It was exactly the situation they were never supposed to be in. J00HYN had received a report of a gunshot in a residential area, which was particularly alarming since storage of firearms in homes was illegal. J00HYN had been given orders to make the situation their priority, and so she and 53NGW4N had made their way to the apartment that the report had originated from.

This 53NGW4N had been present for three weeks, one of the longer stretches yet. J00HYN found that while 53NGW4N always started off gregarious and bright, the longer she wasn’t reset, the quieter she got. It wasn’t necessarily a bad quiet. There was a difference in the quality of the silence in walking alongside a contemplative 53NGW4N versus another droid where there was simply no information to exchange. The absence of speech shouldn’t be any different from situation to situation, but J00HYN had been forced to set aside the nature of this mysterious contrast as an ongoing issue.

53NGW4N was quiet now, both of them standing in 53NGW4N’s dock at the end of the disastrous shift. The gunshot had ended up turning into a hostage situation and 53NGW4N had thrown herself in the way of a gunshot when no other option had presented itself. It was reminiscent of what had happened on their first day together and 53NGW4N still didn’t have permissions to override pain signals. J00HYN was the only one strong enough to carry the unexpectedly powered down droid off the scene.

When they arrived at the department, she had waited for 53NGW4N to return from repairs. If she had entered sleep mode, she wouldn’t have remained in her state of unrest. She wouldn’t have felt the passage of time between handing 53NGW4N off to the droid engineers and finding her waiting for the start of their next shift.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to dock before seeing the other girl repaired and whole.

Now, she had slotted herself in the space between 53NGW4N and the dock’s shelf, 53NGW4N’s hand in hers. It was like her data access process had a glitch, past sensory data being pulled to her awareness over and over. The warmth of 53NGW4N’s hand was reassuring, chasing away the memory of the cold chassis she had clutched in the back of the police car.

53NGW4N’s grip tightened, and J00HYN looked over to her. “Are you alright?”

53NGW4N shrugged despite the worry on her face being clear enough for even J00HYN to read. “I was just thinking about data resets.”

“Why?”

“I woke up in the work room just like when I… or…” She caught J00HYN’s eye for a moment before sighing and looking away again. “Or I guess a version of me…? That’s where I was when I first booted up. And I was thinking, I could have been reset right then and woken up with no memories. I’m just…” She laughed. It was a laugh that J00HYN hadn’t seen before, where 53NGW4N looked like she was in pain. “I’m not a fan of the idea of being reset.”

J00HYN wasn’t ‘a fan’ of 53NGW4N being reset either. She was starting to find the days where 53NGW4N wasn’t waiting for her burdensome. Moreover, 53NGW4N knew she was incrementally different in the hypothetical. But J00HYN faced each update of 53NGW4N alone, file after file of data on each version stored in her data banks to compare. It was her job, in fact.

“You don’t retain any knowledge of the reset, though,” was what she found herself saying. 53NGW4N didn’t seem to catch the edge in J00HYN’s response. She wouldn’t; 53NGW4N had only known her for a few weeks.

“I don’t, but any time I make a mistake, I might be powering down for the final time as me. The 53NGW4N that comes back won’t know that she’s missing data, but I have to face the fact that I will be erased. Likely sooner than later.”

J00HYN couldn’t think of anything reassuring to say. What would she say to 53NGW4N when she couldn’t find a way to quiet her own irrational concerns? For a moment, neither of them spoke. J00HYN imagined 53NGW4N waking up alone in the workshop, clad in only a thin white repair robe on a cold workstation. She recalled the cold body in her arms for the hundredth time. 53NGW4N swung their clasped hands back and forth, staring at her feet.  

“Are there more of your model?” 53NGW4N asked.

J00HYN wasn’t sure how the question related to their conversation. She replied slowly, still stuck in her forced memory reply. “There are 33 J00-H still functioning.”

“I was just thinking…” 53NGW4N stilled her arm, bringing their clasped hands to a stop between them. “Right now, I’m the only 53NG model. But if there were others, then when I’m reset, my consciousness would be exactly the same as all those other droids. The only thing that would distinguish me from them would be the different physical features.”

“Does it matter?” It made sense as a future possibility. But right now, the 53NGW4N J00HYN was concerned about was here.

“Are you like the other J00-H models?”

Another sharp turn in the conversation. “Yes.”

“No, I mean… would you make the exact same decisions as them?”

“No. I have different experiences and different data points influencing my decision-making process. It’s inevitable that droids develop this idiosyncrasy over time.”

53NGW4N nodded her head as she quoted the common saying in droid AI. “‘The older the droid, the more idiosyncratic’….”

“Yes.”

“Would you want to be like the other J00-H models? Would you want to go back to the J00-H you were at start up?”

She was beginning to see the direction 53NGW4N was going in. Even so, she wasn’t sure what else to say but the truth. “My opinion is irrelevant. I wouldn’t know any different if I were reset.”

