Chapter 6 - Past Pains And Future Fears

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“Hello...mom,” you did your best to keep the disdain out of your voice as began wondering what this woman could possibly want right now. Your mother wasn’t one to contact you, preferring to do everything she could to stay away from you unless she needed something.

 

“Y/N wonderful you’re free I was concerned I was going to spend hours trying to reach you, I need to speak with you,” you suppressed a groan as you held yourself back from chewing the woman out for her rude greeting. “I received a call from your grandmother asking if we would be attending a family reunion dinner. I have already volunteered you to help prepare dinner.”

 

“Wait i thought you and Roger were still on vacation in New York?” You couldn’t believe the nerve of the woman, She was always making decisions without asking people beforehand. She was exactly like her mother, she loved walking around flaunting Roger’s money acting as if it somehow made her better than others and that it somehow made her opinion more valid than everybody else’s, completely disregarding what everyone else wants. What irritated you more was the fact that anytime you would have these “reunions” most of it would be spent with your mother insulting and belittling you while the rest of the family either agreed with her or remained silent.

 

Your mother wasn’t an angel before your dad passed by any means, she still had this air of arrogance surrounding her, but after your father passed she started blaming you for all of her shortcomings, constantly reminding you just how worthless you were and that you were just like your father, that you would never amount to anything, that you should have felt honoured that she still kept you around. From the age of three all the way into your pre teens your mother did everything she could to put you down, emotional and mental abuse occurring daily, always threatened of things getting worse if you even thought of telling anyone. 

 

In a sick, twisted way you missed those days, back then it was just words, a few petty insults thrown at you everyday and verbal lashings to cripple your self esteem. That all changed when you hit thirteen, your mother, after diving head first into a drinking binge, once again began tearing into you for simply being on this earth, ranting on for hours about how her life would have been so much better if she had never married your “loser” of a father, or how maybe they wouldn’t have been poor if you weren’t alive. 

 

Leading up to that point you had sat back and delt with the insults, even after learning by watching other kids at school with their parents that what your mother was doing to you was wrong. You put up with it because you felt that it was easier, or maybe, deep down a dark and twisted part of you felt like you deserved it, however the comment about your father had finally caused something to snap in you. Your vision went blurry as you could only remember certain key moments, you were screaming, then pushing your mother back as she tried to advance on you, the next you remembered was laying on the ground, clutching your head in agony as you stared at your mother in shock, still holding the glass bottle that she struck you with.

 

That was the night that you learned it could get so much worse, that was the night your mother had realized how effective beating you could be. She skipped past simple smacks or even punches, often opting to use pans or bottles of alcohol to beat you with, often knocking you out as she always went too far in her fit of rage. You were surprised you didn’t suffer any major head injury apart from two confirmed concussions, frankly you considered it a miracle you were still alive.

 

Of course, your mother was smart, she knew never to leave bruises where people could easily see, if a bruise formed somewhere that could run the risk of people asking questions she would either put you in long sleeves and jeans or apply makeup to the area to cover it up. A close encounter with the neighbors in the summer caused your mother to cut back slightly on the beating, a curse in disguise however as your mother would make the beatings much worse to make up for the less frequency of them.

 

“Y/N? Y/N!” Your mother’s shout pulled you from the memories of your childhood, quickly you collected yourself before responding.

 

“Yeah, yeah i’m here I spaced out,” You said, taking a deep breath as you tried to calm yourself.

 

“Just like your father, could never keep up with anything, more trouble than you’re worth the both of you,” you grit your teeth as the venomous words caused your blood to boil as your mother continued to berate you and your father.

 

“Surely you didn’t call just to berate me and my father, so what is it you needed?” In all honesty you had spaced out multiple times during this conversation, not caring about any plans your mother or your grandmother had.

 

“Don’t get an attitude with me Y/N, and pay attention, I need to know what time you’re going to be at your grandmothers. Roger promised to take me shopping so we can have something nice for the dinner so i need to know when you’re going to be there to help!”

