category: angst (I think)

Author's note: I wrote this while listening to Fine by Taeyeon. It's a good song,I recommend it.

 

....

The world is mocking Lee Donghyuck.Of all the people he could bump into,it had to be Mark Lee.

 

It had been a year since they last saw each other, they cut ties with each other right after their breakup.Donghyuck still remembered that day like it was yesterday. The day they said their last 'goodbye'. The day he cried himself to sleep,like everyday afterwards.

What happened today just made it worse.

 

5 Hours Earlier

 

Donghyuck was strolling at the park. It was December so the place was empty.It was freezing cold after all.But to Donghyuck, the cold outside is nothing compared to the coldness he felt inside him.With that in mind,he continued to walk some more,following blindly to where his numb feet would take him.

 

"Hyuck?"

 

Donghyuck stopped in his tracks.He would recognise that voice anywhere.He turned around to where he heard the familiar voice. Lo and behold,it was none other than Mark Lee.

 

Donghyuck did a quick once over on him. He grew slightly taller than Donghyuck.His hair was a bit longer and dyed a light brown colour.His cheeks were slightly flushed from the cold.He still looked adorable even after a whole year.But maybe it's just the absence that made the heart grow fonder, Donghyuck doesn't know.But what he does know is that just seeing him makes him feel slightly sad again.Not wanting Mark to see him in despair,he quickly swallowed back the tears threatening to fall and faked a smile, "Mark! I haven't seen you in a while"

 

Mark smiled slightly, "You too. Wanna catch up somewhere?"

 

And that's how Donghyuck ended up sitting face to face with his ex-boyfriend, Mark Lee in a nearby coffee shop.

 

"So...", the older started,he looked nervous and Donghyuck felt slightly hopeful,it may be false hope but it's better than nothing, "what are you up to these days? I hardly know anything about you anymore"

 

"Oh, the usual.Work is giving me headaches sometimes but what's new?", Donghyuck managed to answer casually. "How about you?"

 

"I'm great.I just got promoted last week. The new job is kinda killing me though but I think I can manage",Mark seemed comfortable talking now.

 

Donghyuck smiled softly, "Of course,you can. You're the capable Mark Lee. I've  known you long enough to know that you can do anything"

 

Mark smiled gratefully in return.Then suddenly, the smile dropped and an apologetic expression took over his face, "I'm sorry for leaving you back then. I must've hurt your feelings that time"

 

The smile on Donghyuck's face faltered a bit because he did.He really did.And it hurts like hell.However,he doesn't want Mark to worry about him,not when the older's life is going great.So, he puts on his facade and smiled, "It did hurt that time but it's been a year so I'm fine now"

 

I'm not fine. It's not fine.You still fill up my head even after all this time so no, I'm not okay.Not yet...

 

Mark's shoulders relaxed, "That's great. And I'm glad you're doing okay these days"

 

"Thanks,Mark", Donghyuck said,internally grateful Mark bought the lie.

 

Suddenly,a ring coming from Mark's pocket startled both him and the younger.He took out his phone to see who sent him a notification.Donghyuck wasn't able to see who it was but he saw how Mark's face lit up slightly.

 

"Who is it?", the younger asked curiously.

 

Mark looked up from his phone back to Donghyuck's face.He looked nervous, "Umm,see,I...well,I...met someone"

 

Donghyuck felt like someone had stepped on his heart. "Oh".Whatever small hope he had earlier was gone.He regretted asking Mark that question.

 

"I hope you don't mind. It's only been a month so we're still taking it slow",he said cautiously.He was afraid the other would not be okay with it which he really shouldn't.It was Donghyuck who couldn't move on.It was Donghyuck who fell too deep in love that he couldn't get out.

 

Maybe one day I can smile earnestly and reminisce our time like they were good times.Maybe one day I can move on like you.But not yet...

 

"I don't mind,Mark.Congrats by the way. Whoever that person is, they're lucky to have you",Donghyuck once again faked a smile.

 

 "You think so?"

 

"I know so. I know by experience"

 

"Thanks, Donghyuck", the way his voice gotten softer when he said that made the memories in Donghyuck's head come flooding out.The air tightened around him.He had to get out of here before he starts bawling his eyes out.He stood up from his seat, "I have to go now.See you next time?"

 

Mark stood up too, "wait,can I have your new number? I'd like it if we're still friends"

 

Donghyuck nodded.They both exchange phone numbers.After that, Donghyuck basically power walked out of the shop but not before he heard Mark say, "see you soon"

 

Present time

Instead of going back home,Donghyuck went back to the empty park.There,he sat under a big tree and cried his heart out.

 

 One day he would be able to smile again. One day he would stop missing Mark Lee.One day the pain would disappear.But right now, the ache in his chest won't stop longing for him.

 

Donghyuck is not fine. 

Not yet.