There was a tug in his stomach and a lump in his throat.

It was almost as if he could summon these feelings at will. All he had to do was think of the glass of roses on his desk.

A ridiculous part of Chanyeol didn't want these sensations to wear off so he tried not to think about them too much. Was that silly? Probably. Could anything be sillier than getting excited and fluttery and weird over Kim Jongdae? No. So there was that.

The entire thing still bothered him a bit. It felt a little cliché, really.

Chanyeol lightly shook his head.

He wasn't being honest enough with himself. "It felt cliché" really meant "In some way, shape or form, this has probably been expected by others and giving into this expectation means admitting to something you would have refused before" - a bit of a mouthful, but it felt more precise.

"You're kinda quiet today."

It took him a couple seconds to register Yifan's words. By the time he did, he was already subject to a worried glance over their workshop table.

"Did you even note that down?" Yifan then asked, nodding towards the paper in front of Chanyeol. He hummed.

"Yeah. I was just a little absent, is all."

With a frown, Yifan leaned over the table to take a look at his notes, only to reluctantly let him off the hook.

"Alright. Sorry."

Chanyeol shook his head.

"I should be apologizing. You're right, I need to focus."

After all, Yifan was helping their club out voluntarily and no one else could possibly test orbal weaponry and other related projects the way he did. It really was a pity that he chose the swimming club over them but Chanyeol understood the urge to try something new.

"It's okay," Yifan shrugged, placing the rifle and its experimental stabilizer back onto the table. "We're pretty much done, anyway."

With a grateful smile sent his way, Chanyeol packed up while Yifan wrote a little verdict. The sun would set soon, which meant that he should return to the dorm. He may not be on cooking duty, but he’d left his books back there and wanted to get some studying in before dinner- 

"So you don't want to talk about it."

"Come again?" Chanyeol asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder as Yifan waited for him by the door - who graciously waited until they had exited the building and were more or less on their own.

"About Jongdae?"

Chanyeol felt his heart skip a beat - less out of fun endearment and more out of panic.

"Why would I want to talk about Jongdae?" he asked carefully. He considered Yifan his best friend at the academy and it wasn't like he didn't trust him. It simply threw him off guard that he seemed to know. Had someone told him?

"Because something happened between you two?" Yifan asked slowly, as if the question itself was really dumb. "You've been weird at breakfast. Did you really expect no one to pick up on it?"

Oh. Right. To be fair, Chanyeol had internally suffered from what was the most awkward, odd atmosphere - he'd simply not assumed anyone would have noticed because it took form in a seemingly calm silence.

They hadn't bickered even a little bit over breakfast, nor had they quietly glared or pointedly ignored each other. It had been... weird, yes. As if neither of them knew how to act. Jongdae had undoubtedly been embarrassed, keeping his eyes on his food, avoiding his gaze. And Chanyeol had...

"You were so nice to him," Yifan stated blankly. "Kind of freaked everyone out."

"What, because I passed him the salt?" Chanyeol asked, acting up his exasperation if only to mask the heat rising up his neck. Because while he wasn't lying, he knew just as well as the others that their interactions had been different. Still, he wouldn't go down without a fight.

"I've been civil," he said firmly.

"That's what I said," Yifan hummed, and then, after a brief silence, "but again, you don't have to talk about it. I was just offering."

If it was Luhan or Yixing, Chanyeol would have happily taken him up on the offer not to talk about it. Not because they'd be unhelpful, quite the opposite - they'd probably be very helpful. After they were done smirking at him, that is.

This was Yifan though, the one guy who most likely didn't have a solution to offer. Which was why Chanyeol felt himself crumble so easily.

"There isn't really much to talk about," he admitted with a sound somewhere between a groan and a whine. "We had a little fight, made up. That's all."

"Why do I feel like you couldn't be further from 'That's all' if you tried?" Yifan asked blankly, earning himself a half-hearted glare - and another sigh.

No matter how much he thought about it, there was really no sugar-coating this. He knew that. It still took him until they were almost at their dorms to part his lips and actually voice it out.

"I just realized that I don't hate him anymore."

It had come out pitifully small, and, predictably, Yifan only snorted.

"Can you not laugh at me now?" Chanyeol demanded, already bristling. Yifan hurried to hold up his hands in defense.

"You're the one who said it like someone died. Besides, I thought that was obvious by now."

"Not you, too," Chanyeol groaned, much to Yifan's amusement.

"Is it really that devastating of a concept to get along with Jongdae?"

"Getting along is one thing, this is- something else," Chanyeol burst out, only to falter again. Yifan stared at him with furrowed brows until realization finally smoothed out his features.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Chanyeol echoed, in a faint attempt at masking his own embarrassment. "Oh."

"Wow," Yifan added after a short break. "."

Chanyeol nodded.

"Yeah."

It was this kind of eloquent conversation that he could only have with Yifan.

"Didn't know you were into guys," Yifan said eventually, probably because it felt like it had to be said. Chanyeol shrugged.

"I'm not picky."

They came to a slow halt, just out of hearing range of their dorm.

"And are you planning on doing something about it?" Yifan asked, careful and awkward, and entirely non-threatening. It was enough to keep Chanyeol on edge, anyway. It wasn’t like he hadn't thought about this at all but... the mere thought turned his insides to mush.

"God, no," he said decisively, only to ruin the poor attempt right after. "I mean, that would be a terrible idea. Right? With him being a noble, and one of the great houses and . And- and also he doesn't even see me like that, of course. That should be obvious."

He wasn't sure why that last point hadn't been the first to tumble out, and by the looks of it, Yifan was contemplating that as well. Again, it hadn't even been a lie but on further inspection, Chanyeol had to admit that this wasn't about his own embarrassment and more about the fact that he didn't want to ruin what they currently had. He'd be an idiot to deny that on some weird level, Jongdae trusted him. If Chanyeol were to make things awkward now, that would be... hurtful. To him. To both of them, sure, but-

"Since when were you intimidated by noble houses?" Yifan asked, shooting him a look that was just shy of fondness. When Chanyeol only gave him an unsure look in return, Yifan was quick to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's cool. It's not like you have to make some big decisions right now," he said almost dismissively. "You can always sit back and sort yourself out properly. Not like there's a deadline to these things."

Chanyeol nodded, receiving a few pats on his back in reward, and with that, Yifan's moment of decisiveness was over to make room for awkwardness again.

