A/N: Happy Birthday to our beautiful (inside and out) Wooseok <3

Previously titled You Light Up My Life.

“How’s your knee?” Wooseok asks, almost casually.

“It’s fine,” Seungwoo says, more brusque than he meant to, and he sees a frown carve itself between Wooseok’s eyebrows.

“Okay,” Wooseok says, clearly not convinced.

“It’s fine, really,” Seungwoo says. “I’m fine.”

Wooseok gives him a searching look. “Are you?”

As fine as he can be, considering their names are being dragged through the mud and he can’t remember the last night he got a full night’s sleep and his knee may be bothering him more than he wants to admit.

“You’re not fine,” Wooseok says. It’s not a question.

“I’m trying to be.”

“Hyung,” Wooseok sighs. Suddenly, he drops to his knees and reaches for Seungwoo’s pants.

Seungwoo’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets. “W-what are you doing?”

Wooseok a hand over his knee, so gentle he barely makes contact. Seungwoo’s breathing hitches and it’s not from pain or discomfort. “Taking a closer look.”

“You can’t see anything with my pants on,” Seungwoo says, and then promptly wants to bite his tongue off.

Wooseok gives him a look from under his lashes. “Should I take them off then?” At Seungwoo’s expression, he bursts into laughter. “They call me a deer but you’re the one who looks like a deer in headlights, hyung.”

Seungwoo clears his throat. “You caught me off guard, that’s all. And I don’t think anyone can take the title of deer away from you.”

“Yeah?” Wooseok says absently, now staring intently at Seungwoo’s knee like he can see what’s happening beneath not only the layer of Seungwoo’s jeans but his skin, see the workings of his sinews and muscles and nerves and how they’re hurting him. “Should I start trying to imitate a deer the way you do with a horse all the time?”

“Hey,” Seungwoo complains half-heartedly. “I do a good rooster imitation too.”

“Yeah, you make a wonderful ,” Wooseok says, and Seungwoo almost chokes. Belatedly, he tries to compose himself, but Wooseok is already laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners in a way Seungwoo can’t help but find mesmerizing. “Maybe you can wake us up in the morning like that.”

“Would you wake up? I swear, trying to get Minhee and Eunsang up is like trying to battle the apocalypse.”

“Oh, just let me at them. I’ll make them wake up.” Wooseok says it more like I’ll make them suffer.

“You can be kind of scary sometimes,” Seungwoo says. It comes out rather like a compliment.

Wooseok grins. “Do you think so, hyung? Do I scare you?”

It’s hard to think of Wooseok as anything remotely close to scary when he’s smiling like that, his expression sweet and boyish, but Seungwoo has seen his glower (albeit never directed at Seungwoo) and he knows it’s quite the frightening sight.

“Not me, no, but I’m pretty sure Dongpyo and Hyeongjun are terrified of your wrath.”

“Oh, but they’re such cute kids, I doubt they’d incur it.”

“But Minhee and Eunsang aren’t cute kids?”

The way Wooseok wrinkles his nose answers that question.

“It’s not nice to play favourites as a parent, Wooseok,” Seungwoo laughs.

Wooseok’s eyebrows climb up. “I’m a parent now?”

Seungwoo shrugs. “If I’m a rooster, doesn’t that make you the mother hen?”

Wooseok’s expression does a complicated thing, and for a second Seungwoo wonders if it’s going to turn into that infamous glower, if he’s finally managed to incur Wooseok’s wrath, but then Wooseok’s mouth curves into a smile.

“I guess that does. I can’t leave you to run this chicken coop by yourself, can I?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but Seungwoo’s heart skips a beat as if in reply.

Seungwoo is grateful that Wooseok seems to have let the whole knee thing drop, but he underestimated Wooseok.

“Hyung,” Byungchan says during their video call. “Wooseok hyung told me that your knee is acting up again.”

“He—what?”

Byungchan’s eyes are tight around the corners. “You still haven’t gone to a doctor?”

“It’s fine, it’s really not that big of a deal—”

“It was big enough of a deal for Wooseok hyung to tell me.”