 

Right...Roger.

 

The two had met when you were in your junior year of highschool, hitting it off almost instantly as a man you have never met before quickly became a major factor in your life. It started off with him coming over once a week, not really interacting with you, more focused on talking to your mother. That lasted for a few months before he started coming over multiple times a week, by the time your junior year was coming to an end the two were getting ready for marriage without you even knowing the guy.

 

You had hoped that even though Roger got on your nerves from time to time, at the very least maybe him showing up in your life would finally put an end to the weekly beatings, maybe he could save you even if he didn’t know he was doing so.

 

That dream turned into a nightmare however when one night you had gotten into another argument with your mother, after yet another drinking binge. Insults were thrown as were random objects scattered throughout the living room as your mother’s idea of “shutting you up” was throwing a lamp at your head. You were fed up with the abuse, finally pushed to your limit as you remembered grabbing the closest thing to you as you laid on the floor before blacking out. When you regained consciousness it was to the view of your mother laying below you, holding her head in anguish, you were confused until you saw the thick copy of the family bible in your right hand.

 

You had never struck your mother up until that point, you later learned you had given her a mild concussion, looking back you figured it might have not been the best idea to strike her. In that moment though it seemed like the best idea you ever had, unfortunately you didn’t have much time afterwards to reflect on your decision.

 

Roger had come in shortly after, and instead of asking what happened, or even taking more than a glance at you, he stalked forward before nailing you in the face with a clean right hook.

 

That was when you learned that he was just like her, as you laid on the ground once more getting pummeled by a man you had barely met, a man who, prior to tonight you thought might be able to save you. That was the day your trust in everyone had completely vanished. You learned then and there that you could only rely on yourself.

 

“Look I’m not going to be attending this family reunion or whatever arlight, so just find someone else to help or do it yourself.”

 

“Excuse me? Y/N don’t be ridiculous this isn’t up for debate, you’re going to be attending this reunion and you will be helping your grandmother prepare dinner.” Your already thin patience was getting even thinner as the woman repeatedly pushed your buttons.

 

“I’m not even in the US! I am not going to be attending.”

 

“What do you mean you’re not in the US Y/N? Where could you possibly be then?” you could tell she was starting to get aggravated as she started getting louder, most likely disturbing and possibly even frightening anyone around her at the current moment. 

 

“I’m on vacation right now alright, just reschedule the dinner or something if you’re so insistent on having me there.” You weren’t keen on going to the reunion at all, but you figured it would be easier to find a middle ground, if possible, as you weren’t in the mood to argue with the woman.

 

“On vacation? Why in the world would you need a vacation? How can you even afford one?!”

 

“It doesn’t matter how i can afford it, and why wouldn’t I need a vacation huh? Why would you need a vacation if i didn’t need one?”

 

“Watch your tongue Y/N, You WILL show me respect is that understood? Now enough of this nonsense, you’re coming home right now or else I’m having Roger come and get you and trust me young man we both know you don’t want that.”

 

A few years ago the threat of Roger visiting would have terrified you, but now that you had moved out of that hell hole, and the fact that you weren’t even in the same country as them made you feel like you didn’t need to deal with her bull anymore.

 

“Right well good luck on finding me then because like I said I’m not attending.”

 

“Y/N YOU LISTEN TO ME-”

 

“NO you listen to me! I am not putting up with your anymore, now if you’ll excuse me i have better things to do than sit here and listen to you run your mouth, goodbye.

 

“Y/N? Y/N! DON’T YOU HANG UP ON-”

 

*Click*

 

You breathed a sigh of relief as you closed the call and muted your phone to prevent hearing her inevitable attempts to call you back. You stood there for a few minutes, embracing the silence as you worked on clearing your mind, that was until you heard the voice speak to you once more.

 

‘Do you really think that was such a good idea?’

 

‘Of course i do! She will be mad but it’s not like she will do anything.’

