-2- through the rest of my life

sawdust and diamonds

J00HYN opened her eyes. A notification told her that she and 53NGW4N were required to report to her handler’s office in 15 minutes. A second notification informed her that her system check had come up clean, so the small blips she had experienced the last time she was functioning were a mystery. She had her bimonthly repair appointment soon, so she decided that she would only request repair sooner if the blips impeded her work. Satisfied, she unplugged herself and moved to her shelving to retrieve her uniform.

“J00HYN, what—” The voice cut off with a small ‘eep’. J00HYN looked over to find 53NGW4N standing outside the door of her dock, face covered by her hand. She was dressed in the flimsy gown J00HYN had met her in. “I woke up, and I think we have to go to a meeting, but I don’t know where to go?” Her voice was muffled by her insistence on hiding.

“I will lead you there,” she responded, continuing to pull out pieces of her uniform. She pulled on undergarments, more a matter of habit than function as humans reacted negatively to finding out a human-shaped android wasn’t wearing said articles of clothing. Next came her uniform which consisted of simple dark navy slacks and a short sleeved teal shirt with a badge affixed to the pocket. Finally, she pinned her hair back into a tight, neat bun before picking up her shoes and leaving the dock.

“Are you alright?” J00HYN found herself asking 53NGW4N again, confused when she found the other android with her face still hidden in her hands.

“Are you dressed?” 53NGW4N peered between her fingers, dropping her hands when she saw J00HYN fully clothed. “I didn’t mean to, um, walk in on you or anything.”

“There’s no need for modesty,” J00HYN reminded her gently, putting her shoes on. “Besides, the docks are made with glass fronts.”

“That’s true.” 53NGW4N laughed, and J00HYN froze at the unexpected sound. 53NGW4N didn’t seem to notice her surprise. “I’m sorry; I seem to have been programmed with inconvenient concepts.”

“There’s no need to apologize for your programming,” J00HYN said after a millisecond too long pause. “It will make your time among humans easier if these things are instinctual. But there is no need for it to impede you between the two of us.” She jammed her foot into the second shoe before standing up and gesturing for 53NGW4N to follow. She decided not to dwell on the momentary delays that 53NGW4N’s presence seemed to provoke without reason. “We will retrieve a uniform for you from the closet before our briefing.”

To J00HYN’s chagrin, they arrived five minutes late. She’d found 53NGW4N a fitting uniform from the supply closet before they left the basement level. The shorter droid now stood beside her fully dressed, looking far more comfortable than earlier. She stood up straight, hands still at her sides unlike her previous fidgeting. It was what J00HYN would expect from another droid, but she felt like she couldn’t make any assumptions about 53NGW4N.

“I apologize for the delay,” J00HYN said after her handler greeted them. “We didn’t allot time to outfit Wendy.”

The handler waved his hand. “I should have remembered to give you extra time. You did good making sure Wendy is ready to go out.” He turned, digging through a bag on top of his desk. He pulled out a standard issue taser, handcuffs, and a badge and handed them to 53NGW4N who took them with a frown. However, unlike the charging dock, 53NGW4N seemed to understand the gear she was handed and tucked each away in the appropriate slots on her belt.

“Today you will go on your normal rounds, only with Wendy tagging along. Every time you’re assigned to patrol with Wendy, we’ll need a report on the day so we can assess her performance.”

“Understood.”

He turned to 53NGW4N. “Any questions?”

“No, I think I’m good. I seem to have information on the typical procedure for a patrol shift. And if I have any specific questions, Irene can help me, right?”

J00HYN wasn’t expecting 53NGW4N to turn to her but nodded once she saw the cue for confirmation.

“Irene has been assigned to this area of Seoul for three years; she should know anything you need to know.

“I understand.”

He turned back to J00HYN. “Take care of her,” he commanded, pointing at 53NGW4N. “She’s a very expensive piece of equipment. The R&D guys will have my head if we lose her parts to looters. We’re sending her with you because I managed to convince the department heads that you would be more careful than a human officer. Plus…” He paused, looking at her thoughtfully. “This’ll also help convince the department to keep you around when you hit 5 years. Man, one of the oldest droids in the division…” He rubbed his chin, eyes seeming to focus on a point just beyond her head.

“Yes, sir. I understand,” she responded when he didn’t continue.

53NGW4N was looking between the two of them with a frown. J00HYN didn’t understand why.

“You probably don’t even care about that sort of thing, do you? It wouldn’t be in your programming.”

In actuality, J00HYN had found that she would prefer to continue working rather than be wiped and recycled at the end of her commissioned five years. She suspected that he wouldn’t appreciate hearing that, however, and remained quiet.

