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Seokmin’s tears stream down his face relentlessly. His lips were trembling and he’s bawling loud. He knew it was late at night but was there really not a single soul out there who could help them?

 

“Help! Somebody, please. Please, help us! M-My girlfriend… Please!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. Seokmin wasn’t feeling any pain so he had no idea how badly injured he was but he couldn’t feel his legs at all and he could barely move. It took him several minutes to even just lift his arms up.

 

“Please, please, please!!! Help!!!” he shouted once more. He sounded desperate. His throat was starting to hurt, his voice strained from his efforts but still, nothing. Absolutely no one was there. His sobs got even louder. He was losing hope.

 

He clenched his jaw tight as he clawed at the asphalt. At this point, he could only move his arms and head. The rest of his body wasn’t cooperating but he needed to get to her. His girlfriend, his poor girlfriend was unconscious, lying on the cold asphalt in a pool of her own blood.

 

“! , this is all my fault…” Seokmin closed his eyes shut, squeezing out even more of his tears. They were on their way home when they suddenly got into a huge argument. He had let his anger get to him and started to swerve like crazy to scare her but then he lost control of his car.

 

Everything happened so fast. The next thing he knew, they had crashed hard against a concrete wall.  The boy punched at the ground in pure frustration. How could he let this happen? Just how? As he looked up again, her beautiful face riddled with shards of glass was paling, fast.

 

It was like the longer he looked at her, the paler she got. She was so still it was making his heart beat nervously inside his chest. “Oh, please God. No…” he whispered in between his sobs. He tried to move faster but it seemed like his arms were giving up on him.

 

He couldn’t drag his heavy body anymore and she was still far away. It was like the harder he tried to get to her, the farther she became. He reached his hand out to her, desperately wanting to even just touch her but she was just… too far.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love,” he chanted in his head until his crying subsided and he out.

 

 

~bzzz bzzz~

~beep beep beep~

 

 

Seokmin urgently opened his eyes and jolted up from his bed. He’s breathing hard as if he had been running a couple miles instead of just sleeping. There were beads of sweet covering his forehead and his cheeks were wet with what he assumed was tears.

 

He looked around frantically but as soon as he realized that he was in his own room, he gradually started to calm down and breathe normally. He dropped his head in relief, closing his eyes for a moment. His reoccurring nightmare of that car crash has never felt this real before.

 

He had grown used to it after several years of having it. Several years of ignoring it, several years of trying to convince himself that it’s all just a bad dream and now it felt as though his efforts had gone down the drain pretty fast.

 

All the things he used to feel, the sadness, the pain and regret… They came rushing back like huge wave. He seemed terrified of losing this certain girl in his dream but he doesn’t even know who she is. He’s sure he’s never met her before or… has he? Maybe… Maybe buried in his brain somewhere, he does know her.

 

That car crash… it was only a dream but why does it feel more like a distant memory? Something he’d never want to happen again. Confused, Seokmin slightly shook his head and turned his alarm off. He patted his face dry with his hands, finally getting out of his bed to get ready.

 

In the middle of showering, Seokmin closed his eyes and just let the water rain down on his. He saw your face behind his eyelids. You looked so bright and absolutely stunning. You were smiling from ear to ear. You looked at him with your eyes dancing in glee. Your cheeks were flushing a light pink, your lips plump and red. You actually looked… alive.

 

Your face has never looked this vivid either. Usually, when he was awake, your face becomes fuzzy in his head but apparently not today. As he finished washing up and getting dressed, he was beginning to believe that his nightmare really just might be a memory from his past life.

 

 

Seokmin is a librarian at his town’s quaint little library. Some might say his job was boring, arranging books all the time and simply shushing people who made the slightest bit of noise but his job was actually way more than any of that. He actually really liked his job. It was peaceful, therapeutic.

 

It wasn’t far from where he lived either so he would usually just walk to work in the morning. After having coffee and a hearty breakfast from the café across the library, Seokmin was finally ready to go to work. He fixed his bag on his shoulder while juggling his keys on one hand to unlock the glass doors. He then walked inside, turned the sign and switched on all the lights.

 

He set his bag under his desk right then switched on his computer. While waiting for the device to turn on, he walked around for a while to check if everything was in order, no chairs that aren’t pushed back or books that were still lying on the tables. 