“I can’t believe him,” Seungwoo mutters, and maybe he should be feeling more annoyed and betrayed, but he feels almost—warm? That Wooseok would go to such extents out of concern for him.

“Besides, you’ve had knee problems for so long and you just let it fester. Do you want to have knees to walk on when you’re old?”

“Maybe I can get some kind of cyborg knee replacement,” Seungwoo says, only half-joking. He probably really will need some in the future.

“Hyung, this is your body. We only get one. Please take care of it. Take care of yourself.” Byungchan is clearly so worried for him that it makes a lump clog in Seungwoo’s throat. Not only is he not there to take care of his kids, he’s making them worry about him. That’s not their job. He’s supposed to be the one worrying about them; he’s their hyung. Their leader. Their, but not there.

“I know. Please, don’t worry about me. And tell the others not to worry either.”

“How can we not, hyung? Especially when you won’t worry about yourself.” Byungchan sighs. “I’ve never met someone who’s so good at taking care of others but so bad at taking care of themselves.”

“That’s my unique charm?” Seungwoo says, trying for a smile, but Byungchan’s expression remains tense, his mouth pinched in a tight line, his eyebrows drawn together.

“Can I ask you something?” Byungchan says, and he has that look when he wants a longer break or a snack from the cheat list, a pleading, dimpled expression that Seungwoo’s never been able to say no to. “Can you do me a favour, hyung?”

“Of course.”

“Go to a clinic, with Wooseok hyung. He said he booked an appointment already, he’s just waiting for you.”

How can Seungwoo say no to that expression? How can he ignore their concern, waste their efforts like that?

“Okay,” he sighs, surrendering. “Fine. But tell Wooseok that he plays dirty.”

Byungchan grins, sunny and victorious. “You can tell him yourself. I’m sure he’d take it as a compliment.”

Yeah, that sounds like Wooseok all right.

“You play dirty,” Seungwoo says with narrowed eyes, but he can’t quite make himself sound angry or accusative.

Wooseok has his Innocent Deer expression on, one that never fools any of them. “What are you talking about, hyung?”

Seungwoo sighs. “I can’t believe you went to Byungchan behind my back like that.”

“If you would listen to me, or to him, we wouldn’t have to go behind your back.”

“I have it under control, Wooseok.”

“No, you don’t,” Wooseok says. “And you don’t have to, hyung. You don’t have to have everything under control. You don’t have to-to bear everything alone and put all the burdens onto your shoulders and keep your pain and exhaustion from us. That’s why we’re a group. We’re supposed to handle these things together.”

Seungwoo closes his eyes, partly to gather himself, partly to avoid Wooseok’s. He’s not quite ready to meet everything in that gaze. “I’m your leader.”

“Yes, and you’re not any less of a leader if you confide in us, if you trust us.”

“I do trust you!”

“Then let me take some of your burden. Let me help you, hyung. I want to.” Wooseok’s voice softens. “Seungwoo hyung. Why won’t you look at me?”

Seungwoo opens his eyes. Wooseok is staring at him, his forehead furrowed, his eyes bright. Too bright. And then Seungwoo realizes that there are tears in his eyes. Tears because of him. For him.

“Wooseokie.” Seungwoo’s voice comes out tender. “Don’t cry.” His hands move as if on their own, thumbs swiping over the corners of Wooseok’s eyes like he can brush away not only his tears but the reason they exist, like he can banish Wooseok’s troubles with a touch. He wishes he could.

Wooseok’s eyes may be b with tears but they haven’t spilled over so there’s nothing to wipe anyway, but even so Seungwoo can’t bring himself to pull away. Wooseok has his face tilted up slightly, and he’s staring at Seungwoo so intently he’s not even blinking, and he looks like he’s holding his breath, almost, like he’s waiting for something—

Seungwoo clears his throat and takes a step back. Even so, he has to remind himself to pull his hands away, to let go of Wooseok.

“Don’t cry,” he repeats lamely. “There’s nothing to cry over.”

Wooseok is the one to close his eyes this time. “I’m not crying,” he mutters, even as he brings his hand up to his face, balling his hand into a fist and rubbing his eyes like he can alleviate the pressure there.