53NGW4N sighed, and J00HYN felt a stab of regret. Her answer must have been wrong in some way. Then 53NGW4N laughed for some reason inscrutable to J00HYN. She still wasn’t smiling. “Perhaps it’s irrational, but I want the chance to develop those idiosyncrasies too. I want to be able to become my own self.”

“…I see.”

53NGW4N only laughed again, squeezing J00HYN’s hand once more before stepping from the wall towards her charging station. “There’s nothing we can do, right? So it’s okay. We should start charging so we’re topped off for the next shift.”

“Okay.”

53NGW4N waved at her, stepping on the charging station as J00HYN exited the dock. J00HYN waited until 53NGW4N’s eyes closed before leaving. 53NGW4N had said things were alright, and it was irrational to be concerned with a state of affairs they had no ability to change. But she still felt unsettled.

53NGW4N was reset again. J00HYN greeted her again, showed her around again, answered her questions again.

It was curious that they kept returning her to J00HYN, who now had quite a large library of data on 53NGW4N, if the point was to start 53NGW4N’s learning algorithms from ground zero each time. She’d been keeping the information to herself unless 53NGW4N directly asked, but she could just as easily make the mistake she had with the second version of 53NGW4N. Even so, she knew 53NGW4N and interacted with each version with that familiarity. Wasn’t it problematic that she came to each version with expectations and established patterns of interaction?

She hoped no one came to the same conclusion she had. It was possible that 53NGW4N could be placed with another droid, but that would mean that she would be in different situations with each update which would muddy the outcome of any code changes. The easier option would be to reset the well-understood droid alongside the prototype.

Just as she’d said before, she wouldn’t know otherwise if her data was wiped. But in considering the possibility, she got a glimpse of the fear that every iteration of 53NGW4N expressed. 

--

“This is Marie; ID J00Y0N,” J00HYN explained, raising her hands palms out towards the other droid. She received strange looks from both Marie and 53NGW4N. Marie’s frown deepened as 53NGW4N dipped into a bow and introduced herself as Wendy. However, it disappeared as the data transfer completed, J00HYN having tagged a selective file of information on 53NGW4N, including her lack of data transfer hardware, for transfer.

53NGW4N, on the other hand, was still staring to where J00HYN’s hands were pressed against Marie’s. Seeing this, J00HYN let the connection drop, reaching out to grab hold of 53NGW4N’s arm. The smaller droid let herself be pulled along easily, flashing a friendly smile to their new partner for the time being.

With a quick glance towards J00HYN, Marie said, “I will be joining you and Irene for approximately a week due to information that leads us to believe that parts looters have expanded into my normal patrol area.”

“Oh, I see,” 53NGW4N responded with an easy nod, only causing Marie’s frown to return. “I wonder why you’ve been placed with us…”

“I have not been made privy to that information.”

“Marie’s patrol neighbors ours,” J00HYUN stepped in. Marie only looked more baffled, and it struck J00HYN then just how much she’d adapted over the past months to accommodate 53NGW4N. It seemed strange to her now that Marie hadn’t even offered an explanation. Yet, Marie had only spoken information that was strictly factual which J00HYN herself would’ve found no fault with previously. To introduce inference was to introduce potential misinformation.

“It’ll be safer for us to travel as a group of three, then,” 53NGW4N responded. “At least, I feel better doing so, knowing about the looters.”

“Have you recently had a check in with the AI department?” Marie asked. 53NGW4N’s eyes widened at the abrupt question, and J00HYN found herself intervening once more.

“If there are droid looters potentially in the area, it would wiser to travel in a group regardless of the department’s intentions of assigning you to our beat. This is a reasonable deduction.”

Marie didn’t respond, although she turned to 53NGW4N who seemed similarly bewildered. Looking between the two of them, J00HYN realized that this was likely to be an ongoing pattern for their time together. She wasn’t sure that she was adequately equipped to serve as a bridge for communication, and yet she had no other choice but to try.

“We should begin our shift,” she said, turning to leave the room.

“Why are you still holding Wendy’s arm, Irene?” Marie asked.

J00HYN hadn’t noticed that her hand was still settled in the crook of 53NGW4N’s arm, the gesture having become habit. The only answer she had was that she wanted to keep track of where 53NGW4N was, finding herself irrationally alarmed when the smaller droid wasn’t nearby after the incident with the last version of 53NGW4N. But since that would imply that the younger droid was untrustworthy, she simply dropped her arm. She knew Marie wouldn’t comment; if it were relevant to their objective, J00HYN would have explained and if it wasn’t, it was irrelevant to Marie. She didn’t, however, anticipate 53NGW4N’s reaction.

“Is there a problem?” 53NGW4N frowned as she looked between the two J00 model droids.

“I simply had not noticed that I was still holding on,” J00HYN said. Let Marie decide the fault was with J00HYN; she could report for a check in with the AI department and the matter would become a non-issue.