"Sorry. I at this," he admitted, rubbing his neck. "Maybe you should ask someone else for advice-"

"No, it's fine!" Chanyeol cut him off. "Just talking about it was already a big relief."

And talking about it on his own terms was even better. Only Yifan could fall into step with others so easily, mirroring Chanyeol's level of boldness - or lack thereof, in this case - making it easy to express himself.

"So, should we go inside or what?" he said, changing directions. As expected, Yifan followed along.

"Yeah, I should be getting to practice," he hummed as they finally stepped through the low gate. "I hope Suhyun will turn up today."

"Still skipping?" Chanyeol asked sympathetically. Apparently, a previously bright-eyed and diligent girl of his club had started to skip practice a few weeks ago. Yifan grimaced.

"Yeah. Shouldn't be about the exams. The captain actually wanted to talk to her if she won't show up today either- are you alright?"

Chanyeol blinked, belatedly realizing that Yifan wasn't talking to him anymore. Following his gaze led him to none other than Jongdae, who was crouching next to the little bench in their garden. For a moment he, too, thought that something was wrong before realizing that he was looking at some crocus flowers, hands held up before him with his fingers forming a tentative frame-

"Jongdae?" Yifan repeated, and it was enough to rip him back to reality. In a flash, his hands were balled into fists and Jongdae was standing upright, shoulders raised ever so slightly.

"Yes?" he asked, his blasé facade ruined by the heat tinting the tip of his ears. Chanyeol bit back on a smile, but Jongdae had already noticed.

"Just checking if everything’s alright," Yifan repeated, increasingly awkward and confused.

Jongdae nodded once.

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?”

Yifan also nodded now, looking far from convinced but very unwilling to pry.

"Okay. Cool. I'll, uh. Go get my stuff now. Talk to you later."

Chanyeol gave him a quick wave, not quite realizing that he should also be going. The split-second of an opening passed, leaving him behind with Jongdae. Who was still not meeting his eye as he readjusted his bag.

Say something, Chanyeol thought to himself. Now. Before it gets awkward.

"You need help with dinner preparations? It's your turn today, isn't it?"

Well. Those had been words. Now next time, maybe they could be less stupid.

There was a flash of surprise and wariness flashing over Jongdae's face, before he regained his composure.

"Offering help to a noble now?" he asked lightly. "How far you've come."

"Could have just said no, but okay," Chanyeol grumbled, internally scolding himself over being weird. Yifan was right, he wasn't being nearly as subtle as he'd like to be-

"But I didn't."

It took him a full two seconds to register what Jongdae was referring to.

But I didn't say no.

By the time he got it, Jongdae was already shaking his head, already locking up, so Chanyeol said the next best thing.

"Then what's on the menu today? Sandwiches?"

That earned him a glare.

"If that's the only dish in your repertoire, you're better off sitting this one out."

"Oh? Then what are you making?" Chanyeol asked right back, unimpressed.

Jongdae had enough shame in him to at least hesitate.

"Stew," he said eventually. Chanyeol snorted.

"That's a nice way of saying I'll toss everything into a pot and hope for the best."

"I'm not exactly depending on you here," Jongdae countered, no, grumbled, before brushing past him and inside the dorm.

"That's a bold take. Sure it's gonna hold up?" Chanyeol asked as he trailed after him, wondering what exactly he was doing. He felt like some kind of masochist right now, actively seeking out the source of his confusion without a real plan. But the momentum had swept them away because this back and forth was familiar and easy, and it somehow led to them chopping vegetables while halfheartedly arguing about proper stew ingredients. It was all good and peaceful (as peaceful as they got) until a lull in their conversation led to Chanyeol spilling his thoughts some more.

"So... flowers, huh?"

Next to him, the knife paused over a carrot, before continuing its careful, measured movements.

"Do you have an issue with that?"

Chanyeol snorted.

"Good thing you're not defensive about this," he joked, easily peeling off some last black dots before reaching for another one. "But nah. Just surprised. I would have thought you to be the type to gush about architecture or whatever."

After all, that was something mostly nobles took an interest in - architecture was somewhat of a rich people interest, in Chanyeol's book, since there weren't a lot of people with access or the means to travel to fancy places.

He heard Jongdae huff and a quick glance betrayed that he didn't look annoyed.

"Architecture is an art in and of itself. It's simply not a view I'd feel necessary to capture outside of preservation reasons."

Chanyeol took the time to shoot him a shrewd glance.

"Sometimes I get the suspicion that you think I'm too stupid to follow if only you use enough long words."

Jongdae refused to meet his eye.

"It usually works," he said simply, the verbal equivalent of a shrug.

"Is what you think," Chanyeol protested. "But I'm getting used to the noble nonsense talk. What's so bad about enjoying nature?"

"I never said there's anything bad about it," Jongdae echoed stubbornly. "Maybe your listening comprehension could need some work."

"So what has you so embarrassed about it?" Chanyeol asked without missing a beat.

"I'm not embarrassed," Jongdae said weakly, trailing off and giving Chanyeol an instant wave of regret. Had he been pushing for too much?

But half a carrot later, Jongdae picked up where he had left off.

"I just don't really take an interest in buildings and the likes since I see enough of them."

"As opposed to flowers."

It was a bit of an insensitive reaction but Jongdae didn't seem offended.

"Well. I do prefer the sky."

Chanyeol made an acknowledging sound in the back of his throat. He barely saw even a sliver of said sky through the windows, but the light filtering inside the kitchen told him that it had to be a beautiful blend of oranges and gold right about now. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't all that unusual for Jongdae to look at the sky.

"Blue sky or sunsets?" he asked, simply to fill the silence. Jongdae alluded to a shrug.

"Either is worth looking at."

"True. There's something satisfying about it."

Jongdae hummed in agreement.

"It's vast."

Chanyeol thought about it. Tried to picture a young Jongdae hurrying from fencing lessons to study sessions to formal dinners, only to withdraw to his room to study some more. From one hall to the next, surrounded by polished marble stairs and perfectly dusted shelves and shiny chandeliers. Had he even left the estate all that often?

"Guess it's time for you to invest into a camera, then," he said lightly. "Though we can't really speak of investments if it's pocket change for you."

If Jongdae was grateful for the lighter angle, he showed it by giving him a mild scowl.

"For someone who's so focused on painting the entire nobility as wasteful, you're very eager to spend money," he stated, sounding not particularly accusatory.

