“I know but it doesn’t matter that she lives with you, I’m her mom too, I took care her of her as well.”

 

The blonde was on the phone pacing around her apartment her right hand holding the phone to her ear while her right was playing with a stress ball. Her day going from bad to worse, because now her ex didn’t want to let her see the dog SHE bought and SHE took care off for 3 years.

 

“You can’t decide when I can see her or not.” She plays with the viewer on her hand and takes it up to her eyes looking through it. The memory of that day still making her happy.

 

She then heads to the door when she hears a knock, opening it she greets Joy and welcomes her in. The taller girl walks front of Chaeyoung leaving her purse on the couch and waiting for her friend to finish her conversation.

 

“I understand you are busy but she’s still my dog too, I’ll go pick her up if I have to, just tell me when?”

 

Joy rolls her eyes already knowing where the conversation is ending, even wording the last words herself.

 

“Two weeks? Okay, see you then.”

 

SHe hangs up and releases a heavy sigh leaving her phone on the coffee table.

 

“What’s wrong now?” Joy asks out of consideration already knowing what was going on.

 

“Ashley is not letting me see Jung again.”

 

“And that’s the reason for the thousand suicidal texts I received?”

 

Chaeyoung stands up and heads towards her kitchen. “Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’ as she always did. “Those texts were because I was fired from the firm.”

 

“What?!” Joy asks getting up from her seat and lookin at Chaeyoung. “Why?”

 

“Mr. Lee’s daughter.” She answers serving the wine on a pair of glasses.

 

“And what are we doing about that?”

 

“I’m ordering pizza and finishing this wine.”

 

“That’s it?” Joy takes a glass from Chaeyoung as they head back to the living room “That’s your grand plan get drunk and eat all the carbs in the world?”

 

“Mhmm.” Both girls take a sip from their drink before Chaeyoung perks up. “Today is the anniversary of the firm, maybe we can go and I’ll see Mr. Lee’s daughter again she’ll tell everyone she was flirting with me and I get my job back.” She said with a smile as if her plan was brilliant, as if there were no flaws in her plans.

 

Joy sighed. “Chaeyoungie need I remind you think every girl who’s nice to you is flirting with you and when they are you end up swearing that they are the love of your life and so far you have been wrong.”

 

“But I’m not wrong this time, she was flirting with me, I know this, you know this, you saw her.”

 

“Okay, Chaeyoung, whatever you say.”

 

• JENNIE -

 

“Uh… wasn’t this supposed to be something small?”

 

Irene, Jisoo and Jennie where standing by on the backyard of the Jongin property. They were there because Kai’s mother had wanted to organize something to celebrate their engagement. They deal was to have a small gathering of inly family and friends, so she did not expect to arrive and see more than 50 guest and a whole banquet prepared.

 

“It was supposed to be.” She mumbled as they made their way towards the party.

 

“Kai.” She called her fiance out.

 

“Honey bun!”

 

“Honey bun?” Irene whispered towards Jisoo who only grimaced in response.

 

The doctor opened his arms to greet his fiance while his friend Bogum greeted Irene in a similar fashion, the other girl accepting the greeting to not appear rude. Jisoo could only looked amused as she knew how much Irene disliked the guy, it’s not that he was a bad guy or anything but he was just to pushy and did not seem to get the hint.

 

“Kai, what is this? I thought we said something small?” She hissed at him.

 

“Babe, I’m sorry. I told my mom and you know how she is.” He excused.

 

“Bu…”

 

“Miss. Jennie..” They were interrupted by Bogum, who greeted her with a quick hug. “Your parents are already here.” He said pointing at the couple. “Already drinking and all.”

 

“I’ll go talk to them.” She said as she walked away, but not before turning quickly to Kai “We will talk later.

 

Jennie walked to where her parents were greeting people along the way. Eventually, after what it felt like forever thanks to the multiple interruptions she made it through and greeted the both with a hug. Her dad keeping her close with a arm around her shoulder as he whispered against her ear.

