Airports exist on another plane of existence; they are surreal gaps in time in which you are there for what feels like both five minutes and five hours. This phenomenon only worsens when one is in an empty airport after a three hour drive. The sky had already darkened; Jennie and Irene left Camp Happiness around 7, and they had a little over an hour until their 11:10 PM flight.

The sterile whiteness of DFW International Airport mixed with the silence of the night was driving Joohyun insane. She had already begun to lose it when they went through security, and the walk to their gate was even worse.

Needless to say, the turmoil of the terminal was driving Irene’s anxiety to the ceiling. She walked silently by Jennie’s side, a single small suitcase in her grasp and a thousand thoughts in her head. 

How am I going to tell Jennie? Is Seungwan okay right now? Does Jennie already know? Am I doing the right thing? What—

“Hey, you’ll be okay.”

Her fiancé’s words worsened the feeling of doom now sitting on her chest. She nodded her head in response and sent a small, foreign-feeling smile. They reached their gate and sat side by side in uncomfortable blue chairs. Irene dug her shoes into the carpet, not knowing what to say.

Biting her lip, Jennie dared to ask: “are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?”

“When we get home.”

“You’re going to be asleep by then.”

“Okay, so tomorrow.”

“Joohyun…”

Irene shook her head and sighed. Stubborn girl, Jennie thought. But she was too tired to fight about it, knowing she too would be beyond the ability to speak coherently by the time they reached New York.

A voice on an intercom informed them to begin lining up, and as they walked down the corridor leading to the plane, Jennie felt her stomach drop. She was beginning to dread whatever Joohyun needed to talk about; doubts had begun to work their way into her heart, manifesting in images of a missing ring and teary eyes and college best friends.

She blindly hoped that she was getting inside her own head, but it was increasingly hard to not let her mind wander into dangerous places.

Without any more than nervous glances to each other, they silently boarded the plane, making their way to first class seats. Within fifteen minutes, they were buckled in and beginning their ascent. After the initial turbulence, Jennie’s body relaxed, the anxiety in her heart giving in to the pull of the night.

Her fiancé, however, remained restless. She looked at the peace that overcame Jennie’s face, and she recalled the cruelty she had exhibited. 

The broken look in Seungwan’s eyes, cracks in a mirror that only widened as Irene paraded her fiancé in front of her. And Jennie, who loved her without abandon, turning a blind eye to every red flag Joohyun was surrounded with—what did she do to deserve Irene’s wicked hand?

She was worse than the snake in Eden, worse than Adam and Eve for giving in to temptation; she was Lucifer himself, orchestrating her own fall from grace.

Even after an hour of incessant thinking had passed, she remained awake, staring pointlessly at the ambiguously gray carpet at her feet.

Soft exhales could be heard from the woman sitting next to her, the sleeping girl’s neck bent at an unforgiving angle. Gently, Joohyun guided Jennie’s head to the other direction until it rested quietly on her shoulder. A wave of familiarity washed over her as she recalled the first time she had heard those exhales and felt that warm head against hers.

A quick glance at her phone told Joohyun that she had overstayed her visit at Jennie’s place. It hadn’t been too long since they started seeing each other, but the insistent heiress had already found several ways to intertwine her daily life with Joohyun’s.

That day’s plan involved a movie night in Jennie’s bedroom, a pleasant change of pace from the overpriced restaurants and outrageous high-society parties Joohyun found herself being dragged to.

As she opened to say goodbye, she realized her words would only fall on deaf ears. Sounds that were not quite snores and not quite simple breaths escaped the ever-so-slightly parted lips of Jennie Kim.

With a small laugh, Joohyun sent a text to Jennie’s phone, a message she would see in the morning explaining her departure. The ring of the notification stirred Jennie awake, and the only word that left was a desperate and demanding command:

 “Stay.”

Without much desire to protest, Joohyun climbed back in the bed, a pair of arms instantly pulling her in. She didn’t know how to feel about Jennie, who seemed to already have her mind up, but the feeling of those muttered sighs and body heat that warmed her up provided a sense of comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

Sleep came easily in an embrace as secure as Jennie’s, she learned that night.

Bittersweet tears teased an appearance as Joohyun continued to focus on Jennie’s steady breathing. As always, it lulled her to sleep, safely wrapping her in a love she could never deserve.

I’m sorry, she thought before giving into the darkness behind her eyes. In another life, I think you could have been the one.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as we begin our descent, please make sure seats and trays are in their original positions. Please make sure your seatbelt is fully secured and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bin. Thank you.”

The static-laced voice now filling the cabin awoke both women. Jennie was the first to move, a small smile on her face as she left the warmth of her fiancé’s body. Following right after her, Joohyun yawned and blinked several times.