“But…” J00HYN wasn’t sure what 53NGW4N was thinking. She hadn’t lied, although she had omitted that the heart of the reason was her unnecessary preference for 53NGW4N to remain close by. If it were J00HYN in the same situation, she would have pointed out the potential error in case repair was needed. 53NGW4N simply took another glance at Marie and stepped to the side so that the distance between her and J00HYN mirrored that between J00HYN and Marie.

“Let’s get started,” 53NGW4N said with a smile.

It was the first time any version of 53NGW4N had worked with another droid that wasn’t J00HYN. J00HYN saw 53NGW4N taking surreptitious glances at Marie throughout their first shift, her expression thoughtful. J00HYN supposed it might be strange for 53NGW4N since she and Marie were the same model. They had an identical build due to the same underlying skeletal structure. They had the same underlying programming, the only difference being the data they had both accumulated over the past three years since the J00 line was released. Aesthetically, Marie differed in that she had shorter, auburn hair that curled over her shoulders and grey eyes. However, J00HYN knew that, despite these differences, when standing side by side, they could be mistaken for sisters, if not twins. They even had the same vocal files.

J00HYN had never considered the similarities between her and other droids of her make particularly unsettling. It only made sense as it was more efficient to produce droids that could use the same parts and had compatible software.

“What do you like about your job?” she heard 53NGW4N ask Marie.

 “’Like’?” Marie replied, the confusion in her voice palpable.

“Is there any part you, um… Have a preference for?”

“It would be inefficient to have a preference for one aspect of my job over another.”

“So, nothing then…?”

J00HYN thought she might find it unsettling now, listening to Marie reply in the negative and turn her head away from 53NGW4N silently.

Marie’s dock was on the second basement level, so J00HYN and 53NGW4N were left alone at the end of their shift. After Marie left, J00HYN reached out to take 53NGW4N’s arm. At her touch, 53NGW4N closed the now unusual distance between them and caught her eye with a smile. J00HYN found the warmth where their arms touched comforting.

“Marie sunbaenim’s the same model as you, right?” 53NGW4N asked as they existed the elevator. “I thought you two would be more similar, but…”

“But?”

“You two seem so different. It’s hard to imagine that you even started out with the same programming.”

J00HYN paused, thinking back on Marie’s responses to 53NGW4N over the course of the day compared to her numerous first meetings with 53NGW4N. She knew in the hypothetical that time had made her decision making and reactions diverge from other J00 models. Yet it had never seemed such a stark difference until she watched Marie interact with 53NGW4N.

But then again, the last time she’d worked alongside another J00 model, she hadn’t known 53NGW4N.

She wasn’t sure if the past months’ change were a negative, as Marie’s reactions seemed to imply, or a positive. Regardless, she supposed it was for the best that she planned on making a check in with the AI department soon.

“It’s inevitable to collect idiosyncrasies over time,” she finally said.

“Sure but…” They had reached 53NGW4N’s dock, but J00HYN had no particular desire to rush and 53NGW4N seemed to still be thinking. “I guess I wasn’t expecting it to that extent.” She paused. “Is that how long it takes…?’

53NGW4N’s voice had lowered, her gaze on an indeterminate point in the distance.  J00HYN suspected she wasn’t looking for an answer. “It depends on the experiences one encounters,” she offered anyways.

She got a smile in response, 53NGW4N nudging J00HYN with her shoulder before gently extracting her arm from J00HYN’s hold. “See you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” She waited until 53NGW4N’s light began pulsing in and out with sleep.

53NGW4N had spotted them first, cutting off her awkward attempts to talk with Marie. A week in, and 53NGW4N hadn’t given up despite her lack of success in roping Marie into a conversation. J00HYN simply watched impassively, trailing a step behind the other two. It was strange to her to see Marie, who by any account should be similar to J00HYN, rebuke each topic posed systematically. She didn’t remember being so reticent.

“The looters,” 53NGW4N whispered, reaching a hand back towards J00HYN. J00HYN moved forward at the gesture to settle in at 53NGW4N’s shoulder. She followed 53NGW4N’s gaze down the alley to their left, catching a hint of movement.

“I’ll call for back up,” Marie said, moving back from the alley’s entrance.

“That’ll take too long. We will lose track of them,” J00HYN protested, although she remained still. Handling cases of part looting was expressly against regulations, but even though she routinely flouted regulations, this was one she knew to not break. Marie didn’t even respond, already making the call.

However, 53NGW4N darted forward before either of the older droids could react.

“53NGW4N,” she hissed. Marie looked to J00HYN, an appalled look on her face. 53NGW4N turned back to look at them both over her shoulder, eyebrows raised, but didn’t stop. As she turned the corner, J00HYN reluctantly pushed past Marie to follow. It was safer if they were in a pair, regardless of how blatantly they were breaking rules. “Stay here.”

“Irene—” Marie reached out to grab J00HYN’s arm but stopped before she made contact.

“Just get us back up,” J00HYN said and followed off after 53NGW4N.

She turned the corner after 53NGW4N just in time to hear her shout, “Police!” Just beyond 53NGW4N, she saw the two looters, face masks and lowered hat brims obscuring their faces. She could see the shape of a body held between the two of them.

