Eight
Dimples and Angel CakeStretching gently, like a cat, Lia slowly opened her eyes, feeling relaxed and well rested. She had slept so well, a dreamless sleep! Oh, and bunny was in her arms! She must have gotten the stuffie out last night when she was nearly dead with fatigue...
Still half-asleep, she shuffled out of bed, tummy rumbling. The sound of a cup being put down in the kitchen made her freeze. What on earth was that?! It smelled like coffee now, too...
It felt like a dream when Namjoon suddenly stepped out of the kitchen, holding a cup.
"Hey, you're awake!" His dimples greeted her cheerfully. "Do you feel better today?"
Lia was suddenly fully awake, and the memories of last night punched her in the gut. Her face burned with shame, remembering how she had cried into his chest, asked him to sleep with her, and even asked for a good night kiss.
"I-I'm so sorry," she stammered, feeling like crying. "I don't know what got over me last night and I... I understand if you never want to see me again-"
"No, Lia, it's ok - you were in a really bad state last night and you needed someone."
She bit her lip to keep it from trembling, and couldn't dare meet his eyes - she kept her head hung down low, just wanting to run away, but holding her ground. Feeling ashamed was a fitting punishment for her behavior the other night... who the hell asks someone to sleep with them and asks for bed-time kisses and a story?! Sleep deprived or not, it was not appropriate behavior! Last night, everything had suddenly seemed simpler - Namjoon meant comfort, and therefore she clung to him. It was so odd because she somehow had felt more free....
A strong arm pulled her into a comforting hug. Lia stiffened, but when Namjoon rubbed soothing circles on her back, she couldn't help but relax a bit.
"It's ok," he said, tone so gentle that she felt even worse. "I know you're embarrassed, but you don't have to be. Ok? Last night... you really needed someone, and I'm glad that I came over and you trusted me enough to help you."
"B-but I acted so stupid..."
"No, you were cute. You were very adorable, Lia. Maybe it feels stupid to you now, but trust me, it was adorable to me. Can I tell you a secret?"
Lia nodded, still not looking at him.
"I actually enjoyed taking care of you. It was... it was nice for me, too."
"Really?" she asked suspiciously.
"Really. So please don't say sorry again, because it's really ok and it relaxed me too."
Lia wasn't sure she believed him, but for now she would let it drop - she was too embarrassed and hungry. "D-did you have breakfast?"
"Not yet, I just had coffee. Oh gosh, and I'm sorry, I kinda helped myself to-"
"It's ok," she cut in. Coffee was the least he could take, after last night. "So, um, want some breakfast?"
"Yeah, of course!"
"I hope you like cereal..."
He followed her into the kitchen, and she pulled out a box of cereal from the cupboard, and he got out milk from the fridge. Namjoon poured milk in his bowl, and she gasped. "Hey wait, the cereal is right here!"
Namjoon smiled sheepishly. "Um, I like pouring milk before cereal, so..."
"Oh god. Ok, see, that's not how you're supposed to do it. Milk always goes in after the cereal!"
"No!" he protested. "Milk first!"
"Haven't you seen the ads? Cereal first!"
"I won't let ads dictate my life!"
He had a point there. "Well, still..."
"Now can you please hand me the cereal? I'm hungry!"
This bit of bickering had broken the ice, and Lia grinned, not feeling too embarrassed anymore.
"Do you have college today?" he asked, as they began to eat.
"Yeah, but later on - after eleven."
"Ah, right, I remember you sleeping the other day and being a grumpy bear when I woke you up," he said teasingly.
"Ugh, I was tired!" she protested.
"Were you not sleeping well that night?"
"Um... well... actually, I have really bad sleeping habits," she confessed hesitantly. "And I get nightmares a lot..."
"That must be hard... I can't stand it when I don't sleep properly for a single night."
She shrugged. "It's, well, manageable. Just sometimes it gets bad..."
"Was last night ok? I mean, did you have any nightmares?"
Lia shook her head. "No... last night was... well, I haven't woken up feeling so rested in a really long time." She peeked at him shyly, wondering if he would make the connection that it was because of him - that he had made her feel so safe and cozy, especially with the bed time story and cuddles.
