You are my everything
It’ll be forever, my love
- my answer, exo

#

"wow, whats happening here?"

i heard dohyun's voice from a far, at least two tables' distance, asking with his right hand holding his favourite banana milk. not gonna lie, the milk is so good. anyways, i leaned against the black chair that ive sat since this morning and slowly changed my view from the system towards dohyun. i rolled my eyes, as i realised the question is for me.

"this is the tenth time. seriously guys?" i asked, sounds frustrated as i keep on receiving these reactions. 

yea, i wear a dress today— for the first time. i dont really wear dresses to office since we were allowed to wear something casual since our department is not a corporate department. my usual outfit would be any boyfriend or tight jeans along with casual shirts and my converse but here you go.. today, i changed the way i dressed up.

well, just for today. 

for the sake of meeting lee taeyong, i need to dress up a little cute since im gonna meet him along with his teammates today. god. the feeling is the same as if im gonna meet his family members.  we have been together for a few months right now but to find the time to meet him is so— only God knows when, i guess. and it seems like taeyong has set this whole meeting today since he only told me last week. 

"my members would like to see you.. i hope you dont mind,"
he told me, last Sunday when we were having our calls. 

i was so nervous. even until now.

jinyoung's voice makes me turn back to the reality as his voice is quite loud. "someone gonna have a date today, dohyun-ah," he said, teasingly while looking at me at the corner of his eyes. again, i rolled my eyes praying that today will end faster than it should. dohyun chuckled as he placed his drink on the table, "is this for real? who is it, seulgi?" he asked, genuinely as he makesure his position and eyes are on me. 

i shrugged my shoulders as i said, "well, not sure if i can tell you guys now," i paused as i stopped typing the codes, "— i dont think you guys would believe me afterall." then i continued typing off some unusual codes into the Google as i dont understand how should i solve the codes. the system didnt work like how i want, omg. i heard dohyun scoffed (well, i see that coming), as he slowly changed his position towards his laptop to switch it on. 

"well, up to you.. dont forget to introduce him to us," he reminded me casually as he send me a smile, signalling its good to hear i have a boyfriend now. that action of him kind of make me feel better. i know i can trust dohyun. he's the most gentle person i ever met. well, ive been in this team for almost four years now. having dohyun as my teammates is such a blessing. 

even jinyoung and youngdae too.

all of them treats me very well. i mean, they always there to help me even though we dont have such relationships. we would hanged out together, eat, playing games or even when to some concert (i still remember youngdae quietly bring me to iu's concert two years ago) and even send each other to airports sometimes. for jinyoung, well, he's such a brat but we kind of have this love-hate relationship you know. i think, i went to a lot of places with him. 

as i checked on the solutions for the system, i heard youngdae called me as he sit right in front of me.  i raised my eyebrows as i look at him. 

"where will he brings you?" is he being concerned?

"why should i tell you?" 

"of course i need to know. i need to avoid you. theres no point seeing you being all flirty and cutie around him," he said bluntly, just to receive a small kick under the table from me. "yah! im not pretending to be cute!!" i screamed as i kicked his chin and he laughed it off along with the others. jinyoung shook his head as he walks towards the printer, "seeing her being cute would traumatized me!" he chuckled right away after he said the sentence. 

"jinyoung-ah, you should remember that you love pretending to be cute when you see her too!" i told him and he glared at me as he knows that i have seen a lot of those cutesy things he has done with his partner. oh god. i dont even want to remember this. it was so cringe that i felt like my eyes are being tortured. but everytime we mention this, he would be quiet right away because he can't deny the fact he was acting cute. 

well, they say your real self can comes out when you are comfortable with someone you love. 

talking about that,

i somehow, feels comfortable when im with taeyong. yes, he's an idol but i think i change my perception towards idol because of someone like him. as i get to know him for these two months, i can feel the warmth that he have been showering to me. i felt— appreciated? oh god. my insecurities still bad but i forgot all of it when im having interactions with me. 

yes, he makes me feel like a human. the happy one. 

without he realise, he slowly demolished my insecurities that i had since i was young. 

its a healing moment for me when ive got to talk or meet him. i dont know if i take it wrongly, but thats how i felt. to me, having someone that can understand the way im thinking is actually more than enough. taeyong still didnt reach to that level yet, but i can see he is trying without making me feel worry. i have this weird way of thinking sometimes and people tend to think that im overthinking and keep on having these unusual thoughts. i admit that sometimes, it ruins the mood.

as what i know, he was introduced to the public as someone who is shy and introvert. the handsome type of guy that dont need to do anything , i guess? but as i talk to him, (well we dont talk everyday but he would text me everyday) he do knows how to keep a conversation alive. im very grateful for that. i thought he's gonna be the typical cool guy, who dont really lead a conversation but no, taeyong is not that kind of guy.

he knows how to social with people. 

and without i realise, i love that trait of him. 