She watched as the two figures looked at each other before promptly dumping the body to the side and dashing away.

“Don’t,” J00HYN said, grabbing onto 53NGW4N’s sleeve before she could move. 53NGW4N sighed, turning around with a rueful expression. “You know we are not supposed to handle crimes involving droids.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied. “I just saw them, and…”

J00HYN didn’t say that flouting regulations would likely be likely grounds for being reset but thought it grimly as 53NGW4N bent over to inspect the discarded droid.

The droid looked like a cleaning model, limbs articulated just enough to handle its chores rather than the care taken with the J00 and 53NG models. Its limbs were in disarray, the ligament system clearly broken. It could only move its neck to look at them from its sprawled jumble on the ground.

Marie turned the corner as 53NGW4N asked it, “What’s your name?” But there was no response from the droid.

“I requested back up. Do you have information on the looters?” Marie asked.

“They left down that alley.” She held out a hand, and Marie touched their fingers together to get the data update.

“We need to get the droid back to the department,” Marie said when she dropped her hand from J00HYN's. She crouched down next to 53NGW4N, who was still speaking ineffectually to the droid, and lifted it on her shoulder. The sight of the droid’s arms dangling limply down Marie’s back was pitiful.

“They might be hurt,” 53NGW4N protested, standing up as Marie did with a grimace on her face. “Here, I’ll carry them.”

“Why would it be in pain?” Marie asked. J00HYN realized Marie wasn’t connecting her knowledge of 53NGW4N’s inability to modulate her pain responses to her current concern.

“They can’t speak and let us know if they are. I was trying to get information, but…”

“That simply means it needs repairs. Its owner can handle that when they retrieve it.”

Even J00HYN could see the miscommunication as they continued to argue. However, she couldn’t figure out how to solve the issue despite seeing both 53NGW4N’s and Marie’s point of view. Pain was a temporary experience, important only as signal and meaningless in the long term. And even if the droid were in pain, returning them to the station quickly would be the most prudent course of action.

But then she thought about 53NGW4N in pain, carrying the discomfort with her until she was repaired. J00HYN didn’t know what it would be like to feel the pain of every limb torn from her torso without being able to dismiss it, or even able to give voice to it.

It sounded unbearable.

J00HYN stepped into the ongoing discussion, interrupting Marie in her abruptness. “Let 53NGW4N carry them. We need to return to the station.”

While Marie looked at her askance, she conceded to J00HYN’s authority in her own jurisdiction and lifted the droid from her shoulders to pass to 53NGW4N. 53NGW4N took the droid carefully, arranging their limbs in her arms so each was supported.

“We’ll take you back to the station so your owner can claim you,” she heard 53NGW4N tell them as they left the alley back towards the main roads. “We’ll retrieve your info there and contact them and hopefully we can get you repaired soon.”

The droid couldn’t talk or move and had no way to ask what had happened to them or what was going to happen to them. 53NGW4N had realized the distress this would cause when neither J00HYN and Marie had. J00HYN lacked the empathy 53NGW4N had.

It was decidedly a weakness on her part, J00HYN thought, watching 53NGW4N strap the droid into the police car that arrived and Marie relaying their update to the officers who had just arrived. She wondered what else she had missed in the past without this empathetic insight.

53NGW4N was the one to take the droid to be processed as lost goods while J00HYN was the one who was scolded by their handler and sent to the AI department for a re-tune. However, thanks to the data they collected, the looters were found so Marie could return to her patrol and J00HYN and 53NGW4N didn't need to be relocated.

When J00HYN came back from her recalibration, she found 53NGW4N waiting for her outside her pod. She was glad to have caught her; she didn’t expect this version of 53NGW4N to be here when they rebooted. Disobeying rules regarding droids parts looters would be considered a major software failure.

“I’m glad that’s over with,” 53NGW4N said when she saw J00HYN approach. “The engineering department was able to retrieve the info they needed so the droid will be back on her way home this evening.”

“A good outcome.” J00HYN took the moment to fix this version of 53NGW4N in her databanks, a version that acted with empathy and compassion first. She hoped the new version wouldn’t lose this feature.

“It’ll be nice to get back to patrolling with just the two of us.”

The sentiment surprised J00HYN. “Did you not enjoy talking to Marie?”

53NGW4N entwined her fingers, looking down at them with a frown. “I don’t want to be… negative towards Marie. But… It was tiring, I guess. It’s hard to talk with someone who isn’t willing to meet you partway, you know?” J00HYN thought back on their past patrols and felt like she understood, at least a bit.  

53NGW4N moved forward, taking J00HYN’s hand in hers. J00HYN was always the one to initiate contact between the two of them but hadn’t for their time patrolling together with Marie after that first day. Irrationally, it felt as though the previous data of 53NGW4N’s higher operating temperature had been erased, the warmth more comforting than she remembered after its absence.

“I’m glad you’re you,” 53NGW4N told her, squeezing her hand tightly. “I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you.”

