A trip to the hospital had never been this long...

It was mid of January. Both Christmas and New Year had passed yet the start of snow had just started. Yerin huffs with white, hands trembling from the cold she was never used at, her legs shaking from running too much. It will be a lie to say that it was easy to maneuver around when it's Sunday, almost everyone getting ready to go to the mass. Every move she made felt a little heavier, every breath she takes felt a little denser and she struggled to keep herself from being breathless, cold as she breathes in from , and every beat her heart had made felt little louder for her ears, felt a little painful for every pound it made.

Still, she couldn't make it for herself to believe that it was merely because it was Sunday and there were many people around that she felt suffocated. No, she wants to think that it was the sole reason. That the reason why she was rushing forward to the hospital was simply it was because it is her job and that she's there to save lives.

'Right... She still has lives to save...other lives to save. How ironic...'

"Hey! Watch it! you almost spilled on-- Yerin?"

"S-Sowon?"

The running marathon inside her chest finally slowed down, the fog seemingly had cleared up for a second as she brushed her knuckle against her eyes, "Unnie..." She sighs, "What's up?" It almost felt like a whisper, how soft her voice how sounded, and the taller woman can't help but smile a little, inch a little closer, and grab a hold of that now frail figure.

In this cold, the embrace that was of Sowon felt a little warmer, but still, It couldn't warm the cold that was etched around her body, like it was stuck around her body. it did help though because she felt as though she will fall the moment she halted.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." But Sowon knew she isn't. She knew all too well that she just acknowledged it, not saying anymore word as Yerin covered her facade with a smile. A smile that felt like it will soon break even with a gentle touch, a smile that will never reach her eyes probably in this lifetime.

"So...umm, want some coffee?" Right... coffee, "SinB likes that..."

"Yerin..." 

"Where did you get that, Unnie?" Sowon bit her lip, eyes searching through those clear mirror now a little blurred. She opened to say anything, but can't find any words only closing it to purse her lips before saying a word. "The one...across..."Where you met her, Yerin~ah...

She smiled before those legs moved again, leaving behind the offering comfort she knew will never be enough anyway. I'm sorry.

It still the same. The cafe where she was studying for med exams and that fateful moment she met the love of her life, SinB, and just like that name, the love of her life came to her life in such mysterious ways she needed her to be. Not only did SinB mysteriously appeared from the counter to her side when she was falling, but the said girl also mysteriously made her fall in love, so deep that her friends cringe at the very sight of them.

"I love you..." Yerin couldn't forget those vows, the words of forever, of protection and love. She couldn't forget every single detail of their journey that once felt like a blur whenever she had the girl in her arms.

The taste of coffee was still as bitter as when she first tasted, she remembered how she used to scowl whenever she needed to drink the damn liquid to stay awake and review all her notes for her med school, and how it turned a little sweeter when she first had her coffee date with her lover. Like the creamer in her poorly made americano, making it sweeter and bearable for her sweet tooth. She's probably more than that, but Yerin found it befitting as she continued to sip the coffee in her hands.

Still, no matter how much sweetener she adds, the coffee will remain bitter and bland for her taste buds. She would drink every day, but only trying to find that sweetness that lingered in her tongue whenever she was still with SinB. It's still bitter, SinB~yah.

Her trails continued thereafter, not lingering any longer since she cannot find that tender sweetness she longed craved in her coffee only to halt a few steps after as her gaze turned to a familiar flower she used to come by for heaven knows how many times.

She remembered standing at her very same spot, trembling under the same weather, and eyes on the many flowers inside that store. She couldn't believe herself demanding for flowers that represented Sinb when it's dead winter and all the flowers were out of stuck, she remembered pleading because SinB was so down and she couldn't bear the sight of her lover unable to smile.

And here she was, back once again, in a much terrible and pitiful disposition, looking out for flowers that will represent her love for her lover. But how exactly? What was she exactly trying to do here? What was she exactly hoping for when she asked for flowers? Her laugh? Her smile? Or, does she hope that SinB would miraculously come back and tell her 'love'?