 

Gradually, he smiled to himself. He loved the smell of books wafting in the air. He loved how the sunlight streamed through the windows, giving the place a lovely glow. He walked down the aisle faster after realizing he was lost in thought again and went back to his desk.

 

He checked the little sticky note that he stuck at the bottom of his computer screen to see what he needed to do today. It wasn’t a lot and it was still relatively early so he decided to do some vacuuming before he started.

 

He was humming a happy tune as he meticulously vacuumed the carpeted floor. Right when he was about to finish, the small bell above the door chimed. “Hello! Good morning,” he greeted distractedly, turning off the vacuum and unplugging it. He lightly jogged towards the small supply room in the back saying, “Hold on! I’ll be right there.”

 

He quickly put it back and dusted his hands off on his jeans. He walked towards his desk where the first patron was waiting, a friendly smile already plastered on. He wasn’t paying that much attention to her but when he got closer, his heart skipped a beat. Just from the side profile, he already knew. From hurried and long strides, he slowed down gradually and almost stopped walking mid-way.

 

Then you turned your head. He let out a tiny gasp, his eyes immediately scanning your face. He almost forgot how to breathe. You looked even more beautiful in person. Your small smile widened a tiny bit as you belatedly greeted him back. “H-Hi,” he so dumbly replied, bumping into his desk because he couldn’t take her eyes off of you.

 

You giggled silently behind your hand while Seokmin finally looked away to hide his blushing face. He was already behind his desk but he was too embarrassed to ask what you needed or speak at all so you softly cleared your throat to get his attention. Reluctantly, Seokmin looked up at you. You blinked several times at him, your head tilting slightly to the side.

 

If he wasn’t mistaken, he might’ve seen a flash of recognition in your eyes. The thought of it made his heart pound a little louder than it normally would. So he isn’t the only one who knew who you were?

 

Eventually, you shook your head as if to force yourself to go back to your senses. “So uhm… Where can I find books about reincarnation?” Seokmin raised his eyebrow a tiny bit. He didn’t expect it. That was quite an odd subject to delve into this early in the morning. You chuckled seeing his reaction.

 

“See, I’m an author. I’m working on a book revolving around it so I wanted to do an ample amount of research.” Seokmin blushed yet again after hearing your explanation. With the way he reacted it might’ve seemed like he was judging you. He’s never done that in front of any patron before! What the hell is wrong with him right now?

 

“R-Right, of course. Uhh… here lemme show you,” he quickly replied to redeem himself. He finally graced you with his dazzling smile again before leading the way. “You can find some researches about it here, some articles and some novels as well of the same theme.” You thanked him for his help and looked up at the shelf in amazement.

 

Your eyes were sparkling beautifully as you scanned your choice. You were biting her bottom lip in thought and Seokmin was just standing there, staring at you. You eventually noticed this though and suddenly felt shy. You fiddled with the hem of your skirt before you turned to look at him.

 

As if snapping out of a spell, Seokmin blinked back to life. He opened his mouth to come up with some sort of excuse as to why he stayed behind but nothing proper came out. He was stuttering, stumbling clumsily over his words. You chuckled at that, amused.

 

“Uhm… if you don’t mind, can you help me with these?” you said instead to cut him some slack and began to take out some books. Not wanting to embarrass himself even more than he already has, he just nodded his head and helped you carry them.

 

The table you chose was coincidentally near his desk so while you were going about your business reading, he kept stealing glances at you and was very distract. Even as more patrons started to come, his attention was mostly on you.

 

It just felt so surreal. The girl in his dreams... you actually exist and you’re right there. He doesn’t know why but he really wanted to talk to you somehow or have any kind of interaction. If only he could, he’d very much want to just sit across you and watch you read for hours. He just wanted to be near you. It’s weird actually. It almost seemed like… he missed you.

 

But… how can you miss someone you’ve only met today?

 

Seokmin heaved a deep sigh and finally, though reluctantly, looked away to tend to his work.

 

 

You spent almost the entire day at the library. Whenever Seokmin thought you were done, you’d merely get up to get another book and he oddly felt some sort of relief for that. He doesn’t want you to leave yet. Not without him knowing your name at least.

 

Finished with all his work on his computer, Seokmin then started to return the books people left on their tables. Like before, he’d usually take random glances at you every now and then. He noticed that you would put your book down and close your eyes tightly for a long period of time. Other times you’d rub your eyes or press on them.

