dorm room. Joohyun can only afford sneaking glances every now and then to see if the girl is crying—which she surprisingly isn’t.

All of the tiredness in her body has somehow flown out of the window the moment she saw Seungwan feeling down. Joohyun doesn’t understand why she feels the need to cheer Seungwan up; why she itches to make the girl feel better even though it isn’t an obligation.

Joohyun realizes that a glum Seungwan, a Seungwan without her smiles, is just as bad as a sky without the sun.

But Joohyun, poor Joohyun, really does not know what to do in times like these. 

She could offer to buy the girl her favorite food for free, or she could watch Glee with her even if she doesn’t understand English. She just needs to do something, anything, just to liven Seungwan’s spirits.

“Unnie…” Seungwan calls out softly, and Joohyun doesn’t even realize she had been standing in front of her own bed statically in her own thoughts until Seungwan calls her.

“Hm?” She turns her head to give the girl a questioning look, finding her curled up on her bed over the sheets. 

There is a sad gleam in her eyes. Joohyun doesn’t want to see it. It saddens her as well.

“It’s alright,” is what Seungwan tells her, making an effort to pull her lips into what she might have hoped was a genuine smile. “I’ll be alright. You don’t have to worry about me.”

But Joohyun does, no matter how much Seungwan assures her that she shouldn’t. That’s just the kind of person she is. She can’t just possibly get rid of it.

“I…” she starts, laying down her bag on her bed gently as she turns to face Seungwan’s bed better.

“I have a heart,” is all she manages, lame and dumb and stupid, she curses herself.

But Seungwan laughs.

Soft and hushed, an easy smile now tickling on the side of her lips while the other half of her face is pressed against her pillow. And that second of barely audible laughter… it makes Joohyun’s stomach jump and flutter.

Like an accomplishment. Like she made Seungwan laugh.

“I know you do, dummy,” Seungwan says after a while, and if Joohyun is delusional she would have believed a sort of intimacy drips lightly over her words. “I just… I don’t want to make it hard for you.”

“I don’t want to make it hard for you.”

“Well, it’s already hard for me, isn’t it?” Seungwan smiles, and Joohyun curses her ex in her mind. “There isn’t much I can do.”

“It shouldn’t be.” The words escape her lips before she can even stop them. 

She wants to tell Seungwan she doesn’t deserve any of the hurt that she is feeling. That she, of all people, should be showered with only good things in return of the kindness that she incessantly gives out to everyone. She sees it, in the time that they spend together, in the short time that she has spent with her newfound friends.

But what would that do? Joohyun knows it isn’t what Seungwan needs to hear. It isn’t what anyone needs to hear when they are sad—it only reminds them of the reality that they are hurting. It only trivializes the pain.

She could offer to beat the ex up, or something. She’s definitely no match for him, but she can go out of her way and flatter a same-sized guy to do her bidding.

But that would be so low of her. Surely there must be some other way…

Seungwan sits up, all of a sudden, pushing back the strands of her bangs with a hand. Joohyun can see her eyes more clearly. Still soft yet vulnerable, but there isn’t a film of unshed tears in them. Just… bare, just tired. Joohyun feels honored that Seungwan would allow her to see that side of her.

“Unnie.” Seungwan’s voice is so delicate that Joohyun wants to cradle it in her hands.

“Yes?”

“I… I think.” Seungwan smiles sadly, almost pleadingly, and something inside Joohyun trembles. “I think I might need a distraction.”

 

---

Endnotes: I caved in?!? This was not supposed to be the plan (or was it? Hmm) but I've received really nice feedback for this and I was also admittedly attached to this oneshot! ^0^ there were comments saying Joohyun didn't really get time to shine in the oneshot so here it is, a whole chapter into the life and musings of the awkward campus crush Bae Joohyun :D

This will probably just be a short multi-shot since I don't want to drag the story around. I hope you guys enjoyed this! This was not beta read so I'm sorry if there are any errors T_T Comments would be most appreciated!! ♡