"Money that's not mine," Chanyeol reminded him with a grin. "Okay but really. You should get it before you graduate. The sky might be blue everywhere, but you're looking at it now, so..."

Jongdae didn't even look up from his cutting board.

"Last time I checked, we still had a ceiling."

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

"Obviously," Jongdae said, and if he was any less noble, he might have rolled his eyes. "You don't tend to be very complex."

"Because you are."

Jongdae didn't have a reply to that, but that was alright. He wondered at what point they had become comfortable enough to allow their arguments to peeter out like that. And whether or not Jongdae was complex didn't change the fact that he never bared himself enough to let people answer that question. Even now, as they were sharing the same space in a rather comfortable silence, Chanyeol was left to wonder what he was thinking about. It could be nothing in particular, but who could really tell? He might just as well think about the same thing that was haunting Chanyeol, could be replaying the past few days in his head and overanalyze last night.

It was something about that relaxed atmosphere that made Chanyeol say another thing he regretted faster than anything.

"About yesterday..."

Jongdae didn't pause in his motions this time but he could see him on his bottom lip. It was a tiny movement, over before he knew it. Everything was happening a bit too fast right now, rushing past him like water refusing to stay in his cupped hands.

"What about it?" Jongdae asked evenly, and Chanyeol inadvertently paused, too caught up in his own embarrassment to keep up the charade.

Yes, what about it? Why had he brought this up now, without a real plan of what to say?

He could hardly say something like 'you know, giving me a rose seems like a bit of an unnecessary length to go to and it kinda looked like a confession and I recently discovered that maybe, I would be kinda into that, so what do you think?'

Yeah, no, he couldn't say that. It sounded ridiculous even in his own head. Presumptuous, too. But what could he say instead?

With every passing second the entire atmosphere between them changed, changing the implications of whatever he could or couldn't say now, with his control over the situation slipping even further away as Chanyeol found himself at a loss.

"Forget it-"

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Chanyeol's mutter was hardly enough to drown out Jongdae's quiet, but clear question.

Startled, Chanyeol shook his head before he knew it.

"What? No. No, of course not. Not at all. Why would I be, right?"

No matter how composed he attempted to sound, he was clearly rambling now. And Jongdae was looking at him with thinly veiled confusion, trying to read his emotions off his face as Chanyeol kept talking.

"I mean, that wasn't your intention, after all, was it?"

It took a second too long for Jongdae to blink, to regain his focus as confusion was coated by a lack of insecurity.

"What was my intention?"

"Making me uncomfortable?" Chanyeol echoed, easily infected by the other's crack in attitude.

And Jongdae... didn't reply right away. Instead, his gaze dropped to Chanyeol's collarbones, to the table, aimlessly searching for something to hold on to.

As if this was something that needed consideration.

Even as he was slowly shaking his head, he seemed to reconsider, instead parting his lips as if searching for the right words. Chanyeol waited, clasping his peeling knife tight enough to turn his fingertips white, while Jongdae spoke up.

"Would it be uncomfortable?"

The question came out quiet - which was not all that unusual for Jongdae. This time, however, it lacked his signature foundation of confidence. This wasn't a rhetoric question and there was no agenda, no waiting for Chanyeol to provide the correct answer.

It was just a question.

One that didn't even make a whole lot of sense, context-wise. One that didn't offer any context either, leaving Chanyeol to fill the gaps on his own.

It was something he was quite used to with Jongdae by now but this time, the gaps were too big, the empty space too daunting and his own thoughts too bold to simply lay them out.

He needed more this time, needed at least a hint, a vague direction, something to work with before he could allow his heart to jump to these far off conclusions. Anything. Which was why he found himself saying what he said next.

"Would what be uncomfortable?" he asked, mimicking the others' quiet tone.

It was curious to see Jongdae like this, to see his hands slowly curl into fists over the table, the knife long forgotten; to watch his eyes meet his, only to flit away in favour of staring at the chopping board. To watch him hesitate, tense and anxious, unsure and careful. He was strangely gentle like this, but not in a way that Chanyeol could put into words right now.

All in all, the sight was odd, fascinating, captivating, and at the same time, it played into the nauseously strong tug he felt as he accepted the hint and did dare to assume.

Jongdae could have shut him down by now but even when asked directly, he didn't.

Right now, he was considering it. He was considering them being something other than rivals, something other than friends, something that a red rose might trigger into motion, and the prospect was apparently neither ludicrous nor disgusting, because he wasn't denying it. He didn't deny it and Chanyeol felt like he was both suffocating and bursting-

And then the moment burst first as the kitchen door was slammed open by an upset-looking Luhan, sending them both jumping.

"Guys," he began, loud and obviously agitated. "Did you hear about Instructor Do?"

"No?" Chanyeol asked, feeling alarmed already. "Did something happen?"

Luhan walked over to them, unable to decide between taking a seat and staying upright, which resulted in him awkwardly slumping over the table with a groan.

"How haven't you heard about it yet?" he asked, ruffling his hair. "Though maybe it's good to know it hasn’t made its entire round yet-"

"Sit," Jongdae demanded, the singular syllable full of calm authority. Luhan complied, though not without rolling his eyes.

"Is he alright?" he then asked, and they watched Luhan grimace.

"I mean, yeah. He's not hurt or anything. It's just-"

He cut himself off in favour of taking something out of his pocket - a crumpled note he was now unfolding and offering them.

"This has been found in both dorms, and in several classrooms and clubhouses as well."

Chanyeol took the note, holding it so Jongdae could read it with him. Instead of handwriting, they were greeted by perfectly even, printed letters.

'Here's three facts about Major Do Kyungsoo.

One is a lie though. Can you figure out which one it is? :)

1. might this be the reason he's been sent to be an instructor? his ptsd is so strong that he can hardly uphold friendships, much less relationships
2. somehow, that didn't stop him from getting involved with a student though...
3. moreover, he's quite busy trying to secure advantageous spots for his own students in the army. is that why he takes so long to grade our homework? :('

At the bottom of the note, it said '...just kidding, they're all true!'

"What the hell?" Chanyeol asked, turning the note over as if to make sure no more nasty surprises would jump at him.

"Yeah," Luhan agreed, crossing his arms. "Someone's clearly out to get him. We tried to get a hold of as many notes as we could, politely asking people not to listen to such nonsense but..."