 

‘Are you sure about that?’

 

‘Why? Do you expect her to do something?’

 

‘Your mother never liked being told no, and knowing how Roger is i am sure they will start looking for you.’

 

You couldn’t disagree with that statement, but you weren’t concerned.

 

‘You’re probably right...but it’s not like they have any way of knowing I’m in Korea, and besides even if they did somehow find out where I am, I doubt they would go through the trouble of coming to find me.’

 

‘And what about when you return home?”

 

‘...’

 

The voice had a point there, while it was something you had considered before you went off on your mother you had figured it wouldn’t have been much of a problem since you moved out, but with the voice bringing up the idea of them traveling all the way to Korea to find you, you weren’t so certain now.

 

‘I'm sure we will be fine, if not then...well we will cross that bridge when we come to it.’

 

The voice had no reply to that, so instead you checked the clock and noticed that almost ten minutes had passed since you first got the call. Quickly making sure you had everything you headed out of the dance studio to meet up with the girls for what you expected was going to be an amazing lunch.

 

---

 

“Tzuyu-ah, can you share the the shrimps?” You snickered quietly as you looked on to Nayeon cutely pouting at the maknae in an attempt to get some of the shrimp cocktail they ordered. After a few seconds Tzuyu smirked slightly before slowly passing Nayeon the shrimp, Nayeon squealed in delight before launching into Tzuyu’s arms and whispering her thanks before she went back to her spot.

 

You had to admit the seafood place Dahyun picked for lunch was really good, the food seemed top notch and the staff were very welcoming, not being intrusive or even caring who they were serving, they were super friendly even striking up a conversation with some of the girls, bringing a small smile to their faces.

 

The conversations stayed light and small throughout the lunch, the girls joking around and generally having a good time. It was nice to see the girls relax from their busy schedule and find time to enjoy a night out with each other. You joined in on the conversation occasionally but were more content just sitting there and revel in just sitting there with the girls and seeing them having fun.

 

While listening to Dahyun tell a story of when Tzuyu accidently ate dog food one night where she was feeding Gucci while exhausted, completely embarrassing the girl, you noticed something out of the corner of your eye. Looking over you noticed Nayeon eyeing you oddly before turning away quickly when she noticed you staring.

 

‘Odd…’ Nayeon continued to steal glances towards you when she thought you weren’t looking, you tried to catch her but was unsuccessful as she kept looking away and acted like nothing happened. You eventually decided it would be better to just ask her about it after the meal.

 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” you looked over and saw Jeongyeon stare at you worriedly causing the other girls to turn towards you as well.

 

“Oh yeah i’m fine sorry haha i spaced out a little.” Jeongyeon stared at you intently for a few moments before shrugging and returning to her meal, you sighed slightly before turning your attention to Tzuyu.

 

“You know Tzuyu with the amount of fans Gucci has i’m pretty sure you could open a personal instagram for him and skyrocket his stardom.” You were delighted with another wave of the maknae’s musical laughter, quelling any negative emotions you reflected on throughout the day.

 

“I’ve considered it, I swear fans might actually love him more than me.” She contained herself to small bursts of giggles, you were about to reply with something witty however it seemed your heart had other plans as you began speaking before you could catch yourself.

 

“Well Gucci is a great dog but people must be blind not to see all of the amazing things about you to love.” Needles to say you were a little spaced out, simply enjoying the atmosphere and letting it wash away your concerns you weren’t paying much attention to what was said. That was until Nayeon decided to chime in.

 

“Oh? So there is a lot to love about Tzuyu? What kind of things Y/N?” Nayeon’s evil smirk would haunt you for years to come you were sure of that.

 

‘Okay Y/N think of something witty don’t embarrass yourself here.’

 

“Well what isn’t there to love, of course Tzuyu is extremely gorgeous so much that even people who aren’t your fans constantly praise her looks, she is really talented although personally i feel it gets overlooked not just her singing ability but her dancing as well. Not only is she able to perform at a high level keep up with Momo who is considered one of the best dancers of this generation but is able to comfortably weave in and out of the group during the choreography making flawless transitions despite her height.”

