You might think that Lisa is luckier than most. And in a way she is.

Sharing a dorm room with someone who isn’t a horrible person? Check. Her roommate also happens to be her best friend, soulmate, and favorite person in the whole wide world? Check. Her best friend, soulmate, and favorite person in the whole wide world also being a really good cook and doesn’t mind cooking for her and feeding her nearly every day, whether it be a weekday or a weekend? The cherry on top of the three-tiered triple chocolate cake, check.

It’s perfect.

It would have been perfect.

The ugly boot kicking in the three-tiered triple chocolate cake, making a dirty ugly hole in it, is that she fell in love with her.

Her falling in love with her best friend has utterly, completely ruined the cake. Stomped on it. Shat on it. Lit it on fire. Threw it in the dumpster. Then set the whole dumpster on fire.

And her feelings for Rosie have been growing exponentially faster and faster every moment they spend together. Every little thing Rosie does or says, Lisa finds endearing. She is obsessed with Rosie’s sleeping face, absolutely enamored with her little facial expressions, helplessly enchanted by the way Rosie moves - whether it be walking, or dancing, or painting. And Rosie’s voice?

God Rosie’s voice.

Lisa feels the heavens welcoming her, clouds embracing her into their arms as she ascends whenever Rosie sings - be it while showering, cooking, or painting. Any time Rosie hums a tune, Lisa melts, her heart flutters up and peeks through her eyes like windows.

And with her falling deeper, Lisa finds it more and more difficult not to just burst out in either scream or song about how absolutely, madly in love she is with Rosie.

And it has made her life a living hell.

Lisa is literally suffering.

And if she could teach herself to not feel the things she feels, she would. If she could reverse the process of her falling for her roommate-slash-best friend, she would. If she could go back to seeing Rosie as nothing more than a friend, she would.

Because one of the stupidest things a gay woman could ever do is to fall in love with her straight best friend. 

But who can blame Lisa, really? Roseanne Park is a very intelligent, very kind, very sweet and very driven woman. It’s insanely difficult not to fall in love with her. She is as close to perfect as a human being can get.

And sometimes on afternoons when she and Rosie are walking connected at the hip - her arm lazily slung across her best friend’s lower back and held firmly there by one of Rosie’s hands intertwined with hers at her hip, Rosie’s other arm slung over her shoulders - their vibe screaming like they claim ownership over each other at the public aquarium one hour away from campus, she thinks it isn’t so bad.

Especially when Rosie is wearing a tight crop top and high waisted, elephant leg jeans that accentuate her hips and hug her perfectly, and the people at the aquarium with them - men, women, people with ambiguous gender expressions - all turn, look, and ogle her.

And Rosie - dear, sweet, oblivious, Aquarian Rosie - wasn’t any more aware about it than a little wild rabbit being watched by a python hidden in the grass, its maw open and ready to sink its fangs into its prey at any moment.

Lisa would have been uneasy. She is. But having Rosie basically be a human towel wrapped around her gives her great comfort. They’re even wearing matching necklaces and matching rings.

It gives a very, very clear message to all who dared to even think of making a move on Rosie - that Rosie is hers.

Not officially. Not in the way, Lisa wants her.

But Rosie’s attention this afternoon is all hers and hers alone. It’s their day. It’s their trip. It’s their time to unwind.

So, she’ll play the possessive butchier girlfriend in a baggy hoodie, baggy jeans, chunky white sneakers, and worn out white baseball cap in everyone’s eyes and keep her best friend away from predators and all to herself.

“Lisa, I’m hungry,” Rosie whines, pout etching her features. Lisa fights the urge to boop her nose and kiss her cheek, so she just laughs.

“We ate before we left and we ate on the bus on the way here, Rosie,” Lisa reminds her.

Rosie whines, pout deepening. She lets go of Lisa’s hand on her waist, takes Lisa’s other hand and puts it on her bare midriff.

“There, feel how hungry I am,” the blonde says.

Lisa’s skin tingles where her hand comes into contact with the smooth expanse of skin on her best friend’s stomach. She feels heat crawl its way up her neck until a light blush settles on her cheekbones.

She is reminded once again how hellish it is to be gay and be in love with your straight female best friend.

But vibrations cut through the haze of gay panic threatening to overcome her mind. Rosie’s stomach grumbles like a loud angry monster, demanding its fill.

Lisa bursts into loud, boisterous laughter.

“Okay, okay, we’ll get something to eat,” she concedes.

They walk around for a bit, looking for the food court, Rosie displeased that she doesn’t have food appearing magically before her at that moment and Lisa just dragging her with a grin, reminding her that they’ve unfortunately eaten all the fruit they packed as snacks.

They finally happen upon the food court a few moments later. Asking around for where it is would have sped up the process of looking for it, but Lisa kept teasing Rosie incessantly and Rosie got annoyed that they started bickering.

It was playful bickering on Lisa’s end, but Rosie wasn’t playing. They were making a lot of noise and acting like children that families and couples ended up keeping away from them, so Lisa ended up not being able to ask anyone for directions to food stalls or restaurants.

They settle on a table somewhere around the middle of the food court since the tables closest to the food stalls were already occupied by people.

“I’ll go buy food for us as my peace offering, what do you say?” Lisa extends her olive branch.

Rosie glares at her. Lisa scrunches her nose and smiles.

“My treat,” the photography student adds. “Truce?” Lisa extends her hand.

Rosie looks at it, rolls her eyes, and then takes it.

“Fine. Truce.”

Lisa grins.

“I’ll get you your favorite vegetable wraps and some sweet tea. Then maybe ice cream when we’re done. My treat, too.” Lisa finds herself unable to butter up and spoil her friend.

A begrudging smile spreads across Rosie’s features.

“At our favorite ice cream place near the campus?”

Lisa laughs.

“Yes, yes.”

And that seals the deal, it makes Rosie’s smile permanent and makes her nod.

With that, Lisa turns around and leaves her to buy their food.

Food buying turns out to be a nightmare. Somehow, right before Lisa falls into line to place her orders, everyone in the Aquarium that day seemingly decides they’re all hungry also. When Lisa checks her watch, she sees that it’s 15 minutes to noon, and realizes that’s probably why Rosie was already hungry, too.

It takes Lisa 10 minutes to place her order. Another 10 minutes to wait for it to be prepared. By the time she’s paying for everything, her own stomach is grumbling its complaints, too.

Lisa picks up her receipt and the change and stuffs it into her pockets quickly, not even bothering to check or count it. She can do that later after they’ve eaten or during. She realizes Rosie must be fuming again and irritated by the long wait when she arrives with her food.

Lisa braces herself before she turns around to walk towards their table, mentally readying herself to explain that there was an influx of customers in case Rosie was mad about waiting.

But when she turns around, the scene she sees at the table isn’t what she expected at all.

There was a tall man standing in front of Rosie, smiling at her.

And Rosie was smiling back.

Lisa finds herself frozen in her spot.

This wasn’t what she expected at all.

The ugly green monster of jealousy rears its head in her, before she can stop it - before she can remind herself that Rosie is straight and is just her best friend, not her girlfriend.

And then something happens that makes something in her snap, powers her legs to walk quickly and furiously to cross the distance between the stalls and their table.

Lisa sees the guy pull out his phone and hand it over to Rosie, Rosie taking it, quickly tapping a few things on it and handing it back.

Lisa had only been gone from Rosie’s side for roughly 20 minutes but a python had already somehow found its way to her.

And worse, it looks like it also managed to get her number.