A/N: Warning for mentions of non-graphic off-screen violence and what ion would entail.

“Did you have the rough one again?” Seungwoo asks concernedly, gingerly brushing a fingertip down the ring of bruises around Wooseok’s delicate neck, like some garish purpling necklace. He knows if he stretches out his fingers and places them around Wooseok’s neck, it would roughly match the marks, and he shudders to think that somebody enjoyed it, probably got off to it.

“Mm. You say that like there’s only one rough one.” Wooseok doesn’t sound like he cares much, which only makes Seungwoo more concerned, that he’s so desensitized to all this. “Normally, I would cover all that up with makeup but I know you wouldn’t mind so I skipped on it.”

“I do mind.” Of course he minds. Wooseok is out there handing his body to men who choke him and degrade him and hurt him. Of course Seungwoo minds.

“You don’t mind enough to refuse the appointment,” Wooseok corrects. “And if I have to wait until all my bruises fade to take on another client, I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself for long.”

Another client. The words shouldn’t sting, because Seungwoo knows that at the end of the day he’s just another client, one out of many that pays an exorbitant sum to spend a few hours with Wooseok. Or rather, with Wooshin, one of the most sought after escorts in the elite circle. At the end of the day, all that he gets is Wooseok’s body, not anything more, and it’s a truth he’s known all along so why is he still having a hard time swallowing it?

“Seungwoo,” Wooseok sighs. “Don’t look like that. You looked happier before you saw me. I’m not here to make you frown.”

“What are you here for then?” Seungwoo asks, even though he knows the answer Wooseok will give him is not the one he wants.

As a reply, Wooseok reaches out towards Seungwoo’s fly, but Seungwoo gently pulls his hand away.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to right now.”

Wooseok’s eyebrows draw together. “That’s what you’re paying for. You’re not shelling out money to talk to me.”

“It’s my money,” Seungwoo says, jaw set stubbornly. “I can do whatever I want with it.”

“You’re upset,” Wooseok notes. “Why?”

“Why? Take a look in the mirror and tell me why!”

“My appearance is not to your pleasing?” Wooseok frowns. “I didn’t know the bruises bothered you so much. I’ll cover them up, just give me a minute—”

“It’s not about the bruises!” Seungwoo has to take a deep breath and tell himself to calm down. Wooseok’s eyes have gone wide, but that’s the extent of him showing surprise. He doesn’t flinch back at Seungwoo’s raised voice or flashing eyes; he must be used to much worse displays of anger. Only, Seungwoo’s anger is not at him, but for him. And more than anger is worry and protectiveness and—

“I hate that you reduce yourself to this,” Seungwoo says in a low voice.

Wooseok’s eyebrows climb almost into his hairline. “Reduce myself?” he repeats. “How am I reducing myself, exactly? Would you say that to a boxer who gets beaten black and blue? This is my job, Seungwoo, and it comes with risks. It’s not up to you to tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing.”

But you shouldn’t be doing this, Seungwoo wants to cry. You’re so kind and funny and charming and witty and yes, beautiful, but you shouldn’t be using that for this, you’re so much more than this.

But he also knows that without ‘this’ he wouldn’t be anyone to Wooseok. He’s only Wooseok’s client, not his boyfriend or confidant or even friend. For all that he cares and thinks and feels about Wooseok, there’s a good chance Wooseok doesn’t even spare him a thought outside their sessions.

Really, what’s so different between him and those men? He may not have laid a hand on Wooseok that way, but he’s touched him and kissed him and ed him just like the rest of them. And he doubts that he’s the only one who’s gotten possessive over him and wanted to take him out of this life. Deluded himself that he could be Wooseok’s saviour somehow, his knight in shining armour.

“Seungwoo,” Wooseok says again, softly. “Hey, don’t be like that.”

Seungwoo drops his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For…patronizing you. You’re right, this is your life and I have no right to tell you how to live it.”

Wooseok is silent for a moment. “I know you’re concerned for me, and I appreciate it.”

“But?” Seungwoo prompts, hearing it coming.

“But I think it would be better for both of us if you didn’t get so attached.” Wooseok says it gently, but it hits Seungwoo like an anvil to the chest. It’s a reminder at best and a warning at worst.

