NOTE: Chapter four has arrived and i'm finally introducing more couples. We'll continue with a deeper look into Jaebeom/Youngjae, Jackson/Jinyoung and Jooheon/Changkyun while I introduce Shownu/Kihyun and Jaehyun/Taeyong.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well. thanks so much for all the love and support you guys are giving this story.

“I was hoping we could reschedule?” Jackson says most beseechingly to his manager on the other end of the line. He is just returning home from doing a photo shoot for his latest men’s perfume endorsement, and he is exhausted. What Jackson needs right now is to sleep for 3 days, but his manager is telling him that dance practice for the title track on Jackson’s upcoming album has to resume at 4am tomorrow morning because they are behind schedule.

Jamie sighs, sounding regrettable and apologetic. Since Jamie joined Jackson’s label Team Wang as Jackson’s manager, he and Jackson developed a serious camaraderie and brotherhood. Jackson is certain that if anyone understands his pain, it’s Jamie.  That’s why Jackson is kindly asking Jamie to create some time for him to rest.

Sadly even Jamie sounds like he is all out of tricks as he replies, “Sorry but it has to be done. Your album drops in a months’ time. You’ll get all the rest you need afterwards.”

Jackson tosses his car keys on the coffee table at the centre of his living area and drops on his couch, throwing his head back.

“It’s after 8pm now. How many hours of sleep do I have?”

“If you sleep real soon you’ll get at least 6 or 7 hours. Not bad, right?”

“My life .” Jackson grumbles sulkily. “I want to sleep for 10hours.”

“We love Team Wang, remember? It’s your dream.” Jamie is quick to step in with some encouragement for his boss. “Whenever you feel like dying of stress, think of the passion you have. If that doesn’t work, call Jinyoung. That always helps.”

Jackson hums, smiling affectionately at the thought of his boyfriend. Come to think of it, Jinyoung updated his instagram this afternoon. Jackson ought to check that out. “Thanks. Get some sleep.”

“Goodnight.” Jamie answers and hangs up.

Jackson is happy to have eaten dinner already, so he just showers and goes straight to bed, getting under the covers. He reaches for is phone and goes to instagram to see what Jinyoung is up to.  Jackson smiles finding that it’s just more pictures of Jinyoung, Mark and Jaebeom hanging out. It seems they recently went swimming and had dinner together. the sight is undoubtedly heart-warming and Jackson is genuinely happy for them but he also feels very left out. He misses his friends so much.

As Jackson scrolls some more, he finds that Jinyoung posted some pictures yesterday as well. It’s just Jinyoung and Jaebeom in there. In one picture they are posing in front of some painting, leading Jackson to believe they were at an art gallery or something. In another picture they are eating together at home. The last picture is of them lying down and holding identical books that Jackson assumes they are reading.

They look very close, cosy, happy and content.

Like a couple

Jackson stops himself there and takes a deep breath. He is being ridiculous. Of course he is. He is just fatigued, irritated and he misses his friends a lot. That’s all there is to it. Jinyoung and Jaebeom have been friends for years and nothing even remotely romantic has ever happened between them, Jackson reasons.

It’s that simple.

Yet Jackson can’t seem to shake off the jealousy, annoyance and anxiety boiling in his chest. 

He does his best to shake it off as he dials Jinyoung’s number.

“Hi, baby.” Jinyoung jubilantly greets when his face comes up on Jackson’s phone screen.

“Hi.” Jackson pushes for a smile. “How was your day?”

“Good. We’re getting there. A few days ago I asked Jungwoo to make some fliers for us. He’s got a friend called Ten- that’s a nickname- and Ten is very good at art, so he helped us design the fliers. I must say the inflow of customers has improved a little since we started distributing the fliers.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so proud.” Jackson dramatically clutches his chest. He means it though. In university, Jinyoung studied Literature in Korean, but for the sake of he gave that up not long after getting a good job at a small college. The job was for the purpose of raising funds to open up a café which is his real dream. It makes Jackson so proud and happy seeing his man living his dream.

“I couldn’t have done wit with your never waning support and encouragement.”

“I’ll help in whatever way I can. Don’t hold back from asking for my help.”

“I know.” Jinyoung blows a kiss at his phone and Jackson pretends to catch it.

Jinyoung stands up then. “I’m at the office actually.” He announces. “I did a new paint job in here. Some décor too. You wanna see?”

“Sure.”

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Jinyoung turns the camera away from himself and gives Jackson a small tour of the office, explaining a few things here and there. Jackson likes it. The choice of pastel colours suits Jinyoung very well. “You did a good job.”

“Thanks to JB.”

“Oh?”

“He helped me a lot here. We painted it together and he helped me look for the furniture.”

“Hm.” Jackson feels his mood plummet again. “That’s sounds like fun.” he mutters.

Jinyoung’s face returns to Jackson’s screen. “It was. Can you believe that all Mark did was buying me a vase?” Jinyoung chuckles, shaking his head.

