Chasing Winter

“Oppa, let’s go outside and play,” you hint, losing your patience.

But his eyes are glued to the book, pencil and rubber in his hands as he scribbles away on the page something you'll never see twice in your life. You roll onto the carpet, hammering the floor to get his attention but to no avail.

“Why does it snow in winter?”

“Is that why we feel cold?”

“How come you hate the cold? And why are you ignoring me--”

Sneaking up, you grab hold of the frame of the book cover.

“--Hey!”

There is no saving your distress now. There is just under an hour until the meteor shower he promises to take you to see outside. But you can not tell him, because you want to see if he can remember. As much as you are refusing to believe it, you are officially jealous over a book. His composition book, to be specific, which is purple, his favourite colour. You wish you can be his favourite, too.

You go to the grumpy corner you made for yourself, drawing circles on the frosted window sill and watching the snowflakes prance to the ground. You don't usually like to sulk, but this time he is leaving you no other option. It isn't before long he notices your inner complaining, though, and shifts in his position before standing up and pulls a blanket around the both of you. So maybe this time he's really gone overboard with ignoring you... He tries hard to win your attention back, and lets you know he's sorry by starting the conversation.

“Here, that way the both of us can be warm.”

He likes using that excuse, so he can snuggle with you, but you don't buy it this time.

“There’s no heater in my room for the winter… but you can use me if you want.”

You flush bright red, and he is stupid enough to mistaken it for your anger.

“…Are you still mad?”

His hair looks almost obsidian in the room light, and his voice just as husky. You can feel the hot trails of his breath tingle down the skin on your neck as he whispers into your ear.

“Or did you… still want to play?”

Yeah, he has definitely forgotten.

But before he can taunt you further with his killer looks and sweet words, his mother comes from the foot of the staircase and calls the both of you down for dinner. For the time being, you are saved. The smell of waffles and the familiar cooking of his mother’s dishes wafts to your nose, rejuvenating you. It is not until dessert time that Hoya's mother raises a fabulous idea and rescues you, yet again, from the awkward raft of silence standing in the way between Hoya and yourself.

“Why don’t you kids go float paper boats in the park, or stargaze at the summit by the villa, like you used to.”

You dig your fork into the overflowing strawberry goodness of the food, judging from your peripheral vision Hoya’s unfaltering eyes. You don’t have a clue what he finds so interesting behind that composition book. Surely, he doesn’t even worry if you're mad at him. By next year, he probably won't even know you exist.

Hoya senses your attention on him, and then his mother’s, and clears his throat before closing the book and placing it beside his plate on the dinner table.

“I want to, but Hoya doesn’t—” you mumble, only to be interrupted by his fluffy, mellow voice.

“Let’s do that.”

He takes the hot cocoa in one sip before pulling you out of your seat and brings you far from his mother’s scrutiny, into the backyard shed. There, you find holiday equipment, paint cans you guys used to use in the summer, and shoe racks with a set of rainbow footwear sitting on it, waiting to be worn. He urges you to take a pair as well, and you fail to keep your excitement. The thought of being able to finally step outside of the house is so overwhelming that you don’t hide in the least from Hoya the beam that has stretched across your face.

So maybe your last night here at the villa with Hoya isn't going to be so bad.

Slipping on your bright yellow snow boots, you follow him out into the glittery hills, mantled with thin wispy trails of snow that would have covered the plain entirely if not for the kind neighbour who ploughed it away every so often during the day.

You don’t expect him to, but he makes sure he keeps you close to him at all times. He even grabs hold of you hand, and the coldness of it must surprise him because he looks at you funny in the eye. That doesn’t stop your heart from beating quicker than usual, though. It is not often he takes the initiative to do something like that.

“Are you cold still?”

You shake your head, forgiving his coldness to you earlier in an instance, like snow disappearing in the sun. Usually, Hoya’s afraid of the cold, but the fact that he’d come out all the way here just for you with you tonight made you feel sort of guilty. You didn’t understand how someone as bulky as him could even get cold.

“Oppa, what were you composing?”

He smiles at you, gesturing you over.