 

He wanted to go check up on you and fortunately so, he had a couple of books to return at the shelf behind you. He carefully pushed his book cart near the shelf and carried some books in one arm. When he was close enough, he glanced at you again. You were in the middle of pressing down your eyes with your forefinger and thumb when he suddenly mumbled out, “Are you alright?”

 

His voice was so soft yet it was very evident that he was concerned over you. A small smile stretched at your lips before you opened your eyes to face him. “Oh, I’m fine. My eyes are just hurting a little.” You chuckled. “I just forgot my glasses, as always.” You were rolling your eyes at yourself, still chuckling but then you abruptly paused.

 

You blinked several times and Seokmin did the same before he slowly turned to you. Something just seemed clicked in your heads. What you just said… It was awfully familiar. You both ended up staring at each other, a weird feeling settling at the pit of your stomach.

 

The more you looked at him, the more you found yourself getting lost in his eyes. You started to feel warmth spread from your chest to every inch of your being. You didn’t know why but your eyes… they were starting to blur with tears. What… What was going on?

 

“Ack!”

 

Seokmin started to hop on one foot, trying so hard not to scream. Because he was so busy looking at you, he forgot he was still putting back a book. He accidentally let go of it and the heavy thing landed on his foot. You snapped out of it, hearing the loud thud and quickly blinked your tears away. You held back her giggles as you watched Seokmin hop around.

 

“Are you okay?” you muttered, still trying to not to laugh. You stood up from your seat and grabbed the book. Damn, it is heavy. A few people were looking at your direction now. Seokmin swallowed hard when he saw all the eyes on him. He stood up properly and took several breaths to calm himself down.

 

“I-I’m okay…” He forced out a reassuring smile at your direction before sheepishly excusing himself to tend to his foot. You were going to volunteer to help but he told you he can handle it. Plus, you still had a lot of reading to do. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you watched him limp towards the back room.

 

A few more hours later, you finally called it a day. You neatly stacked all the books you used so Seokmin won’t have a hard time putting them back later and collected your things. You then shouldered your bag and stood up. When you caught Seokmin looking your way, you quickly smiled at him and bowed your head as a form of thanks for helping you out today

 

The boy slightly panicked when he realized you were leaving for real this time and right when you passed by his desk, Seokmin suddenly blurted out, “Wait!” You immediately stopped in your tracks and turned to him. He seemed quite surprised with himself for doing that but he stood up anyway, walking around his desk to stand in front of you. 

 

Since Seokmin was a bit taller than you, you had to look up at him slightly. He gulped. You were too close. Your big, shiny eyes were too mesmerizing and adorable. Oh, god why are you so pretty? So endearing even when you’re really just staring up at him? He suddenly can’t think straight.

 

“I— Uhm…” He actually didn’t know what he was going to say to you. He grew silent for a moment, his eyes darting around so he could avoid yours until they landed on a poster on the wall. It was then that his brain started to function again. “Are you free this Saturday?” You blinked at him in surprise. “S-Sorry?”

 

You look a little mortified by his very random question. He probably came off too straight forward for you which really isn’t what he was going for. He just panicked, that’s all. Seokmin quickly waved his hands in front of him.

 

“D-Don’t get me wrong! I’m trying to—I mean… the library’s having a little event this Saturday. Children from an orphanage are coming over and some volunteers are going to read them stories. I was just wondering if you would… maybe want to…”

 

He trailed off when he saw you just stare at him. You were still contemplating on it but already, Seokmin felt like you were going to reject his invitation. He was already sporting a sad smile, slowly ducking his head in disappointment but then you went, “I’d love to!” Seokmin automatically looked up and grinned an ear-splitting grin.  You happily grinned back at him.

 

 

Inviting you to the Story Telling Event at the library was only the first. After that, you two just kept meeting and meeting each other. Gradually and naturally, your feelings for each other deepened. He helped you *a lot* with your book, not only with your constant research for it but he served as one of your biggest inspirations as well.

 

He supported you through all of it and would accompany you whenever he was free. Whether you felt like writing at a coffee shop or at your cozy little apartment, he’d be right there for you. Even if you wouldn’t talk much, his presence was more than enough for you.

 

You went on many simple dates and several spontaneous trips together. You’re both happy, *very* happy as a couple. Everything felt like they had finally fallen into place. It was as if you already knew. From the first time you laid eyes on each other, you knew all of this was bound to happen. You knew that you were going to fall in love.

