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Chanyeol felt the tingles spread through him. They’d reached a restaurant on the outer side of the market. Joining the hungry crowd, they sat at a wooden table hammered together cheaply. Two warm bowls of breakfast soup landed on their table after their arrival. Ever since, he hadn’t managed to say a word.

His throat felt tight. Worse was that he was really sweating. Beyond nervous for no explainable reason. Awkwardness buzzed like the war zone around them. Chanyeol couldn’t think straight or concoct anything to say. Leading Namjoo this far to a silent breakfast, because at the bathhouse she wasn’t allowed to eat with him.

What he thought might be a walk into the market to explore had quickly transitioned into something else. None of it he had expected.

Everything had just somehow happened on a whim.

Chanyeol felt ridiculous.

“My mom,” Chanyeol blurted urged to say something. Heat intensified neck down when Namjoo looked at him. He gulped. “My mom makes better soup.”

Her eyes traveled to the side. She awkwardly mumbled, “Oh…”

He was so embarrassed! What the hell was he saying? Hurriedly shoveling a spoonful into his mouth Chanyeol nearly choked when the broth burned his tongue. With much effort he managed to painfully swallow.

“It’s freshly cooked,” Namjoo noted stirring her soup.

Chanyeol opened his mouth to retaliate when Namjoo switched their bowls.

Shyly glancing around, Namjoo said, “That one should be cooler.”

She offered a quick smile that caught his breath. Lowering her head, she busied herself with stirring his soup. He stole a glance when Namjoo took a bite of the soup. Immediately looking into the distance when her eyes drifted to him.

Suddenly occupied with his food he took a bite, another, and then another until his mouth was filled to the capacity. This time he ended up choking and coughing into his arm. Literally dying of embarrassment while Namjoo giggled across the table. She hid behind her hands when he shot her a stare.

Calming and half smiling, Namjoo eased up. “I’m not laughing at you, really.”

He didn’t quite believe her.

Her lips stretched upwards. Namjoo pulled the smile back down. Clearing , she clarified, “I didn’t laugh at you.” Waiting a beat, she explained, “It’s just, it felt like a silly situation.” She shrugged with her eyes darting away, “That’s all.”

Picking up her spoon she took a tiny bite of the food. Shifting her focus from him.

“I’ve only ever eaten alone with my mother,” Chanyeol admitted. Through his peripheral vision he noticed the slight lift of her head. Occupied on his bowl, Chanyeol stirred its contents. Watching the steam rise.

He couldn’t bear to look at her. He was too shy.

“I’ve never sat alone with anyone before.”

“But you’re with me.”

“Yea,” he shyly said, insides fluttering, “you’re the first.”

There it was. The strange swirl of tension in the air again. That made their breaths rise, their hearts lurch. Chanyeol had to dig around for his courage again.

Namjoo was always doing something to him he never experienced before. Rattling him. Distorting his sense of balance. Sending puffs of clouds through him.

These things were new to him. These things made him feel very different.

Sometimes his thoughts didn’t feel like his own.

He thought of her last night. Walking in the courtyard alone. Prettily. Becoming more of the scenery to him than the cherry blossom tree, the pond, the other guest house. Generating a sense of peace through him.

The urge visited him again. To sneak another peek.

“Hey!” A voice called out.

Perking up, Chanyeol searched through the throng of people.

“Hey!” The voice came again.

Curious, Chanyeol swiveled in his seat to look behind him. Spotting an arm waving in the air. A crowd of busy men dispersed and Minseok appeared. An eager grin on his face, eyes bright.

These emotions were really strange to him.

Chanyeol gave Namjoo a last glance before staring into his bowl. Disappointment prowled through him and he fought to ward off the jealousy he had previously felt.

Minseok was just Minseok.

Guy who never took anything seriously.

But Chanyeol glanced up at the second in command standing beside their table chatting it up with Namjoo. Like they were long time friends. Like they were already acquaintances.

And his eyes glowed.

Why was he so excited?

It bothered Chanyeol.

“I heard you weren’t at the bathhouse!” Minseok exclaimed. “How could you two come out without me?”

Chanyeol nearly dropped his spoon when the friend nudged him. “Hey, careful!” he snapped.

Minseok gave him an absurd frown. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit that hard.”

Sighing annoyed, Chanyeol stared into his soup. Unable to control these fluctuating emotions. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

He shouldn’t be irritated with his friend, but he was.

“We left really early,” Namjoo spoke up.

“It’s hardly morning,” Minseok stated.

“I know.” She shot him an accusing look.

“Didn’t you say you needed another healing balm?” Chanyeol asked.