 

Once again the floodgates of admiration and praise had been opened and there was no way to get you to stop now that you had gotten the ball rolling, completely ignoring your inner voice begging for you to shut up.

 

“Then there is the fact that she is extremely caring, always doing her best to take care not only you girls but other idols and even fans, she is also great with kids always able to keep them entertained and make them feel welcomed even if it’s just her and them. Above all else though I love how mature Tzuyu has become over just a few years, when you girls debuted she was very shy and tended to close up when around others she didn’t know. But now she is very open not only to you and those you work with but with the fans as well, something they appreciate greatly.”

 

You finished off your “love” tirade and took a sip of water, only then did you notice the looks you were receiving from the girls, if it wasn’t for the situation you would have admitted their faces were priceless. The girls had a shocked look yet they had wide grins plastered from ear to ear, well except Nayeon of course, she just continued to smirk at you.

 

Tzuyu was an entirely different story, she had covered her face with her long smooth hair, doing her best and failing to hide the blush that you could still easily see, however you could still somewhat make out the large smile on her face even as she turned away from you in embarrassment.

 

“Wow Y/N you sure know how to make a girl feel special, should we expect this praise from you all the time?” You could practically feel the eating grin from Nayeon, you felt it was time for a little payback for all the teasing.

 

“Well what I can say? These girls are really special.”

 

“And what about me?” In response you just raised your eyebrows at Nayeon receiving a cute pout in return. You let her pout for a few moments before your heart couldn’t take anymore.

 

“I’m kidding Nayeon you’re very special to me as well, I look up to you a lot and admire just how strong you are for everyone especially the younger members, i’m sure everyone here looks up to you a lot.” The girls nodded in agreement causing Nayeon to blush deeply before staring down at the table, not able to make eye contact with anyone. This caused a round of laughter which Nayeong herself soon joined in on. After a while all of you got back to your dinner and small talk, however your focused seemed centered on Nayeon for the remainder of dinner.

You checked the time as the girls finished grabbing all of their belongings. The lunch went on later than any of you had expected, it was nearing 8 PM and all of you were starting to get tired as the day finally caught up to all of you.

 

‘Not that the food helped any, pretty sure these girls could eat more in one sitting than I could in a day!’

 

‘And yet they can keep a better physique than you despite that.’

 

‘Are you calling me fat?’

 

‘Well you could do some walking that’s for sure.’

 

‘Well if I’m fat then that means you’re fat as well!’

 

‘We both know that’s not how any of this works.’

 

‘...I hate you.’

 

‘Love you too buttercup.’

 

You shook your head slightly, the voice could be awful at times but you did enjoy the moments of banter between you two. Looking over you notice the girls were ready to head out and began making their way out of the room, you noticed Nayeon was going to be the last out and figured now would be the best time to approach her.

 

Just as she was about to head out you softly grabbed her arm, indicating for her to hang back, she turned to you with a questioning look and you hesitated for a moment to admire her beauty. You knew plenty of people praised Nayeon, and all of the girls for that matter for their beauty, but the videos and pictures had nothing on standing in front of them and truly appreciating how gorgeous they looked.

 

“Y/N? What’s up?” Nayeon tilted her head slightly snapping you out of your thoughts, you looked down and noticed you were still holding onto her arm. You let go and put them in your jacket pocket, taking a deep breath before speaking.

 

“I was just thinking, we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since I got here and I wanted to know you better. So i was wondering if you...wanted to hang out sometime?” Nayeon’s eyes widened and dropped slightly before she managed to collect herself and stare directly into your eyes causing you to blush slightly.

 

“You mean like a...date?” You gulped trying your best to stay calm, you would be lying if you said you didn’t want to go on a date with her, but you would have been fine if she preferred to not consider it that. You were afraid she would be mad but she seemed almost...hopeful.

