Kim Sunggyu had no clue what he was doing. Well, he knew that he was hanging out with Woohyun. They started right where they left off with the drinking and talking, lots and lots of talking, but they soon progressed out of the bar and into theater. They saw several movies together and got ‘shushed’ at several movies together. So they started to attend baseball and soccer games, where they could be as loud as they wanted to be. But they were the loudest at the one concert that they went to together. Neither of them could really talk the next day, but it didn’t stop them from still trying to carry a conversation over a meal. Sunggyu couldn’t help it. Woohyun was one of his favorite people to talk with, and for that reason, Woohyun also became one of his favorite people to eat with. They ate dinner together more often than not throughout the week.

But those dinners and outings weren’t dates. No, they weren’t dating. Woohyun was just a friend, just a very, very good friend. And just because they might say ‘goodbye’ with a hug and they might be touchy with each other did not mean anything. Sunggyu often shared skinship with his closest friends. Go ask them! They would tell you that Sunggyu had put his arm around their shoulders many, many times and pretended to ‘hit’ them even more times than that. When Sunggyu was close to people, he also liked to be physically close. Any very very good friend he had would tell you that.

Of course, he only slept with one very, very good friend. But Woohyun was also the only one of his friends to transform into a woman. So there was that.

Would he sleep with any of his other friends if they transformed into a woman too?

No, no Sunggyu didn’t want to think about that. He liked not having a clue about where this was going. He didn’t want to think too much about what hanging out like this with Woohyun meant, given their history. Sunggyu just wanted to enjoy the present moment, enjoying hanging out.

However, as much as he didn’t try to think about it, there was a small but heavy dread tucked away into the corner of Sunggyu’s mind, occasionally weighing him down: was all of this hanging out, leaving Woohyun hanging? Or was he just enjoying the moment too?

Eventually the past catches up with the present, and it did for Sunggyu one Saturday night when Heeyeon invited him and Woohyun over for dinner. Kiheung was gone on assignment for a few days, and Heeyeon had enough of the single parent life. Originally, she’d asked Woohyun to come over, but Woohyun had been with Sunggyu when she called. Not wanting to look like she was intentionally excluding him, Heeyeon extended the invitation to Sunggyu too. “Don’t worry about it. The more the merrier, right? I don’t get out much nowadays. The only faces I see are Yunhee’s, Kiheung’s, and my own! I’m downright sick of them. So please come, Sunggyu-ssi, I can’t even remember the last time you visited.”

Sunggyu could, and it wasn’t a particularly fond memory of his. But since then he’d patched things over with Woohyun, the real Woohyun. To Sunggyu, Heeyeon was now nothing more than his friend’s friend. Yuhee, on the other hand, still meant more to him than he’d like, especially since Yunhee cared about him even less than before. Given all of that, going this time he’d probably make better memories than last, but that wasn’t saying much. Then he left heart-broken. Would he be able to leave in one piece this time?

No, not one piece. He’d fall to pieces again but for very different reasons. And it started while Heeyeon was cooking dinner in the kitchen. The two men were playing with the baby in the living room. And they were really playing with her. Woohyun was bouncing her in his lap, and Sunggyu was playing with her tiny, little feet, knocking them together. He was amazed at how much bigger they were than last time and also at how tolerant Yunhee was when she had a pacifier in . She didn’t care how much Sunggyu was moving her like a puppet. She just stayed there and took it.

But that wasn’t what made Sunggyu fall apart. It was a tiny, silver glimmer, shining from Woohyun’s wrist. The bracelet. It was the bracelet that Sunggyu gave him after this little girl was born. At the sight of it, Sunggyu truly felt like a crack had started from the crown of his head and ripped through his entire body, including his mind and heart. All of him was split into two. He really didn’t know what to make of this.

And Woohyun didn’t know that Sunggyu had meant to propose with the bracelet that day at the hospital. It was the closest thing to couple rings that Sunggyu could find in the dumb, little gift shop. So there was a matching bracelet stashed away in some drawer of his, which Sunggyu hadn’t looked at since that day because, well, just looking at the one on Woohyun’s wrist sent him reeling back in time, thinking of how he watched Woohyun’s body collapse onto the floor and how there was blood on the floor when the body was taken away. It was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Sunggyu had no idea back then what was happening or what would happen. Would the body wake up? And if it did, who would it be? What should he do? Sunggyu didn’t know, but he did what he could. He sat by the body, waited, and prayed. And honestly, he wasn’t praying for anything specific, just for everything to turn out okay.

Then the body woke-up. It was Woohyun, and he was angry, really angry. Sunggyu still didn’t know what to do or how to calm him down. How could he? He was a mess himself! And it only got worse. Sunggyu had hoped that the both of them could come to terms with everything together. When completely loss in a situation like this, Sunggyu liked to talk his way through it with someone else, but Woohyun wouldn’t say much to him and then just left completely, for two months. For months, Sunggyu was lost, wanting to talk to someone but had no one.

And now he had Woohyun again, who was wearing the bracelet, oblivious to what it really meant.

“What is it?” Woohyun asked when he noticed Sunggyu had stilled. “Do you smell something? Did she poop?” He sniffed around in the air and picked up Yunhee to smell her better.

“No,” Sunggyu muttered as he snapped out of his reverie, but his eyes still didn’t leave the bracelet. “I’ve never seen you wear that thing,” he brought up, pointing at it. “Honestly, I thought you’d thrown it away,”

Woohyun shook his head as he brought Yunhee back down onto his lap, holding her in close. “I wouldn’t do that. It was a gift,” he mumbled and quickly added, “And I’ve worn it the last time we hung out. You just haven’t noticed.”

“What?” Sunggyu sat up straight. Woohyun had worn it just the other day? How did Sunggyu not notice? Was he just so caught up in whatever they were doing? Probably. Things often escaped Sunggyu when they hung out: the bracelet (apparently), a sense of propriety, time…

Woohyun grinned proudly and looked down at it. “Yeah, It reminds me that I’m the only man in Korea to ever give birth,” he bragged. “It’s my badge of honor!”

Another crack split through Sunggyu, dividing himself even more. Of course that’s what the bracelet meant to Woohyun. That’s how Sunggyu presented it to him as. But Sunggyu lied. He lied, right? Was it wrong to tell him that? Maybe but at the time Woohyun was so angry and Sunggyu was so…his skin was red hot, and the heat was threatening to break him down even further.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Sunggyu got caught. So he quickly changed the topic: “Do you think that she still remembers you?” The men both looked at the baby. Sunggyu tickled at her sides as he got closer to her. He then dare to whisper the name, “Bobae?” After he did, the two men eagerly waited for her response. She laughed, but only because Sunggyu was tickling her. There was not one ounce of recognition in her face. The name meant nothing to her.

And it still meant nothing when Woohyun said it, “Bobae?” But the men still waited for her to do something. Yet Yunhee still did nothing. Woohyun let out a sigh. He had given up, “No, not anymore.”  However, he didn’t seem to be broken up about it, or at least he was still smiling. Why? Wasn’t he disappointed like Sunggyu was? Why did he sound so fond when he said: “I’m probably just a random ahjussi to her now.”

“Well, that didn’t last for very long, did it?” Sunggyu voiced his own frustrations, even if Woohyun wouldn’t. He then focused on Yunhee again, messing with her limbs. “But I guess she is learning a lot right now. Like how to lift her head…and how to use her hands,” he reasoned. And the child had gotten quite good with her hands. She realized that they belonged to her and that she could move them, and grab with them. Like she could grab onto Sunggyu’s nose. “Yunhee, stop that. It hurts uncle. A-ah!” He pulled his face away right after Yunhee kept pawing at his nose. Her small fingernails were surprisingly sharp and painful.

“Oh, she left a scratch, right here.” Woohyun muttered lowly. He then reached over and touched the spot on Sunggyu’s nose, lightly, as soft as a breath. And Sunggyu went cross-eyed, looking at the bracelet around the wrist of the hand touching him. Now that hand was wiping his nose. Sunggyu had to pull away from it, like he pulled away earlier. It was too much, so much that it made him sneeze, several times.

While Sunggyu was having his sneezing fit, Heeyeon had come out of the kitchen. She’d heard everything and came rushing out with an apology, “Sorry, I hadn’t found the time to trim her fingernails. And…Oh my goodness, she got you good, didn’t she? Do you want something for that?”

 Sunggyu touched his nose, feeling the raised line. He then looked over at Yunhee who was being scooped up into her mother’s arms, and Heeyeon was examining her little fingers with an ashamed expression. Such a fuss over a small scratch. “It’s fine,” Sunggyu insisted.