Don’t get attached. It sounds simple enough, and he had told himself the same thing at the beginning, he had thought it wouldn’t be hard at all, but he had never imagined what Wooseok would come to mean to him.

“Seungwoo?” Wooseok asks, and his voice is hesitant now, unsure.

“I’m sorry,” Seungwoo says again, mechanically. “I’ll try. I don’t want to be”—he swallows—“a burden.”

And, unexpectedly, Wooseok’s face crumples. “You’re not a burden,” he says, voice almost cracking. “It just—it makes things even harder, knowing that you care, that I’m hurting you. That’s the last thing I want. And I can’t stop thinking about you when I’m—” He closes his mouth so forcefully Seungwoo can hear his teeth click together, and it’s Seungwoo’s turn to stare at him, wide-eyed.

“When you…?” Seungwoo asks.

Wooseok squeezes his eyes shut, like he can block out the truth that way, and his words come out like a surrender. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Seungwoo can’t help himself when he reaches for Wooseok, and he’s aware enough to be gentler than usual, to avoid the tender areas where he must be aching, but he wonders if his actions are just making them both ache in another way.

Wooseok goes boneless against him, face tucked against his shoulder, and they’ve assumed this position many times before, often with Seungwoo buried inside him, but this is the first time they’re fully clothed and not even a little hard. Seungwoo’s arms are wrapped around Wooseok, pulling him against his chest, and they’re so close that he can feel Wooseok’s heart beat like it’s inside his own body. He closes his eyes and presses his face against Wooseok’s hair, breathing the scent of him in, trying to commit every facet of this moment to memory.

As soon as Wooseok makes the slightest motion like he wants Seungwoo to let go, Seungwoo does so, relinquishing him reluctantly and putting a careful distance between them. Always careful. He’s been handling Wooseok like he’s made of glass, but he feels like he’s the one getting cut on the edges.

“Seungwoo,” Wooseok says, and it sounds so final, and Seungwoo knows what he’s going to say even before he says it. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

He almost wants to laugh, because it sounds like what you say to your significant other when you want to end the relationship, when you want to dump them, break up with them. And those are fitting words, because he feels both dumped upon and broken. Except, the only relationship that’s ending between them is a transactional one, and he can’t fool himself about it no matter how much he’d like to.

“Have we been seeing each other?” Seungwoo asks, meeting Wooseok’s eyes straight on.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the only one who really sees me,” Wooseok says quietly, “but that’s exactly why this has to end. Please tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” Seungwoo says, just as quiet, defeated. “I understand all too well.”

“I knew you would,” Wooseok says with the ghost of a smile. “I knew you wouldn’t make this harder than it has to be.” He reaches out his hand again. “If you want there to be one last time—”

Seungwoo wants. He doesn’t want. He’s scared to want, but he can’t resist it. That’s been his struggle all along, hasn’t it?

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Seungwoo forces out through gritted teeth, scared that if he opens his mouth just a fraction wider words would slip out, words begging Wooseok to change his mind, to leave with Seungwoo, to give him that one last time that he knows wouldn’t be able to stay as a last.

Wooseok nods. “You’re right.” He swallows. “So – this is it, then.”

“Yes,” Seungwoo manages, and they’re left just staring at each other across a distance that will never be bridged again.

And, taking Seungwoo by surprise once more, Wooseok suddenly leans in and leaves a soft, fleeting kiss at the very corner of his mouth. He whispers something that Seungwoo can’t catch, and as Seungwoo tries to pin the words down, he slides off the bed, as smooth and graceful as he always is, and he’s by the door by the time Seungwoo can react.

Wooseok gives a small, sad smile. “Take care, Seungwoo.”

“You too.” It’s all he can manage.

Wooseok looks, for a moment, like he wants to say something else, but he swallows and Seungwoo can imagine the words disappearing down his throat, never to reach Seungwoo’s ears. “I—you—” he starts, but he can’t seem to finish.

Seungwoo understands. He feels the same.

A/N: Not going to be continued because I at writing anything remotely resembling an ongoing hahaha but in my head, or rather my weak, fluffy heart, they miss each other terribly and realize they can't not have the other in their life and get back together <3