 

Your first encounter at the library where you first met seemed like it was only yesterday but at the same time, it felt like you had actually known each other for much longer, like you have loved each other for much longer too.  

 

Your relationship is *your* kind of perfect, a healthy one where you both grow and learn from it. You had your fair share of fights. You have been angry at each other, hurt and sad but you have never, *not once*, thought of giving up your relationship. You always worked it out, overcoming all the hardships and coming out of it stronger than ever.

 

You had to admit though that Seokmin was the one who was always more patient. He always reminded you and made you feel that you were in this together, that you can always rely on him for anything and everything. He was your peace, your sanity, your *home.*

 

You let out a contented sigh as you rested your head on his shoulder. You’re both sitting on the sand, a blanket draped over you. The sunset was painting the sky with most a magnificent rose quartz and serenity. It was a breathtaking sight. You’re more than happy to share this moment with the your favorite person.

 

You slowly lifted your head of his shoulder and instead rested your chin there. “Seokmin?” you whispered and he hummed. You pursed your lips in thought. You didn’t want to weird him out with you question but then again, this was *Seokmin.* He would never judge you of find anything you do the least bit odd even if it is sometimes.

 

“Have you ever felt like… you knew me?” you finally muttered after a few beats of silence. “In a past life of something?” You ended your question with a light chuckle, listening to yourself and thinking you sound absolutely absurd. You leaned away from Seokmin to gauge his expression.

 

You expected him to tilt his head at you in confusion and laugh but he simply nodded his head with his eyes still staring at the horizon. Heaving a deep sigh, he finally turned to look at you. “Don’t freak out or anything but a couple of years ago, I had this reoccurring dream of being in a car crash and…”

 

Now it was his turn to gauge your expression. You were just looked at him though, the same look you always give him when you were listening and showing interest in whatever he was telling you. “You were there. You were my girlfriend.” His eyes become unfocused and glassy as he explained to you exactly what happened.

 

“I-I saw you die right before my eyes…” Suddenly, he felt a pang in his chest. He’d become extremely sad and nose was stinging, his tears welling up in his eyes. Before he even knew it, he was crying. You felt your own chest begin to ache seeing him like this, you gently cupped his face and wiped his tears away with your thumbs.

 

“Hey…” you softly said. “It’s alright. It was just a dream.” You pulled him in for a hug and rubbed his back comfortingly. “It didn’t seem like it,” he hiccupped. “It felt too real…” Seokmin wasn’t able to say much anymore after that. It took him a while to get over his crying too but when he finally did, they both decided to grab something to eat.

 

Seokmin joked that the crying made him hungry, effectively making you laugh and affectionately roll your eyes at him. You , telling him he was such a crybaby to which he countered back with a childish, “No, you are!” The both of you just kept talking, bantering here and there until you found a place that grabbed your attention.

 

It was retro themed restaurant. There was a jukebox and all sorts of mementos of the 50s inside. You were so fascinated by the place. As you ate your dinner, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander around. It felt very nostalgic being there yet none of you had been born in that year yet.

 

After finishing your desserts, you both played around with the jukebox for a while, flipping through old songs and dancing to them. You both just laughed at yourselves. You didn’t care at all if people were looking at you. You were having way too much. The world felt like it was all yours tonight.

 

“Pick another, pick another!” you eager said as you walked back to the jukebox. Seokmin was happily doing as he was told while you busied yourself looking at old pictures, notes and records that were stuck to the wall. There was a sign that specifically said you weren’t allowed to touch any of it but one particular photograph caught your eye.

 

Your heart started to pound so loud in your ears you couldn’t even hear the music anymore. You were drawn to the picture. Even if you knew you weren’t supposed to touch, let alone take it out, you did so anyway. You gasped the moment you had a clearer look.

 

You clasped a hand over your trembling lips and muffled your small sob. In the picture you were holding, you saw yourself and Seokmin. You both looked exactly like how you do now except your clothes were different. You were hugging his waist while he had an arm around your shoulder, the both of you smiling brightly at the camera.

 

You instinctively flipped it over and there you saw a short love letter at the back. Your tears fell even harder. You turned to Seokmin and he was already looking at you, crying too. “I found you again…” he whispered as he opened his arms wide. You smiled through your tears, crashing into his chest. You melted in his warm embrace.

 

“Dokyeom-ah…”

 

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| Author's Note |

I... have nothing much to say here haha

Thanks for reading!

Happy almost New Year <3