Prologue

The ring of the bell resonated through out the empty store. She stepped in quietly, the soles of her boots barely clicking against the floor. Warm air hit her instantly. The transition from one extreme to another – cold to hot – created a kind of disjointed harmony in her. Her body shivered despite the heat – a supposed welcome relief. The weather outside chilled her to the bone, and yet here she was, already feeling much warmer in her coat, layers of clothes and thermal wear.

A clichéd Christmas carol was playing softly through the speakers even though Christmas was already over. The heaters in the store sadly hummed along. Decorations were hung from the ceiling, adorned with the pasted faces of celebrities endorsing random products. The lights were dimmer than usual and there was a light bulb flickering in a corner of the convenience store.

She glanced at the sleeping cashier, who had his arms splayed all over the counter with drool leaking out of his mouth. She exhaled softly before walking down aisle seven. Grabbing several cans of beers, she left a few bills on the counter, helping herself to a plastic bag and placing the beers in it neatly.

She glanced outside the window, noting the roads barely illuminated by the streetlights. Darkness enveloped the sky. It was cloud-covered, with stars barely peeking through. Looks like they weren’t meant to shine brightly tonight.

She was about to step out of the store before she stopped herself, turning around to look. The light bulb which was flickering earlier was now dead, ending its life with a note of finality.

Letting out a sigh once more, she adjusted her coat, pushing the door open and stepping out into the frigid cold once more.

///

The treatment for this patient was not going to be easy.

According to the information provided in the file, this patient had stopped showing up to work all of a sudden, had caused disruption at her ex-boyfriend’s workplace, and also had many futile attempts of suicide. Diagnosed to be schizophrenic, symptoms consisted of depression, delusions and hallucinations. If she was already diagnosed, why book an appointment here? A re-diagnosis, perhaps?

Wendy closed the file, taking a sip of her soothing herbal tea. The tea was already cold. She was tempted to brew another pot of tea, but it’d just get cold again anyway. She had five more minutes till this patient came in. She closed her eyes, massaging her temples. She couldn’t wait to go home, where it was warm and cozy. The office was too cold today – how did the cold manage to penetrate layers of concrete?

She pressed a button on her office phone, directly connecting her to her secretary.

“Seulgi, how many patients do I have left today?”

“One is coming in four minutes and you have another one at 10 pm. You have six appointments scheduled for tomorrow and a dinner meeting with Professor Kim at eight in the evening.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

She was about to cut off the connection when her secretary interrupted her.

“Oh, she’s here already. Do I send her in or tell her to wait?”

“Just send her in. Thanks.”

She released the button, allowing herself a small sigh before being into the world of the broken again. The door swung open and Wendy plastered a welcoming smile on her face.

“Ah, you must be Miss Park. Take a seat on the couch. Tea okay with you?”

///

If she had a dollar for every night she cried, she thought she might be rich by now. The phrase was ironic to her anyway, considering the figures in her bank account and how she could be considered wealthy by many standards. She was rich economically, but she was possibly the poorest in every other area. The money mattered at first. It mattered when she was working several night shifts while studying in university. It mattered when her potential mother-in-law looked at her with kind eyes, deeming her worthy even though she had not a single penny. It mattered when he took her hands gently and told her that she was worth more than anything in the world.

She had believed him. She still did.

He loves me.

If only she could stop crying. She wondered when all the tears in her eyes would dry up and when her eyes would no longer swell. Perhaps never.

She stopped in her tracks, boots crunching against gravel. She exhaled softly, watching her breath swirl in white vapour, going up in smokes. Turning to the infrastructure beside her, she noted the small building – freshly painted and contemporary-looking. There was a glass door and the brightly-lit interior looked inviting, decorated with wood furniture and various plants. All obviously targeted to make people feel at ease. Words in huge print greeted her – Synchrony Psychological Clinic.

She dug out a pristine white name card, reading the information to double check that this was the correct place. Running a hand through her hair, the girl scratched at her nail fold with her index finger, wincing slightly at the pain. Maybe she should put a band-aid.