Too tired to speak, Joohyun closed her eyes again, drifting off with no awareness of the real world besides a warm hand squeezing hers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at LaGuardia Airport. Once again, please make sure all seatbelts are fastened securely. Flight attendants will be passing around to pick up any remaining trash. Thank you.”

This time, it was a feminine voice of a flight attendant that dragged Irene to consciousness. She decided to stay awake, awaiting the final announcement. It came sooner than she thought, in the traditional form of a deep, falsely enthusiastic voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to LaGuardia Airport. Local time is 3:32 AM, and the temperature is 65° fahrenheit. Please remain seated until you see the sign to unbuckle your seatbelts…”

Joohyun tuned out the rest, knowing the routine fairly well. As soon as they could, the engaged couple grabbed their bags and made their way into the airport, immediately making their way to the luggage belt.

Then, Jennie made a quick call, getting a car to arrive in record time to drive them home. With a hand dragging her along, Joohyun found herself in the backseat of a sedan, her fiancé’s head coming into contact with her shoulder just as soon as the door closed.

When they arrived at the large metal gates of the Kim Estate, Joohyun perked up, nudging Jennie awake. Jennie mumbled out an acknowledgement and together, they found their way into their bedroom.

A shower was necessary for both of them, separately because Joohyun knew that despite the tired ache in her body, Jennie’s wandering hands would find their way onto hers, and she was neither mentally nor physically able for that. Jennie deserved more than the touch of a coward, of a woman too afraid until it was too late.

So in due time, they ended up side by side in the same bed once again, as they had been for at least 1000 nights.

But that was not an ordinary night. Fear had worked its way into both women’s hearts, and that same fear kept Jennie from saying a word about it. Speaking of something makes it real, and God forbid that happen for Jennie. 

Somewhere in the web of fear, Jennie had come across sleep in the crook of Irene’s neck, a familiar rhythm to her. Joohyun had lost the rhythm, falling into dissonance that sounded eerily similar to the voice of a woman she loved.

Dissonance turned to regret turned to anguish turned to an undying anxiety about how she would go about breaking another heart.

Sleep came in short intervals interrupted by a nervous heartbeat and headache-inducing thoughts; it wasn’t until dawn that Joohyun felt herself able to fully fall asleep.

The next day started off the same as always—Jennie woke up before Joohyun, leaving her to sleep a little longer as she got ready to start her day. By the time their daily paths collided again, they were both in a living room, the noon sun washing the space in a bright light.

In a pair of simple shorts and an old t-shirt of Jennie's, Joohyun looked absolutely beautiful. Every part of Jennie was entranced, and she found herself walking over to a distracted Joohyun, her slender hands finding a home on a narrow waist before sliding down to tempting hips.

Underneath the touch, Joohyun’s body stiffened, and when a needy nose ran up the side of her neck, she stood straight, hoping to shake off her fiancé.

Jennie, on the other hand, was thriving. It had been so long since she had gotten to touch her, to truly feel her in the privacy of her home. Just the feeling of her body in her hands was enough to reel her in again and again.

“I love you so much,” she breathed out.

Don’t say it like that; you’re making it too hard.

Jennie’s arms provided a safe feeling, but even safety can be suffocating. With a sigh, she knew it was time. Shaky hands removed the hands on her hips, and she turned around.

There was a desire to keep her eyes trained on the floor, but she fought it, looking up and staring straight into confused eyes. “Jennie… we need to talk.”

The words had made Jennie freeze in fear. She retracted her hands, searching fruitlessly for any sign of softness in the brown eyes she loved so dearly.

Her heart had quickened in the worst way, an asphyxiating anxiety took over her as she awaited her fiancé’s next words. She nodded hesitantly, encouraging her to continue.

Irene had thought about this conversation all night, how it would start and how it would end. Dark circles provided evidence to the hours of hypothetical scenarios and monologues she had planned in her head.

But nothing hypothetical could ever beat the impact of a blunt, cold truth.

It’s now or never.

“I cheated on you.”

“What?” 

It was an instinctive reaction—Joohyun’s words didn’t register as anything beyond simple sounds. No “I knew it,” no “how could you?,” nothing besides a breathless “what?” could be said.

Without giving Jennie time to absorb the revelation, she closed her eyes and forced out more of the truth. “It was during camp. I… I don’t have any excuses for what I did. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Jennie.”

Jennie’s eyes darted around, a panic taking her closer to the point of hysteria. A pair of hands reached out to calm her down, but she swatted them away. There was no heartbeat pounding in her ear, no heavy breathing occupying space—just four sinister words repeated again and again until they became a hand strangling Jennie and reducing her to simple tears.

“I cheated on you.”

“It was a one-time thing, right?” She looked down at her own hands, ignoring the sad way Joohyun must have been looking at her. “We can still fix things. It’s good that you told me; we can work through this together. I love you. This hurts a lot, but we can get through it.”

“Jennie—“

“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” she cried out,