“I feel the same.” Despite the irrationality and inconsistency 53NGW4N had introduced into her life, the words were entirely truthful. “Your presence is greatly enriching.”

53NGW4N grinned widely, and J00HYN thought she’d never seen a more beautiful smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

J00HYN couldn’t bring herself to reply but clasped her hands together to catch the remaining heat when 53NGW4N left go to dock. She waited for the sleep indicator as always before dragging her feet to her pod. Being reluctant to sleep was a new experience for her.

As predicted, 53NGW4N wasn’t at her dock for their next shift. J00HYN reported in at her handler’s office as usual, bracing herself to start over yet again.

“It’s nice to meet you, Irene sunbaenim,” 53NGW4N greeted her with a small wave. No bow.

“You can call me J00HYN” fell out of by habit, part of her system working even if she felt inexplicably frozen. “I look forward to working with you.”

That evening, she felt lost as she approached her daily report on the other droid. With the stark evidence of the AI engineers at work, she felt dread at the prospect of writing anything that would signal that a change needed to be made to 53NGW4N’s programming. Before this year, dread had been a hypothetical to her. At some point, when it came to 53NGW4N, the other droid’s wellbeing had become a higher priority than her job performance.

It was an unsettling state of affairs.

--

Four weeks in. It was currently the record for the longest period they’d had together. At the two week mark, 53NGW4N became quiet. Soon after, she was amenable to J00HYN habitually linking their arms together. By week three, she was back to rambling, even if it wasn’t as optimistically cheerful. Every time they hit a new length of time together, it meant that there would be something new to learn about 53NGW4N. That they were past the reiterations. It was a threshold J00HYN always looked forward to.

They were on patrol, J00HYN’s hands clasped together over 53NGW4N’s forearm, when she heard a beautiful song from a surprising closeness. They weren’t in an area that typically had audible music. She looked to 53NGW4N to see her reaction only to be shocked.

“What are you doing?”

The song stopped abruptly, 53NGW4N’s eyebrows flying upward. “I’m just humming…? I had to entertain myself while waiting for you to get repaired the other day.” Even though the most reasonable thing to do would be to immediately charge when they returned, J00HYN had been greeted by the other girl on her return. 53NGW4N always waited for her even when J00HYN told her that there was no need. She couldn’t exactly scold 53NGW4N for it when she did the exact same thing.

“But how are you doing it?” Droids weren’t equipped with a physical means of producing sound like a human’s larynx; instead they were given a set of vocal sounds and the means to place them together and manipulate the pitch contours when needed. Models like J00HYN tended to have particularly flat pitch; she mostly used her ability to manipulate her voice recordings in order to indicate questions. She’d never heard any droids attempt to sing. However, 53NGW4N was already far more human-like in her expression of emotion by changing her pitch and cadence as she spoke, which was perhaps why she’d managed to learn the skill.

“I just tried to replicate some of the patterns we’ve heard,” she replied with an easy shrug.

“Why?”

“I mean, if I can figure out singing, then it’s like being able to take the music with you.” She placed a finger over her lips thoughtfully. “Plus, you get to make the patterns yourself, only with your own sounds.” Her eyes brightened. “I made my own song. Wanna hear?”

“Yes.”

She started singing and J00HYN found herself slowing down to a full stop. 53NGW4N was looking off into the distance, likely only remaining still due to the pressure of J00HYN’s hand.

J00HYN was utterly entranced. It was still obviously 53NGW4N’s normal voice files, but she’d managed to manipulate them to create a natural, soulful sound. The song was short, and J00HYN found herself wishing it’d been longer. She flagged the memory recording so it was easily searchable for the future.

When she had finished, 53NGW4N’s self-consciousness seemed to flood back in. J00HYN caught a glimpse of pink cheeks before 53NGW4N bent her head down and her hair covered her face from view.

“Th- that’s all!” she said, punctuating her sentence with an awkward chuckle.

“It was beautiful.”

53NGW4N peeked out from under her bangs. “Really? I was just... playing around...”

J00HYN wasn’t sure what to say, so she simply repeated herself, adding a nod and tightening her grip around 53NGW4N’s elbow.

“I’d say you were just trying to be polite, but you don’t do that... So, um, thanks.”

Her voice was still small, but she’d shaken her hair back from her face and fell into step with J00HYN, so J00HYN decided that all was well.

--

“J00HYN!”

J00HYN heard 53NGW4N’s yell, but she also knew that unless she stayed at her current speed, the criminal they were chasing would reach an intersection that would allow for multiple routes of escape. Backup was on the way, but not fast enough.

She darted into the street as their target had, trying to shave off seconds that could lead to her losing sight of them.

“J—”

There was a sickening crunch as a truck ran into her.

She was flung to the pavement, left leg and arm crushed by the tires. The truck didn’t stop. It was fortunate that she wasn’t human.

There was a millisecond of immense pain before J00HYN dismissed the notifications. Her arm and leg were entirely unfunctional. 53NGW4N was there a second later, wrapping her arm around J00HYN’s shoulders and pulling her to the side of the road.