“Anyways, you can go ahead and head out on your usual routine. If today goes well, you’ll be back to the normal schedule this week. Don’t forget to submit your report before charging.”

“Understood, sir.”

 

53NGW4N was quiet as J00HYN led her to the underground shuttle that took them to the far side of the city. J00HYN had been paired with other droids before, typically for a day or two at most during periods of heavy crime. Those shuttle rides had been similarly quiet. J00HYN would normally initiate a data transfer before leaving the building so that her temporary partner would know the peculiarities of her beat as well as she did before they began working. She couldn’t imagine the most efficient way to accurately transfer the information through language alone, particularly when talking about the locations from a distance. How humans managed to transfer knowledge successfully through language on a daily basis, particularly considering ambiguity was abundant in human language, was utterly baffling to her.

In the seat next to her, hands neatly folded in her lap, 53NGW4N was gazing around the shuttle car. Her eyes flitted from passenger to passenger, seemingly enthralled with the novelty. More than a few people had noticed her unusual interest, staring back at her warily. In their uniforms, there was no reason to suspect that they weren’t human police and a police officer being overly curious was worrisome to many in the area they were traveling to.

The shuttle turned, and there was a muffled thunk followed by a metallic rolling sound that was growing louder. J00HYN looked around for the source, her eyes landing on the metal cylinder rolling towards their feet just as 53NGW4N leaned over to pick it up.

“Don’t—” J00HYN started when 53NGW4N lifted it to eye level with a frown and twisted off the top.

J00HYN could only stare as 53NGW4N brought it to her nose and took a sniff. She turned to J00HYN with a smile. “It’s tea.” She screwed the top on and stood up, holding the canister high. “Did somebody drop this?”

“That’s mine, dear.” The voice belonged to an older woman seated a few seats in front of them. She looked to be at least 70 years old, draped in a brightly colored shawl that stood out in the dim tunnel light. J00HYN kept her eyes firmly fixed on 53NGW4N as she walked down the car to the woman.

“Here you go,” she heard 53NGW4N say.

“Thank you dear. I was going to have to go through all the trouble of hunting it down when we got to my stop.”

“It’s not a problem!” 53NGW4N’s voice was naturally cheerful. J00HYN had always assumed that quality wasn’t possible due to androids’ voice programming. Perhaps 53NGW4N’s voice capabilities had been improved in the same way her emotional affect had so it could better communicate her emotive capacity.

“Is it your first day on the job?” The woman continued, leaving J00HYUN confused yet again. People rarely continued conversations with her beyond what was necessary, and she couldn’t see the purpose of the woman’s question.

“It is!” 53NGW4N answered. “I haven’t been on the shuttle before.”

“Are you not from Seoul?”

“I…” Why was 53NGW4N pausing? “Um, no, actually. I’m from somewhere without public transportation like this so it’s exciting for me.” That was a blatant lie. 53NGW4N was designed and produced here in the city just as she was. Why was she lying? Did she lie regularly? Was this faulty programming? Should she call the department and have them return for repairs?

“I’m sure this old dark train won’t be exciting for long, but it makes me happy to see someone enjoying themselves this morning. Good luck on your first day, dear!”

“Thank you, ma’am!”

J00HYN was still deciding what course of action she should take when 53NGW4N returned to her seat.

“Why did you lie?” she asked the moment 53NGW4N sat down.

“Lie…?”

Did she forget where she was manufactured? Did her learning algorithm lead to her overriding old data? J00HYN came up with hypothesis after hypothesis as 53NGW4N looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean… oh! When I told the lady I wasn’t from Seoul? Did you mean that?”

“Yes.”

“But that wasn’t a lie. Well, not really…” 53NGW4N was definitely in need of repair. It was a shame; the other android was interesting as she was. But she couldn’t risk 53NGW4N malfunctioning in the field.

“I am going to contact the department and ask to be recalled,” she said.

“What—oh, no, don’t do that. I’m sorry. I should explain.” 53NGW4N took her hand suddenly, the warmer surface temperature of the other droid imparting warmth. “I understand that it isn’t factual to say I’m not from Seoul. But the lady would’ve been concerned if I told her I was.”

“What do you mean?” She stopped the messaging process she had running to let 53NGW4N answer.

“Um…” 53NGW4N’s grip on her hand shifted, her fingers loosely wrapped over J00HYN’s palm. “How in depth should I explain?”

“Everything. I don’t understand.”

“Okay so…” 53NGW4N hummed lightly while organizing her response, producing a sweet, pure note. “I had been looking around the shuttle because it was a new experience for me, and since she asked if it was my first day, she had noticed me doing so. But taking the shuttle is usually a daily occurrence for most people who live in Seoul. Therefore, it would be very confusing for her if I was both ‘born’ in Seoul but had never been on the shuttle before. It would be easier for me to explain this discrepancy by me claiming to be new to Seoul if I wanted to maintain the facade of being human. Does that make sense?”