You don’t understand, until he sits you on the ledge over the entire expanse enclosing his holiday house and pulls out an all too familiar notebook from the biggest pocket of his backpack. It is the one with a collection of empty pages he uses to write lyrics for songs he wants to compose whenever he has the chance to.

“Nothing, see?”

Of course. How could Hoya tell you he was scribbling miniature pictures of you on his book. How could he tell you he was trying to get your attention, and that he liked it when you were jealous because he wasn't spending enough time with you. He only told you it was his composition book because he didn't want you to keep asking him what he was doing every time he was drawing in it. 

“Oh…” You are hoping he was reading up on your favourite astronomical craze, but that worked too. So he was just pretending to read, just to annoy you. Or so you thought.

“____...”

“Mmm…”

“I'm cold now. Can I... borrow y-?”

“Sure.”

You loosen the scarf from your neck before he finishes his question and throw it over him. You pack it in real nice and close so that you can hear the cute muffling of his words the next time he speaks. At least that way you know he is warm.

“There, now you're as warm as me.”

But Hoya is not happy. He wasn't asking for your scarf. He wanted to ask for you. The only reason he was ever able to stand winter was because it was the only season that provided him an excuse to hug you. Moments pass, and the winds get colder. Hoya grows impatient. He is fidgeting, wanting to hold you but at the same time not wanting to startle you. Unlike Hoya, next to him, your body is probably like an ice cube. Removing your scarf, he rests it back around your neck when he sees you falling asleep on him.

It is now that he decides to give you a surprise.

“Look! Shooting star!”

Thinking only of the moment you had been waiting for since forever, you whip your head to the front, freeing your conscience from all slumber, hoping you’ll catch sight of the rare meteor shower that only happened once every who-knew-how-many-million-years you wanted to see in the midst of winter.

“Where?—” You turned your head back to face Hoya, screaming once more, but that is when you notice that you are tricked. Facing you was no longer the cavity separating the two of you, but his outstretched arms as they catch you when you lean back. The image of you sitting in his embrace turns your face redder than a tomato, but when you thought it could have been worse--like your lips barely brushing past the apple of his cheeks, for example--you cool down a bit.

“Yah! That’s cheating!”

“Not if you like it it’s not.”

Clearly, he is satisfied. He doesn't want to let go.

“I- It’s not like that at all!”

You sit up again, which draws from him a little frown... Actually, it was like that. You never thought someone so afraid of the cold could even possess such warmth. You wouldn't mind having him as a portable heater during the winter. But still, you couldn't give in so easily. Not after he decided to annoy you back in the bedroom with that book of his...

You try not to look too suspicious with your dishonesty but your eyes darting everywhere give you away. “I... like the cold.”

“I am cold. Does that mean you like me too?”

Damn him and his beautiful smile. Now you’ll never win.

“I- I meant a different cold! The weather, cold!” That isn't completely a lie. You always found pleasure in watching the snow fall.

He doesn't stop it with the excuses. “Can't you just still let me hug you though?”

“Am I your teddy bear?”

He knits his eyebrows together in confusion. You aren’t sure whether it’s directed at your comment in denial, or your reaction to his surprise for you in general. You wait for the moment to die down—the pace of your heartbeat as well—before hearing him continue. 

“...Yes.”

You can spend all night teasing him like this. You are having way too much fun to stop now.

“What if I freeze to death?”

“Heh, serves you right for not bringing an extra jumper...!”

But instead, that incites the opposite reaction, which you are half expecting anyway. He leans in close and you can feel his breath on you, which immediately impedes your aimless ramble. If there is one thing you hate about Hoya, it’s how he can tease you so naturally and get away so easily with it without feeling too guilty about it.

“But why would I need one, when I've already got you?”

He was about to hug you again, you can tell, when suddenly in the background, streaks of bursting white line the horizon, like fireworks and rockets wearing down on the black canvas. You have never seen anything like it before, despite Hoya taking you to the summit all the time.

“It’s beautiful,” you start, only for it to be turned into something cheesy for Hoya to catch onto again. You notice his eyes have not left you since the opening of the phenomenon right through to the end of it.

