“Ji Hyo-yah, wait for me to come home.”

He used to say that every time he left for work. Just before he leaned forward to kiss her, as he smiled showing those straight white teeth and small smiley eyes. And she would not miss a single beat to return those kisses, promising to always wait for him. And she always did.

She still does. Even though he no longer asks her to do so.

Opening the refrigerator to put the barely touched seolleongtang* that she cooked earlier, she sighs. She closes her eyes for a minute to re-gather her energy and goes back to the dining table to pick the side dishes that are also going into the refrigerator. Her skin is pale and her heart is tired and sad.

Little Jin Joo watches as her Eomma stacking up the food that only her who ate those earlier. She knows seolleongtang is one of her Appa’s favorites because it’s healthy. She also knows that her Eomma always makes her father’s favorites because her Eomma loves her Appa very much. Though, her four-year-old heart knows that her Appa doesn’t love her Eomma very much. He doesn’t kiss her like Mi Joo’s Appa would kiss Mi Joo’s Eomma. He doesn’t hug her like Ae Jung’s Appa would to Ae Jung’s Eomma. He doesn’t take her hands like Tae Hyun’s Appa to his Eomma.

He yells. He gets angry. Sometimes he even throws things to the floor.

And sometimes, her Eomma would yell back too.

It would wake Jin Joo up every now and then. And she would feel very scared.

Ji Hyo’s eyes meet hers when she’s still staring at her. “Jin Joo-yah, why aren’t you sleeping yet?”

“Eomma already eats?” She realizes that she’s been sitting down in front of her bedroom door and stands up when her Eomma is on the way to her.

Ji Hyo chuckles. “Yes, Eomma has eaten. Now, come on, I’ll tuck you in.”

Jin Joo scrunches up her face. She didn’t see her Eomma eat. After she ate earlier, her Eomma helps her take a bath and change into her pajama. Then, when she was playing with her dolls, her Eomma went into the bathroom and took a shower. Now she’s cleaning up all the food. Or maybe she missed it?

“Do you want some milk?” Ji Hyo disturbs her little train of thoughts.

Jin Joo shakes her head. “I want to wait for Appa.” She goes and hugs her Eomma’s leg. “Wait together.”

“No, you don’t have to. He’s going to be late again,” Ji Hyo picks her daughter’s little body and enters her bedroom. She doesn’t want her daughter to get her hopes up because, in reality, Ji Hyo doesn’t even know if he is going to return. “There is still some work that needs to be done. You know how hard Appa works for us.”

Jin Joo starts to wiggle to get free from her mother. “Please Eomma, I want to eat dinner with Appa.”

“You’ve eaten your dinner, remember?”

“But Appa has not. I want to see Appa eat and play with him. Please?”

Moments like these break her heart over and over.

“I’m sure he has eaten at the office.” Ji Hyo tries to take Jin Joo’s hand again, but she refuses. “Come on, it’s already late Jin Joo-yah, you should go to sleep.”

Jin Joo’s still not moving and pretends not to acknowledge her mother.

“If you go to sleep, I’ll buy you-”

“No!” She thrashed her fists in the air. Ji Hyo recognizes how similar