J00HYN couldn’t find any fault in the logic, assuming 53NGW4N was working from correct assumptions regarding the woman’s thoughts. “It seemed to have fulfilled the goal of maintaining a human appearance,” she allowed. “How did you come to your conclusions about her state of knowledge?”

“I…. Hm…” 53NGW4N’s hand moved from its position around J00HYN’s to cover . J00HYN found her hand suddenly cooler. “I’m not sure exactly. I remember thinking that she must’ve found my actions unusual when she asked me if it were my first day, and therefore I must’ve appeared to be doing something I wouldn’t do if I was used to the situation. And there had been other people staring at me, which supported that conclusion…” She stopped, tilting her head. “Is that too much explanation?”

J00HYN shook her head. “I didn’t understand the situation; I wouldn’t have been able to come to the same conclusions you did. Even with the new information, I’m not sure I would have made the same conclusion independently. It must be the upgrades to your software.”

“I suppose so. We could always ask to make sure I’m properly functional… Oh, is this our stop?”

 

They emerged from the station into a worn-down area, the sidewalks narrow and crumbling. Seoul had been a hot spot for the technology boom of the past decade, 53NGW4N and J00HYN herself as products of the era. Unfortunately, alongside huge advancements in technology, the boom has also produced a heavily overgrown city. Buildings were packed together as tightly as possible, older structures knocked down to build even taller ones to make the most of the limited urban space. Even for more successful inhabitants, space was at a high premium. For the poor who had been scraping by, housing was a distant dream except in areas like this. The weak morning sun barely reached the street with the shadows cast by the towers over the thin pavement.

The smog was thick in this area and everyone they passed had at least a rag covering their nose and mouth. While they technically didn’t require it, not wearing a face mask was a dead giveaway that they weren’t human. They stood out enough already in their uniforms alone. J00HYN fished her mask out of a pocket, passing an extra to 53NGW4N who put it on without comment after a moment of looking around.

“There are so many homeless here,” she heard 53NGW4N whisper beside her.

“There is,” she replied. “There always has been.” She expected a response from 53NGW4N, but instead the other android fell into step behind her as she set off on her usual patrol route. As they walked, J00HYN would tell her details about the areas they walked through, what to watch for and problematic hot spots for crimes. 53NGW4N was attentive, but she noticed that 53NGW4N’s gaze tended to fall on the beggars sitting on the scant benches or by store entrance stairs. was set in a constant grimace that J00HYN wasn’t certain how to address. Instead she let her eye follow 53NGW4N’s, trying to piece together what was holding 53NGW4N’s attention.

Even she could see that the humans sitting alongside the road were in poor condition, between ragged layers of clothing and the signs explicitly asking for help. She had seen such people stop passersby, but whether it was her uniform or her inhuman lack of affect, she’d never been stopped herself, so she’d never had a reason to reflect on their situation further. 53NGW4N seemed concerned despite seeing these people for the first time.

Perhaps this was another thing she lacked the capacity to understand while 53NGW4N’s updated system could. She didn’t feel physical discomfort; needing to charge only meant a blinking red notification while pain was simply an unpleasant localized notification she could quiet after assessing the potential for continued damage to her limbs. The most she felt was disappointment when events didn’t follow her predictions or fleeting wants for a situation to be different than it was in reality. As long as she was functional, she would be kept sheltered and once she wasn’t, she would be decommissioned before she was aware.

She had no capacity to suffer like the humans she saw, she concluded. That they suffered was simply a fact that was bundled along other pieces of data about the city. But it didn’t seem to be for 53NGW4N. Did that mean 53NGW4N had the capacity to suffer?

She wasn’t sure that she liked the hypothesis she reached.

“What do you like about your job?” 53NGW4N asked. They had been walking quietly for the past fifteen minutes. After they had completed their first loop of J00HYN’s typical rounds, J00HYN had fallen silent since she had already imparted all the data she felt necessary.

“What do I like?” J00HYN repeated.

“Yes. What’s the best part?”

The question was baffling to her; her job was what she was programmed to do. Doing any aspect of it fulfilled her objectives, which was all that was relevant. But 53NGW4N was looking over to her with a smile awaiting an answer.

“By ‘like’… you mean ‘a preference for compared to other aspects’.”

“Yeah.”

J00HYN thought the question over, wondering how to produce an answer. Her shifts were 26 hours long. She was awoken at her scheduled time, shuttled out to the same station, and walked one of a handful of loops around the area. At unpredictable intervals she was called to the scene of smaller crimes that could be handled alone or at least initially contained by herself. She occasionally sustained injuries, but they were repaired at the end of her shift. After any necessary repairs, she would dock until her next shift in 30 hours. No part of this cycle stood out as more or less preferable, and she said as such.