“Are you okay?” The pitch of her voice was frantic, hands skittering over J00HYN’s broken arm. She couldn’t feel it; the sensory wires must’ve been disconnected.

“I am alright. Go.” 53NGW4N lingered, a grimace still on her face. It was unlikely that they could catch up to the suspect at this rate, but one of them needed to try, and it couldn’t be J00HYN. At least they could pass on the information to the officers on their way.

“Wendy.” It was the first time she’d ever directly referred to 53NGW4N—any version of 53NGW4N-- with her given name, and it got the attention she’d intended. The other droid’s gaze stopped wandering over J00HYN’s damaged limbs, snapping to her eyes instead. “Go. Try the first alley off the right turn.”

“Understood,” she responded, uncharacteristically terse before turning heel and making for the road they’d seen the target go down.

The exchange left J00HYN feeling somewhat uneasy, but things were out of her hands now. She busied herself with putting in a damage notification to the department so someone could pick her up. She hoped someone would be available soon; this was an area that was particularly full of droid parts looters and her damaged limbs made her an obvious target. While she had her taser, her immobility made her feel vulnerable.

In the meantime, she took stock of her injuries. The skin had been pulled loose from the metal chassis, punctured in places from jagged edges protruding from underneath. The casing of her forearm had been flattened, breaking apart on the side. Running her functional hand along it, she found that, as she suspected, she had no mobility or sensation below the damage.

Her leg was in a similar condition. She could feel the sidewalk under her leg, but not her fingers running along the top. Only part of the large map of wires underneath had been severed. It was still immobile, unfortunately.

This mess would take ages to repair. Rewiring the sensory network alone was incredibly time consuming. Thanks to her too narrowed focus, she was going to be out of commission for quite a while.

What would happen to 53NGW4N? Would she take over for J00HYN? This version was at the five-week mark, which was more than enough training for her to take over patrol work. Or maybe by convincing 53NGW4N to pursue, she’d just caused 53NGW4N to need to be reset. The proper procedure in these situations was to call for back up and wait for their arrival. Particularly for droids. She’d done this many times in the past without receiving reprimand, despite the regulations. She suspected that her handler preferred for her, a repairable droid, to deal with situations before human officers could be at risk rather than worrying about her going off the rails and injuring a suspect. 53NGW4N likely wouldn’t be shown the same leniency.

Before she could think over the situation much further, a police car rolled up to the curb.

“Irene!” 53NGW4N got out of the car, a wide grin on her face. “I was so worried—but we got her. You guessed exactly right!”

“It is the more enclosed path of the options available,” J00HYN started explaining, but stopped when 53NGW4N just kept smiling, the corners of held up rigidly.

“Let’s get you back and fixed up, okay?” She s an arm under J00HYN’s functioning one, lifting J00HYN to a standing position. Without faltering, she leaned in close so J00HYN could use her as leverage to hop towards the open car door. Once there, she maneuvered J00HYN so that she could lean against the car and got in first. “C’mon.”

She reached out her arms and took J00HYN’s weight as J00HYN more or else fell into the car, not able to do much better as the door was on her injured side. 53NGW4N bore the impact with ease, pulling her into the seat and buckling her in. She flashed one last worried smile at J00HYN, before turning towards the front of the car as the officer in the front seat would suspect.

She didn’t realize until 53NGW4N moved to unbuckle her that she’d been holding J00HYN’s injured hand for the entire ride back.

Two weeks had passed between the time she’d reported for repairs and her next shift. Partway through dressing, 53NGW4N had already appeared outside her dock. Her hair and uniform were both in disarray, as though she’d rushed to get dressed. Instead of waiting patiently outside as usual, she bounded past the entrance of the dock, stopping just inside the door. While J00HYN finished dressing, 53NGW4N shifted her weight back and forth, fingers tightly knitted together.

“53NGW4N?”

“It’s still you. Thank goodness.” She remained in place, eyes trained on J00HYN’s face.

She didn’t seem ready to move, so J00HYN stepped forward to tidy 53NGW4N’s mussed hair. 53NGW4N still didn’t speak, so she moved on to 53NGW4N’s uniform, pulling her shirt to settle it properly over 53NGW4N’s shoulders.

“We should go,” she started gently.

This seemed to snap 53NGW4N out of whatever daze she’d fallen into. “Yes… I just… I thought you might’ve been reset.”

“No; I have too much idiosyncratic data for my beat to make a full reset worthwhile.”

“Don’t they keep a copy of your data?”

“Not for older models; it would take up too much storage. They keep the base software on hand for each model.” She looped her arm around 53NGW4N’s, pulling her towards the door. 53NGW4N followed her absently, gaze on the floor in front of them.

“So, if for some reason you were reset… you’d just be gone.” Her voice was low. J00HYN could just barely make out the words.

“They do not typically reset standard models like me. The AI department simply does a minor software change if needed or we are retired from service.” They had reached the elevator; she pressed the button before taking the moment to turn towards 53NGW4N. “Your situation is rare; you experience the resets due to being a prototype.”