"Rumors can never be suppressed," Jongdae finished for him. Despite his calm demeanour, he, too, was staring at the note with furrowed brows, searching for clues.

"Not really, no," Luhan sighed. "And quite frankly, there are too many to get rid of them, even though it's not an amount that would raise suspicion among the teachers. Junmyeon kinda disagreed on that, though, and disposed of every note."

All their eyes flitted down to the incriminating piece of paper and Luhan sighed.

"I know. I Guess that makes me a bit of a student council traitor for passing it on but... I don't know. There's more to this. Something is off. I mean, it's not like we have to go out and clear his name but..."

"You don't have to justify this action before anyone but yourself," Jongdae said, surprisingly gently. "For my part, I agree with you. It's something worth investigating and looking into."

"Yeah," Chanyeol agreed without hesitation. "What he said. But with less frills. We can't just let someone do these things and not get called out for it."

A small silence followed, allowing Chanyeol's stubborn thoughts to return to the note.

It felt insensitive to even say it out loud, but someone had to address the elephant in the room, and Jongdae sure as hell was not going to be the one to do it.

So Chanyeol did.

"So, you think any of these are true?"

When Jongdae shot him a scandalized look, Chanyeol bristled.

"What? For one, it's a relevant question if we want to get behind this. And you can't expect us not to care since he's our Instructor."

"And that gives you the right to be privy to his private life?" Jongdae asked right back, clearly taking this badly. It took Chanyeol a second to understand why, to see that the exposure of secret weaknesses hit a little too close to home for Jongdae.

"Of course it doesn't," he finally said, toning down his volume. "Which is why we should find whoever thought this was an acceptable thing to do. Besides, I'm really wondering more about the second and third point. Being part of a war is always damaging, so that one seems like a no-brainer. Anyone could have written that. But the other two..."

"Yeah, like this could probably get you kicked if it was true," Luhan continued for him, oblivious of the subtext happening between them as he forlorny stared at the note. "At least the student one. The last one would probably only tarnish his reputation both as an instructor and a member of the military. Not to mention that it's absurd. Like, why would he go around and get us job positions? If they were his students for only one day, they'd know how ridiculous an accusation this is."

"Though Yixing did mention that he was having quite a few interviews," Jongdae muttered, only to shake his head. "Never mind. His work for the military truly is none of our business."

Like a strike of bad luck, the door opened just then, and Kyungsoo entered, making a beeline for the kitchen counter as he spared them a curt nod... only to pause when Luhan scrambled to rip the note out of their hands.

"Uh. Hi. Instructor," Luhan said, a smile plastered on his face that would have hardly fooled anyone. Kyungsoo shot them a suspicious look that wandered to Luhan's hands clutching the piece of paper.

"What's that?" he asked right away, no, demanded. He never took an interest in their personal lives but apparently, his senses were sharp enough to pick up on the weird atmosphere.

"A cheat sheet," Chanyeol burst out.

"Love letter," Luhan said.

They both glared at each other.

"A cheat sheet?" Luhan echoed in disbelief. Chanyeol crossed his arms defensively.

"Well, seemed like an obvious thing to go for-"

Ever so stoic, Kyungsoo only held out his hand. With a frustrated groan, Luhan gave in, handing over the note.

The three of them watched his face carefully as he read it. Chanyeol wasn't sure why he had expected otherwise, but his expression didn't even crack. There was the slightest furrow of his brows but that was it. He couldn't even say whether he was confused or angry. His voice didn't betray any emotion either, as he returned the slip of paper.

"If you want your homework back faster, make less mistakes."

With that, Kyungsoo turned towards the kitchen isle as if the conversation was officially over. Maybe it was, to him.

"We didn't write this," Luhan burst out immediately, even before Chanyeol could get a word in. 

Now out of everyone living in dorm three, Luhan was easily the one with the most complaints about their Instructor, always ready to whine and accuse him of picking on him in particular (a fact that none of them could wholeheartedly deny). Still, all of them knew that Luhan liked their Instructor as much as everyone else did, so it made sense for him to be adamant about this.

To their surprise, Kyungsoo only huffed.

"Obviously. I was joking."

Chanyeol snorted.

"Wait, that's not funny," he then said, earning himself a weakly exasperated look from Jongdae.

"Then why did you just laugh?"

"That wasn't laughing-"

"It really isn't funny," Luhan grumbled, looking very embarrassed. Kyungsoo only opened the fridge to procure some eggs and vegetables.

"You don't expect me to rise to the bait of some bored child, do you?"

"I mean," Chanyeol trailed off, trying to force himself to agree, as obviously requested. He wouldn't deny the childish, dramatic nature of this, but at the same time it seemed like it could have serious repercussions.

"Childish as they may be, they do accuse you of an affair with a student," Jongdae piped up, much to Chanyeol's surprise. He always treated their Instructor with the utmost respect, no doubt influenced by the Military base that shaped his early childhood years. Now, though, he sounded a little less demure. Not exactly demanding, either, but he radiated a certain calmness and focus, had done so ever since Luhan had burst into the room earlier.

"And you believe that," Kyungsoo stated.

The three exchanged a look, mentally settling for Jongdae, who replied in an equally calm manner.

"Of course we don't."

"Then I don't see the issue here."

It wasn't entirely rude and unfriendly but there was no denying this conversation was over. Jongdae stared at his back for a moment before grabbing his knife again.

"Alright."

Both Chanyeol and Luhan were not done with this but a slight shake of Jongdae's head shut them up. Not now, he mouthed, and they both had to begrudgingly agree. Pushing Do Kyungsoo was like pushing a mountain.

Luhan left the kitchen and Chanyeol picked up his knife again, chopping potatoes while Kyungsoo gave Jongdae some pointers on how to cook a proper stew. Both of them were acting like their talk had never taken place, making Chanyeol battle his complex thoughts on his own.

Just when things had been sailing somewhat smoothly between them and their Instructor. Who would send such a note? Did they have access to his private information? One thing was for sure - this was not the kind of rumor one should have to live with, and going for someone's mental scars was just downright despicable. And no matter how noble and respectful Chanyeol wanted to be, he couldn't help trying to remember when he'd last seen Kyungsoo with... anyone, really. Aside from the occasional, work-related discussion, he came up blank.

Might this be the reason he's been sent to be an instructor?

Chanyeol shook his head. No, he really couldn’t let this go. They had to find the pathetic person sending this note, and he would give that rat a piece of his mind.