“Well, in that case, dinner’s ready,” Heeyeon brought up with an embarrassed laugh. “I haven’t made this in ages, so I hope it’s okay. Woohyun, can you…”

While she was asking something from Woohyun, Sunggyu just watched to other get up from the couch, seeing the bracelet shine as he moved. What was it about that little thing that affected him so much?

It was because Sunggyu could no longer just enjoy the present. Woohyun had already gotten to the point where he could embrace the past. Why couldn’t Sunggyu do the same? Well he could, but why wouldn’t he?

Sunggyu followed them into the kitchen and watched the other two as they prepared the table and settled Yunhee into her highchair. Well, he didn’t exactly watch the both of them. His eyes were one fixed on one: the man who was preparing a bottle for the girl that he’d given birth to.

This was it. This was the future that the both of them were dreaming about all of those months ago. Sure it was a bit different, but this was essentially it.

It was that realization that really made him fall into a thousand pieces, and for the rest of the night, Sunggyu was withdrawn, giving short responses to questions and short remarks to other people’s comments. It must’ve been noticeable because after awhile, Woohyun was acting weird too. Sunggyu was being distant, and so Woohyun began putting a physical distance between them, even after they left Heeyeon’s and decided to go to a noraebang. Noraebang, the place where they always went when they wanted to be together but they didn’t want to talk.

It was ridiculous. Sunggyu thought how they were acting was ridiculous and he thought it even more so the more that he drank. His mind might’ve been fractured into a million little pieces earlier but now they all collided into one thought: Let’s just do this. We want it, so we should do it.

“Why? Why do you still have this? Do you want it?” Sunggyu slurred as he hooked his finger under the chain on Woohyun’s wrist.

Woohyun was still a bit out of breath from trying to do a rap song at lighting speed earlier. He could barely say “Stop it” as he shook the other from off his wrist.

But he couldn’t shake off Sunggyu entirely. Sunggyu moved his hand from the wrist to the hand, intertwining their fingers. “We can touch, you know? There’s nothing wrong with that,” he muttered and he held the other’s hand tightly. He then patted their hands with his other. “See. Nothing wrong.”

“Hm? Really?” Woohyun seemed to want to take up the challenge. This time he didn’t shake off the other, but instead he raised his free hand to Sunggyu’s face, tracing the thin scratch on his nose and then brushing his long bangs to the side. That, Sunggyu’s mind was flooded with the many, many times Woohyun used to play with his hair when they lived together. It was so familiar. It was so comforting. “There’s nothing wrong with this?” Woohyun asked when he moved his fingers from Sunggyu’s forehead down his cheeks.

Sunggyu didn’t want to move. He didn’t want it to stop. So he said: “No.”

That must’ve been the right move because Woohyun took it a step further. Even though he let go of Sunggyu’s hand, it was only to hold the older’s cheeks in his hands. His facing was drifting closer, and his lips too, they whispered, “Are you sure?”

“Woohyun, just do it.”

Woohyun did it. He brought his hands together and squished Sunggyu’s cheeks together until he couldn’t see. And that’s when Woohyun pulled his cheeks apart, only to squeeze them back together again, laughing maniacally the entire time.

“A-a-ah!” Sunggyu whimpered and yanked the other off from him. He stood up and yelled. “Ow! Jerk! Why did you do that?”

Woohyun was still smiling as he shook his head. “Not tonight, hyung. Not like this,” was the only answer he’d give. “I think we’re done for the night. Let’s head back home.”

Done? Sunggyu stood there for a moment, stunned. He really hoped that they weren’t. He didn’t want to end things here.

But Woohyun was already out of the door.

Woohyun spent the night at Sunggyu’s place. The older had passed out almost as soon at they arrived there, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. So Sunggyu had no idea that Woohyun stayed the night, and it was evident when Woohyun was woken up the next morning by a sharp yelp. Sunggyu had come out of the bedroom and found someone on his couch, apparently not recognizing the Woohyun-sized lump on it. When he finally did, Sunggyu suggested that they go out for hang-over soup. “We could both really use it,” he said before scurrying off into the bathroom.

Really? The both of them? Woohyun could recall last night pretty well because he didn’t drink nearly as much as Sunggyu did. He didn’t even have a headache today. Well, he didn’t have a headache from the alcohol, but he had one from trying to make sense of Kim Sunggyu.

During dinner last night, the older suddenly grew cold and distant. Was he really that upset because Yunhee didn’t know him? Or was there another reason? Woohyun began suspecting that it could be something else when Sunggyu wouldn’t look him in the eye when they talked. But he didn’t look at Heeyeon either (and Woohyun had been very nervous to see Sunggyu and Heeyeon together because he hadn’t seen them in the same room together since the switch back). What did that mean?

And what did it mean when Sunggyu began flirting with him a few drinks in, even before the “We can touch” comment? Woohyun had suggested that they go to the noraebang based on how weirdly Sunggyu was acting, but once they were inside, Sunggyu only got weirder. Now he was making eye contact, too much of it. He praised Woohyun a little too much when he sang. And when Sunggyu sang, his song choices were weird. Or was Woohyun just trying to read too much into everything? Was he searching for signs that Sunggyu still had feelings for him? Because Woohyun did for sure.

Reuniting with Sunggyu was something that Woohyun had dreaded doing, but once they had, he was ecstatic that they did. He knew that he enjoyed talking to Sunggyu and hanging out with him, but he’d forgotten just how much and how good it felt. And while it was still good, it was also different. How was it that Sunggyu touched him more now than he did back then? Of course they weren’t hugs or soft touches. More often than not, Sunggyu was play-hitting him. But it was a significant change, and Woohyun didn’t know what to make of it, especially after last night. “We can touch”? Okay, Woohyun would do just that, when they were both sober and in public.

They were in the restaurant and soup was dribbling down Sunggyu’s chin, who was too tired to care. So Woohyun cared for him, grabbing a napkin and dabbing off the other’s chin. Sunggyu automatically recoiled at it.

Woohyun froze for a moment, with his arm still in the air. That reaction was far bigger than he expected it to be. Soon he lowered his arm and sighed. “What’s wrong? I thought we could touch,” Woohyun grumbled.

Sunggyu was now wiping off his own face viciously. “We can, but…”

“I know,” Woohyun interjected. ‘We can, but not in front of people.’ ‘We can, but not like this.’ Woohyun knew it would end up like this. This is why he wouldn’t kiss Sunggyu last night.

But Woohyun was wrong. He didn’t think Sunggyu was going to end the statement the way that he did: “…don’t treat me like a child.” Since he didn’t expect that, Woohyun didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. He sat there quietly, waiting for Sunggyu to say something else. And when given room to talk, Sunggyu often did, “I’ve been thinking.”

Woohyun prodded him because Sunggyu paused for a little too long, “About what?”

Sunggyu was quiet again, for an uncomfortably long time. He chewed on his lips as he looked down at Woohyun’s hand on the table. But then he finally spoke, “I want to see what it’s like.” And he laid his hand on top of Woohyun’s.

“What it’s like to be with a man?” Woohyun guessed.

“SH!” Sunggyu hissed loudly. His eyes darted everywhere, hoping that no one had heard that. Just like before, the reaction worried Woohyun, until he noticed that Sunggyu’s hand was still on his, holding onto it more tightly. Sunggyu leaned over the table and lowered his voice. “With you. I want to see what it’s like with you.” The words then began spilling out of his mouth, “We get along still. We have fun. I…just need to see what it’s like or I won’t be able to move on.”

“Ah, I see,” Woohyun mumbled. He didn’t like the way that sounded. Something about it didn’t sit well with him. “Move on,” that was it. That was the part he didn’t like.

And Sunggyu could tell. “Woohyun,” he whined. His eyes were once again, darting all over the place, but everyone else at the restaurant were too busy nursing their hang-overs like they were. No one cared, so Sunggyu decided to get into it, hissing loudly until he was out of breath: “Don’t act like this isn’t what dating is! Dating is trying out whether you want to be with a person or not. That’s exactly what this is! I’m not here to explore my uality with you…well, I mean, inherently I am, but I just want to date.” He then pulled back, slinking down into his seat. He also retracted his hand from the other and crossed his arms over his chest. Sunggyu was irritated at Woohyun. “It could work out, and it also couldn’t. We don’t know until we try. But if you don’t want to…” he wouldn’t finish that or look at Woohyun right now.

