Jessica 's pov. "Love." The word escaped my lips as my eyes went over to Taeyeon once more. Can I really let her in? Suddenly, she turned her head and our eyes met. Her lips spiraled into a smile and my breath hitched as butterflies fluttered inside my chest. "Aww." Somin placed her chin between her hands. "I wish Heechul still looked at me like that." I turned to her. "Like what?" "Like he's in love with me all over again." I'm sure I'm blushing hard right now with her remark. "Doesn't Heechul still look at you like that?" I asked. "Sometimes," She answered before looking at me solemnly. "You need to know that marriage is hard. There's no guarantee it will work out or last. But you make the best of it. You have to keep working at it. Sometimes you find you're just waiting for each other to take that tiny extra step and everything falls back into place again." "Interesting, but I don't think Taeyeon is really capable of love, let alone love me or someday try her best to save our marriage." I said as a matter of fact, "I mean our union is only a sham, an arrangement of two years." "Your marriage might have started as a deal but I told you, Taeyeon already loves you, even though she's trying to conceal it, love is a powerful thing though, so powerful you can't keep it restrained for long." She paused then glanced at Taeyeon. "You just need to give her a little push, you'll be surprised how competent she is of affection, she may seem cold and smooth, apathetic even, but that's all a facade she wants everyone to see and believe, deep down she's selfless, and she has a huge heart, just give her a chance and let her in, don't be afraid, free your soul." Somin turned to me now. I too glanced over at Taeyeon. She's not looking at us anymore. She's back to her task at the grill. Still, my chest feels like it's about to explode. Maybe I've been holding myself back from loving Taeyeon because I'm scared, just like I was trying not to get attached to the dogs. But just like with the dogs, I'm too involved now. It's too late now, even if Somin didn't wake me up, and reminded me of my feelings, they were already up close and about to explode, besides there's no reason for me to hide them now, Taeyeon and I are already married, even though the marriage is based on contract, a marriage is still a marriage. But still, I needed to think this through, I needed to be careful and not rush. This is Kim Taeyeon, a heartless heart breaker that Sunny warned me about, Can she really love? Can she really feel? Be committed? These wild hare of thoughts crossed my mind. And before I could give it a second thought, I found myself walking away from Somin and everyone as Tae ri came running towards her mother. Within a few seconds, I'd managed to walk away from the Kim family, and headed toward a place that we passed by on our way to the lake. It was a small rose garden park and it's only a short walk from where the lake was located, with one glance I knew this place would be a peaceful place, just perfect for me to sit and think about everything, things I feel, things Somin saw and believed, things I know so well of. Indulging myself, I brought out the can of beer I managed to take and a bar of peanut chocolate I always keep in my bag, then settled on a stone bench situated in the middle of the garden under an enormous oak tree. A soft wind wafted the scent of roses around me. I took a bite of the bar, savoring the crunchy peanut, I closed my eyes and tried to still my mind from anything except enjoying the soothing surroundings and the rich taste of creamy chocolate on my tongue. The distraction didn’t help. Sighing, I gave myself permission to look at what was right in front of me, beating in my heart. Okay. I want to have a crucial relationship with my wife. I want to make this marriage work. And yes I want to be the mother of her child. All of those realizations were a bit hard to stomach, but I could do it. Why run away from what I really want? I will do the pragmatic thing and accept the reality of my feelings. My desires. No problem. I finished the last of the chocolate bar and tossed the empty wrapper into the trash. Settling back on the bench I popped the beer can open and took a large gulp, watching a pair of pigeons flirt and dance around the boughs of the oak tree. Now, this was a problem. Because I hadn’t confronted one last feeling overwhelming all the others. I loved Taeyeon. I love her. I in my stomach and then slowly let it out, letting the last feeling slip into my heart and soul. I love her. I love her flirtatious smile and wink, her ajumma laugh, her dry humor, her cute side. I love her body and how she made my body feel. I love her boisterous side, even when it sometimes annoyed me. I love her intelligence, pride, and honor. That is why I would finally accept the consequences: the need to be the one to bear her child, the desire for her lovemaking, the wish to make this marriage mean what it should have meant: Love. I love her. Yet hiding beneath this love was a fear. A big, bad fear that Somin pointed out. Fear that Taeyeon won't love me but would view me only as a possession, someone she paid to act: an actress. Fear that I will get my fragile heartbroken. But, Taeyeon trusts me, she said she respects me too. However, I want more. I want her to love me with as much passion and promise as I'm willing to do. And I have no idea if that could ever become a reality, even though Somin has said she loves me back, but Somin is not Taeyeon, she can't speak for her. I know Taeyeon could be smug sometimes, but she listened to me, reasoned with me, and often agreed with me. She is protective, true, yet not in a malevolent or claustrophobic way. She was solid as a rock in her personality, her values, her self-confidence. It was time to stop pushing my feelings away. And it was time to forgive Taeyeon for her worst sin: forcing me to marry her just because I was in need of financial support. Wait, she didn't force me, I was willing to do anything, she even gave me a chance to back out but I agreed to go ahead. The memory is still fresh in my mind, how we started, how she helped me out on that cold weary night I got drunk. Thinking back, I think I liked her even then because she was nice, warm and gentle with me. I was so rude to her then, yet she ended up paying for my sister's surgery, without even our deal being finalized. Taeyeon was good to me from the very beginning, She was also good to Soojung and even Sunny, what more evidence do I need that Taeyeon is a nice person? I love her and I'll make her love me back. Period. From now on, I would not run away from this feeling. It was worth the risk to love Taeyeon. It was worth taking a chance on finding the loving woman behind the mask she wore. It was worth it to hope Taeyeon could let herself go and tell me she loves me back. Jerking out of my reverie at the loud honk of a car horn from a distance, I glanced at my watch and grimaced. I'd been gone for over two hours and was only now remembering to call my wife and let her know I was fine, they should go ahead and would meet them at home. Opening my purse, I dug through the miscellaneous scramble of lipstick, wallet, pens. “Bloody hell,” I muttered. I'd forgotten my mobile phone at home. The thing was lying on the kitchen counter, right where I'd left it this morning, to hurriedly get ready for the date with Taeyeon's family. I suppose I should go back now, they're probably waiting for me. But by the time I'd walked back to the lake no one was there. 'Where are they?' I asked myself, blinking rapidly. I looked around trying to see if they were hiding to play a prank on me or something, calling Taeyeon's name out loud but no one was really there. I scurried to where our cars were parked earlier and true they were really gone. I walked fast, trying to see if I could find a p