Dear Diary, 

Date: Wednesday, April 1st, 2020

     Sorry I haven't made an entry in so long.. Here goes another whirlwind of . 

     So carrying on from my last entry.. Last year.. I'm awful. I apologize. 

     My lunch was over and I was already working on another food delivery by the time they came back. What I had thought was going to happen on that little trip was that things were officially going to end between them. She had given me an entire speech of how she couldn't take it anymore, she missed his friendship and that she had given up hope of anything happening between them. However, that wasn't the case. 

     I was in the parking lot when they pulled in and got out of her car. He was first, his cheeks were a faint color of scarlet and he looked extremely uncomfortable as he all but ran past me and into the gift shop to clock in. She got out and had the biggest dorkiest grin on her face. And I knew immediately what had happened. My initial reaction was disbelief. But I was so incredibly happy for her. 

      Until she told me how it happened, in the midst of their conversation where he was telling her the reasons as to why it wasn't going to work out between them, she had started crying and of course because he's a softy and can't take the sight of her crying, he held her. To which her response was to ask for a kiss. She told me he refused several times, thinking that it wasn't going to end well if they did, that even if his feelings for her weren't a reflection of her's, he still really cared about her. He was terrified of hurting her feelings. But she kept at it until he caved. It was a simple pop kiss but that was the biggest mistake he could have done thus far. 

    Yet she was so happy, through the roof ecstatic even, but it was a bittersweet happiness though. Because at the end of the day that was supposed to be the last of it. She had promised him it would end there. Things were supposed to go back to normal--I'll be honest, I personally didn't see that happening--for them. Instead of it making their friendship stronger, it seemed to build a wall. He wasn't avoiding her like he used to, but still he made sure to keep conversations short and courteous. Never let them dwelve too intimately. He was doing his best, it just wasn't enough. 

      I never noticed how handsome Seo Joon was during this time, because the entire time I was blinded by my first love. Any and all men just didn't catch my attention, especially a man a friend had feelings for.

     It was the following year in 2015, when I was dumped on April 4th. After having put almost three years into that relationship, I was cast aside like nothing. I guess I should have seen that coming. But it took me months to be able to deal with the emotional turmoil I was going through. I titled this collection of these diary entries, "Our Red String," because it entails the string of fate tied between me and my soul mate, however, if I were to choose a color for the chains my ex held on me, I'd say it was black. This man had me tied around his little finger. I'd fall into his trap over and over again.

      Again I found myself needing a friend to talk to but during this time Yeri spent most of her days at work crying and being constantly angry. I was caught between trying to get over my break up and trying to console her as well. It was taking a toll on my mental health. I just wanted to keep to myself again. I needed a break from it all. Between my broken heart, drama at home, and life in general ing me over in every possible way it could, the drama Yeri was causing at work was the last thing I wanted to be involved in. And Seo Joon seemed to feel the same way since he tried to stay out of all the angst as much as he could. He had his lunch break with the rest of the co-workers at the tiki hunt, while I had my lunch breaks alone again. He avoided being alone with her as much as he could without making it overtly obvious. I'm an observant person though so that failed, haha. 

     That didn't go so well with her, so she vented to literally anyone that would listen. Like I said previously, our manager knew full well what had went down, and because of this he was treating Seo Joon like , making him work 4 positions a day and it did not make him happy at all. He was just so over the situation as a whole. The man started to be even more reserved and in a constant state of anger. Not to mention the problems going on at home that added nothing to alleviate the chaos his work life had become. Everyone gave him knowing judgemental glances. Everyone had something to say under their breath when he'd pass by, and everyone had a few choice words to decribe him once he left a room. But again, Yeri always kept us on the edge of our seats. As much as she'd say to make him the villain, and herself the victim, she'd make up for by speaking of the romantic things he'd do for her. In his defense those actions never had any underlying romantic intentions. But that's not surprising at this point.

     However, the day came where Seo Joon broke up with his girlfriend of 6 years. The woman Yeri had been telling him to leave for her for the past year since I had started at the zoo. 

     The last straw for Yeri--at least I'd like to think it was the last straw--was the last time they kissed. This time it was one of two things, or he just couldn't say no because he felt pity, or since he's a guy, he wasn't gonna pass up a girl who deliberately straddled him and planted one on him. I mean, why would he? Especially since he was now single and free to do as he pleased. Anyways, she told me that they were in the back at a section of the zoo where the parrots were kept, they had just finished cleaning cages or feeding, and decided to chill for a bit. She had been craving alone time with him for a while now, and I guess he thought it was safe enough to go along with it. He's a tall man you see, 6'1". So he sat on a bucket while they catched up and ranted about the reverse logic of our lovely workplace. This allowed him to be able to keep eye contact, something he valued a lot. Giving eye contact to the people he spoke to is his way of showing them he was paying attention. That being said, this beautiful petite girl was rambling on in front of him, her laughter as contagious as ever. And his boyish smile and crinkly eyes charmed her. She decided that was as good of a moment as any they were gonna have. She told me she brought up a dream she had of him. This dream was what you'd consider a wet dream. And while starting the conversation by innocently saying she wanted to tell him about it, when he hesitantly told her to go on, she decided to show him instead. So she told me she moved in, straddled his lap and decided to kiss him full on the lips. According to her, it was a make out session, her first one ever, and according to her, he was a bad kisser.

     I was shocked when I heard this story and her opinion that he was a bad kisser. Simply because although I didn't find him that attractive, he has very smooth supple and full lips. Its something I couldn't even deny because that tends to be the first visual cue I notice on a man. And oh trust me he is very much a man, one who's presense has an overwhelming carnal effect. In essence, he looks like he knows how to kiss and he's blessed with the lips to do so. As weird as that may sound. 

      That being said.. The one thing--besides knowing everything I know now--that makes me think it was surprise and pity that made him kiss her back and not push her away was a conversation I had years later. Unpleasant memory for me honestly. 

      Anyways after that kiss, things went slightly cold. The attraction between them died down a noticeable amount. But hit the fan when Seo Joon started to get along with our Lead Keeper, and much more mature woman called Kwon Nara. Now this was a whole other fest of an ordeal.