The phone buzzed with the disconnect sound.  I hung it back up, sighing regretfully at my aborted breakfast.  Soo Min was serious about coming over.  If I didn’t get dressed pronto, then she would probably drag me out of the house in my faded, holey pyjamas and mismatched socks.  There were too many neighbors outside for that nonsense.

Defiantly, I took a quick bite of the cereal, grabbed my juice, and headed off to locate some clean clothes to climb into.

….....................................

“That.”

Her voice was dripping disgust. 

“Hell to the No.”  She spun her finger to indicate that I should turn around…NOW.  

“You will go and get an outfit on that isn’t from the orphanage lost and found box.”

I clutched the front of my AC/DC t-shirt, so well-worn it was faded to a nice soft charcoal gray, protectively.  “How DARE you,” I gasped, “you know this is my FAVORITE shirt.”  

I my own sleeve consolingly.

“Don’t pay attention to the mean lady,” I crooned at my poor maligned tee, “it’s just because she doesn’t recognize your EPIC level of comfortableness.  Or how you are the perfect weight-not too thick, not too thin.  OR- how you go perfectly with jeans or shorts or a skirt-“

“OH. MY. GOD.”   She threw her hands up in the air, waving them in horror.  “Tell me you are NOT talking to your own goddamn shirt!”  

I laughed evilly.  Then put on a hurt expression.  “Well, at least my (I leaned forward slightly and cupped my hand around my mouth like it was a secret and whispered) *shirt*   (I leaned back and spoke normally again) doesn’t yell at me.”

Her jaw dropped, hanging open in pure disbelief.   Then it snapped shut with the force of a steel bear trap.  I think I actually heard her molars grinding together in frustration.  It was awesome.  Some days I LIVED  to annoy my  best friend.  Especially days like today, when she was going to force me to get dressed up in “girl clothes”. 

“Mallory.”  Her tone was dead scary.   “You will go and do the girly thing RIGHT NOW, or so help me, I will take your….(she leaned forward, and her whisper was waaaaaaaayyyyy more threatening than mine had been, kind of sickly sweet like some psychotic killer) *shirt*  (she leaned back with a crazy smile)  and use it to clean the bathroom floor.”

Ouch.  That was low.  She knew how much I loved this shirt.  Oh, well.  Fun time over- she’d do it, too.  She would absolutely not hesitate to use my beloved t-shirt as a cleaning rag. 

“Aigoo, arraseo, arra- I’m going, I’m going.”

Soo Min crossed her arms and triumphantly followed me back to my bedroom, heels clicking in that smug, knowing way.  She, of course, looked like she stepped from the cover of High Cut magazine.

Thirty minutes later, she FINALLY let me escape the bedroom.  “Acceptable,” she nodded, “barely.”   

I now had on a pair of skinny jeans, paired with a snug tank, which would have been okay, but she practically ordered me to layer it with this lacey drapey shirt, which I didn’t even realize was in my closet.  At least it was black. I put on the jewelry she told me to- most of which she had bought me for birthdays, et cetera.

And I thanked God above that she knew better than to force me into skyscraper heels (I secretly thought of them as hooker shoes) for a day of walking around who knows where for who knows how long.  She deigned to let me go with low-heeled motorcycle boots.  Catching a quick look in the floor-length mirror over in the corner, I had to admit she knew what she was doing.   It was kind of like a really girly rocker. 

Not what I would have chosen, as I tended to go for more of a nerdy style, but I looked good.

It’s not that I was opposed to more, I don’t know, feminine clothes.  I mean, I dress in business suits and nice professional clothes at work. *sigh* 

I mean I used  to… when I still had a job. 

It’s just that I’m not a fashion diva like Min.  That girl has a black belt in shopping.  I laughed internally.  Or like, twenty black belts- all neatly coiled in her top dresser drawer.

Unaware of my mental dialogue, she snorted and swung out ahead of me, grabbing her purse and dragging me out the door.  I was lucky she gave me the fifteen seconds I needed to lock my apartment.

She clicked her way down the stairs (the elevator had broken down last week and still hadn’t been repaired-which was inconvenient as I lived on the 6^th floor), complaining about how I should move to a more up-scale place.

I gently reminded her that being unemployed meant I had no money to waste on some expensive condo like the one where she lived.  As we made the turn around the third floor landing, she stopped so suddenly I bumped into her. 

“YAH- watch what you’re doing, Mal!  I could die if you knock me down the stairs,” she shouted dramatically. 

