Strong gush of winds passing through him. Yoochun gritted his teeth to surppress the cold. The place before him welcomed him with only plain spaces and piercing silences. He held his head up and laid his eyes on the endless white sky. Where is the colour blue? The flawless man wondered. With one look, he presented himself with confidence and perfection. Planting a smile every now and then, no one saw his tormenting eyes. His agony were transpicious to the eye. He in the cold air, and held it for long. For a moment, he wanted it to be forever. For a moment, he wanted to breathe with no air. For a moment, he wanted to collapse and invite death to him.

Just for a moment, he wanted time to go back for his own good.

Love had ceased to exist ever since she was gone. The umbrella that he possessed had now been thrown to the side. The dripping fluffy white snow invaded his sight. He could no longer repress his emotion. How long had it been inside? Yes, three years. It had been three years and only once a year, he let go of his pride and shame, letting out his tears. With no on watching, with no one asking. The one that only witness his weakness is the headstone that was staring back at him. Words engraved was what she requested before she let out her final breath.



He could recall. Her trembling hands roamed around searching for warmth. Once she found it, she brought it up and place it on her chest. Her hands with him. Thick crimson liquid were covering their hands, and mixing it with the bitter tears that overflowed. Her mellifluous cries was the main reason he could produce a heartbroken music. Like the blood that streamed down from her head, it pained him inside. Every breath she lost, his heart stopped. Was it his fault or was it the driver's fault? He could have saved her. He could have left early and fetch. He could have changed the fate. God, how unfair. She was my love life. She was there when I was alone. How could you take away from me?

Yoochun took another step and her graveyard was right in front of him. Wind blew stronger, bringing his longingness away. Was it his crying heart or the wind that entered his eyes? He teared up so easily. He fall on his knees as soon as two dried rose was visible at his sight. God, please let it rain. Let the rain wash away my tears. Let me drown in my own tears at least. Let me die in a sea of tears. God, please listen to me.

Shivering hand made its way to the stones. Slowly, placing the red and white roses, he sniffed to finally let his voice out. Squeezing his eyes, searching for words, he breathed in again.

"Chaerin, its me Yoochun. Hello love. Its been awhile isn't it?"

Yoochun stopped as the lump in his throat threathened him for another round of crying session.

"Here. I brought you roses. Maybe. Maybe you like it when there is two."

Sniffs constantly heard. Yoochun used his back palm to get rid of those stained cheeks.

"Unity. Unity, Chaerin. It signify unity, Chaerin. Every year when I am here, we unite as one. The day we wanted to celebrate, it was the day you left me."

Yoochun stopped talking. He straightened his body and dwelved in his hands into his pocket and took out a note.

"I found this. It... It was in your diary. I knew it was for me. I knew it. You wanted to give on that day, right? Why didn't you give me earlier? Why, Chaerin?"

He placed his hands on the headstone, rubbing it up and down. The cold that soaked into his bones did not irk him a bit. It was freezing, too cold. But nothing could compare when he had to witness the gruesome accident and she left him coldly. Nothing. Nothing could compare that day. Nothing.

"You know, for three years, I blamed myself. For three years, the guilt that swept over me was such a burden. Everytime I smiled in happiness, I remembered that particular day. I know, I don't deserve to smile. No, I don't even deserve happiness."

He held his breathe for the longest time ever. Time ticked every second but how he wished it could stop. Only for a day. Just, for today.

"I am sorry Chaerin. I am sorry. I couldn't protect you. It was all my fault."

Sobs, cries and wails escaped his lips. Every year, on February 14, the day Lee Chae Rin died, that was the day the people underground could hear the silent cries. Sometimes loud, sometimes soft. The agony in his cries echoed in the empty area.

"Chaerin, Happy Valentines Day. Rest in peace my love. I will visit you next year. Farewell... honey."

And that, he left the his heart there on the cold together with her. Walking away from her, his face turned to a blank one. No one, no one could ever read it. And that expression will forever be there until the next February 14 comes.

Until the next February 14 comes, you will hear another mournful cries. Another complains, another life had wasted. She wrote on the paper. She wrote with all her might. It was sincere. Only her notes accompanied her that day. And when he came back, he would see that note again. And he prepared himself to cry again. Again and again.