And Woohyun really wished he would because Woohyun was beaming right now. “Dating?” he repeated. A part of him thought this day would never come, when Sunggyu would finally break down this wall and let him in. And now Sunggyu was getting frustrated with him because the older thought Woohyun wasn’t into it. It was hilarious! Woohyun chuckling to himself because, if they both of them were honest: “Aren’t we already dating, hyung?”

“Eh?” Sunggyu gasped and then stammered. “Uh, well, yeah, sort of, I guess. If you wanted us to be.” Oh, he was nervous. Woohyun was making him nervous, like he had all of those months ago. Woohyun could have a lot of fun with this (like he did back then too).

“If I want us to be?” Woohyun was playing coy. “Then can this be a date?”

“No, this is breakfast,” Sunggyu was still frustrated and hung-over. And Woohyun still wasn’t giving him a straight answer.

Nope, instead he just asked: “What makes a date a date then?”

“Just eat,” Sunggyu tried to shut him up as he shoveled food into his own mouth.

But Woohyun had just one more thing to say before he resumed eating: “Can I take you out on a real date after this?”

Sunggyu nearly lost his spoon in his soup. “Huh? What do you mean real date?”

A real date, what Woohyun meant by that was that they were going to do something so stereotypical of a couple that neither of them could mistake it as just ‘hanging out.’ Luckily, there was a flower festival being held in the next town over. It was going to be filled with couples. And some of those couples were going to be astute enough to figure out that Woohyun and Sunggyu were together. They’d be publicly recognized as being ‘together’ in all sense of the word.

They needed to do this. They needed to go and walk around together in a strange place with nothing else better to do than look at pretty flowers along with hundreds of strangers. Afterwards, they could go get coffee or ice cream because that is how you end a date.

Later, they could return to their normal style of ‘dating,’ but for today, they were going to be stereotypical as hell.

And it was kinda hellish at the start. Once they got there, Woohyun didn’t know what to do, and he felt overwhelmed by the crowds of people. He couldn’t even focus on the festival. His eyes kept flitting from person to person, from couple to couple. Woohyun could recall when he and Sunggyu were like them, holding hands in public, care-free, and talking with strangers about their relationships. Would they get to be like that again? Woohyun doubted it. People were already throwing a cautious glance his way. Why? What did he do? Why were they looking down at his…oh, that was why.

“Why did you grab onto my hand?” Woohyun asked as he slipped his hand quickly from the other’s grip.

Sunggyu stopped suddenly in his tracks, causing Woohyun to stop and turn around to face him. He looked seriously offended. “Me? You were the one who grabbed my hand,” he hissed back and pointed at the other.

Woohyun shook his head. “No I wasn’t,” he insisted.

Sunggyu shot him a glare before walking right past him. “Whatever,” he muttered under his breath and wiped his hand on the other when Woohyun got close enough again. Once again, Sunggyu was frustrated with him and was feeling petty, petty enough to want to ‘return’ Woohyun’s touch back to him.

Woohyun looked down as his feet when they kept walking. Was he being too cautious? Why didn’t Sunggyu feel as bothered by the looks as he did? Sunggyu was the one who earlier checked on everyone in the restaurant before whispering to Woohyun that he wanted to date. Why was it so different now?

Because when Kim Sunggyu settled on something, he really settles and doesn’t budge. Woohyun knew that. But he didn’t think it would apply to this situation. Relationships weren’t as simple as building a crib.

Since his head was down, Woohyun almost ran into someone. He quickly side-stepped, ran into Sunggyu, and grabbed his hand on instinct. At least this time Woohyun realized that he’d done it. But Sunggyu was going to make sure that he did. He raised both of their hands and showed it to the other. “Look, you did it again!”

Woohyun automatically let go, chuckling out of embarrassment. “Bad hand,” he joked as he slapped his own hand.

Sunggyu snickered. A smile almost broke out on his face, but he held it back. He wanted to act cool. “If you want to hold my hand so badly, just do it,” he offered and put his hand out for the other to take.

But Woohyun’s smile faltered and his eyes flitted around again. “People will stare,” he replied. And at that, Sunggyu sighed and walked away. But Woohyun wouldn’t let him get too frustrated this time. He quickly came up to the other’s side and hooked pinkies with him. It wasn’t quite holding hands, but it was a little step in that direction. But it soon went from subtle to completely obvious when Woohyun began swinging their hands. Or was that Sunggyu doing it? The both of them? In any case it was nice. The flowers were nice. The fresh air and sun did them much good. And it really felt like a date. It still felt like a date when they went to a nearby café and sat in a cozy corner, talking about what stereotypical date thing they should try next. But then Sunggyu got a phone call and had to run off before they could do anything else.

Their first real date ending with just barely hand holding. For their second real date, they moved onto real hand holding. It was easy since they were in a movie theater for most of it. But occasionally, whenever they stood close enough outside of the theater, their hands would just naturally reach for the other’s. Sadly, this date was also cut short. This time it was Woohyun’s fault. His mother’s shop got flooded with a few company dinners, and she needed his help. And so he left, giving the other a hug before he did so.

They only hugged and held hands, which probably why on their third real date, Sunggyu said this: “Woohyun, are you ever going to do it?”

“Do what?”

“You know,” Sunggyu grumbled.

And indeed, Woohyun did know what he was talking about. And he couldn’t help but to find it amusing. They weren’t even doing anything close to romantic right now. They weren’t even on the same side of the room. Sunggyu was sitting on his couch, and Woohyun was coming out of the kitchen after ordering their dinner and getting the both of them something to drink. Unless Sunggyu felt so grateful that Woohyun gave him a beer that he wanted to kiss him. But that was the thing! Sunggyu obviously wanted to, but he wouldn’t do it.

And that’s what was so amusing. It was amusing how willing Sunggyu was to follow Woohyun’s lead. Sunggyu, who liked to be in control so much and who had a managerial role at the company, was going to let Woohyun guide their relationship. He had waited for Woohyun to contact him first. He had waited for Woohyun to grab his hand. Even that drunken night at the noraebang, Sunggyu sat there and waited for Woohyun to take the lead.

“Hyung, if you want a kiss, come and take it,” Woohyun tried to push the other. He even plopped himself next to Sunggyu on the couch, very closely. Sunggyu only had to move a few inches to do it. Now even less because Woohyun turned to face him.

“Why me?”

“You’re the one who wants it!” Woohyun argued and nudged the other.

And Sunggyu fell stiffly back at that touch. Wide-eyed and stunned, he asked lowly, “You don’t?”

No, Woohyun did want to. He really did, but he was just as nervous as Sunggyu was, maybe even more so because Sunggyu was relying on him so much to carry this relationship. In addition to that, Woohyun still doubted how invested Sunggyu was in them, how much he really cared for him. And Woohyun was afraid that Sunggyu not initiating a kiss meant more than it did.

“Come on, hyung,” Woohyun tried urging him again and tugged on the other’s shirt. “It’s not like you haven’t kissed me before.” In an attempt to tempt the other, he puckered his lips for a second.

And it might’ve worked. Sunggyu came in closer, only an inch, not nearly close enough. His gaze drifted from the younger’s eyes to his lips. “You kissed me first last time. Right here,” he argued and tapped on his cheek. “You did it first!” that whine came out so pathetically.

So pathetically that Woohyun gave in. He covered the last two inches and pressed his lips against Sunggyu’s cheek. “There.” And there was also that shiver again, traveling through Sunggyu. Woohyun felt him almost vibrating at his side. That was interesting. Did he really have that same effect on the other still? Woohyun couldn’t help, but to be stunned every time it happened. He wanted to see if he could do it again, and he kissed the other cheek. But nothing happened.

Nothing happened except Sunggyu grabbing the other’s face and lining up their lips together into one seamless kiss, which led to another and yet another. And Woohyun felt himself shiver as Sunggyu moved his hands from his face to his shoulder and neck, pulling him in closer. There was really no need to do that because they were already as close as they could get, and Woohyun’s own hands were wrapped around the other’s waist. But the pull did bring them both down, reclining on the couch. And as they slinked down further and further, their kisses also traveled, revisiting familiar places and discovering new ones. And each other was better than the last.

Then the doorbell rang, again.

Woohyun pulled away. “That must be the food,” he stated, looking towards the door.

Sunggyu groaned as he let his head fall back onto the couch. “Again?” he whined.

Woohyun snorted and got up, with difficulty since they were tangled up in each other and Sunggyu refused to be of any use. “I’ll get it,” he declared after standing up, and he went for the door.