She took a deep breath and pushed open the glass doors. There was a pretty, young thing at the counter along with a woman who was probably a bit younger than herself. They seemed to be in the middle of an argument when they looked up, noticing her presence. The two quickly bowed, both wearing friendly smiles.

“Welcome. May I help you?” the older one asked.

The older had much more poise and grace in her movements which oozed maturity compared to the little, bumbling one. The lady had an easy, practised smile while the young one had a playful grin that vaguely reminded her of a pokemon that was a part of her childhood. She decided that she liked the young one more.

“Hello! Are you here for an appointment?” the cheerful one piped up.

She shook her head slowly, “I was recommended this clinic.”

“Oh, so this is your first time here?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Yerim but you can call me Yeri. This is Seulgi. We’re always here.”

Taken aback by the sudden introduction, she stuttered and only managed a soft, “Ah…”

“Yeri, you’re creeping the poor girl out with your over-enthusiasm,” Seulgi placed a clipboard on the polished wooden counter, “Will you fill out this form for me? Thanks.”

She picked up the pen and started filling the form with her information. She tuned out the incessant whining and sarcastic chides to focus on the form. It was quickly finished, and she passed the form back to Seulgi. Seulgi sat back down on her chair, typing the information into a computer rapidly.

Yeri asked, “So when would you like to schedule your first appointment?”

If she was being truthful to herself, she was available every day of the week. After all, she had no one to wait for anymore. Still, she pushed that thought to the back of her head and settled on a random date.

“Perhaps this coming Friday? Would that be okay?”

Seulgi nodded, getting up to shake her hand.

“That’s fine, Miss Bae.”

///

Wendy trudged out of the room lifelessly, sipping on a mug of chamomile tea, hoping that the meagre amount of caffeine would keep her alive, or awake at least. Seulgi had suggested for her to replace tea with coffee and Wendy had tried, but had not lasted a day, despising the bitterness in the aftertaste of the coffee.

There was a woman at the counter, bowing and bidding Seulgi and Yeri goodbye. She was gone before Wendy could even take a quick look at her face. Only the white of her knitted sweater and the black of her outer coat lingered in Wendy’s mind. The psychologist set her mug down on the counter, swatting Seulgi’s hand when the latter tried to reach for her tea. She leaned against the counter, gesturing towards the entrance of the clinic.

“Who was that?”

Yeri handed her the clipboard, “New patient. Bae Joohyun.”

Wendy took a moment to read her file before asking, “She was with another clinic already. Why did she come here?”

“She didn’t say why. Only that she was recommended here.” Yeri shrugged.

“Isn’t she cold?” Wendy blurted.

“Cold?” Seulgi frowned.

“She wasn’t wearing her coat when she walked out,” Wendy explained.

“Wow! Unnie, you’re really good at this psychology thing.”

Seulgi scoffed, “Yeri, it has nothing to do with psychology. It’s called being observant.”

“Oh, you’re anything but that, Seulgi.”

Wendy shook her head. What was she going to do with these two?

“Seulgi, play nice. Where are your manners, Yeri?”

“They don’t exist when it comes to Seulgi.”

“Ughhh. I’m your unnie. Respect me,” Seulgi demanded, standing up just so that she could look down at Yeri.

Wendy threw both her hands up before retrieving her mug and returning to her office. Perhaps she needed to separate those two outside. They were too rowdy, and she was worried they might scare off any potential patients. She jabbed the spacebar on her laptop, trying to awaken it. She pulled up her client database and typed in Bae Joohyun. A file popped up immediately and she double-clicked it. Scanning through the woman’s profile, she still could not understand why she changed clinics. She shook her head, dismissing it. She was probably reading too much into things.

But the flash of black and white remained in her mind. The black juxtaposed with white created a kind of contrast that was hard to forget. It wasn’t about the colours, it was how the collision of colours looked on her – like it was made for her, like she was the result of a collision.

Wendy wondered how broken Bae Joohyun could be for the colours to look so disjointed on her.