And as Jongdae brushed his side, reaching for one of the bowls, he was also reminded of the small, selfish, masochistic part of him that lamented not getting to finish his conversation with him earlier.

There were more important things to think about, but his stomach clearly hadn't gotten the memo yet, judging by the way it flipped whenever Jongdae stepped into his personal space.

That night, they had all met up in Chanyeol's room (the farthest from their Instructor's room on the second floor) and discussed the matter at hand. None of them even expressed any doubt about wanting to find the perpetrator and make him rectify the rumors he had kicked off. Do Kyungsoo might be aloof and excellent at pretending not to care about them but when it came down to it, they all knew he was looking out for them. Maybe now they had a chance to pay him back in something other than passing grades.

They decided to each try and help out in their own way so the next day, they all asked around in their respective environment, trying to find out when and where exactly the notes had appeared. Just as Luhan and Jongdae had predicted, the news had spread like wildfire overnight, with people speculating what kind of student would engage in an illicit affair with Do Kyungsoo, of all people. Chanyeol could only roll his eyes at whoever suggested it to be Luhan, who was his favourite victim when it came to extra assignments. He even heard Jongdae's name float around, and the split-second of worry he felt over Jongdae's reputation made him slap his own cheeks. Caring about the reputation of a noble. Now that would be a new low.

At any rate, the current buzz made it easier to snoop around a little and scour for information.

Luhan, for one, was already back with the student council, no doubt keeping his eyes and ears open. Meanwhile Yixing sat down with some of his noble acquaintances during their break, Yifan carefully probed around the sports clubs, and Jongin sat with Zitao and his noble friends for lunch like it was nothing (because Jongin could be brazen like that). Each of them were doing their part and Chanyeol himself figured that he could strike up a conversation at the club later, no doubt getting a bit of insight from a noble-free space. Or at least it would have been noble-free, if not for Jongdae already occupying the table when he entered.

"Okay," he asked, slipping into the seat next to him and getting comfortable while Jongdae was apparently studying Military Finance. "Why are you here again?"

"Do you mind?" Jongdae asked without lifting his eyes off the pages, though his finger paused on a certain line... only so he could take some notes.

Sitting with his legs crossed, he could soundlessly move his foot from right to left like an agitated cat whippingits tail while he fixated Jongdae with what hopefully looked like suspicion and reluctance.

"What if I do?"

It must not have sounded nearly as convincing as he used to be, judging by the way Jongdae only hummed noncommittally, his mind clearly on whichever string of numbers he was currently writing down.

"You think people will be inclined to talk freely if the most noble kid of the country is sitting here?" Chanyeol continued to ask, mostly because he didn't like being ignored and because it was the first argument coming to mind. He immediately felt bad about it when Jongdae paused, looking... rueful. As rueful an expression as Jongdae could make, that is. Chanyeol gave in right away.

"I'm kidding," he sighed.

"I see your humor takes after the Instructor," Jongdae deadpanned, an unhappy frown that was probably mostly for show.

Chanyeol's thoughts were momentarily interrupted by Mark walking by, carrying an undoubtedly heavy part of the orbal bike over to where the others had prepared a table.

"Oh, hey there, Chanyeol."

"Hey," Chanyeol replied, watching him foregoing a greeting and only nodding towards Jongdae before continuing on his way to hopefully not drop something.

"Uh. Don't take it personally," he felt the need to say when he was out of earshot. "I swear he doesn't mind you or anything."

"I sure hope so," Jongdae said, attention already back on his assignment. "Considering he was the one insisting I may sit here."

"He was?" Chanyeol asked, bewildered.

Jongdae's face betrayed nothing as he seemingly scanned a page. If anything, it was suspiciously neutral.

"I suppose that when he saw me sitting outside, he falsely assumed I was here to see you. It seemed impolite to decline the offer. Besides," he added, taking another pen out of his simple (and probably priceless) storage box, "this is a rather peaceful place to study in."

Mark chose that exact moment to drop something, resulting in a loud, metallic thud followed by a string of half whines, half expletives by one of the others.

Chanyeol's doubt must have been written on his face all too clearly since Jongdae seemed to grow embarrassed under his stare.

"I said what I said," he muttered, going back to his work with the full intention of ignoring Chanyeol, who decided to pick up his current little project - a small, orbally driven airship that they'd hopefully be able to control remotely at some point. As he got all the respective parts together on the table, he couldn't help but ask himself whether Jongdae really had only accepted out of politeness or whether he meant what he'd said. Considering that he'd spent countless hours at a military base as a child, it didn't seem all that far-fetched for him to tolerate noisy spaces. That didn't quite explain what about this gave Chanyeol such an oddly positive feeling though. 

Only as he sat down to take apart the hull of their tiny ship, did he realize that he was proud. Proud of his club members for accommodating Jongdae the way they had, and also proud of Jongdae, for giving a bunch of commoners a chance and seeing their worth. Watching them get along - even if it was still a little shy and awkward - was oddly satisfying, and that train of thought inevitably led to the question of whether or not Jongdae appreciated being integrated like this. It was hard to tell by looking at him, but Chanyeol had learnt to take a step back with Jongdae, and look at the facts. And fact was that he had voluntarily spent his time near their building and was now sitting here with him.

And despite knowing all that, Chanyeol was greedy enough to hope that he enjoyed his company, as well. That he could be part of this relaxing backdrop.

He sure did his part by fully focusing on his work for the following hour. He tried not to get any stains over Jongdae's books, tried not to talk to himself (or any piece of machinery,) and even stopped himself from humming whenever he noticed having slipped. Towards the beginning of the year, Luhan had once said that they got along best when they weren't talking. In a way, that was still true now.

By the time Jongdae did speak up, Chanyeol was so far into the zone that it took him a moment to realize he was being addressed.

"What are you doing?"

He blinked, lowering his tiny screwdriver. Next to him, Jongdae was apparently taking a study break, his full attention on him now. The question of how long that had been the case was threatening to color his ears red, so Chanyeol pushed it aside.

"Taking apart the motor," he explained, clearing his throat. "The plate is fixed here and here. I have to adjust the orbal sockets because they get in the way of things."

Jongdae nodded as if this made perfect sense to him. Before Chanyeol could about it, a glass was set on their table with a resounding thud, making them flinch.