“You were going to buy me one? Then I shouldn’t have come.” Minseok teased with a wiggle of the brow. Leaning toward Namjoo, he mused, “Isn’t the general so generous?”

A flash of heat passed through him when her eyes jot his direction.

Why was this even happening?

Pulling some coins out, he declared, “I’m done. I’m leaving.” Placing the money on the table he got up to walk off.

He couldn’t stand this. Himself acting like this, feeling these foreign things. Being upset with Minseok for no reason. Seeing the two of them together. Thinking Namjoo was pretty and he had wanted to be alone with her longer.

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Namjoo watched Chanyeol dissolve into the growing crowd. Half feeling like she’d done something wrong.

“I wonder why he’s in such a hurry.” Minseok scratched his head.

After finishing the rest of her bowl, she went with Minseok searching through the market for his healing balm. She had offered his back, but he just waved her off. Telling her to keep it in case of emergency. What emergency, she wasn’t sure and was pretty confident she’d never use his jar. It would sadly go to waste in her room.

“Look at these!” Minseok held up a bag of familiar looking treats. Widely smiling, he asked, “Lets feed some to Sun later.”

Uneasily smiling, Namjoo shook her head. “No thanks.”

He paid for the treats regardless. “Have you been on a horse before?”

“It’s ok, I don’t really need to…” Namjoo waved her hands to ward off the suggestion, but Minseok pulled her along when they returned to the bathhouse. Immune to the curious onlookers as he led her down the hall toward the courtyard.

Finally releasing her when the horse neighed upon their arrival. Namjoo stretched away. His palm touched her back urging her forward.

“He’s a nice guy,” Minseok assured digging into his pocket for one of those chips. Offering it to the horse, he said, “Lets give the pretty lady a ride, huh?”

“I said I’m ok,” Namjoo weakly repeated when he started untying the horse who flailed his head happily. His shiny dark hair flying with every movement.

Minseok was already stretching his arm out eager to get her on. Namjoo observed his hand. Too late to back out. Besides, Minseok did seem like a nice guy. Probably bored hanging around the bathhouse like her.

His hand was like a cup sleeve compared to Chanyeol’s big scarf-like hand, but it was warm and she felt the strength there.

“Hold onto the reins,” Minseok handed them to her and instructed, “step on here.” He pointed to the stirrup.

Namjoo struggled but managed to get on. Letting out an ecstatic whoop, “I got on!” Yelping when Sun stepped to the side. Falling forward she clutched the horse’s torso afraid.

“There, there,” Minseok patted his beloved animal. Gently telling her, “Sit up and hold the reins. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to fall,” she whined.

Minseok scoffed. “Then hold him tightly.” Grabbing the front reins, he slowly led the horse into the forest.

The tree branches brushed against her shoulders as they left the bathhouse behind. Left with no choice now, Namjoo slowly eased herself up. Straightening her back. Relishing that she was so high up. The smell of the earth was even stronger up here. The fresh greenery bountiful around them.

“Where are we going?” Namjoo wondered.

“Sun needs some exercising.” Minseok replied. “We’re going for a walk to stretch his muscles.”

“Oh…I guess horses need to work out, too.” She murmured. “Can’t you just let him roam around?”

“I need him close by in case of emergency,” Minseok replied.

“I suppose that makes sense,” Namjoo said.

The foliage grew thicker the further they went. Reaching her hand up she brushed her fingers against the tree leaves hanging above her. It actually felt really nice on the horse. Tilting her head, she stared at the sun sparkling through the gaps of the leaves. Inhaling the calm washing through her.

She caught a smile on Minseok’s face when she lowered her head and he turned to face the front. Blinking, lost, she asked, “What?”

“You’re not bored yet, are you?”

“Huh? No,” she answered. “It’s quite nice.”

Smugly grinning, he glanced over his shoulder, “Want to go faster?”

Stunned by the abrupt suggestion, Namjoo hurriedly shook her head. “No need to. I like this pace.”

Stuck, Namjoo couldn’t swivel away or jump down when Minseok stopped the horse. Moving aside he gripped onto the reins and skillfully pulled himself up since her feet her was glued to the stirrups.

“Wait…wha…” she twisted and turned slightly confused about what he was up to, but his arms were already around her. Front pressed to her back. His legs sturdily holding her in place.

A shout as he yanked the reins and the horse took off. Speeding through the forest blurring around her. Namjoo screeched. The velocity of the wind kicked up. Slapping into her face. Sun galloping far into the distance, exhilarated after being tied up for two days.

Her voice caught in . She clenched her eyes shut scared. Angling her head away from the wind constantly whipping her. Shrinking against Minseok.