“Really, nothing?”

“Everything I do equally fulfils my purpose.”

“Then does that mean you just like everything?” 53NGW4N said with a laugh.

“By default, yes.” There was a pause, and J00HYN realized that she should return the inquiry. It was rare that she was expected to uphold a conversation. She had never been required to converse with another android. “Is there something you like?”

“Hmm… I haven’t even been here a single day yet.” She laughed again, but her gaze left J00HYN’s face to look out at the road before them. She tapped a finger against as she considered the question, and J00HYN thought 53NGW4N’s lips were a particularly pleasing shape. There was no need to look at 53NGW4N to wait for an answer, and she resumed her watch of the neighborhood.

“I guess, if I were to say anything, so far I’ve liked walking outside with you. You know so much about the area.”

“I have been doing my job for three years.”

“You have an eye for detail, though.”

“Normally I would’ve simply transferred all of my knowledge directly. However, due to your particular build, it was necessary for me to attempt to convey it with words alone.” She paused. “I’m not sure whether I succeeded in choosing the most salient details.”

“Oh… I’m sorry for the inconvenience my design has caused.” 53NGW4N ducked her head in apology, causing J00HYN to tap 53NGW4N’s shoulder and shake her head.

“It is fine. Please do not apologize for factors out of your control.”

“I, well, um…” 53NGW4N pressed her lips together as she resumed her initial line of thought. “But I think the small details are the most interesting. It’s the kind of knowledge I wasn’t preprogrammed with and I might’ve not noticed without your experience.”

“To be honest, I initially was disappointed to discover you were not built with a data transfer method,” J00HYN admitted, hoping 53NGW4N didn’t think she still thought the situation inconvenient. “However, I wonder if this situation is the reason why your engineers neglected to give you one. While I am not skilled in prioritizing information, a human partner would be able to readily present you with the most relevant facts of a situation.”

“Perhaps that’s what it is,” 53NGW4N agreed. “At the very least, I’m enjoying myself. A walking tour from J00HYN.” 53NGW4N grinned, and J00HYN found herself staring for a second longer than needed to take in the visual stimulus.

As they continued to patrol, 53NGW4N kept up a stream of questions about people and buildings they passed. Sometimes it was something she had neglected to mention in her initial lecture. Other items were things she’d neglected to notice herself. She was beginning to see the value of having a partner on her rounds. As 53NGW4N’s information prioritizing algorithms were fundamentally different, their conversation helped her to acquire new information she hadn’t realized was there for her to notice. 53NGW4N also continually linked things to world knowledge J00HYN wouldn’t have considered relevant. The other droid’s gentle chatter was enriching her knowledge of a beat she’d thought she knew entirely.

She hadn’t known how to answer 53NGW4N’s earlier question, but now she thought that perhaps she ‘had a preference for’ walking along with 53NGW4N. It was a shame that this was a temporary arrangement.

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birdii
the "partial" chapter i'd held back grew into the length of two again? here is the whole thing this time in return for your patience. thank you <3

Comments

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paradoxicalninja
#1
Chapter 3: 😭
sillyseiya #2
Chapter 6: HOLY THIS IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL PLS CONTINIUE
aRedBerry #3
OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITEDHHHNNNGGFFFNNHH!!! My first time reading a fic this kind..Demn i was ready to cry for an angsty ending, thought this was completed lol. Looking forward to the next chapter! Plot is sUPERBB and the story is SO well-written, author! Loved this!
-WenRene15- #4
Chapter 6: Please let them live happily
Outokana2
#5
Chapter 6: Oh my god I'm so excited!!! I was so scared that they are just gonna get caught and that would be the ending (I've probably been reading too much angst recently)
yuiringo #6
Chapter 6: Thank you for the update!!! And OMG something finally happens????!!!! The whole action sequence is intense and this whole chapter is heart-wrenching in different ways possible. I'm looking forward to how this AU universe expands in the next updates since we're out of the facilities and the patrol routines that cover only the surfaces of the world around them.
MystiKumori #7
Chapter 6: So intense.
pastelbluepink
#8
Chapter 6: I was close to crying :((( I hope they’ll be fine. Humans are just terrible lol
free4hmax #9
Chapter 6: Oooh this is so interesting! It reminds me a lot of the series "Human" what with android concept and all.
Can't wait to read more!
Ingravida
#10
Chapter 6: I'm going to be devastated for days if this ends with angst T_T I'm hoping for them to be free and happy *-*

Thanks for updating!