---

 

On a Saturday afternoon, here I am still lying in bed wallowing in my sorrow. It has been almost a week since I’ve heard from Yuri, she hasn’t replied to any of my texts or picked up my calls and I’ve been feeling sadder and sadder everyday since she walked out of that dance studio.

 

I miss her…

 

I keep thinking back to that moment and what I could’ve done wrong. I mean I couldn’t have done anything wrong right? I joke about us all the time. There’s no way she’d get that upset with me just cause of that. I reflect again about all those times anyone had ever mentioned about us being a ‘couple’, but I could never recall a time where she had been upset when they had done so.

 

I then reminisce to the times that she had mentioned it herself, she had once said that were were most likely soulmates and were always connected in our past lives, and I really couldn’t agree more. However in the moment I had to , because that’s just how I am, so I had playfully scoffed and asked whatever I had done to deserve that. I chuckle alone at the memory, even the painful punch she gave me right after that comment I made, I found to be a warm memory. 

 

She really completes me in a way I never thought someone else would be able to. My heart starts beating again at the thought and I sigh. Again with this strange feeling. I need to talk it out with someone. Picking up my phone, I go through my contacts to select the one I wanted and waited as it continued to ring.

 

“Hello? Yena-yah?”

 

“Hyewonie!! Hey what’s up?”

 

“I’m just watching some anime, you’re interrupting me. What do you need?”

 

“A-ah.. my bad. I just uhhh… wanted to talk to you about something..” she must have heard something from the tone of my voice because then I hear the click of a spacebar meaning she probably paused her show.

 

“Alright. What do you wanna talk about then?”

 

“We-well you know how Yuri’s been ignoring me lately… yeah. I just wanted to talk about my feelings.”

 

“Oh? Hohohoh our little Yena actually has feelings she wants to discuss for once? Now I’m intrigued.”

 

“Yah, this is serious you !” I yell as I feel a little heat creep up my neck. I pause a little, slowly collecting my thoughts trying to form any sentence, “I really don’t know what to do, and I keep getting this feeling…”

 

I had left a long pause where I couldn’t finish my thought, so she had filled it in for me with a question of her own, “…What feeling? Try to describe it.”

 

“I-I don’t know. It’s just my chest hurts and it’s just so strange like I don’t have heartburn or anything. It just happens when I think of her.”

 

“Hmmm I see. Well it’s probably not indigestion.. I know what that feels like. Maybe this is what they call love..?”

 

“Lo-love..?!” I choke on my own breath. Th-that can’t be.. we’re just friends.. “There’s no way! What are you talking about?”

 

“Mmm I think it is. I’ve seen it in an anime before.”

 

I couldn’t deny, hearing it out loud for once made everything fall into place just like it was there all along. I may.. like Yuri. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I finally admit my one desire. I zone out for a while, it may have been a few seconds or a few minutes, I’m not sure. But the next thing I hear from the other end of the line makes me panic.

 

“I think you should tell Yuri about it. She’ll understand lot more than you think.”

 

“Oh no no no no. She’s not even replying to me, what makes you think she’ll actually talk to me?”

 

“I don’t know ducky, she might just actually listen to you this time. If you start with an apology of course. Don’t you think this is stressing her out too? What about the talent show? You know how she overworks herself when she’s stressed.”

 

Oh shoot, the talent show. I can’t even imagine how stressed I’ve made Yuri feel because of my immature jokes. Gosh I hate it when she’s right.

 

I let out a light sigh before replying, “You’re right. I should tell her. Thanks so much Hyewon-ah, I owe you one!!”

 

“Just buy me some snacks on Monday okay? Love you. You got this!”

 

“Love you too!! Thanks so much!!”

 

I end the call with a smile on my face and a new sense of purpose. I’m going to do it. I’m going to face Yuri and talk to her. And maybe tell her how I feel….sigh. Wait a minute, what did she mean by when she said that Yuri would understand a lot more than I think? Ahhhhhh. 
 

---

 

Okay, this definitely didn’t go as I had planned. Sure, I was filled to the brim with confidence to go up to Yuri, I had even planned a full length scheme over the rest of the weekend, aiming to try and catch the girl when she least expected on the Monday back. But of course, I hadn’t even gotten a glimpse of her since she walked into her class just before the morning bell rang. Sighh. 

 

It’s almost the end of the day, and I’m just aimlessly walking around the school halls for the rest of my free period. At first it was to find Yuri as I knew that she also had a free period. But I had checked every public area, empty classroom, practice room, etc. Yet, no luck. 

 

However as I was wandering around, I had found my saving grace in the form of two adorable Japanese girls sitting three steps above from the bottom of the staircase, talking to each other quietly. Wait a minute, I think they’re Yuri’s friends from her class! They must know where she is!! YAY!!

 

“Hey, you two!! Hitomi-san! Nako-san!” I shout out loud so that they’d be able to hear me. They both turn around alarmed at the volume of my voice. I jog up to them to greet them more softly as I had forgotten about the classes still going on around me. 

 

“Yena-unnie! Why did you call out to us?” The fluffy cheeked girl had asked once I sat down on the step just below them.

 

I sheepishly look away to the wall opposite us but pushed on with the real reason as to why I’m even roaming around at all. “…do you guys.. happen to know where Yuri might be? I-I’ve tried looking everywhere but I can’t find her at all.”

 

They then both turn to look each other in the eye before the shorter girl turns back, lifts her hand and points upwards, “She said she’d be on the roof, something about being too stressed.” 