After paying for and accepting the food, Woohyun just barely put down the bags on the coffee table when Sunggyu pulled him in for another kiss, a short one. It was more of a peck, really. And when it was over, Sunggyu seemed confused, really confused. His brows furrowed so deeply that it’d surely leave wrinkles if he kept it up. And that furrow only deepened after Sunggyu kissed him again, a bit longer this time but still lasting now more than a second.

“What?” Woohyun was almost afraid to ask that question, yet he needed to know the answer.

“You…you kiss the same,” Sunggyu struggled to put his jumbled thoughts into words. He stepped back from the other, as if that would make his thoughts any clearer. “I mean, it feels different but also the same.”

“Of course, I do. I’m still me,” Woohyun replied with an anxious chuckle.

That drew a short laugh from the other. “Yea, you kinda are.”

That ‘kinda’ kinda killed Woohyun.

But he felt alive in the very next second when Sunggyu kissed him again longer, harder, and finally without hesitation. Knocking the air out of Woohyun. And that’s how things were between them for a long while. Woohyun would think that their relationship was doomed in one second, but then in another he thought that it’d last, that nothing would be better.

And things did go better, in some ways, than last time.  It didn’t take long for them to regain the ual intimacy that they once had, and for Woohyun, it was far better being with Sunggyu in his own body. He had more control. He was confident. And he wasn’t later racked with guilt and doubt like he was before.

Woohyun didn’t know if he could say the same for Sunggyu. That man would quickly grow hesitant whenever the moment would grow hot enough to the point that they were about to burn down another wall in their relationship. It wouldn’t matter if Woohyun tried to assure him by saying “It’s nothing that I’ve never seen before, hyung,” because they were still things that Sunggyu hadn’t seen or done.

However, one line never seemed to fail: “It’s okay. I googled it.” Those words would always make Sunggyu ease up and smile. Woohyun didn’t know if it made him feel better because it was an inside joke or because it implied inexperience. Woohyun would feel bad if it was the latter. He wasn’t inexperienced, but Sunggyu had to know that, right? Or was that man just believing in whatever he wanted to again?

“What is Sunggyu thinking?” was a reoccurring question in Woohyun’s mind, and it was an aggravating one. Normally, Sunggyu was an open book. Woohyun would only have to glance at his honest face to be able to read him. But at times, Sunggyu’s face would be clouded by layers of inner turmoil. He’s was coming to terms with his uality and redefining who he was. Woohyun could read that much. But what terms were they? Only time would tell and hopefully Sunggyu would then tell him the words that Woohyun had been yearning to hear again.

But for now, Woohyun had to wait and be patient. And for now, he could treasure that Sunggyu genuinely liked him for him. Woohyun was sure of that, completely certain. Just like anyone else who had experienced it, Woohyun knew the difference between a casual relationship (and ) and one with great promise, one that was nearing love (or that was already there).

It felt very nearly there, and even more so the more Woohyun infiltrated Sunggyu’s apartment. Well, technically, Woohyun had already lived there before, so he kept using the same set of towels and such as he did before. But this time, Woohyun brought his own clothes and wore them. He got a great pleasure in being able to wear a fresh set of his own clothes after spending the night at Sunggyu’s place. In spite of living there previously for three months, he never did that before. Yes, things were much different than before and hopefully better.

Another difference was that Sunggyu spent a few nights in Woohyun’s room. As close as they were, and for much they hung out, it wasn’t until they were actually dating, when Sunggyu came into Woohyun’s bedroom. And well, the major reason for that was because Woohyun was still living with his mother. It wasn’t really a place to take your date back to, unless his mother was out of town. Then Sunggyu would come over.

However, one night Sunggyu stayed over when his mother was still there. It couldn’t be helped though. They hadn’t seen each other all week because both of their schedules were packed. Sunggyu managed to get out of work with just enough time for them to have a few drinks at the bar a few blocks away. Being slightly drunk and wanting to prolong his time with the other, Woohyun told Sunggyu to just stay the night. After all, Sunggyu had to wake up early to get to work anyway. Most likely he’d be out before Woohyun’s mother could wake up.

But ‘most likely’ still left enough room for the ‘unlikely’ to happen. It didn’t matter how quite they thought they entered the house. It didn’t matter that they didn’t do anything else but wash up and sleep. Somehow, Woohyun’s mother knew there was a guest in her house. And she was up, early in the morning and making breakfast for the three of them. It must’ve been her motherly instincts or Sunggyu’s coat and shoes by the door that tipped her off. But Woohyun’s mother had also known that her son was dating someone. After all, Woohyun spent several night out ‘at a friend’s place.’ She even outright asked if Woohyun was dating anyone. Woohyun did admit that he was, but he wouldn’t say who. So maybe she was on the look-out, waiting for her son to slip-up like this so that she could finally discover his relationship.

And Woohyun was asleep when it happened. Sunggyu had tried to sneak out, not even disturbing Woohyun as he did, but he was trapped by Woohyun’s mother in the kitchen. And her son was soon woken up by her alarming shout: “Woohyun-ah! Come down to have breakfast with me and Sunggyu!”

At that Woohyun rushed out of bed and down the stairs with only his boxers on, only to see Sunggyu, dressed in a shirt and tie, sitting down at his kitchen table across from his mother, who was also fully dressed and immensely proud of herself. It was awkward to be the most undressed at his own kitchen table and to have this be the first real meeting between Sunggyu and his mother. But maybe she didn’t know that it was, Woohyun hoped. Maybe she thought Sunggyu was just a friend. The both of them tried to play it off like Sunggyu was, like he was just a friend crashing for the night. And Woohyun thought they did a good job in acting casual. He even didn’t walk Sunggyu to the door or give him a proper goodbye. They just waved at each other, and Sunggyu left.

And when he was gone, his mother remarked, “I remember him. You guys used to hang out a lot before.”

Woohyun nodded and kept eating as he answered, “Yeah, I used to work with him.”

“And now?” Woohyun perked up when she said that. And when he raised his eyes to her face, he could tell. She knew everything. Well, not everything but the truth about his and Sunggyu’s relationship. “Just be careful. I don’t want you to end up heartbroken again.”

Heartbroken? Is that what she thought Woohyun was going through a few months back? “Wait, it’s not like that,” he began. Sunggyu hadn’t broken his heart (yet).

“It isn’t?” she jumped in, afraid that she assumed too much.

“I mean, it is, but…” Woohyun paused and took in a deep breath, taking in all of the courage that he could. “Mom, there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you.” It was time that she truly knew everything. Woohyun explained it all from the very beginning and showed her the videos on his phone to support his story. It was easier to convince her of the truth than he thought it would be, but he failed to account for the fact that he was her son. She loved him and trusted him.

And the two had a long conversation, that spanned over the week, about love, relationships, and family. Their bond grew deeper, and Sunggyu received permission to enter their house whenever he pleased.

And maybe it was his mother’s stamp of approval that Woohyun had lulled himself into a false since of security. He hadn’t felt that sense of impending doom in weeks. But he really should have because if he’d been paying attention, he would’ve realized that Sunggyu was more veiled than before, that he talked less about work, and that he talked about the future with more uncertainty than before. If Woohyun had realized all of that, he would’ve seen this coming:

“Are you sure it’s okay, if I see her?”

A small part of Woohyun knew this day was inevitable. A small part of him knew that Sunggyu would eventually go back to dating women. In the beginning of their relationship, it was a large part of him, but over time, it grew smaller. With more time, it eventually would’ve disappeared, but there was no time left now. It was over. Sunggyu wanted to date the receptionist at the company (Heo Soobin). The woman had harbored a crush on the man which only blossomed when he became a ‘widower’ and became a pitiful man that needed to be looked after, needed to feel a woman’s touch again. Woohyun wondered what would happen if she knew the truth about the so-called widower and whose touch caressed his body at night. However, it wasn’t Woohyun’s truth to tell. And it was probably a truth that would never be told.

Woohyun should’ve noticed that something was up when Sunggyu suggested that they go have dinner at a ritzy hotel. They never ate at such nice places, and now they were breaking up in one.

But Woohyun tried his best to remain calm and to not cry. “If she’s what you really want, then we can break…”

“No! That’s not what I meant!” Sunggyu’s voice echoed throughout the quiet dining room. Several heads turned towards them. Sunggyu sent them an apologetic smile before whispering to the other, “I don’t want to break-up with you.”

Woohyun took a sip of his wine, swishing it about in his mouth, as he stared at the other incredulously. What the hell did Sunggyu want? He’d just asked Woohyun if he could date Soobin (which was a weird way to break-up but okay), and Woohyun just mumbled “alright” out of shock. But it wasn’t over? Sunggyu still wanted to date him?