Dimples winked. "That's really good. And well... I'm sorry if I'm being too nosy, but why did you leave bunny in a trash bag?"
Lia took a deep breath. She might as well be honest with him.. he had seen it all and probably already figured it out. Hell, he actually had figured something out about her that she was so utterly clueless about. There was no point denying it anymore, especially after last night... she had regressed, hadn't she? And all those other times, feeling happy and free and small, that was regression too. Right?
But to think she had done it in front of Namjoon, not just once but at least twice, and if she hadn't been watching out when he used that tone of voice that made her feel small.... then damn, it might have been even more...
"I... I wanted to get rid of it all," she muttered. "Everything that was childish... I just... that thing you said, I just..."
"You just wanted to reject it, didn't you?" Namjoon asked gently. "I'm so sorry, I should have-"
"No, no, it's ok! It's just me... I reacted really negatively about it. And well, I read about it online and at first I felt really grossed out, but... but it doesn't seem too gross anymore." The last sentence was said in a rush, as if she was hurrying to say it before she changed her mind. She was being so painfully honest with him right now that it was even taking her by surprise.
"I understand... it's not something that we're used to, right?"
"Yeah, exactly... "
"So..." Namjoon seemed to be unsure of what exactly to say. "W-what do you think about it now?"
Lia bit her lip, heart beating fast. "I'm not too sure yet.... but maybe. Last night... do you think I regressed?"
Namjoon was silent for a moment. "Well. I... I'm not sure.... I suppose it depends on how you felt and-"
"What did it seem like to you? Please be honest."
"So, I-I felt like maybe you did - I mean, probably. You were so vulnerable but at the same time so much more open, and doing things I don't think you normally would."
Lia hid her face behind her hands. "No, definitely not..."
"And... you were pretty childlike, to be honest - which was adorable," he added hurriedly. "So yeah, I have seen you like that only three times-"
"Three times?!"
"Yeah... by the pond, the day we watched Frozen 2, and last night."
"Oh god... three times..."
"So what I mean is, those 3 times, you did act differently - and I noticed you called me something else, too. Joonie."
Lia groaned. "I honestly feel like crawling into a trashcan and never coming out-"
"I would either pull you out or join you,," Namjoon cut in, laughing.
"Hey, why are you laughing?" she demanded. "I'm being serious!"
"Ok, ok, sorry - but there's really no need to be so embarrassed. Just try to let go a little and relax - like you can do."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm trying," she said with a pout. "But it's still embarrassing - especially since it has a name and is a thing."
"How about we forget the title?" Namjoon suggested. "Just do what you did before, and try not to worry about the title. Look, doesn't it make you happy to just play around and stuff? Doesn’t it make you feel good?"
She nodded. "Y-yeah..."
"So forget about the rest. It makes you happy, it doesn't hurt you, so it's ok."
"Ughh why are you being so nice about this?" she muttered.
"Because it's harmless and if it makes you happy I want you to keep doing it. I really shouldn't have asked you about it... "
"How many times do I need to tell you it's ok?" she demanded.
"Same goes for you," he retorted.
She grimaced. "Point taken."
Namjoon glanced at his watch. "Ok, so, um, I actually have to get going or else I'll be late for work."
"Oh! Um, ok... eat up, then..."
Namjoon finished his cereal and washed his bowl and spoon in the sink. It seemed like he was hesitant to leave for some reason, and Lia shooed him out of the kitchen. "Hurry up, don't be late!"
"I'm going!" he protested. "You better not be late to your classes later on, either!"
After he put on his shoes at the entry, Lia murmured. "Namjoon... just... thanks for being here. For everything."
"Thanks for trusting me." He kissed her forehead tenderly, and she almost melted. "You were so brave, being so truthful. See you later!"
"S-see you later!" she stammered, and as the door closed behind him she took a deep breath. Well. That had been.... not as difficult as she had imagined it to be. And it was somehow a relief that all this was out, and Namjoon was being so sweet. Was it possible to fall for someone more than once? Because Lia felt like she was falling for Namjoon again.
***
Namjoon held the styrofoam cup of coffee with both hands, leaning against the railing of the rooftop. This was supposed to be peaceful; coffee breaks with Seokjin on the rooftop were the highlights of the day, but today he was whining about office gossip.
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