"Whoops," Mark said sheepishly, placing a second glass down. "Sorry. Jinha made this at the cooking club earlier and just brought it over. Thought you could need a drink."

"Thank you," Jongdae said curtly, while Chanyeol used the provided glass straw to stir the brown sugar at the bottom of a drink filled with pieces of lime and a mint leaf lying on the surface.

Mark just waved him off.

"'s nothing. So, finance, huh?" he then asked, a stray look wandering over Jongdae's still open textbook. "Guess you're the best in our year for a reason."

Chanyeol could see Jongdae's jaw tighten ever so subtly.

"That would be Zhang Yixing," he said, perfectly neutral. When Mark nodded, awkwardly exaggerating an understanding expression, Jongdae added, "to my knowledge, your grades are above average as well though, aren't they?"

Mark made an unattractive sound between snorting and wincing.

"That's- an overstatement," he said, rubbing his neck. "I'm doing okay. Didn't think you'd know everyone's grades though. Man. That's pretty amazing."

Jongdae didn't reply right away, clearly stuck on an appropriate response as he was... trying.

He was trying and for all his neutral demeanor and blank expressions, Chanyeol could see the way his hand clenched by his thigh, conveniently hidden by the table. He could see his knuckles turn white, nails pressed into his palm, and under his careful touch, he felt the tension. Jongdae flinched, but Chanyeol spoke up before things could get weird.

"Right? I feel like he memorized the entire leadership board," he groaned, voice not matching the delicate, gentle way he pried Jongdae's clenched fist open. "It's like he's scoping the area for potential rivals."

"That's nonsense," Jongdae said quietly, his voice a tad breathless. Mark chuckled.

"Well, I don't think I'm gonna pose a threat anytime soon, not with how educated you guys are," he joked, only to backpedal right away. "Uh. No offense or anything."

Jongdae only shook his head.

"It's true that people of a noble background start out with an advantage," he said simply, completely contradicting the way his fingers were hesitantly pressing into Chanyeol's now. "But the academy is a playing field that can be evened out by effort."

If Mark thought his way of talking was funny, he didn't show it, instead going for a grateful grin.

"I guess that's right..."

Whatever he was about to say next got stuck in his throat when someone called out to them from the doorway.

"Jongdae."

The three of them turned to see none other than Yixing approach them, strangely devoid of his usual, graceful restraint.

"A messenger has just arrived at the first dorm," he said, completely skipping out on the pleasantries. It was enough for the two of them to get to their feet, drinks forgotten, Jongdae's hand slipping out of his' in the process. Chanyeol furrowed his brows. Yixing had mentioned talking to his acquaintances so it made sense for  him to be at the dorm for nobles, but why would a message concerning either of them arrive there?

"Duke Yoon has been found dead."

"What?" Jongdae asked, sounding mainly confused. "What happened?"

"Hired assassins," Yixing explained gravely. More and more club members were inching closer, listening, but not saying a word. Chanyeol couldn't hold it against them.

The Kim province might be the most influential one in the country but the Yoon province was by far the largest one, covering a considerable chunk of the West. It was, without a doubt, the second most powerful province, and its ruler suddenly passing away like this was not just a big event, it also had an ominous ring to it. Hired assassins weren't as uncommon as Chanyeol would like them to be, but even he could see how this was a bold attack.

"He doesn't have an immediate successor," Jongdae stated right away, as if he knew the family trees of leading noble houses as well as his own. He probably did.

"That's true," Yixing trailed off, suddenly hesitating.

"What?" Chanyeol asked suspiciously. It was apparently the push he needed.

"They took the potential culprit into custody," Yixing admitted, eyes firmly on Jongdae. "They arrested Duke Kim."

Chanyeol felt like the icy revelation only reached him with a delay. For a moment that lasted longer than it should, he thought that he had gotten it wrong.

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop as they all became witness to the utter shock on Jongdae's face.

"You have an uncle, right?" Yixing began carefully, but Jongdae shook his head.

"Not eligible," he said almost mechanically. "My father- the Duke made sure of that."

Yixing looked like he was in physical pain, and his voice somehow reflected that.

"Which means that for all intents and purposes... you're the next in line."

He didn't say anything else after that but the implication hovered in the air, every letter loud enough to snuff out any other thought he had before that.

You're the Duke now.

Kim Jongdae was a Duke now.

Around them, people exchanged glances but no one dared to say a word.

Jongdae himself didn't say a word either, but the look on his face was telling enough.

Mere moments after, the principal herself knocked at the door, demanding to speak with him. With a last, disturbed look thrown towards Chanyeol, he followed after her.

And Chanyeol could do nothing but look at his retreating figure, taking in his straight posture and the way he held his head high, but kept his eyes on the ground.

Chanyeol balled his hand to a fist as if he could cage in the rapidly vanishing warmth he'd felt mere minutes ago.

The rumors about Instructor Do Kyungsoo were immediately forgotten in favour of the news. Not quite knowing what to do with himself, Chanyeol returned to their dorm to wait for Jongdae there. They all met up like this eventually, and gathered around the sofas in the entrance area, patiently explaining to Jongin why this was a big deal.

"So if he's the new Duke now, does that mean he'll have to drop out?" he asked eventually. The temperature noticeably dropped.

"That's the question," Luhan trailed off, while Chanyeol gloomily stared at his untouched glass of water.

It was the only logical conclusion. One could hardly rule a province out of a dorm room.

"But dropping out of school doesn't seem right either," Yifan added, looking conflicted. "Though I guess he has enough resources to continue his education in private..."

Chanyeol wanted to disagree. He wanted to raise his voice, tell them that all of this was nonsense and that staying in school was the smart thing to do.

He wanted that to be true. So badly.

He didn't want Jongdae to leave them now, didn't want his seat at the dinner table to be empty, and he really didn't want to send him back into the ridiculously shiny mansion that felt like an entire city full of strangers.

But was there really any other way?

"You think his father did it?" Luhan asked, voicing out what Chanyeol hadn't even thought about yet, too preoccupied with the present situation to look into what led them there.

"That's for the judges to find out," Yixing said evenly. "Either way, such a procedure will take quite some time and we're unlikely to get any crucial information about the matter before decisions are made."

"In other words, no use asking these questions," Luhan summed it up, and Yixing nodded.

"I heard the empire has an issue with mercenaries," Jongin began, looking every bit as unhappy as Chanyeol felt. "But paying assassins? That's..."