Oh! Woohyun hit himself in the head for how long it took him to arrive at this: “You want to see the both of us at the same time.”

Woohyun knew Sunggyu was old-fashioned. He looked old-fashioned, drank old fashions, and acted like a grandfather. It was the reason why Woohyun knew Sunggyu would have a difficult time accepting his uality. Sunggyu wanted a traditional family with traditional values, and Woohyun could no longer provide that after the switch. But he had no idea that Sunggyu was going to be this old-fashioned. Sunggyu was really going to try to be like one of those old gay grandfathers, generations back, who had a wife and a lover. He was going to relegate Woohyun to the ‘best friend’ which people would joke about, saying how Sunggyu would’ve married him if only he’d been a woman. They didn’t know how true that was.

Luckily for Woohyun, they lived in the 21^stcentury, and he didn’t have to accept a relationship like that anymore.

“Only if it’s okay with you,” Sunggyu told him. “I like…being with you. I really do. But…”

“I get it,” Woohyun interrupted that stuttering mess and quickly added, “I’ll see other people too.”

Sunggyu had just taken a drink when Woohyun said that, and now he was choking on it. After coughing for a while, Sunggyu took a drink of water and responded. “That’s only fair.” However, Woohyun knew that Sunggyu couldn’t leave it at just that. The man tried to act cool and resume eating, but he soon put down his utensils again to ask, “Will you tell me? When you’re seeing them? Tell me who they are?”

Woohyun smirked. “If you really want to know, I will,” he spoke with much more calm than he was feeling right now. His heart was still beating hard in his chest, but he kept a serene smile on his face and challenged the other, “Do you?”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu responded with a groan. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

“No, it’s a good idea,” Woohyun wasn’t going to back down. “We both have options, hyung. We should explore them.”

Sunggyu slunk down into his chair and played with the stem of his wine glass nervously as he raised an eyebrow at the other. “Why does it sound like you’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m not,” Woohyun replied with a shake of his head. “We’re just opening the relationship.”

“Let’s not do it. You don’t like the idea,” Sunggyu tried to do away with the whole matter. “Forget that I said anything.”

“No,” Woohyun refused. He refused to just forget that Sunggyu suggested this. This was something that Sunggyu needed to do. He needed to figure out what he really wanted in life. But Woohyun wasn’t just going to sit there and wait to see how it’d unfold. He too needed to figure out if Sunggyu was the person he wanted to be with too. “No, the more I think about it. The more I like it,” Woohyun declared. He added this when Sunggyu’s eyebrow refused to go down: “Seriously.”

Then it fell, and Sunggyu went back to eating after he said, “If you say so.”

“I do,” Woohyun insisted. “We can do this, but just be honest with me, about everything,” he laid down some rules. “If we’re going to be open, we have to communicate openly too.”

“I will,” Sunggyu readily agreed, but then he pointed at the other with his utensil. “You have to do it too. No hiding things from me,” he warned Woohyun, who frowned at that.

“I don’t hide things from you,” Woohyun argued.

“Sure, you don’t,” Sunggyu teased. He then leaned over the table. “How was that visit to the doctor the other day? I heard about it from Heeyeon,” he revealed.

Woohyun scoffed. He suspected for a while that Sunggyu mainly talked to Heeyeon to get gossip about the channel and information on him. “It was the dentist, and it was for teeth whitening,” Woohyun defended himself.

“Still hid it from me,” Sunggyu pointed out, but judging by his tone and expression, Sunggyu knew that a teeth whitening appointment wasn’t something worth either hiding or telling.

Woohyun rolled his eyes but smiled. “I’ll be sure to keep you posted about my dental health from now on,” he jokingly promised. He then began eating again, and after a few bites he asked, “So you really couldn’t tell I got it done?”

“Show me,” the older commanded. And after swallowing his bite, Woohyun bared his teeth at the other, in the middle of one of the fanciest places in Seoul. But this kind of behavior was normal for them, no matter where they went. Sunggyu just studied his teeth and nodded in appreciation. “Looks good.”

“Thank you,” Woohyun always did enjoy receiving praise.

“Should I get it done too?” Sunggyu asked and bared his own teeth at the other.

“Yeah, they don’t look as good as mine.”

“Be quiet. I just haven’t had time to do to my dentist in a while, okay?”

Dying and being brought to life yet again. How was it that Woohyun was able to act normally after that? How was he actually able to enjoy the date? Was he thatcomplacent? No, he knew that it had to be done. He went home. He didn’t cry, although he felt one lodged inside of his chest, weighing him down.

Days later, when Sunggyu told him when he scheduled the first date with the secretary, Woohyun already had a date of his own. He hadn’t intentionally meant to do it before Sunggyu, but it just naturally happened. There was a man pitching his unique flower arrangements on one of their shows and he also pitched a date to Woohyun. They’d already known each other for a few weeks at this point when they were planning his appearance. He was handsome and nice enough, so Woohyun accepted.

And when Woohyun asked if Sunggyu wanted to know who it was, he replied “no.” “No” was always his answer to that question, although it would come more quickly sometimes than others. It was strange. For someone who wanted to know every detail of Woohyun’s life, it was incredibly odd that Sunggyu didn’t want to know who Woohyun was seeing. All he wanted to know was where and when, just in case something went awry on one of his dates.

And yes, Woohyun dated several people. A girl even slipped into the mix, but that was in a moment of weakness on his behalf. He knew he wasn’t interested in girls, but he wondered for half-a-moment if Sunggyu was onto something, if those old gay grandpas did it right. Nope. It was a lie. Being with her was a lie. And every guy that Woohyun met with felt like a placeholder until he met with Sunggyu, which he did. They still met very often, more than they saw other people. And when they were together it was almost unbearably good, but they could only focus on the now and never the future. And all Woohyun wanted to know was the future of them. It all still seemed very doubtful.

Oddly enough, Woohyun was never in doubt of how much Sunggyu liked him, even though he’d been consistently dating Soobin for around two months now. It wasn’t like Woohyun would let Sunggyu forget about him. No, he kept burrowing deeper and deeper into his heart. He’d act more sweetly than usual, doting, hot. Woohyun knew exactly how to work him. And in return, Sunggyu was always there when Woohyun needed him. He was always just a phone call away, except when he was with Soobin. But then Woohyun could just text him, and he’d probably respond. Woohyun could, but he never did. He always tried to be respectful of Soobin. She appeared to be a nice woman, and Sunggyu appeared to be fond of her. Occasionally Woohyun caught himself wishing that appearances were deceiving, and Sunggyu would let go of this plot.

But it had been two months, and nothing seemed like it was going to change. Not Woohyun’s feelings for Sunggyu. Not Sunggyu’s feelings for him. And not Soobin.

In this situation, Woohyun was one of two things: hopeful or hopeless. Only time would tell which one he was.

It was one of those days when Woohyun was feeling a bit more hopeful than usual. Sunggyu was going to meet him for lunch, even though the company’s cafeteria always provided them with the meal. Sunggyu said that he was in the mood to have dakbokkeumtang, but Woohyun wondered if the older was more in the mood to see him.

They’d planned on meeting outside of Sunggyu’s building, and Woohyun was walking up to it when he came across a familiar face, sitting at a bus stop. Woohyun could easily recognize it even though it had been nearly a year since he’d seen it. But her body, on the other hand, underwent many changes.

“Oh, Bora-ssi, you’re expecting? Congrats!” Woohyun congratulated her after coming up to her.

And in his excitement, he’d forgotten that the doctor would have no frigging clue who he was. She scanned him up and down with great suspicion but still forced a smile onto her face. “Thank you…I’m sorry I can’t quite remember you. I’m more familiar with the wives. Who are you again?” she asked.

“Nam Woohyun,” he answered with a nervous smile. Would that name even mean anything to her?

It didn’t seem to. “Nam Woohyun?”

But didn’t Sunggyu tell her? He said that he did. So Woohyun tried to prod her memory. “Yes, we’ve met before, but I looked very different then,” he hinted. “We have a friend in common: Kim Sunggyu.”

“Ah! You’re that Nam Woohyun,” so his name did mean something to her. Bora’s face lit up, and she turned (as best she could) in her seat towards him. “So how is Sunggyu doing with that woman?”

Woohyun flinched. “He’s told you about Heo Soobin-ssi?”

Bora frowned. Something about that didn’t seem right to her. “Is she the one from the home-shopping channel?” she asked.