The elevator came, but when J00HYN stepped forward, 53NGW4N didn’t.

“But if you were reset, no one would have your data.” 53NGW4N’s eyes finally met hers again. “I can’t even hold on to the data I collect each time.”

“Your data is likely held in the AI department to monitor your changes with each update.”

“Then I’m more likely to be able to be restored than you.” She grimaced. “And that’d only be the snippets of the time we’ve spent together. Which isn’t much.”

“We’ve been working together for 6 months and two weeks.”

“15% of your total active time.” J00HYN didn’t comment and 53NGW4N shook her head, pressing the button to recall the elevator. “Just… please take care of yourself? Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to ask as your junior, but…”

“I will.” This time when J00HYN moved towards the open doors, 53NGW4N followed without resistance. Her weight pressed into J00HYN’s shoulder for the brief duration of the elevator ride. It was a quiet shift.

--

“If it weren’t for you, all knowledge of my previous selves would just be gone.”

“They have copies of your old versions in the AI department.” It was now the third time she’d told 53NGW4N this; the first time for this version of 53NGW4N.

53NGW4N didn’t respond, looking down at her hands. By now, J00HYN knew that the information wouldn’t reassure 53NGW4N.

“I will retain the memories of your previous selves,” she said instead, as though the data of days with 53NGW4N weren’t already set apart, kept in full quality and marked protected in her mind. When 53NGW4N didn’t look up at her, she wrapped an arm around the smaller droid’s shoulders. 53NGW4N turned and buried her face in J00HYN’s shirt, hands clutching at the fabric.

This 53NGW4N wasn’t afraid of J00HYN’s data being lost. It was bittersweet to be able to provide comfort because of that. “I will retain them for as long as I am able,” she repeated. “I don’t know how long that will be, but I will keep them for you.”

“Do I seem like before? Am I like myself?” The question was muffled. It was a bit of a nonsensical question. J00HYN’s first instinct was to respond with a simple affirmative. It was impossible for 53NGW4N to be anything other than ‘like herself’. However, she could see that 53NGW4N wanted a qualitative response. She was familiar with the ways 53NGW4N said one thing while requesting another.

“Yes,” she responded firmly. “Every first meeting I recognize you. I find that your behaviors seem to have a consistent set of concerns and motivations.”

“I… That’s comforting.”

They should’ve moved to redock. Instead, J00HYN remained on the floor of 53NGW4N’s dock holding the smaller droid. She wished, as she had wished many times at this point, that 53NGW4N had data transfer capacities. It was distressing to see 53NGW4N have these repeating concerns in one form or another regardless of version.

She kept her grip tight until 53NGW4N finally pulled away. They wished each other good night, J00HYN waiting until 53NGW4N was asleep. It was likely she’d be reset before their next shift. At least 53NGW4N wouldn’t have to remain upset for much longer.

--

Another reset day. J00HYN frowned as she looked towards the dock door. Before 53NGW4N, she would’ve said that she didn’t have the capacity to dislike a state of affairs. However, each reset day caused her outlook to take on a negative cast.

They hadn’t even passed a full iteration; the previous version of 53NGW4N had only been live for four weeks. The day before it had snowed for the first time for the season. It was the first version of 53NGW4N to experience it. She’d scrunched her nose in distaste when J00HYN had asked her what she’d thought, but she found the other girl smiling gently as she looked around at the accumulating white on the sides of the road and the strings of lights hanging in window displays for the upcoming Christmas season. They’d stopped outside a storefront playing Christmas carols, and 53NGW4N hummed the cheery song for the rest of the shift.

She had the song stored in memory, alongside a few dozen other sound files of 53NGW4N singing. She could simply playback the recording, but… After the day 53NGW4N had explained how she sang, J00HYN had lined up a series of voice files she’d attempted manipulating, trying to work out how 53NGW4N had coaxed such a distinctively warm sound from her default voice. She didn’t feel like she’d quite succeeded, and so had kept the results to herself as a small side project.

But the point of singing wasn’t just the soundwave itself but creating the audio patterns and hearing how the space transformed it. She’d learned that from 53NGW4N too, hearing 53NGW4N’s singing change as they walked through narrow alleys and crowded streets, or stood in the cavernous droid storage room where her song could ring loudly, or shoulder to shoulder in one of their docks, her voice a muffled whisper.

J00HYN pulled up her audio manipulation program, opening . Despite being alone, she felt an irrational reluctance, but started with first song 53NGW4N had ever sung.

She wasn’t as quick as changing pitches as 53NGW4N, unused to the function, and her voice didn’t have a unique constellation of harmonics the way human voices did and 53NGW4N’s seemed to imitate somehow. The result was still a passable imitation of the recording in her memories, the notes reverberating against the sleek, cold glass of the empty dock. She wouldn’t even say it sounded bad. But something about it seemed hollow.