 

Right, of course! She always goes there when she’s having too much trouble to handle on her own. That’s why I’d usually be there to accompany her… Oh no, what have I done?

 

Quickly I jump back up and dash towards the staircase that lead to the rooftop, but not before thanking the two girls immensely for the information they bestowed upon me, “Thanks so much guys!! Enjoy the rest of your day!”
 

---

 

I reach the top of the staircase and am now standing right in front of the entrance to the rooftop. The only barrier left between Yuri and I, a physical one at least. My heart pounds even harder in my chest, I’m not sure whether it’s from the sprinting I just did or if it’s the fact that the one person I’ve been wanting to see all this time is right behind that heavy metal door. 

 

Breathe Yena. It’ll be okay. It’s just Yuri. Amazing, lovable, beautiful Yuri. I take one more deep breath before I shoulder the door open. I look around for the girl and there she is sat against the metal railing. It’s never looked so pretty up here, but maybe it’s just her that’s clouding my vision right now.

 

She looks up at the creak of the door and meets my eyes for the first time it what feels like forever. She doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. However I slowly tread over to where she is and take a seat next to her, giving her enough space to be comfortable and to get up and leave if she had wanted to. 

 

She hasn’t left yet. That’s a good start.

 

No words were exchanged and that felt so strange and foreign to me. Especially for us. Usually we wouldn’t even need words to be able to understand each other so clearly, but right now I felt like no matter what I say or however hundred ways I’d be able to say it, it wouldn’t get anything across at all. So I stayed silent. Like always.

 

For someone that’s mostly all talk you sure are a coward Choi Yena.

 

To feel slightly more relaxed, I lean back against the railing as well and allow my head to fall back, only for it to come in contact with the metal bars quite harshly and I let out a groan of pain.

 

Rubbing the back of my skull to sooth the throbbing, I then hear the sweetest sound on Earth, her laugh. I move my head so fast that I almost got whiplash, but it would be alright if it also meant that I would be able to see her smile.

 

For a short while I just stare at her meekly, before I utter out as softly as possible, almost scared that I’m going to ruin another nice moment between us, “Hey.”

 

“Hi.” she giggles back, “Are you okay? That sounded like it hurt a lot.” she says in a playful manner but I can still see the concern she holds in her eyes.

 

Even when she’s upset with me she still cares.. I don’t deserve this angel.

 

“Ye-Yeah. Uhh yeah. I’m alright. I’m as tough as ever as you can see.” my throat seems to have dried up a bit causing my voice to crack, but I still went on with the playful act between us.

 

“Sure you are.” she snorts and then rolls her eyes. We then both fall into a laughing fit that goes on for ages, or it felt like it did anyways. 

 

When we both return to the present, tears in both of our eyes from all the laughter, we recede back into silence. However this time it is much more comfortable and less tense than when I had first joined her up on the top of the building. Slowly I feel her lean in and rest her head onto my shoulder. When had we gotten so close within those few moments?

 

I let the nice atmosphere carry us away for a while, to a place where this, whatever this was between us, never happened and where we were never uncomfortable with each other. Like old times I suppose. But everything is different now. Now that I’ve realised that I have feelings for the girl that’s been beside me all along.

 

Do it Choi Yena. For once in your life, woman up.

 

“Yuri-ah…” I quietly call out to her, her reply comes in the form of a soft hum. I look down to see that she had closed her eyes and was almost about to fall asleep on me. How adorable.

 

“Well.. about everything… I want to apologise to you. For you know upsetting you.. I guess.” and from there I knew that I had done something wrong as I felt her breathing stop before hearing it.

 

She pulls away from me and puts a distance between us that made me feel so cold. “You ‘guess’??” she asks me, as if I had said something absurd. I most likely had.

 

“Wait no! That came out wrong. I–” before I could explain myself further she cuts me off. And with a fire I’ve never seen before in her eyes she raises her voice, completely shattering the calm bubble the two of us had been closed off in not long ago.

 

“Why do you keep doing this to me Yena? You tease me, then you call me cute. You say that we’re soulmates but then you complain about how this is your punishment for your past lives. And then sometimes you don’t even deny that we’re dating when someone thinks that we are, but then you say that you wouldn’t want to get married to me?”, and she takes a deep breath while I hold on to mine, feeling as though I might be interrupting her if I didn’t do so.

 

“And I don’t know what to do! Sometimes I think that I should contemplate it and think over cause you’re probably just messing around with me again but then other times I think that I should be doing something about it and I just– urghh! Why do you keep making me feel like this? Just be honest with me for once. Please…”, she ends weakly compared to her fiery beginning. 

 

Tears appear in the corners of her eyes as she begged her last sentence and no matter how much I tried to think of something, my mind just wouldn’t cooperate with me and I’m stuck there opening and closing my mouth just like a goldfish. She forms fists with both of her hands and angrily gets up as she glares at me.

 

When Yuri turns away and takes a few steps away from me, my brain finally registers that one of the most important people in my life was about to leave me, maybe forever, I shoot up and grab onto her wrist.

 

“Wait. Please don’t go.” I plead. I can hear her short erratic breaths. She’s trying not to cry in front of me. “Yuri-ah.. I’m so, so sorry.” 

 

She weakly tugs her arm out of my grasp and I allow her to.

 

This is it. There’s no going back now…

 

---

 

[A/N]:

Oh no, a cliffhanger

-J