“Sounds like Mark.”

Jinyoung chatters on some more about his adventures and misadventures with the others, and Jackson just hums in what he hopes are the right places. Try as he may, he just can’t muster any excitement

Jinyoung suddenly stops and frowns. “You don’t sound enthusiastic. Don’t you like the colour?”

“It’s fine. I’m sure JB knows best.”

“Are we okay here?”

“it’s just… you could have asked me.”

“You’re not here.”

“Asking what colour palette you should choose for your office isn’t something too hard to do over the phone.”

“It’s easier for me to ask someone who is here, that’s all.”

“Sure.”

“What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that lately I spend a lot of time listening to stories about the stuff you and JB are doing together.” Jackson snaps. “Your instagram is littered with pictures of the two of you…” he trails off.

“JB is my friend.”

“That doesn’t mean he should take my place.”

“No one is taking your place. It’s not JB’s fault he’s here and you’re not.”

Jackson takes that stab right to the chest, and he supposes he deserves it too.

Jinyoung sighs. “We should talk later. Good night.” He ends the call without waiting for an answer.

Jackson is left feeling worse than he did going into the conversation.

********

Jinyoung is still annoyed when he meets up with Jaebeom for dinner after work. They go to a ramen place they often visit on nights like these after working long hours.

Jaebeom immediately notices Jinyoung’s gloomy mood, but he waits until after they are well into their meal to ask. “Is everything okay?”

“No.” Jinyoung answers right away like he’s been waiting for Jaebeom to ask. “You’re ruining my life.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“If I’m not lying for you, I’m defending you.”

“You’ve lost me.” Jaebeom puts his chopsticks down to pay attention.

Jinyoung huffs. “Jackson and I had a fight.” He pauses. “About you.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re my friend. Apparently that’s enough to piss my boyfriend off. If he found out we’re having dinner together right now he’s probably flip.”

“Are you saying Jackson hates the fact that we’re hanging out together?”

“To be exact, he accused you of replacing him as my man.”

Jaebeom’s mouth falls open and he frowns, both stunned and puzzled by this information. “That’s ridiculous. You and I are friends and that’s it.”

“Try telling that to Jackson. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“Maybe he’s just tired and cranky.”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “Jackson and I have done our best to ignore the effects of a long distance relationship but I think we’ve come to a point where we can’t anymore. I’m starved of affection; he is getting jealous and insecure….”

“Would it help if I talked to him?”

“I guarantee that it wouldn’t.” Jinyoung is a prideful guy who wouldn’t normally let people see his vulnerabilities, but the person in front of him isn’t just anyone. Jaebeom is Jinyoung’s better half and they don’t hide anything from each other. That’s why Jinyoung allows his tears to fall and he lets Jaebeom see the pain he is feeling. “I’m so tired of pretending to be happy with Jackson when our relationship just feels like a burden to bear.”

Jaebeom gets up and goes to sit beside Jinyoung then he pulls him into a one armed hug. Jinyoung drops his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder and let’s himself cry.

Jaebeom does his best to shield Jinyoung from the prying eyes of onlookers in the restaurant.

********

“Hey, Changkyunnie.” Jooheon jubilantly greets.

Changkyun lifts his gaze from the magazine he’s been reading for about an hour now. Traffic of guests coming to the resort slows down on weekdays, so it gives Changkyun a lot of downtime even if he’s got one of the busiest jobs around as a receptionist.

He blinks at Jooheon and just about nearly rolls his eyes. Once upon a time seeing Jooheon gave Changkyun such joy, but now he just wants to slap the Jooheon across the face. “What do you need?”

Jooheon is taken aback by the coldness he feels emanating from Changkyun. “It’s lunch hour. I thought we could go grab a bite to eat.”  

“I’ll eat later.” Changkyun mutters with a quality of lifelessness to his tone of voice. Jooheon can’t help feeling disappointed and also wronged by Changkyun’s sudden   indifference.

“Perhaps ice cream later?”

“Perhaps not.” With that, Changkyun resumes reading his magazine, or at least pretending to. He might be good at icing people out, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. He feels awful as well about this situation with Jooheon.

Dejected and utterly confused, Jooheon trudges back to the IT office and he finds his supervisor Hyungwon is still there.

Hyungwon notes Jooheon’s downtrodden manner and asks, “What’s up? Shouldn’t you be going to lunch with Kyunnie?”

Jooheon goes to sit beside Hyungwon, looking every bit as pitiful as he feels. “he said no.”

“He’s icing you out huh.”

“Yes. I don’t know why all of a sudden.”

Hyungwon shakes his head at Jooheon. Sometimes he just wants to smack him upside the head for being so dense. “Word has spread in the resort that you went out on a date a few nights ago.”

Jooheon’s eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yes, and Changkyun heard about it of course. You know how people around here love to gossip.”