"I know," Yixing said gently, placing a hand on his thigh. "It is no doubt a despicable act. You don't need to censor your thoughts on this."

"Which means that if it's true, this won't be a temporary thing either," Yifan continued, fingers absently drumming on the sofa. ". You can't expect someone of his age to just- rule the Kim province. That's madness."

"Not like that stopped the nobility before," Luhan grumbled, while Yixing shook his head.

"A case like this hasn't happened in decades but it has happened before."

"Can't he pass it on to someone who's capable?" Jongin asked. The mere notion made Yixing cringe, though he made a valiant effort of not showing it.

"It's not that easy. He may have as many advisors and employees as he likes but at the core, the province belongs to the Kims. The people as well as fellow noble houses respond to the Kim family, not just whoever decides to take residue at their home."

Jongin nodded slowly.

"I see."

"Chanyeol."

On his left, Yifan was fixating him with a worried gaze.

"You alright? You're being pretty quiet."

Was he alright? Well, technically, yes. But really...

"No. this."

The others grew quiet at that. Chanyeol tried to keep his anger at bay, but his voice was shaking.

"Chanyeol-" Yixing tried, but he only shook his head.

"I hate this. It's not fair. It's just not fair."

"It really isn't," Jongin said softly, gaze dropped to his lap as the gloomy silence fell upon them once more.

Jongdae had already been working hard every day, was already constantly aware of his impending heritage and responsibility, and this was how the world thanked him? By making things even harder? By cutting short his already brief glimpse at a somewhat regular life?

And Chanyeol had been left with no choice but to let it happen. For all his fight and his harping for justice, there was nothing he could do in this situation. He hadn't even taken the other's hand earlier, when he'd thrown him this desperate look. He'd failed him, and Chanyeol hated that, too.

The moment the door opened, all their heads whipped up to see Jongdae and their Instructor. In a rather untypical display of affection, Kyungsoo squeezed his shoulder before retreating to his room, leaving them alone without any further comments or instructions.

Jongin and Luhan jumped to their feet immediately.

"There you are. We've been worried."

"What are you all doing here?" Jongdae asked, looking just a tad confused, and it was all wrong. Everything about him felt somewhat off. Different. Distant.

Whatever it was, Chanyeol noticed it right away, even if Jongdae refused to meet his gaze as he stepped close enough for the others to fuss over him.

"How did it go?" Luhan asked right away, not even hiding his urgency. "Will you have to leave?"

Jongdae blinked, and then slowly shook his head.

"It hasn't been decided yet. We'll know more in the following days."

"Oh," Jongin trailed off, only to pull himself together with a shake of his head. "You should take a seat. Would you like some tea?"

"Sure," Jongdae said with a hint of a smile. It was obviously more for Jongin's benefit than his own but nobody commented on that. When he sank into the sofa, Chanyeol got a closer look at how pale he looked. His hands weren't balled to fists this time, instead just loosely lying in his lap, but it didn't do much to ease the bad feeling in Chanyeol's stomach.

"So you'll just have to wait for now?" Luhan asked. "Who's gonna make the decision?"

Jongdae blinked. His answer came a beat later than it should have.

"Me. Eventually."

Yixing shot Luhan a look, effectively shutting him up.

"Eventually," he echoed, easily slipping back into his guiding nature. "After you have a sufficient overview on the facts."

Jongdae nodded.

"My butler is on his way here, to provide me with further information."

"You have a butler?" Chanyeol burst out, earning himself no more than a fleeting glance.

"Of course I do," Jongdae answered, eyes lingering on the table. "I have sent him to a school while I receive my own education."

"He can stay in one of our empty dorm rooms," Yixing reassured him right away.

"He won't stay long," Jongdae stated, lacking any sort of direction, but Yixing gladly took over.

"That makes a good rest even more valuable. I'll go prepare a bed."

Jongdae nodded once more.

"Thank you," he muttered.

Chanyeol was itching to reach over the table and shake him, but he wasn't sure whether he'd do it for his sake or Jongdae's.

Jongin served them tea after that, having used some of the tea leaves his family had sent him. It coaxed another, small smile out of Jongdae, but Chanyeol could tell that his thoughts were far away.

He knew that nobles had personal maids and butlers, of course, and he'd seen a few of them around campus - though many of them stuck to the noble dorm or the salon - and felt like an idiot for never questioning Jongdae on the matter. He also knew that maids and butlers weren't exclusively old, and that having lifelong servants around your own age was smart, but he was still caught off guard by the tall young man appearing on their doorstep not too long after, drenched by the evening rain. He seemed about their age but there was something surprisingly... unrefined about him. He looked very serious, a bit tired, and rather thin. Chanyeol couldn't decide whether he exuded the feeling of a competent servant or not, but the way Jongdae listened to his soft, gravely voice suggested nothing but rapt attention and trust. They soon retreated to Jongdae's room, leaving Chanyeol to halfheartedly eat dinner with the others.

It bothered him that he hadn't gotten to catch Jongdae alone yet.

Maybe that would be the new norm, with him being a Duke now.

He showered last, after everyone had gone to bed or retreated to their rooms already. It was an entirely sad attempt that surprisingly paid off, because the lights in the kitchen were on when he left the bathroom, toweling his wet hair.

Jongdae was alone, sitting at the table with his back to him. Before him stood a bowl of leftover dinner.

"Did he tell you to eat?"

He couldn't see Jongdae's reaction and when he returned with a clean glass to take a seat across him, his expression wasn't betraying anything.

"Yes."

And he did, very slowly lifting a spoonful of rice to his lips.

Chanyeol took the glass jar, pouring himself some water to keep himself busy. He'd been so keen on being alone with Jongdae but now that he was, he had no idea what to say.

"He told me to eat," Jongdae repeated, "I told him to sleep. It's what we do."

"Ah," Chanyeol hummed, trying not to be awkward. "Well, you could also tell him to eat occasionally."

"I do."

It was silent after that, and with every passing second, Chanyeol lost his previous urgency. Instead, he let his thoughts wander.

Across him, Jongdae was eating slowly, almost mechanically.

"I guess I've had my fair share of play," he said into the silence.

"I wouldn't call it fair," Chanyeol argued quietly.

Jongdae only hummed.

"They won't like to see a child at the head of the table."

