It was after another drink or two with Chanyeol that Jongin started to realize there’s something missing. Someone to be exact, but in his drunken stupor he cannot tell who is it. He remember smiling eyes and wrinkled nose of a person that he’s one-hundred percent sure isn’t the person in front of him. He remember something about going to a cafe, drinking coffee milk (or more like a milk with coffee flavor) with that person and started a conversation. He also remember that person calling Chanyeol “a total face” and it was the first time he heard someone saying something bad about Chanyeol in front of his face. 

It’s probably one of those epic moments in his life. He felt like being cared of. For the first time it feels like someone is sincerely cared about him because with Chanyeol it doesn’t feel that way. With Chanyeol it just feels like he has to, because it’s a boyfriend’s duty to care for their significant other. Was it really like that with Chanyeol? Is that why he started to see someone else because they don’t feel like a burden like Jongin does? A fling is just that one time thing with no strings attached that you can just put inside a box under your bed and collect like they’re toys. Chanyeol like to collect things — superhero figurines, guitars, sneakers, snapbacks, hoodies, wrist watches, liquors and apparently people whom he slept with behind Jongin’s back.

“Jongin...” Chanyeol calls out to check on Jongin. He knows all too well that Jongin is a lightweight and he has been in this bar for quite long. Calloused hand caressing Jongin’s cheek tenderly. Jongin is trying his best to stay sober because he might do things he will regret tomorrow if he don’t. Things that involve crisp bedsheet turned wrinkled and strong arms of that person he’d rather not go home with. Jongin cannot trust himself well with this. He needs time, obviously. The previous few weeks are just insufficient for him to heal. It can’t be, of course. He’s still working to matches the puzzle pieces of this and that about him and Chanyeol, about what went wrong and where they possible took the wrong turn.

“Jongin? Should I take you home?” Chanyeol asked hesitantly after went unanswered. There, that question.

“Ah, no. I’m fine. I’ll just wait it out here for a while,” Jongin answered carefully.

“Are you sure? I see that your friend’s gone already,” Chanyeol stared at the empty seat where Sehun sat an hour ago. “I think your friend has something more important to do. You know I can’t let you go home alone like this.”

Kyungsoo suddenly appeared with a bottle of water. He’s sliding up into the seat beside Jongin.

“Here, drink some water and sober up a little.” Kyungsoo offered the bottle to Jongin. Chanyeol took the bottle knowing Jongin might not have the energy to open it. Kyungsoo then side-eyeing Chanyeol. As if to scold him for this turn of event. “Sehun left without a word. I’m a little hurt, I thought he’d say bye” Kyungsoo said with his shoulders down, analyzing the atmosphere surrounding Chanyeol and Jongin.

Ah, Sehun. That’s the name he’s been pondering over. He took the bottle and drink the water slowly.

“He did?” Jongin said after awhile. Kyungsoo suddenly nodded. Jongin finished the bottle and looked down at his shoes. He was too confident about talking to Chanyeol. He should have stayed with Sehun and tell Chanyeol they should meet up in an alcohol-free place. At least he know it won’t ended up with him saying things he doesn’t want to say to Chanyeol face to face. Truth is, he would probably crawl back to Chanyeol and goes back to the vicious cycle of being ignored and lied to. That’s not healthy at the very least. He doesn’t want to ended up being hurt again. Now Sehun would think of him as a bad friend for ditching him. Also as a stupid friend who say yes to his “total face” ex in a heartbeat. He should apologize to Sehun first thing in the morning.

“Maybe I should just head back with a taxi. That would do, right? I should apologize to Sehun too...” Jongin said with the little consciousness he obtained from the water. He hoped that he still have some aspirin left in his cabinet back in the apartment for the morning to come.

“I’ll take you back. I drove here.” Chanyeol offered again. He took a glance at Kyungsoo and his guts is right, the other is stabbing him through his gaze. That’s nasty, he thought, considering Chanyeol doesn’t have any agenda behind his action. He just wanted to take care of Jongin, like he usually did when they were together. In his mind, they still are an item anyway. This phase will pass and Jongin will take him again, because that’s how deep Jongin’s love is. He will never abandon someone that he cares about.

Jongin says nothing.

“Or should I take you to my house? Your belongin