Something clenches in Seungwoo’s chest at the action. He finds his mouth opening and words leaving it of their own volition. “I’ll go to the clinic with you.”

Wooseok’s eyes snap open. “What?”

“I’ll go to the clinic with you. I mean, I promised Byungchan I would. You didn’t think I was lying, did you?”

“No, I know you wouldn’t lie to us,” Wooseok says without hesitation. “I just – I don’t know.” He tugs his bottom lip into his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you. You’re the one who’s going to so much trouble because I’m a stubborn old man with bad knees.”

Wooseok laughs at that, but his eyes are looking overly bright again. Seungwoo wants to hit himself. “It’s not trouble, hyung,” he says softly. “It’ll never be trouble. I want to.”

“You want to?”

Wooseok swallows. “I want to be there for you, hyung. I want to take care of you. I want…”

“Yes?” Seungwoo asks, his voice half breath. “What do you want, Wooseokie?”

“Hyung,” Wooseok breathes, and Seungwoo realizes that this time, the brightness in his eyes isn’t because of tears. This expression is the one had to close his eyes against, the one he couldn’t bear to meet full-on. Wooseok and his eyes full of stars and trust, like Seungwoo is the sun he orbits around. “Seungwoo hyung.”

It sounds like a prayer, almost. A plea. A question and an answer.

Seungwoo meets Wooseok’s mouth with his own, and feels the brightness spread within him too.

They’re curled together on the couch, and Seungwoo has Wooseok tucked right against him, his bad leg resting on a pile of cushions that Wooseok insisted on putting together. It’s the most comfortable he’s felt in a while, and it’s not because he’s elevating his leg.

“How’s your knee?” Wooseok asks again, and somehow it feels different from last time.

“It twinges,” Seungwoo admits, “but it’s okay right now.”

Wooseok reaches out, carefully, and cups Seungwoo’s knee like he’s handling some priceless artifact that’ll shatter at the slightest contact. He glances at Seungwoo like he’s checking for permission this is okay, and Seungwoo gives him a reassuring smile. Wooseok touches him so gently that even if he had a raw, open wound he doubt it’d hurt, and yet something about the way Wooseok is touching him, is looking at him, makes him feel raw and open. As exposed as a wound, but without any pain.

Finally, Wooseok draws his hand away, but not before running it up Seungwoo’s thigh in a way that can hardly be called therapeutic. That little tease.

“If it hurts too badly, you have to tell us,” Wooseok says firmly. “You have to stop forcing yourself through performances, you have to sit in a chair like Yohan and recover.”

“Okay,” Seungwoo says, feeling like he doesn’t have much choice in the matter. “I’ll do that.”

“When is your clinic appointment?”

Seungwoo blinks. “Weren’t you the one who booked it?”

“Yeah, but when is it?” Wooseok presses.

“Next Tuesday at nine,” Seungwoo recites dutifully.

Wooseok’s eyes narrow. “You’re not going to cancel it, are you?”

“How can I, when a certain mother hen will kill me if I do?”

Wooseok grins, not looking the slightest bit abashed. “I’m sure that hen is merely looking out for their .” Seungwoo chokes again, and Wooseok’s eyes just sparkle even more. “Oh sorry, hyung, did I offend you? Should I use the word rooster instead? Should I say pearooster instead of peacock too?”

Seungwoo shifts in a lightning-quick motion, his leg be damned, and pins Wooseok under him. “You are such a goddamn tease.”

Wooseok tilts his head to the side and smirks, a clear challenge. “And? What are you going to do about it?”

As an answer, Seungwoo lowers his mouth.

A/N: Everything until the "deer in headlights" part was originally part of Feel Like Flying, but then that took a direction of its own so I decided to make this into its own fic. This was inspired by what Victon said to Seungwoo, in particular Sejun's "Hyung, please go to the hospital when your leg hurts. Please say something when you're in pain. You don't have to take on the burden by yourself" and Hanse's "From when we were trainees all the way to now, his problem is that he tries to take on all the burden by himself." The article made me cry both times I read it and I still haven't had the heart to watch the video. Oh, Seungwoo. Please take care of yourself, and let your members take care of you!