 

“Where are we watching the game?” He asked knowing how his daughter felt about this type of parties and also knowing their favorite team was playing today.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well let’s start looking.” He said making her chuckle.

 

The celebration continued as all the guest mingled, had champaign, wine, brandy or other alcohol of their choice. Jennie had to mingle along with Kai for hours, switching from table to table and having boring conversations about business or medicine. She wondered if this is what her life was gonna be from now on, just endless meaningless conversation as part of a family who seemed to care more about money and appearances than anything else.

 

If you asked 11 year old Jennie if this is what she thought her life would like in the future, she would have laughed. Because 11 year old Jennie believed in love, believed that she’d be loved by some one who would feed a hungry tiger with their bare hands. She believed in a magical spinning top and in the cute nine year old girl who gave it to her. And now… now Jennie wasn’t sure of what she believed.

 

She’s doing what’s next she supposes, because that’s how the story goes right? You meet someone, you date them, you love them, you marry them and that was it. And she had known Kai for a while a now, and he was a good guy, successful doctor, came from a great family, is all she could ask for right?

 

“Kai, honey, could I steal Jennie from you for a few minutes?” Mrs. Jongin appeared beside her son and held onto Jennie’s arm in a way that meant that she would be talking to her whether she wanted to or not. Receiving a nod in response she pulls her aside and away from prying ears.

 

“Jennie.”

 

“Mrs. Jongin what do you need?” She asked politely. She was at end of the day her mother in law.

 

“Well first I need you to stop calling me Mrs. Jongin, Call me mom.”

 

“Okay… what do you need...mom?” Jennie asked again with a fake smile even though she was wincing on the inside.

“I want you to wear the traditional hanbok I wore at my wedding.”

 

Jennie stared at her not really sure how to respond, because she was not wearing a Hanbok at her wedding. That’s not how she envision it but how to say no to her mother in law who franky looked like she was gonna cry at any second.

 

“ I…”

 

Mrs. Jongin held out her hand to stop her. “Don’t say anything, there’s no need. You marrying my son is thank you enough.”

 

And all Jennie could do was nod and smile as her mother in law left her to go mingle with other guest. It was too much, way too much. This is isn’t what she wanted. She’s starting to feel as this wedding was not hers but Kai’s and more than that she felt like the wedding was more for the general public that them. It was too much.

 

“Babygirl, have you figure out where we are watching the game?” Her dad came in to stand in front of her and although she doesn’t physically show it his presence provided a calming aura to wash over her.

 

“I don’t know that, honestly leave while you can, go watch it with your friends.”

 

Sensing his daughter unease he stepped a bit closer to her and lowered down his voice as to not call unwanted attention. “Jennie, is everything okay? You know you can talk me,”

 

The reassurance in his voice made Jennie feel like a kid again, it was a feeling she would never get tired of feeling whenever her dad was near. Those moments the two of them shared while watching the game, having long conversations as if they were trying to unravel the world’s mysteries where her favorite moments. Moments she would never get tired of.

 

So if there was one person Jennie knew she could to about her current feelings was her dad, the one person she knows would never judge her.

 

“Dad, I…”

 

“Look at this place.” Jennie was interrupted for what felt like the hundredth time this evening, this time by her own mother. “I love the Jongins house.”

 

“Yes, yes, everything is so elegant and expensive, yet they don’t have one single TV on this house?”

 

“Soccer again you two?” She asked knowing how her husband and daughter could get when it came to games.

 

“Is FC Seoul, mom.”

 

“Please don’t make a scene because of it?”

 

“Never.” Jennie promised. Knowing full well she did not mean it. “I’ll be back in a sec, I have to go talk to Kai.”

 

As both parents watched her daughter walk away, her dad turned to look at his wife. “Let me ask you something. What side are you on?” He asked her, talking about the wedding, Kai and their daughter. Normally he wouldn’t ask this. But he had a feeling his daughter wasn’t all that satisfied or happy with her engagement and he wanted to be sure she could have both parents on her side if things went wrong.