My friend, drama princess.

“Well, why did you stop, pabo- and you wouldn’t die, probably just get a broken ankle, then magically some handsome guy will appear and carry you off to the hospital and you’ll end up dating.  He’ll turn out to be rich of course, and you’ll live happily ever after…until you dump him.”

Soo Min looked off hazily into the distance…probably seeing it happen like a movie in her head.  She really did have that kind of luck.  Things always seemed to just….work out for her.  She met guys in the oddest ways, and they always turned out to be hot, usually rich, and smitten by her instantly.

I would probably hate her if I didn’t love her so much.  In a pinch, she was crazy loyal and generous.  The outer shallow-seeming personality wasn’t who she really was.  Not with me, anyway. Or at least not all the time.

She looked thoughtfully at the stairs, and I could almost hear those tiny little gears spinning madly as she tried to come up with a plan that would get her ‘rescued’, but not injured.

“Give it up,” I scoffed.

                “Bwo,” she muttered, still distracted.

“If you fall down these stairs, it will only be because you are so annoying that I PUSHED you.”

That snapped her out of it.  In the way of besties, she instantly knew what I was talking about.

“I wasn’t seriously thinking about doing it.”  

I gave her the you-can’t-fool-me  look.  

“Okay. Not SERIOUSLY- seriously  thinking about it.”   

I nodded, knowing that she’d given up on the idea.  For now.

“So why did you stop in the first place?”

                “Oh, right.  I was just thinking, maybe you could move into my place.”

I thought about it.  For like, 2 seconds.  Then I started started giggling hysterically, so hard I had to sit down right there at the top step, leaning against the probably very unsanitary railing (as if I cared when I was too busy trying not to pee my pants from laughing so much).  

She huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at me all annoyed and pissy.

                “It’s not THAT funny,” she sated flatly. 

  “Here I am, trying to be all good-natured and caring, and you’re laughing at me.”   

Her perfectly pedicured toenails began tapping as I continued to weep in hilarity, the sound echoing loudly in the stairwell.  I probably managed to scare some of the tenants- a lunatic cackling away madly for no apparent reason.

“But-“ I gasped out. 

“You.”   I pointed a shaking finger at her. 

laughgigglelaugh  

“Me.”    I poked my own chest with the same finger.

gigglesnortsnortlaugh    (great-I was now laughing so hard I was snorting)

 “Together?!?”

My eyebrows rose halfway up my forehead, as I looked at her irritated face.

“Oh, Min-ah…,”  laughlaughlaugh  “Oh, my stomach,”  laughlaughlaugh  “Just.”  snort 

“THINK about it!”

As I kept giggling, her eyes narrowed, but then softened and pretty soon she started giggling along with me.  We fed off each other’s laughs, getting caught up in one of those major giggle fits where you can’t seem to stop even though you really want to, because as soon as you meet the other person’s eyes, you both crack up all over again.

“Aigoo,” she stuttered, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, “you’re so right, Mal, it  would be a disaster, wouldn’t it?”

“Absolutely.  I love you, but I can’t stand being around you 24/7, chingu!”

“I totally agree.”

I laughed at her again, crinkling up my face as I fought for breath- “Stop, please, I beg you!”  I was pressing both arms to my stomach, the muscles sore from all the laughter.

She looked confused for a second, but then the light bulb went on and she realized that she had agreed that a person couldn’t take being around her 24/7.  She rolled her eyes.

“You know what I meant.”

“N-n-Ne,” I managed around the last of my giggles. 

She started back down the stairs and paused to look back over her shoulder. 

“Well, that was fun, but we have a schedule to keep, lady.  Get your off of those dirty stairs and on the move.  Pali!”

I shook my head ruefully,  wobbling a little as I got back to my feet, following the determined sway of her skirt like a little duckling trailing along behind its mother.  

I know that purposeful, tiger-on-the-hunt look.  We are going one of two places:

A:  Somewhere with clothes, snobby saleswomen, and champagne  - OR-

B:  Somewhere with men, booze, and music.

Either way, it’s gonna get expensive.

A/N:  Chapter 2 is done!  I love Mallory-she's such a fun OC. :)  And SooMin is a hoot!  Can't wait til SuJu appears...I think this will be mostly comedy & fluff.  If you love it, then sub it! 

Oh- and just to give you a better mental image of Soo Min- she seems like this type of girl, with this type of "look":