"seulgi, lets go. we need to go to the meeting room now," i gasped as i heard youngdae calls me out of sudden. youngdae raised both of his eyebrows while holding his tab. after getting my sense back for good ten seconds, i nodded my head and turn my laptop off. "oh right. is this for the network error that we had last week?" i asked, while picking up my laptop along with my notebook to attend the meeting.

"no. isnt it for the latest update that the application team have made for the system?" 

"oh right. i forgot," i blurted bluntly as i walk towards his direction. he send me a confuse look as i get closer to him. "wait, are you okay? you seems lost today," he asked with a very low-tone voice. i shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. as i slide my phone inside my dress's pocket, i answers his question. "not sure. maybe because of the dress?"

"oh shoot. seulgi, you're nervous. not for the meeting but for the date."

"shut up."

youngdae chuckled afterwards and nudged his right elbow towards my left elbow. "im not that curious of the guy but seeing you like this, makes me interested. how good he is that he makes you feel like this? damn. all three of us are losing now," he said, and continues to chuckle. i cant help but chuckled too because of his last sentence. 

"you wont believe me, youngdae. lets just wait for the announcement," i muttered blankly as we get inside the elevator.

well, the conversation did not make me less nervous. lol.

#

stay calm, kang seulgi.

its not a job interview.

its not a personal meeting with your boss.

its not even your first day of CSAT.

it just a small get-to-know session with your boyfriend's friends. not more. just hanging out.

its crazy how my heart beating so fast everytime i received text replies from taeyong. my fingers slowly wrenched due to my anxiety. i dont know why i felt so anxious over this small thing. or maybe, its actually not a small thing. maybe, i should be anxious. because its my very first time meeting people that have been taeyong's strength throughout his years of being idol. they were the one that have never leave taeyong through this whole time. 

oh god.

that thought just stresses me out. 

im just a small— a very tiny part in his life. seeing how long his friends have been staying in his life, makes my shoulder shrinked as i felt that im almost a nobody for him compared to the years that he was with his friends. i heaved my 10th sighs since i sat on this wooden chair, as i sipped the caramel latte that ive ordered fifteen minutes ago. well, ive been on this cafe since fifteen minutes ago. 

i didnt tell taeyong that ive arrived. he told me that he will be there by eight but this my overthinking mind thought that be here by 6 45 pm should calmed my down but now, i kind of regret. i just feel more nervous! oh god. waiting is actually a silence pain. i keep on comforting myself that ive made the right decision. taeyong probably scolded me if he knows that i have been here way too early. 

"lets just scroll down to some new updates,"i mumbled, while taking a deep breathe as i reached for my phone and search for instagram icon. 

i managed to take a small glance over the top of my phone, showing that its 7 28 pm and i closes my eyes, praying that everything will be fine. scrolling down over few latest updates from my friends; didnt help me calm at all. 

or is it the caffeine that makes my heart beating like this? this is so uncomfortable. 

anyways, while scrolling down over some babies updates, ive got a notification from taeyong. while having this anxiety raising in my body, i still managed to click his notification right away. im way too curious to know what is his text. 

from: taeyongie

seulgi-ah. i'll arrive by five minutes. where are you? are you there yet?

i raised my eyebrows, having a little conflict in my mind; should i tell him that ive been here for awhile or not? or should i just tell him that im almost there? within some few seconds, i just typed on whatever i had on my mind. i dont even care anymore how would he react.

to: taeyongie

alright. im already here.. 
just arrived ㅋㅋ

i just waited for his reply right away since i see that he's online. why am i smiling for these, lmao. i start to feel a bit calm when he actually texted me right now. 

and that's better.

from : taeyongie

as expected from my seulgi..
you want to know who will come later? or no spoiler? 👀

i scoffed as i read "my seulgi" and slowly crossed my right leg over the left one; a hint that ive actually getting fine now. wow, just a few text from taeyong can actually makes me fine?