 

“On the side of our daughter having a beautiful wedding. What side are you on?”

 

“On the side of having a beautiful happy daughter with or without wedding.”

 

“And then turns out he had colitis and not appendicitis.” Jennie find Kai standing with a group of his pretentious doctor colleges. She had met them before on one of the numerous banquet she had to go to as Kai’s date. Trophy girlfriend more like.

 

When she approaches the table she hears the rest of the table laughing at a pretty dumb story Kai had told her, of course she laughed when he did because what else could she have done?

 

“Kai.” She called out to him.

 

“Honey bun! Remember the colitis story I told you about?” Kai asked bringing her closer by the waist.

 

“Yeah…” She smiled quickly. “Can we talk? Privately?” After receiving a nod in response she walks away with Kai following, wanting to go to a more private space but is held back by Kai who pulled her down to a seat in the middle of the party.

 

“What’s up honey bun?”

 

“Don’t call me that!” She exclaims.

 

“Oookay, what’s wrong, Jennie?”

 

There were no words to describe how much she hated the sound of her name coming out of his mouth, it made her feel like he was claiming her, other times it made her feel like he was claiming her. She hated it, she hated the cringey pet name he insisted to call her as despite how many times she had told him not to. And Jennie once again wondered why she was doing this in the first place.

 

“Is about your mom, she wants me to wear her…”

 

“Hanbok?” He interrupted her with a smile. Making Jennie clench her jaw at the interruption.

 

“You knew?”

 

“She told me, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

 

Jennie sighed and looked up as if asking a higher power for patience. “Kai, we agreed that everything related to the wedding would be decided between the two of us.” She told him frowning. “Just us, and now… now I’m being comprised to wear your mother’s Hanbok.”

 

“What’s so wrong with wearing a Hanbok?”

 

The brunette took a deep breath. “A, I don’t want to wear a Hanbok at my wedding, B, you cannot wear a Hanbok on a beach wedding.”

 

“The beach? We are not getting married at the beach.”

 

“Kai, you know I’ve always wanted to…”

 

“Jennie?”

 

“! What?!” Her temper sparked at being interrupted for the nth time and she wonders if she will ever be able to finish having a conversation without being interrupted.

 

Park Bogum sat next to Jennie looking down like a dejected puppy. “I was wondering if you could talk to Irene about saying yes to my date proposal. I keep asking her but she keeps saying no.”

 

“She likes someone else of course she’s saying no.”

 

“What? Who?”

 

“Wendy.”

 

“But they are not dating yet right?”

 

“No, that I know of.”

 

“Then could you convince her to say yes to me.”

 

Jennie rolled her eyes and took another long breath. It was gonna be a long day.

 

• CHAEYOUNG -

 

“You what?... Okay… come up.”

 

“Was that Ashley?” Joy asked from her spot at the sofa.

 

“Nope, that was Lisa.”

 

“She’s here.”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“I bet she lost her keys again.”

 

Chaeyoung sat down with her wine glass still on her hand frowning. “If that’s the case, I’m not getting her new ones.” She says making Joy chuckle.

 

“You always say the same thing.”

 

The blonde shrugged. “I kinda like her.”

 

There’s a knock on the door and Chaeyoung stands up to open only to laugh at the sight in front of her. “No way.” She said letting her friend in making Joy laugh as well. “First the waitressing job and now you are pizza delivery girl?”

 

The girl in question shrugged as she looked down to her uniform complete with a red cap and of course their pizza in her hand. “A girl has to make a living.”

 

“And yourkeys?”

 

Lisa frowned. “I’m working dude, I cannot just walk in into our customer’s house.”

 

“After half an hour is free right?” Joy asked, with a mischievous smile.

 

“I’m here now.”

 

“Yes but you are late.”

 

“Really, Joy?” Lisa asked with a hand on her chest as if offended. “That’s how you gonna get on my first day at the job, really?”