Chanyeol didn't ask what table he was talking about. This wasn't about him understanding, it was about listening. And listen he did, as Jongdae spoke up between the clinking of metal on porcelain that acted as a steady, slow beat anchoring the lonely words trailing into the room with no clear aim.

"And with the accusation of murder hanging over our family, the trust from the other great houses has been damaged, if not lost."

Clink...

"The houses under our wing might see their chance to exploit the momentary weakness."

Clink...

"But if we're too strict on them and rule overly in favour of the commoners, we'll lose their support as well."

Clink...

"War can originate from any of these factions. Especially with the Yoon province being in disarray."

Clink.

Chanyeol looked up to see Jongdae just sitting there, staring at the table without seeing it, the food forgotten. The seconds ticked by.

"Hey," Chanyeol began quietly, worry making its way into his voice, but Jongdae didn't react.

Then, without warning, he let go of his spoon and pushed back his chair, leaving the kitchen with sudden urgency. Alarmed, Chanyeol walked after him, watched him make a beeline for the bathroom.

He heard him retch before he saw him crouching by the toilet.

Chanyeol was definitely the kind of sensitive guy who couldn't stand the sound and smell of people throwing up, but he was by his side in a heartbeat, anyway.

He placed a hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing gentle circles as Jongdae kept gasping for air in between emptying out all that he had just eaten and then some.

He was shaking like a leaf, his wet gasps bouncing off the walls to the point that Chanyeol went to close the bathroom doors, hoping not to attract attention.

When he returned, Jongdae was done, even though he didn't move for the next few minutes, instead heaving for air with his eyes closed as Chanyeol quietly ran his hand over his shoulders, careful not to be too intrusive.

His breathing calmed down gradually, and he eventually got to his feet all on his own, flushing and proceeding to walk to the sink and wash his face. All that he did on autopilot, clearly forcing himself to function even when he had a hard time spreading toothpaste on his toothbrush with how hard he was trembling.

Chanyeol watched him, and a part of him expected Jongdae to throw him out any moment, demanding privacy. He didn't though. All he did was brushing his teeth almost viciously, as if chasing away the taste of bile would erase this moment of weakness.

He was still brushing his teeth when Chanyeol interrupted him by handing him a clean pair of pajamas and underwear.

While Jongdae showered, Chanyeol quickly cleaned the kitchen, his thoughts a syrupy swirl that seemed to lead nowhere. What could he say in this situation, really? If he waited for him in the entrance area, then what?

In the end, he decided to go to bed first.

His door was left ajar though and it didn't take long before the strip of light shining on his bed was blocked by a shadow. Chanyeol stared at it, with his back to the door.

For a full minute, there was neither movement nor sound, and he found himself holding his breath. He was about to give in when the door was closed with a soft click and a weight carefully settled on his mattress. Without a word, Chanyeol lifted the blanket for him, only fully turning around when he felt a hesitant, barely there touch on his back. The moonlight was too weak to make out anything other than vague shapes but Chanyeol guessed it to have been his forehead. It would make sense, judging by the placement of his narrow waist that Chanyeol was encircling now, chin placed on top of his damp hair. Jongdae's own hands were clasped between them, seeking his touch ever so subtly.

In his hold, he gradually opened up, going from curled up and tense to having their bare toes touch, his own hand brushing Chanyeol's side to settle on his back as if he was made of glass.

It was doing terribly inappropriate things to him, considering the circumstances. Up this close, the scent of mint and shampoo was oddly tantalizing, the damp hair and strip of exposed skin right over his pants almost too intimate to handle.

Chanyeol swallowed, forcing himself to get his thoughts in line. This was not a good time for arousal - the reaction may be natural, but all he wanted right now was for Jongdae to be comfortable, and getting hard would be detrimental to that.

As if he'd heard his thoughts, Jongdae's fingers were inching higher, brushing his nape as if on accident, and he pressed even closer.

Chanyeol's breath hitched and there was no way Jongdae hadn't felt him twitch.

In fact, this position betrayed that he was feeling every bit as aroused as Chanyeol himself.

"Was it true what you said back then?"

It was a raspy whisper puffing somewhere against his barely exposed collarbones. Chanyeol forced his grip on Jongdae to loosen up.

"Was what true?" he asked, quiet and more gravelly than he would have liked.

"That you're not a ."

Chanyeol felt the question as if it had been a direct touch, felt it send goosebumps down his arms and tickle his insides, wandering lower.

"Because I'm one."

This tugged his thoughts into a different direction.

Again, something about this was off and despite the strong itch he felt, he couldn't help but feel like this was the verbal equivalent of the look Jongdae had given him earlier that day, when they had led him away. It begged to be further analyzed, to have time dedicated to it. Time of which he didn't have a lot of right now.

Still, while Chanyeol may ultimately be powerless to stop what was happening to Jongdae right now, he at least wouldn’t repeat his mistake.

So he tightened his grip again, drawing Jongdae into a firm hug and ignoring the prickling sensation beneath his navel.

"And you won't die one," he hummed into his hair. "You'll get plenty of opportunities."

It's not over now.

Jongdae made an attempt to draw away but Chanyeol refused to budge, only burrowing his nose further into his hair.

"Don't regret it now," he warned him halfheartedly, his voice about as strong as a cracked glass standing dangerously close to the edge of a table. "If you regret having said this, I’ll take it as a personal affront."

Jongdae stilled at that. For a brief, terrible moment, Chanyeol thought he would leave, but then he muttered, "I can't breathe like this."

With a huff, Chanyeol loosened his grip, allowing him to turn until he could wrap his arm around him, pulling him to his chest and making a modest effort not to press against him too closely.

"Better?"

Jongdae apparently felt no such worries, molding himself against his front as careful fingers found his.

"Yes."

Falling asleep like this was a monumental task but hearing Jongdae falter under the exhaustion and doze off was well worth it.

I made a twitter poll again and you guys chose Kyungsoo! I guess no one would deal with a direct hit the way he does, so maybe you have an uncanny eye for choosing the right people?

Anyways, I'll go and finally work on my exchange fic, and then I'll be back to this fic!
(Because we all know that really, I just want to work on this)
Things are tiring at the moment, so, uhm. We can do iiit!
Much love,
Sugary ♡

P.S.: a fissure can be a fine crack ooor a naturally occurring phenomenon in stone that isn't an inherent problem but might develop into a crack/end of fun fact hour
Please don't make the mistake I did and just image search for fissures