"Miss Yerin?" Yerin looked up to the call of her name, momentarily out from the daze inflicted by her haywire of thoughts. Right... The florist... "Yuna-ssi? Was it?" 

The woman only smiled per usual, however, not as brightly as she first came to this flower shot, nor was it as playful during her second, instead it was a little softer, sadder. It was peculiar actually, how the other girl seems to know what she was feeling. The florist nodded, before walking out of the counters and taking out a small pot of flowers.

"W-What is this?" She asked, confused before the florist tenderly held her shoulder, leaning closer to her ear, "Give this to her... she had waited long enough."

To say that she was confused was an understatement. She would've questioned the florist, but deep down she knew what Yuna was talking about. She had made her wait long enough, for way too long.

Suddenly, the fog seems to be back as tears welled her eyes. She bit her now chapped lips before harshly wiping the tears that had fallen against her cheeks, "I had waited for a long time too." She cracked, wanting to argue, but she could only turn back and continue her walk.

Once outside, what welcomed her was the color of white, marbles of snow slowly falling from the sky, slowly coloring the world with white. Some people looked around, stayed and stare in awe as the first snow had descended throughout the city. Yet what fell to her mind was a flash of memory that slowly colored her life in white. She felt colder and the tears in her eyes had already threatened to fall.

Her legs were frail yet she kept moving, unknowingly clasping the flower around her chest as she hurried her steps. Hurrying, huh? Never in her life would she hurry to reach a destination with vivid sadness and regret yet her body moved on its will, seemingly running towards its dead, but she couldn't stop, she knew that she had already taken a long time pacing out and waiting for a ride that will never come again and pick her up.

And when she did, now finally beside the love of her life, all she could do was sit there and watch, look at the frail yet still beautiful woman who had made her the happiest woman alive. Those long black locks, the long lashes, and tall nose, thin yet kissable lips and pale skin. Heaven knows how much she craved for those lips to kiss her again, take her to breathe away, and how much she craves to mark that pale flesh and mark it for her own.

She held her hand, brushing her lips on her knuckles like she always does. "Bi..." And she called her name, still feeling foreign, how she longed to call her name.

"Bi?" SinB raised her brow, seemingly amused at the newfound nickname she gained just minutes ago. "You're in the same bed as mine but you're calling for another? Now tell me who that is?"

Yerin remembered punching her arms lightly before hugging her waist and snuggling deeper in the crook of her neck, "Stop joking. You know that it's you, right?" 

And Sinb would chuckle before lacing their hands together, "I love that..." She would sincerely say, before breaking to a big grin, "You sounded so y just now." 

And the playful banter would unfold, throwing pillows at each other before ending up under the covers again. 

Yerin missed that, and she would seek for that same warmth, holding SinB's unresponsive hands. She bit her lip at the thought but shake it away a second later. "You know..."She finally started, staring at her lover peacefully sleeping. Oh, how she wished she was just sleeping. "I've bought a flower just now. Though thinking about it, I never really paid for this..." she chuckled, tenderly leaning her cheeks to her lover's hand.

There were so many words she can go on about, tell about her day and she knew that SinB would continue to listen. Sinb was just like that, listening to her every word with a please smile. She can go on and on and SinB would stay, she would always for Yerin, and Yerin knew that.

The evidence being now. She knew that SinB was barely hanging on, holding on with the help of machines that surrounded her, keeping her alive when she couldn't anymore. SinB would always wait for her till she's ready. Yerin knew that, yet...

"I'm sorry..." she croaked, "I'm sorry t-that I've been making you wait for so long."

"I'm sorry that I can't even make you rest when should've. I'm sorry that I'm selfishly keeping you here when I know that you've been waiting to go. But Sinb~yah... don't worry too much now... I-I can manage now. I... I will cry when I need to, I will eat my meals properly, I promised that I'll hang out with Sowon and Eunha even though they're cringy... I promised... I promised that I'll live for you so...you can go now, Bi~" 

"I'll be fine now...love."

And with one final squeeze, as she let go of SinB's hand, the love of her life had finally let go as well. Along with the blaring beep of the surrounding machines, and the cry of her love... The first fall of snow was the last time she had held her lover's hands.

'I'll let you go now, Bi'