“Oh God!” Jooheon groans and face palms. “That was… I have no interest in Im Jaebeom. Mark hyung asked me to go out with him. I couldn’t say no.”

“That’s why you should invest in a backbone. Stop being such a yes-person.”

“Hyungwon hyung, what do I do now? I don’t want Changkyun to hate me because of this.” Jooheon looks beseechingly at his supervisor.

“Start with an apology and then see how that goes.”

********

“In the end I sort of bit him on the arm. In my defence, I was only trying to prove a point to Shownu.”

Youngjae takes notes while saying, “That’s too extreme although I’ll say it’s better than the time you stabbed him in the chest with a spoon. What was on your mind when you bit Shownu?”

Kihyun exhales morosely, “I guess I was trying to goad him into dumping me.”

“Is it because you still feel unworthy of his love?”

“Yes.”

“Let me ask you this.” Youngjae pauses and his writing to look Kihyun square in the eye. “Would you really be okay with seeing Shownu happy with someone else?”

The thought alone makes Kihyun’s heart hurt so much. He couldn’t bear to lose Shownu, yet at the same time he feels Shownu could be dating someone so much better. Kihyun’s lips part as if to say something, but then whatever it is falls flat in the end. “I don’t know.”

“I think the answer is no. Am I wrong?” Youngjae asks, keeping his voice gentle so that his questions aren’t leading. Kihyun is very fragile and emotional which makes him easily shaken and indecisive.

“Shownu has this friend. His name is Shownu. They are quite close. There was a time when I thought they would be better together, but it hurt so much when I saw pictures of them hanging out. Now I hate seeing them together.”

“Are you admitting to feeling insecure in your relationship?”

“I thought it’s clear that that’s why I’m here talking to you.”

“Yes but you’ve never actually admitted it.”

Kihyun chews on his lower lip as he hesitates. Admitting his weaknesses has never really been that easy for him.

 “Okay you don’t need to use words if you’re uncomfortable.” Youngjae helpfully offers and Kihyun gives him a very relieved, very grateful smile. “Let me ask you someone else. Does Shownu know how you feel about his friendship with Shownu?”  

“No. Shownu really likes Shownu. I’d hate to get in between that.”

“Do you have friends?”

Kihyun nods. “One. His name is Minhyuk.”

“What’s the nature of your relationship with Minhyuk. Are you two close? Is he good to you?”

“Our friendship is great. We bicker a lot but I couldn’t ask for a better bestie. It was his birthday recently and I bought him a car with my savings, to show him my love.”

“Wow a whole car? Did he like the gift?”

“Well he said he was a bit overwhelmed but in the end he loved it.”

“Do you normally give people such big gifts?”
“Of course. I like showing the people I love that I love them.”

“Is that all there is to it?”

Kihyun considers that and ponders for a short while. “I guess I also want to be memorable to them.”

“Why use a word like memorable?”

“I guess I feel forgotten sometimes, like I’m easy to replace.”

“Why is that?”

Kihyun shrugs. “I’ve never had that much to offer as a person.”

Youngjae nods and resumes taking notes. Finally after about two months of seeing Kihyun, there is a slight breakthrough. Kihyun’s inner most emotion as are coming to light so now they have to work towards the root cause of those emotions.

“Do you feel replaceable in other areas of your life? For example, at work.”

“I’m a mere paralegal at a law firm, so yes.”

“Kihyun, a lot of people feel that way, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anyone is necessarily that replaceable. The truth is that you have more to offer. We all do.”

“What could that be?”

“I’ll throw that question you. Is there at least one thing you think you do very well?”

Nothing instantly comes to Kihyun’s mind, so he shakes his head. “People say I’m cute, but that’s it.”

Youngjae smiles. “Off the top of my head, you’re very handsome and cute; your voice is very pleasant to listen to and you are a nice person.”

“Do you think so?” a hopeful and shy smile starts to spread across Kihyun’s face.

Youngjae nods, feeling a little bad about how visibly hard it is for Kihyun to believe him. “This is hard for you to believe, right?”  

“Yes. I want to but I just can’t.” Kihyun’s voice cracks. “Shownu tells me things like that and I’m constantly pretending that I get gratification from it. I just want to believe my own boyfriend when he tells me that he loves me.”

“And you will. What you need to realise is that you’re already half way because you’ve taken the first and hardest step which is to seek help. You care about yourself and those around so you came here to become better for their sake and for yours, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good. Meltdowns can happen every so often, but at least you are in touch with your own feelings and you understand why your stab or bite people. We won’t give up until you are all better, alright. Things will be okay.”

Kihyun’s smile is a little more radiant this time and it’s actually reaching his eyes. “Thanks, Doc.”

“You pay a good fee, so I think you don’t owe me any more gratitude.” Youngjae chortles.

Kihyun laughs and reaches for his tea, taking a sip. “How much time do we have left on my sess