“No.”

“Good. He’s moved on from her,” Bora was relieved to hear that. She then shook her head and clicked her tongue. “I can’t believe they made me believe she was defector. Did he tell you that? Wait, don’t tell me that it was it your idea!”

“What?” Woohyun was struggling to put the last few seconds together. What exactly did Sunggyu tell her? It seemed like she knew something but nothing at all at the same time. “I thought hyung told you the truth.”

Bora shook her head again. “He wouldn’t admit to it,” she explained. “He just lied and said that…” Bora had to stop because she broke out into a roaring laugh. Tears were spilling from her eyes as she tried to talk through her laughter: “It’s so funny. He said that you switched bodies with her. Isn’t that ridiculous? He’d really rather make up than confess that he had an affair!” After a few more chuckles, Bora let out a great exhale and calmed down. Her smile was now weighed down into a straight line. “And he almost had me then too,” she admitted quietly, soon followed by a loud groan. “Ugh, I’m so upset that I believed him for a second! So I even asked him about your relationship and he…” Woohyun’s ears perked up. And his mind was racing, thinking about all of the things that Sunggyu would’ve said back then. But, in reality, Sunggyu hadn’t said anything” “He hung up on me. I haven’t talked to him since then.”

Woohyun let out a deep breath. That was a lot to take in at once, to hear Bora shout to the world about the body switch and to know that Sunggyu would rather hang up a phone on an old friend than answer a question about their relationship. Well, Woohyun guessed that they didn’t have a relationship back then, so that would make it okay, right? Woohyun didn’t know what to say in response to all of that. He just slid into the spot next to her and muttered, “That was nearly a year ago.”

“Well, I’ve been busy,” Bora excused herself. And since Woohyun was sitting next to her, she decided to take advantage of it and whispered, “Tell me. Was the baby even his?”

“It wasn’t,” it was the truth, and Woohyun answered it without much thought.

“I knew it!” Bora exclaimed. “He must’ve found out before she delivered it, and…”

“Do you really not believe it?” Woohyun interrupted her.

“Believe what?” Bora was truly and blissfully stubborn.

And it was starting to irritate Woohyun because: “You’d rather believe that Sunggyu knocked up a woman during a business trip or slept with a married woman than believe that we’ve met before when I was Ran Woong?”

Her smile completely fell. And her eyes grew wide. “You can’t be Ran Woong,” she whispered.

“Why not?” Woohyun dared her to say it.

And she did: “Magic isn’t real, and Sunggyu wouldn’t…” Well, she almost did. She stopped herself from completing the second thought.

“He wouldn’t what?” Woohyun challenged. “Be wrapped around my finger?”

She narrowed her eyes on him. “How did you…”

“Woohyun-ah! There you are!” Bora was interrupted by such a pathetic whine coming from the one and only Kim Sunggyu. Woohyun craned his neck back to see him and Sunggyu even looked pathetic (and a bit relieved to see Woohyun). Sunggyu had picked up his pace to get to the other, but he suddenly stopped, scared stiff. Bora must’ve popped her head out from behind Woohyun. “Bora!” Sunggyu exclaimed. A second later, he recovered from that shock and walked up to them with a wary smile. “Woah! You’re pregnant,” he noticed and let out a small chuckle. But the other two just stared up at him, making him even more nervous. “What are you two talking about?”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Woohyun told him. He reached his hand out for the other, and Sunggyu reflexively grabbed it, as he usually did. Woohyun squeezed it. “She already knows, remember?”

“Right,” was all Sunggyu said. He didn’t know what else to do.

And Bora was having a hard time looking away from their joined hands. Even when she stood up, she was still looking at them. “I think the three of us have some catching up to do,” she suggested. “Lunch?”

Sunggyu got his dakbokkeumtang. Bora got the truth, no matter how crazy or magical it was. And Woohyun later got the reason why Sunggyu suddenly asked him out for lunch.

After eating their meals and talking about about everything that happened and what happened afterwards, Woohyun had to excuse himself: “While this is nice, I really have to get going. We’re filming soon.”

“Oh, okay. It was nice re-meeting you, Woohyun-ssi,” Bora sent him off. She was friendly with Woohyun once again, after finally reconciling him with Ran Woong.

And Woohyun wasn’t irritated with her anymore, not in the slightest. “You too!” he chirped and got up from the table.

The other person, however, wouldn’t say goodbye to him, at least not at the table. “Hold on, I’ll be back in a bit,” Sunggyu told Bora, and then he slipped out from the table himself and followed Woohyun, who was slowly making his way to the door. Woohyun had a feeling that Sunggyu was going to corner him like this. That’s why he got up from the table with ten minutes to spare. But Sunggyu felt like he had to call out for the other, even though the younger had already slowed down his step, “Woohyunnie, wait!” There it was again, that pathetic voice. And Sunggyu even felt pathetic when he hugged the other tightly. His head nestled into the crook of the younger’s neck and his fingers gripped at his sweater on his back. Woohyun felt bad to pull out of the other’s embrace so soon, but he knew what would really lift the other’s spirits. He planted a long peck on the other’s lips, long enough for Sunggyu to reciprocate it before breaking it. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone else in this shop because they were eating lunch at such an odd hour, and so they could afford to be affectionate like this, wedged in a dark corner by the door.

“Why?” Sunggyu simply asked when the kiss ended.

“You had a bad day at work, didn’t you?” Woohyun guessed, correctly because Sunggyu replied with a short nod. “What happened?”

“They’re sending me back to China again. For a month this time,” Sunggyu spoke, barely moving his lips. He didn’t want to accept that it was his reality.

And neither did Woohyun. “Why so long?”

“They’re in between managers, and I’m the one who’s qualified enough to fill-in and knows their team best,” Sunggyu was still mumbling and looking down at the ground. He then let out a low groan as his lips pouted more. “They say it could be a month. It could also be longer.”

“,” Woohyun tried the best he could to hide his disappointment but he couldn’t any longer. Sunggyu had just gotten back from a business trip there last month, and Woohyun assumed that would be enough of traveling for a good while. But now Woohyun felt like he had to put ‘China’ on the list of people dividing up Sunggyu’s time. And China being China was a higher up the list than Woohyun was. They always got what they wanted.

“I know. I really don’t want to go,” Sunggyu grumbled. His fingers were gripping, once again, at Woohyun’s sweater. “I want to stay here.”

In spite of the situation, Woohyun felt cheered up by that. Sunggyu wanted to stay here, with him. A small grin tore across his face as he asked, “When are you leaving?”

Sunggyu’s eyes flitted up to Woohyun’s for a moment before they fell back down, and with his gaze, Woohyun’s heart dropped along with it. “The current manager’s last day is next week, so I need to be there a bit before to learn the ropes,” Sunggyu revealed. “I have to be there Wednesday. My flight’s on Tuesday.”

Woohyun let out a deep breath and took a step back, putting his hands on his hips. “But it’s Friday!” he complained. This was all too fast. Sunggyu threw a quick glance up at the other muttering ‘I know,’ and then he resumed to hanging his head like a sinner. But he did nothing wrong (this time). Woohyun was mad at the company and not the other, but it probably didn’t sound like it when Woohyun raised his voice. So Woohyun forced himself to calm down. This was their reality, and they had to deal with it. “So will we see each other again before then?” his voice was lower this time, softer.

This time when Sunggyu raised his head, there was a cheeky look on his face. “About that, I was wondering if you’d want to stay at my place this weekend,” he suggested.

Woohyun raised an eyebrow at that. A whole weekend, uninterrupted, with just the two of them? “Yeah, I can do that,” he replied, beaming. “So I’ll come by later tonight?”

Sunggyu nodded. “Text me when you get there, so I can let you in,” he told the younger, smiling just as broadly.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Woohyun spoke in a hushed voice as he leaned in closer. He gave Sunggyu another kiss. And Sunggyu made a very frustrated noise when it ended and Woohyun had to leave.

Maybe, just maybe Woohyun was higher up on Sunggyu’s list than he thought.

Sunggyu waited until Woohyun was out of sight before returning back to the table. He truly and really did not want to make this trip, and it was very likely that it’d last over a month. It was already hard enough, being away from home for a week, especially when he’d been so used to certain company. But this was too much. And Sunggyu found himself muttering that he’d wanted to quit his job under his breath throughout the day. And he just did it again when he watched Woohyun leave.