“Yeah, but you're more,” he breathes.

Ugh.

So. Cheesy. Cannot. Take.

You give him a shove. “Where’d the cool Hoya I used to know go? Eck, you'll never find a girlfriend.”

But before you can even make another cocky statement, he draws your lips together in a single motion and nuzzles your nose with his. He kisses you for the first time ever. You tip your chin back to get a better taste of his lips, and you can’t help but think what a minty, cherry flavoured breath he has. No wait, that was an understatement. He tasted like heaven.

“Who said I'll be needing to? I've already set my eyes on one, right here.”

After that, he hugs you longer, you in his lap and his hands around your waist as the two of you stargaze. You keep replaying his words in your mind and try hard not to burst out in laughter, happy he has finally confessed something of the like. Normal, awkward Hoya is cute, but protective, loving Hoya is still the cutest. A few moments of silence come and claim you as you rest your head on his shoulder, embracing his bodily warmth. You don't have to lift your head up to see his face to know he is smiling his gummy smile.

When you both had your share of connecting constellations and whatnot, he stands up, waiting for you to follow suit.

Glad to have successfully sighted the meteor shower--and that he's finally won you over--Hoya and you decide to walk hand in hand by the lake before making your way back to the villa. You didn’t take any photos of the natural phenomenon like you planned to, but that was okay. For some reason, your mind is only occupied by memories created with the person beside you. Noticing your disappointment when you guys reach an empty dock, he insists that you guys fill the camera you brought especially for the meteor shower up with selcas of yourselves.

You laugh terribly at his attempt to imitate funny faces, but that only ends up in your loss again because then he will tell you that he only does so because he doesn’t want you to look like the ugly one in the photo. Then you punch him, and go on trying to compete making the ugliest faces you guys could.

Satisfied after ten rounds, you notion for him to take you back to the house because you are afraid he will catch a cold with only a thin tee under his hooded jacket on, though you are kind of disappointed the night has to end here.

“…Am I cool yet?” He asks, helping you up onto the porch of the villa before getting up on it behind you himself.

Navigating through the dark with his back shielding anything dangerous from you, you give an equally modest reply. Sarcasm intended. “Hm, I still have to think twice about that…” He pouts, giving you a face that signals his unrest, “But, since you’ve fulfilled my wish tonight, I’ll give you an evaluation mark of… this much more?” You show him a tiny space, separating your fingers, laughing shyly.

But not wanting to lose the seriousness of the situation, he holds your wrist, and leans in real close for the millionth time. You hitch a breath. Tonight, you’re out of luck.

“Next time you say that, you leave me no choice but to do more than just hug... kiss you again...”

You hear him smiling into his words, which sends shivers down your spine in the doing. He takes a tiny step back, but you stop him, before he lets go of your hand and retreats into the shadows down the corridor into his bedroom, leaving you to face the remainder of a winter night alone in yours.

“See you tomorrow,” you expect him to say, but instead he turns around at your command and bends down until he is at eye level with you. His eyes soften in the tinted moonlight, lips curling into a cute sort of smile, and the winds howl words of a vow behind your back.

“Am I supposed to turn around and tell you goodnight, or did you want me to be honest and stay? Because for a second, I was actually hoping you had wanted to return the favour…”

You aren't sure if he means the kiss, but nevertheless you only stare at him, too embarrassed to tell him.

“Stupid,” you whisper.

“So I’m guessing that’s a yes?” He never fails to read your mind.

“Idiot,” you say again, now unable to look into his eyes; the same pair that can make your knees wobble in weakness with just a glance. You don't mind huddling with him right now, but instead of the hug you're expecting, he plants a kiss on your forehead. 

“I guess you're screwed then. Because this stupid idiot loves you too.”

And suddenly, you’re smiling.

Well, that you can definitely get used to.

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a/n: who doesn't love a romantic, huggable Hoaegi? ;_; lemme cry. p.s. oh and just realised how stuffed up my description of the meteor shower was... just imagine you guys kissing under it okay!?? looool xD