The faint sound of a sorrowful alarm awoke you from your fragile sleep. You nearly rolled out of bed to open the curtains and window to the all too familiar haze that threatened to block out the should-be vibrant oranges and yellows of the sun and the baby blue of the sky. You looked down from your dorm window to see students scattered about the vast lawn, some chatting and tittering, others barely holding it together, all completely numb to the fact that another war was being started. You sighed, wondering if it was time you became numb, desensitized to the constant threat—and promise—of war, to the fact that you may never see half of these students, your friends, your family members a year or a few months from now due to being drafted, to the fact that life was all too fragile and it was none of your control. You wondered if you should assimilate already, carry on mindlessly through your day, your life, your losses, your tragedies. You wondered how useless all of this could be if you or any of your friends could be drafted at any moment. At this rate, this being the fourth war declared in the last six months of the fresh year, it wouldn’t just be males that bore the toll of war. Able-bodied women might also have to be drafted, as a last resort. You wondered if, at this point, it was easier to volunteer for the army. Dying would be easy. It wouldn’t be too difficult to “accidently” walk into the line of fire, or jump on a grenade, or simply take yourself out. In this age, it was almost too easy to die for your country. It was too easy to be forgotten.  If you made it home, however,  you would be considered a hero, treated indignantly, denied jobs and shunned in social interaction despite the horrors you had endured. Yet, you would be touted as a true hero in the media, someone who sacrificed their life for their country and helped win the war against this threat, against that conspiracy, against everything that your country feared and did not want to see. It was too easy to die and all too hard to live as a hero or as the outcast that you were who wanted an education over a medal, a stable life over another ‘victory’.

            The buzz of your phone from your group chat snapped you out of your inner conflict. Your friends were asking if you were going to make it to class today. You were already ten minutes late, on the first real day of class. You shrugged and sighed once more, pinching the bridge of your nose as you prepared yourself for the long day that lay ahead. You took your time, the alarm and the mere idea of a dismal life sapping all the motivation you thought you could have had. Granted, it was history, a subject that you had always adored, not because any of the world events were particularly interesting to you, but because it offered hope, a nostalgic type of hope of and for a simpler time, before war was the norm, before fear and distrust were the default. You had long since acknowledged the power and corruption that humans could indulge in, but you also found comfort in the idea that not everything was solved with gunshots, not every idea was born out of desperation, not every human was afraid for a life that was not truly hers. Nonetheless, you took what little power you knew you did have and slowly got ready for the short walk to school.

            “Alright, class, welcome to History 342, Advanced History of Major Social and Political Institutions. In this course, as opposed to the lower division course I’m sure most of you have taken with me as well, we will be looking at not only the structure and impact of early 21st century social and political institutions, but the philosophies and foundations of such. In the current political climate—if you can dare to call it such—there is much that contrasts with what built this country or what was considered normal, acceptable, and even legal in the context of social structure and more fundamentally, the legal institutions that supplemented them,” the professor started, already peaking your interest. “As I mentioned, this is an upper division course based on History 208 so I am glad to see several returning faces, but I’m sure some of you have not been in any other class with me so if there are any more lingering questions, let me know before we begin the course as this is our first day.” Someone raised their hand, much to the professor’s surprise and slight dismay. She subtly raised an eyebrow before pointing at the gentleman. Naturally, everyone turned around to see who was holding up the class session either to mentally thank or curse him. You and your friends stopped typing to each other to glance at him. You were expecting the class know-it-all from last semester, Braxton, to ask some stupid question that was not only irrelevant but only served to show that he had all of one functioning braincell. Yet, it was someone different and he was gorgeous. He had long, sideswept jet black hair that covered his left eye. He was dressed neatly in a button up and a black, red, and white sweater vest with dark jeans and leather shoes to match. He had steel grey eyes that stared directly back at the professor fearlessly.  Your friend Micah sent you a quick message saying how badly she wanted to do unnamable things with this man, but you were too taken aback to acknowledge her lust.

            “Thank you. You mentioned on the first day that this will be a writing-intensive course, but that we will also have partners assigned to us to start giving us feedback on our writing? You didn’t quite explain what kind of writing we would be doing and when these partners would be assigned to us, though the syllabus dictates that our first writing assignment is due in two weeks,” he pointed out, startling the procrastinators and the ones who didn’t bother to read the syllabus on their own. You raised an eyebrow, a fellow scholar impressed by another.

            “Ah, that’s right. I’m glad someone read the syllabus,” she began, softening knowing that she had at least one reliable student in her class. “Well, since we are on the topic, we can start assigning partners. I don’t have all this time for favoritism or friendships, so you will be paired up according to just where your name is on the roster. As she quickly ran through the list and your friends were paired up for better or worse, you wondered who you would be paired with, silently hoping it would be with this mysterious boy. You usually were not one to fawn over just anyone and you tried convincing yourself that you were not doing exactly that at the mere thought of him, but you did want to know him. He would, at the very least, be a good partner to have considering he was thoughtful and he looked intelligent. His name was called first, and then yours. Your heart sank and then ran circles when he looked back at you, his gorgeous grey eyes not revealing anything. You couldn’t hear the professor even finish the list over the sound of your racing heart. You finally came back to your senses when she finished and started the powerpoint. You vaguely remembered her promising to devote the last five minutes or so of class to meeting your partner. For the remainder of the class, you could barely focus, not feeling too bad since she was the type of professor to post the powerpoints online for notes. All you could do was steal glances at him, and reply back to your friends who had found a nerve.

Ah, so you like him?

I never thought I would see the day when Zaphyra would get so worked up over a boy she doesn’t even know.

Alright, look, in her defense, the man is gorgeous. But you right. I was starting to think that she just wanted a girlfriend and was done with men.

You idiots, I mean you’re not wrong on the girlfriend part, but I’m definitely not head over heels for this guy. He just seems really smart so don’t be salty that ya’ll aren’t with someone who is actually going to ~help~ you this semester.

I mean, if that’s the case and you don’t want him, then I’ll take him. We can switch.

Relax, Micah! Just cause I hit the jackpot doesn’t mean that I’m going to be generous about it.

Wow~~ so she does want him all to himself. So greedy~ The least you could do