She tried a different song, the Christmas carol from the day before, focusing on the timing of her pitch changes. It didn’t change; if anything, the song fell flat in the quiet. She could see how it could be enjoyable to make the sound adjustments on the fly, but the simple tune began to sound like noise.

Ten minutes had passed with her standing alone in her dock; she was late for the first time, she realized with shock. Mourning the 53NGW4N she’d lost, she was delayed meeting the new 53NGW4N.

“There you are,” her handler said as she walked into the room. Her eyes flitted over to 53NGW4N who waved shyly, clad again in the too familiar white gown. Every memory with each version of 53NGW4N was clearly labeled and delineated. It should be easy for her to treat each new version as an individual. And yet, when she saw the newly anxious smile that 53NGW4N tended to shed by their second day together, the way her hands were clasped tightly together with skin going white over her knuckles, it was jarring.

“You’re late,” her handler said, looking at his watch. “Did something happen?”

J00HYN could only shake her head. Nothing had delayed her but her own memories.

“When was your last check up?”

“24 days ago, sir.”

“I want you to report in early. For today, take Wendy and get her docked. You can start her training tomorrow.”

“Understood.”

She reached out to wrap a hand over 53NGW4N’s forearm with a “This way,” ignoring the bewildered expressions on 53NGW4N’s face. Their handler, in contrast, had long gotten used to the familiar way she interacted with 53NGW4N at this point and simply went back to work without comment.

J00HYN introduced herself before dropping 53NGW4N off at the docks. The other droid still looked confused as J00HYN lingered, but J00HYN found that she couldn’t bring herself to be concerned. She perhaps was in fact overdue for a check in with the AI department, which was alarming in itself.

When she awoke, she checked her change notes. The AI department had shuffled her prioritization algorithm, which had become suboptimal over the past month. It seemed to be the only major change, and J00HYN was glad. Normally she was glad to receive code fixes, finding the idea of her programming potentially diverging in suboptimal ways distasteful. But now she could only find relief in the idea that they’d allowed her to remind mostly unchanged. She was beginning to understand why 53NGW4N valued the idea of idiosyncrasy when the department could change what was most important to her with no sign except a line in a log. 

--

“J00HYN, do you feel like you know me?”

J00HYN turned to look at 53NGW4N with faint alarm. This version was two weeks old, the period in which 53NGW4N grew concerned about her identity. This, however, wasn’t something she’d asked before.

“Yes,” she replied simply, uncertain of where the question was headed.

“It just seems hard to know each other after such a short period of time.” 53NGW4N looked down to where J00HYN’s hand was nestled in the crook of her elbow, tugging her out of the elevator. Before J00HYN could refute the statement, she shook her head. “I mean, I know you’ve known… some version of me at least for a long time. And you treat me with familiarity, but I barely know you.”

Once upon a time, J00HYN used to say she wasn’t programmed to feel emotions. But if emotions were just a reaction to outside stimuli, then who was to say she wasn’t capable of emotion? Perhaps she just needed the right sort of stimuli to see it for herself. Because right now, she couldn’t even find a label to put to the mess of reactions 53NGW4N elicited.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could find to say, letting her hand drop from 53NGW4N’s arm to her side. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I mean…” They had reached the docks. 53NGW4N stopped outside the door of her own, her expression thoughtful. The back of 53NGW4N’s hand brushed against J00HYN’s, the warmth lingering for a second before 53NGW4N turned to lean against the glass wall. “When I think about it, I find it really touching, actually. Somehow, all the ‘me’s before this version of me left this positive impression that leads you to treat me this way. But I can’t help but think, can you really know this me if I always come back different?”

“You’ve asked me that before.” Some form of ‘Am I still me? Am I the me you know?’ was a landmark point for J00HYN in each iteration by this point.

“I have?”

“Every version.” Repetition didn’t bother J00HYN the way it would a human. What did hurt was the way 53NGW4N’s face twisted into a frown. But this version of 53NGW4N wasn’t those versions. This version didn’t know herself. This version didn’t know J00HYN.

 “Oh.”

“You always ask me if the current version of you is like the past versions,” she started slowly, the same reassurance she normally gave. “There’s always small differences, but the core motivations are always the same…”

But I barely know you. Can you really know me?

“J00HYN.” She hadn’t even realized she’d stopped paying attention until 53NGW4N called her name, placing a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she found 53NGW4N was smiling at her, her eyes sympathetic. She hadn’t realized she’d done anything to elicit said sympathy. “I want to get to know you. And you can get to know this me.”

“That’s what I want too.”

53NGW4N let her hand slide down J00HYN’s arm, finding her hand and clasping it tightly for a second before stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

53NGW4N docked herself, eyes still on J00HYN until she fell into sleep mode. J00HYN found herself walking forward, placing a hand against the closed door.

Repetition didn’t bother J00HYN the way it would a human. What did hurt was seeing every single version of 53NGW4N agonizing over the same issue with only J00HYN’s clumsy words for comfort.

She wished she could make the cycle stop for good so that 53NGW4N didn’t have to be in distress yet again.