Today , and it got even worse when he turned around and saw Bora, turned around in her seat while eating, staring right back at him. She shot him a coy smile before turning back around. , she just saw everything. And now she’d probably for it. For a half a second, Sunggyu contemplated running out of the shop in order to avoid her sass, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Bora would find a way to . And now that Bora and Woohyun became friends again, Sunggyu doubted that he could avoid her for another year like he just had. So he came back to the table at sat down with his ex-girlfriend to talk about his male lover. How did his life come to this?

“I can’t believe it,” Bora remarked as soon as Sunggyu sat down. “Woohyun’s really Ran Woong.”

Sunggyu only replied, “Yeah, he is.”

Bora’s cheeky grin widened. Her mind was searching for something to tease the man with, but instead what she found made her smile fall and draw out a curse, “Oh, !” Her hands covered her stomach as that word slipped from , as if that’d make her child not hear it. She continued, “I just remembered that one time when I asked you if you’d still love Woong if she were a man, and you answered it so seriously. I thought you were being dramatic. I would never have thought…oh !”

“I had to take it seriously,” Sunggyu justified. “I felt like I was leading him on.”

Bora made a disgruntled noise and shook her head. “But you didn’t,” she argued. “Just look at you two now!” she exclaimed, not knowing how her voice carried throughout the shop (or the real and really complicated nature of his relationship with Woohyun). Her sly grin returned and she bragged, “I told you that character and connection were important for a lasting relationship. I was right, once again.”

Sunggyu sighed and gave a slight shake of his head. “You said they were important for a marriage,” he reminded her.

“Same difference.”

“No, you need a little bit more than those two things for marriage to work,” Sunggyu argued. He then turned his attention back down at his empty bowl and searched fruitlessly for a last bite. Of course, there was nothing. He was looking for something in all the wrong places. “You need more than that to build a family.”

“Hm? Are you guys not planning on marrying?”

Sunggyu raised his head and dropped the spoon. “We can’t,” he replied.

“Well, yeah now you can’t, but who knows about the future? It could change a few years from now,” Bora combatted. “Don’t give up hope!” she exclaimed when Sunggyu began shaking his head again. But Bora really didn’t get what he meant, so he tried again.

“I can’t even say where I’ll be in a month, let alone a few years from now. I don’t know who I’ll be with then,” Sunggyu rephrased.

Bora fell silent for a few seconds as she studied her friend with great suspect. “Does this have anything to do with this Soobin woman?” she finally asked.

Sunggyu gasped at hearing that name come out of . “How do you know about her?” he blubbered.
“Never mind that, just answer the question,” Bora brushed him off (Although hours after the conversation Sunggyu realized that it could only be Woohyun that told her, which made him feel very uncomfortable. Woohyun rarely mentioned Soobin. What did he say about her to Bora?).

“Not just her but any woman,” Sunggyu finally came out with it. “I like being with Woohyun. I really do, but there are some drawbacks. And thinking of things in the long-term…I don’t know,” he put his dilemma into words the best he could, but it was hard when he didn’t quite understand his feelings himself. He really and truly cared for Woohyun, and he wanted to be with him for a long time. But for just how long? Would Sunggyu later come to regret spending all this time with him? What about family? How would that all work out? And women, Sunggyu still really liked women. His relationship with Soobin was still fresh enough that he was still figuring her out and his feelings for her. He liked her, and he enjoyed spending time with her but… ‘But’ there was always a ‘but’ now in every thought Sunggyu had. He couldn’t settle on anything, and it was irritating, for everyone involved.

He had to settle on something soon, though. He could sense it. He needed to close the door on this open relationship in one way or another.

“I can see where you’re coming from,” Bora understood. Her hands were at her belly once again, patting it softly, as to emphasize that fact. Sunggyu (mostly likely) would not have his own biological child if he stayed with Woohyun. And Sunggyu didn’t realize how much he’d wanted one, until he was confronted with the possibility of never having one. It’d take another great feat of magic for Sunggyu to get everything he wanted.

And while Sunggyu was thinking about magic, Bora talked about the last time it’d encountered his life: “But, Sunggyu, you like him both as a woman and a man. What more of a connection are you looking for?”

“I don’t know, and who even knows what Woohyun wants? It’s not just about me,” Sunggyu retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He huffed. Woohyun was seeing other people too. He insisted on carrying out this open relationship when Sunggyu tried to abandon it. What did that mean? What was Woohyun looking for that he didn’t get from Sunggyu?

Bora began to open to say something else, but Sunggyu interrupted her, “This is an incredibly awkward conversation to have with an ex. Can we talk about something else?”

“No,” Bora replied with a broad smile. “Because I have to go.” She got up from the table, with a bit of a struggle, and began to walk backwards towards the door, while waving at her friend. “Next time, call me before another year passes!”

“The phone works both ways, Bora!” Sunggyu shouted.
“I’m busy!” she yelled back and turned her back towards him. “Thanks for lunch!” And Bora was out the door.

Sunggyu’s face fell (if it could descend any lower). That was right. Both Woohyun and Bora left, sticking him with the bill. Sunggyu grumbled as he got up from the table and pulled out his wallet. “Today really .”

He wanted to quit life too along with his job.

Woohyun didn’t quite know how to pack for this weekend. What were they going to do? Would they even leave the apartment? Probably not. So he threw the bare necessities into a duffle bag. If he needed something, he could borrow it from Sunggyu or comeback here and pick it up.

Now that he was all packed up, there was one thing left for him to do: “I’m going out this weekend, mom. If you need me, call me. I’ll rush right over.” He then gave his mother a tight hug before picking up his duffle bag.

But his mother wouldn’t let him leave that easily. “Staying at Sunggyu’s?” she guessed.

This was awkward. “He’s going to China for a month, so we’re hanging out up until he leaves,” Woohyun explained, anxious to what she’d say next.

But he wouldn’t ever expected that she’d say this: “You know, if you want to move out of here, that’s fine. You don’t need to stay here for me. Your mother can take care of herself.”

Woohyun perked up and a grin broke out onto his face. “You wouldn’t mind if I lived with Sunggyu?” he asked.

His mother shook her head. “It’d give me some peace of mind to see you settled,” she explained.

Woohyun was so overwhelmed by her acceptance of both him and Sunggyu (and them together) that he gave her another tight, long hug. “I love you, mommy,” he told her.

“I love you too,” she replied and squeezed her son just as tightly. And when they let each other go, she waved him off, saying, “Tell Sunggyu that I said ‘hello’!”

“Will do!”

Living with Sunggyu, it would be a lie to say that Woohyun never thought about it. How could he not when he’d already done it? When they got close through living together? But Woohyun didn’t think they were quite at that point to live together again, until his mother mentioned it, until he had a taste of it by spending nearly three days at Sunggyu’s place, which almost felt like his own now. Why couldn’t they live together?

Oh, right, there was still Soobin, wasn’t there?

But Soobin wasn’t spoken of during those days. There didn’t seem to be any communication between her at Sunggyu at all. And she didn’t really appear to be on his mind, especially when he kept asking Woohyun: “Do you want to come with me?” “You can take a break, right? Fly out for a long weekend?” “A month! If I stay longer than a month, then you have to come, okay? You’ll miss me by then, right?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll miss you,” Woohyun answered, but he wouldn’t make any promises about visiting. It was too short of a notice to plan a trip, but if Sunggyu was there for more than a month, then maybe he’d have enough time to arrange things. He wouldn’t tell Sunggyu that though. It was too much fun watching Sunggyu bargain with him. A part of him wanted to wait and see how much Sunggyu was willing to ‘repay’ him for visiting. But what Woohyun ended up getting was much better than anything he thought of.

And when he first saw it in Sunggyu’s drawers, hidden underneath layers of socks, Woohyun thought it was his. But it couldn’t have been. Woohyun was still wearing his.

 “How long does it take you to find a pair of socks? Do you really need them? We’re just going over to the store for a hot second,” Sunggyu nagged as he came into his bedroom to check up on the other.

“What’s this?” Woohyun asked. He turned around and showed the other the simple chain bracelet in his hand. “Did you buy me an extra one? Or was this one for Heeyeon?”

Sunggyu stopped mid-step. His eyes darted back and forth between the bracelet in Woohyun’s hand on the one on his wrist. “Ah,” fell out of his open mouth. He then clamped his mouth shut and came to Woohyun’s side, closing the drawer. “No, it’s mine,” he confessed.

“But you didn’t give birth!”

That drew a snort from Sunggyu, and his apprehension fell away. “It wasn’t supposed to be a reward for…” he caught himself, when his gaze met with Woohyun’s. And the apprehension seized him again.