 

Chaeyoung chuckled. “Okay you goof, let’s just finish this pizza and got to the club so we can set the record straight and I can get my job back.”

 

“And my job?”

 

“Dude, you were getting fired in the next half an hour anyway.” Joy said standing up. “At least now you have your costume for the next halloween party.”

 

Chaeyoung and her friends took no time in finishing the pizza so it wasn’t long before the of them where outside a club begging to be let inside.

 

“Dude, come on, I was the boss of all those guys. You have to let me in.” Chaeyoung begs.

 

“No, sorry Chae. No can do, I can’t let you in. Besides you are with pizza girl I can’t let you in like thar.”

 

Lisa scuffed offended.”Delivering food is a very respectable job.”

 

“Sure it is, still a not is a no.”

 

“Come on dude I…”

 

“Park?” The blonde turned around to see her former boss. “Please tell me you are not here to make another scene?”

 

“What? No I just…”

 

“Chaeyoung, please leave. I don’t care about the nonsense story you created in your head, you are still fired. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Now leave before I take other measures to get you to leave.”

 

Joy and Lisa both placed an arm around the blonde protectively. It was true the girl lived in a fantasy world, could be really innocent at time but she was a grown up, she was aware of her actions. She just went at things differently. And there was no need to talk to her like that.

 

“Come on, Chae. let’s go. Screw them.”

 

“But I…”

 

“Yeah, let’s leave Chaeyoungie. You don’t need this job anyways.”

 

“I kinda do.”

 

“I’ll feed you.”

 

Joy and Lisa pulled her away as the walked to the bus station to wait for cab. Both Lisa and Joy looked at each other, maybe getting drunk and eating all the carbs in the world wasn’t a bad idea.

 

• JENNIE -

 

Jennie from her side was pretty much over all pretences and her and friends decided to take a seat near the bar.

 

“And then she says she wants me to wear the Hanbok I didn’t over know what to tell her..”

 

She tells the girls as they laugh about nonsense. So they might’ve been a bit tipsy can you blame them. The party was boring, Irene kept being flirted on by Bogum and Jisoo was not fairing to well in that department either as a very pushy Jinyoung kept trying to ask her out.

 

“Jennie!”

 

She’s interrupted again and takes a big gulp of her glass in return.

 

“Can you get yourself together please? My uncle wants to meet you.” Kai tell her, leaning against her from behind.

 

“Does he want me to wear a Hanbok too?” She asked chuckling. “Whoa.” She shakes her head as she’s pulled away from her friends by Kai, they are not too far, their a far enough for Jisoo and Irene to hear everything.

 

“Get yourself together, people are starting to notice.” He scolded her.

 

Jennie squinted her eyes for a seconds before gesturing wildly with her hands, a result from her tipsiness. “You know what I think? I think you care more about what those people say than what I want.”

 

“Don’t be childish, they did this for us.”

 

Jennie laughs and shakes her head. “We have been together for to long for you to not know I don’t like this things.”

 

“Then why are you still here?”

 

Jennie thinks about it for a second as Irene and Jisoo look at each other ready to step in if they had to.

 

“You know what? You are totally right.” She tells him. “Girls, let’s go!”

 

Jennie and the girls catch a cab and head over to the bar her dad and her usually went to, to watch the game, greeting him all three girls sat down and Jisoo laughed at the offended look Jennie made when she asked her who were they rooting for. However it was soon forgotten when her dad tells them he will be paying for everything whilst the game is on.

 

*****

 

“You know I’m not a big soccer fan.” Chaeyoung asked as she looked up to the TV where the game was getting played.

 

“Then why are we here?” Lisa asked with a half eaten hot dog in her hand.

 

“Well we are here to eat, get drunk and… oh look! Watch the commercial I did for the person who fired me.” She chuckled humorlessly pointing at the TV.