“Look,” he exclaimed. Namjoo popped an eye open. Saw nothing but a flush of trees. Turning she saw the same scenery she had shared with Chanyeol not very long ago.

The strip of blue melting along the skyline. Only today the sky was a hint of orange, bright yellow, and pastel pink. The sun halfway to rising though the world was already lit with light. Minseok pulled the horse to a stop in order to enjoy the view.

Not very far out birds were noisily chirping. The wind cut past combing through the field of grass they were in and exactly where Chanyeol had come to save her. Sliding her gaze to the corner of her lids she peered toward the forest they had burst out of. Seeing part of Minseok’s face.

Their eyes met briefly before she turned away. Realizing she had been clutching his hands throughout the ride.

Chanyeol’s second in command was strangely close. His body warm to her back. The arms locked around her. His legs pressing into hers.

As if sensing, he diverted her attention. Adding a hint of passion to his tone, “Isn’t it pretty? I’ve never seen the sun like this.”

The forest dissipated. Her eyes bringing the sun into better focus. She had never watched the sun set or rise before. Not with Chanyeol. Not even in her room from the bedroom window. In real time, the earth was something Namjoo took for granted. She didn’t glorify in its beauty.

When it became bright it was time for work. Once she completed her dues at the office it was already night time. Artificial light became her world.

Namjoo didn’t mull over simple things like nature. She went for exquisite and phenomenal articles. The Everest Mountain. The Eiffel Tower in Paris. To the Buckingham Palace in England. The Tokyo Skytree. The grandest of places on earth.

The shoreline always had to exceed expectations.

Namjoo was that kind of person.

In her life she aimed to over achieve. Had to be at the top. To be accepted in a male dominated world. Receive the pat on the back her father never gave her, and when she got it, she was still greedy for more.

Chanyeol, her boyfriend, had been angry with her for it.

Growing up in a pressurized world; taught to be the best was the fault why Namjoo was selfish, self-entitled, stubborn.

She wasn’t a bad person. Just, she was her first priority.

Now, Namjoo watched the sun merge with the skyline. A bright orb absorbing every cloud of darkness. Signaling a bright new day. For change. A different start. A step into another beginning.

She thought about Chanyeol.

Her Chanyeol.

The last time they talked had been an argument.

For whatever reason it was not Chanyeol who brought her here. He wasn’t punishing her.

He couldn’t punish her.

He was in a coma.

“We should go back.” Namjoo said. Troubled, remorseful.

“Breakfast should be ready, don’t you think?” Minseok asked turning the horse around.

“You came out without eating?” Namjoo asked.

“I walked into the general’s room to find out he was gone. Then I found out you were out on his order,” Minseok told. “I was wondering what you two were up to.”

“Well, you saw. It wasn’t anything.” Namjoo verified.

Minseok hummed a kind of humored laugh. “If Lady Chunghee knew the general ate with another lady, her heart would break.”

The forest grew above them casting a ray of shadow over Namjoo’s face. After a few seconds the branches spanned out letting light flow through. Allowing a moment of daunting to wash over her.

“Chunghee?” Namjoo repeated.

“Lady Chunghee, Prime Minister Jin’s first daughter, the prettiest girl in all of the land,” Minseok mulled. “They’re slotted to get married in the future. Ah…our general, he’s quite popular with the ladies.”

Minseok beamed, amusing himself.

A rush of motions washed through her. Namjoo dug her fingers into the edge of the saddle. Struggling not to be affected.

General Park Chanyeol from the Gangeum Dan clan was not Park Chanyeol, son of an engineer and college professor. But the slow growing smile she’d seen that morning flashed inside her head. Without control, her heart managed to thud.

This wasn’t right.

It didn’t make sense.

Namjoo shouldn’t be feeling this way.

These people weren’t the same. There was no way they were the same.

Namjoo internally wanted to shake herself awake. Get a grip! Don’t be jealous. Don’t be hurt. This Chanyeol was not hers. Just let it go and forget it.

But it didn’t work like that.

“Hey! General!” Minseok stretched his arm up to wave.

Waking, Namjoo glanced up to find Chanyeol standing by the shed. His stallion several feet away snacking on grass never minding their return. The general’s stare seemed to burn right into her. Namjoo shared the stare wondering… Trying to push aside these feelings abruptly overwhelming her.

There was another woman.

Lady Chunghee.

Minseok slid down from the horse, excitedly grinning. Chanyeol’s hard expression didn’t waver. Without a word he turned and walked away. Leaving a cloud of wrong hanging over her.

***they can't deny forever