“Then what is it?” Woohyun urged him.

Sunggyu chewed on his lip for a bit before letting it go and saying, “It was a couples item, but I didn’t think it was the right time to, um, get into that stuff back then…for reasons.” Sunggyu didn’t need to say more than that. Woohyun knew what those reasons were, but Sunggyu still tried, “You know. You needed to be alone. And I…I…”

“I get it. I get it,” Woohyun cut him off. He really didn’t want to revisit all of that, especially when they were having such a pleasant weekend with each other. There was just one thing he wanted to know: “But still you didn’t get rid of it.” Why keep it when neither of them were ready to be a couple? Did Sunggyu have faith that they would be eventually?

Sunggyu would only admit to this: “I don’t get rid of anything. You know that.”

“Nope, you don’t,” Woohyun had to agree with the because, “You haven’t gotten rid of me either.”

Sunggyu frowned. “I’m not trying to get rid of you,” he grumbled through pouting lips. “I don’t want to.”

“In that case, give it to me,” Woohyun commanded and opened his palm up for the other. Sunggyu looked up at him confused. “Give me your wrist,” Woohyun cleared up.

“Hm?” Sunggyu hummed as he put his wrist into the other’s palm. “Is this okay?” he asked when Woohyun was draping the bracelet around his wrist.

But that question made the younger stop, along with his heart. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked in return, throwing up a cautious glance at the other.

“Because…” It was because of Soobin, Woohyun guessed. It had to be because of her. Sunggyu must really cared for her maybe more than…“Because I lied back then about this.”

Oh? That was it? Woohyun chuckled and hooked the clasp on the bracelet. That was nothing to worry about. After all, “It’s alright. I didn’t want to be a couple with you back then either,” Woohyun confessed himself and then walked out of the room after grabbing a pair of socks.
“You didn’t? Are you serious? Y-yah!”

Having a couples’ item meant they were official, right? That was the whole point of couples’ items, after all, to show off your relationship and commitment publicly. Did they finally close the door on their open relationship when Woohyun closed the clasp? Did Woohyun only have to worry about competing with China for Sunggyu’s time?

It really did seem like that, especially as the night wore on. It was honestly the best night, both out of and under the sheets. Woohyun had never felt so loved and appreciated. And he really hoped that Sunggyu felt the same way because Woohyun loved him, with his whole heart. And he wasn’t anxious about loving him anymore. Woohyun planned to confess to it, the next day, their last day together before Sunggyu had to leave. He would do it when the next opportunity arose, which should any time now. Sunggyu was lavishing him with sickly sweet words recently, saying anything to get Woohyun to come visit him (well, anything except those three words). Woohyun could slip in an ‘I love you’ all too easily (and in fact, it’d almost slipped out several times the night before).

But Woohyun wanted to do it today or tonight, since it was their last one together for a while. He was going to end their weekend together on the highest of notes. Or should he say it when he dropped Sunggyu off at the airport? That was also an option. Woohyun chuckled to himself, already imagining the bittersweet and frustrated look on Sunggyu’s face. Maybe tomorrow would be better then, Woohyun thought as he was cooking them breakfast. He’d get a bigger reaction from Sunggyu tomorrow.

And speaking of the sleepy devil now, Sunggyu had just woken up and shuffled out of the bedroom, refusing to move more than he needed to. He also refused to support himself any longer and clung onto Woohyun’s back. He then ‘repaid’ the younger by peppering kisses on his shoulder and neck, but maybe Sunggyu did that so he could casually rest his head on Woohyun’s shoulder. Whatever the case was, it still felt good and it tickled when Sunggyu murmured ‘good morning’ onto his skin.

“Good morning, hyung,” Woohyun said back. He did his best to continue making breakfast, but it was also hard to move with Sunggyu weighing him down like this. “How are you feeling? Sore?”

He felt the older’s hair brush against his cheek while he nodded.  “I think I pulled a muscle last night, and my head hurts,” Sunggyu mumbled. He raised his head to look about the room. “It’s too bright in here.”

“Tell that to the sun,” Woohyun joked, gesturing to the window in the kitchen.
“Stupid sun. Go away,” Sunggyu snarled and laid his head back down, or at least tried to. Woohyun quickly raised his shoulder in response.

“Hyung, you’re going to have to get off of me eventually. I can’t reach,” Woohyun complained and showed the other how he couldn’t even reach the cabinet above him.

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in and let go. He then opened up the cabinet for the other before going over to the table and slumping himself over that. Woohyun laughed, both at Sunggyu’s lazy version of ‘helping’ and at how the man could barely keep his eyes open. Why was he even awake? He could’ve slept in. The company gave him the day off to prepare for his trip, and Woohyun took the day off to in order to help. They could afford to have an extremely lazy Monday morning.

In fact, Woohyun was going to suggest that they should, “Today, I was thinking that we should…” But he was interrupted by Sunggyu’s phone buzzing. And Sunggyu went from exhausted to wide-eyed and attentive. He was quickly messaging back whoever texted him. And the phone buzzed again and again. Every time it did, Woohyun’s heart sank lower and lower until it was at the soles of his feet. And yet he could look away. He just stood there watching Sunggyu furiously text.

“Who is it?” Woohyun finally dared to ask. Please let it be his mom, Woohyun prayed to any divinity listening. Please!

“Soobin,” and Sunggyu made Woohyun’s heart drop from his feet and hit the floor. Sunggyu put down his phone and looked at the other, with a soft smile. “I told her that I would spend some time with her today.”

“Oh,” Woohyun muttered and hung his head. He really couldn’t look at the other right now. He turned towards the range again and picked up the spatula. He moved the food around in the pan without much thought because his mind was too preoccupied with one thought: Soobin. “When are you two going to meet up?”

“At 1 this afternoon for lunch, she wanted to meet earlier for breakfast, but I wanted to see you off this morning,” Sunggyu answered. There was a screeching noise followed by a grunt. Sunggyu must’ve gotten up from the table, and judging by the pattering of feet, he was coming up to Woohyun’s side again.

But Woohyun still refused to look at him. Actually he wasn’t actually looking at anything in particular because his tired mind was struggling to piece everything together. And this is what he came up with: Sunggyu didn’t know that Woohyun took the day off today. He’d woke up so early because he thought Woohyun was going off to work. And the night before was their last night together, their goodbye. That was why Sunggyu had been so sweet and attentive. And Woohyun had no idea.

But Woohyun tried his best to recover his plans. Okay, so they didn’t have today, but could they have tomorrow? Woohyun finally raised his gaze up to the other’s face, giving him a weak smile. “Do you need a ride to the airport tomorrow?”
“Soobin is taking me,” Sunggyu replied. “You’re working, so it works out.”

“I could’ve taken time off,” Woohyun grumbled and dropped his eyes back to the pan. What was he even making again? Woohyun didn’t give a crap. “Is she going to pick you up too?”

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” Sunggyu’s voice shook a bit. He was anxious. His touch even fluttered with nerves when he moved his fingertips up and down Woohyun’s back.

“She’ll probably want to,” Woohyun spat back and moved away from the other’s touch.

Sunggyu sighed. “She might be busy,” he predicted.

“I’ll probably be busy,” Woohyun was being stubborn and feeling vindictive. “I have work, you know.”

“Yeah, you’re busier than she is, I guess,” Sunggyu yielded and sounded pretty disappointed. Woohyun looked up at him again, and indeed Sunggyu was disappointed but also resigned. Was he going to give up? Sunggyu’s face was getting cloudier and cloudier, almost impossible to read. And that was probably because of the smoke billowing out of the frying pan.

“ting !” Woohyun cursed like never before as he lifted the pan from the burner and set it aside. Sunggyu had opened up the window in the meantime and the two of them were fanning out the smoke. But it was too late. The smoke alarm was blaring, adding to Woohyun’s embarrassment.

When the smoke cleared, Woohyun looked down at the pain and hardly anything seemed edible. “I burned it.”

“It’s okay,” Sunggyu replied and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m used to it. It’ll be fine. Let’s just eat. You need to get going.”

Woohyun did end up going to work that day, and it ended up being good that he did. They really needed him that day, unlike Sunggyu who had Soobin help him buy last minute items for his trip. And that really made Woohyun question were exactly he was on Sunggyu’s priority list.

Also was Sunggyu losing ranks on his own list? Woohyun didn’t know it was because of the burnt breakfast that they at, but in comparison to the sweet kisses shared earlier, when Sunggyu kissed him goodbye that morning, it tasted like ashes on his tongue.

Was their relationship up in smoke too?