 

*****

 

The soccer game went on, as both girls looked up to the TV one with excitement in her eyes as she tries to forget about her unsettledness from her upcoming wedding. And the other watching uninterested as she tried to forget about how much she was failing at life at the moment.

 

During the break the announcer talks about a historic moment years ago, which happened in the same stadium during the same match.

 

“...and although it seemed like any other match no one could anticipate the upcoming roar of emotions that would fall upon the expectators that same day…”

 

The universe works in mysterious ways. It is constantly working to make available to us the tools, the resources, the people and the lessons a person needs to become what they are supposed to be. We all have at least once wondered if maybe that thing that happened was a sign.

 

Sometimes we ask for it. For a signal anything that tells us if we are doing the right or not, sometimes we don’t ask for it but the universe finds a way to let us know that maybe just maybe that thing that we are doing might not be the right thing at all.

 

How many times do you wish you had a sign for what direction you should take in life? Jennie had lost count of how many time she had wished for that.

 

How often do you feel alone and unsupported in life? Chaeyoung had felt this multiple times, and more than unsupported she just feels like maybe she doesn’t fits in to well.

 

The signs are less ethereal and are sort of incorporated into the structures and routines of everyday life. The signs are subtle, indirect, and can be very gentle and quiet, although sometimes pretty loud and obvious too.

 

As Jennie keeps looking up at the screen her smile goes away as a look of nostalgia and remembrance took over her features as she looked up to watch a 11 year old version of herself laughing and hugging a 9 year old girl at the stairs of a sport stadium celebrating Jennie’s favorite team got a goal right after the 9 year old girls threw her spinning top.

 

Chaeyoung was looking as the same memory took over her brain, slowly stretching out in a smile as she watched and 9 year old version of herself jump up and down while hugging another brunette on the stairs of a sport stadium waiting for her dad to come pick her up.

 

The memory of that day taking over their minds as everything around them faded out and nothing but that moment remained.

 

Jennie excitedly have Chaeyoung her viewer, the nine year old taking it with care and looking through it with a smile. As a thanks the brunette bends down to transfer the still moving spinning top on to her hand and carefully transfers it to Jennie’s hand, both girls happily watching as the top just keeps spinning in her hand.

 

“You are really giving this to me?” Jennie asked, her right hand going on top of her left to stop the toy from spinning. “But is magical.”

 

“Yes, I’m sure. All you have to do is be sure of what you want before your throw it.”

 

“I like you Bum-Kun of spinning tops.” Jennie tells the girl honestly.

 

“My dad says that’s a sign of being in love.”

 

“In love?”

 

"Yes!” Chaeyoung proceeded to explain even when Jennie didn’t need an explanation nor asked for one, but the brunette is happy to let the younger girl rant. “Liking someone leads to love. And when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe with them. It’s like if you would dare to feed a hungry tiger with your hand."

 

“Would you feed a hungry a tiger for me?”

 

“Holy dude!”

 

“Whoa! That’s you! Everything you told us was true!” Joy said amazed. They had heard the story from her friend multiple times but they always waived off, as if she was making it up.

 

“, chipmunk you look exactly the same.” Lisa said her eyes moving from the TV to the blonde beside her non stop.

 

“See I told you I wasn’t crazy, that’s the Jennie I lost years ago!” Chaeyoung said downing her third short of the night. “You know what?

 

“What?”

 

“I’m gonna look for her.”

 

***

 

“Jendukie! You have not changed one bit.” Jisoo tells her smiling.

 

“I can’t believe even your tiger story is on TV.” Irene said, having heard the story multiple times and casting aside as Jennie’s imagination. As Jennie’s endless hope of finding the love of her life.

 

“See I told you I wasn’t lying. I got lost and I met Chaeyoung… my tiger tamer.” Jennie says with a smile. “But she never did answer my question.” She then said frowning.

 

“You know, baby girl…” Her dad call out from behind her. “Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to get lost.” He tells her with a wink before leaving the bar to head home.

 

Jennie nods and downs another shot. “He’s right.You know what?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m gonna look for her.”