 

“Uh...yes? If you want it to be a date.” The smile that appeared instantly on her face made your heart skip a beat, you tried to remain as calm as possible even if your insides were currently doing backflips.

 

“I would love to go on a date with you Y/N, it will be nice to know you a little better.”

 

“Wonderful, what day should we set it?” Nayeon sat there contemplating the question for a moment before her eyes lit up.

 

“How about tomorrow? Some of the members have photoshoots tomorrow but I’ll be free all day.”

 

“That sounds perfect, we can spend the day together while the other members go to their photoshoots.” Nayeon’s smile got bigger and a slight blush could be seen on her cheeks, accenting her beauty even more.

 

“So what are we going to do then?” You thought about it for a moment, thinking about what was something Nayeon would really enjoy but give you plenty of time to talk.

 

“How about...we go shopping at the mall and then go see a movie?” A sudden squeal and you found yourself almost tackled to the ground as Nayeon squeezed you tightly, in your mind, it was a pretty good indication you suggested the right thing.

 

‘Jeez i wonder what gave you that idea, the squealing or the hugging?’

 

‘Shut up.’

 

“That sounds amazing Y/N, i can’t wait!” Nayeon squeezed you one last time before letting go and stepping back, continuing to smile brightly up at you.

 

“Neither can I, I’ll make sure it’s a wonderful date.” You stared at each other for a few seconds before the voice of Jeongyeon rang out through the room, interrupting the moment.

 

“Come on you two the car’s waiting!” You two made sure you had everything before heading towards the car to head back to the dorm, smiles never leaving your faces.

 

Needles to say you were very excited for tomorrow.

 

---

 

You made sure you woke up early and prepare for your date with Nayeon. You were nervous about it but you felt a little more relaxed knowing you handled your date with Mina pretty well.

 

‘Wait was that a date?’

 

You figured it could be considered a date, although you didn’t know how Mina felt about it being considered that.

 

‘I don’t have time  for this right now…’

 

You continued on with your morning routine, spending extra time trying to style your hair into something that looked at the very least presentable. You were never great at getting your hair under control no matter what type of gel you used.

 

After finishing up in the bathroom you headed over your closet to see what would look best for the day. You figured since it was still spring you would try and find an outfit to match the vibrant atmosphere. Sorting through your wardrobe you finally decided on a form fitting black t-shirt and black skinny jeans. You then decided to throw on a red leather jacket to pair with your red Converse high tops. Checking yourself in the mirror you took admit to praise your fashion choice, you never figured yourself the fashion guru but you could pick out some decent outfits.

 

You put some cologne on before heading into the kitchen to make the girls some breakfast. Upon arriving you noticed Jihyo and Nayeon at the counter sipping a cup of coffee, you smiled and wished them a good morning which they quickly returned. As you begun preparing breakfast you felt a slight tap on your shoulder, turning around you noticed Jihyo holding a second cup of coffee in your direction. You took it gracefully while thanking her kindly before you continued making breakfast, a comfortable silence washed over you three giving you time to think and plan ahead slightly for your date.

 

Even as you were deep in your thoughts you couldn’t help but notice the subtle glances and smiles Nayeon sent you, smiles you returned everytime you caught her in the act. Neither of you found a time to actually tell the others that you were going on your date, you figured one of you would bring it up during breakfast but you didn’t think the girls would mind too much.

 

Just as you began plating the simply but fulfilling breakfast you heard soft footsteps signaling the other girls were up and heading towards the kitchen. In no time the kitchen table was full of hungry and groggy people doing their best to kick start their brain and motivation to tackle the day with some very strong coffee and breakfast.

 

It took a while before anyone said anything, but after finishing her plate Momo asked a question as she took her plate to the sink to wash it.

 

“So what is everyone’s plans for the day?” Jihyo decided to answer as she stretched slightly, her back popping slightly followed by a sigh of relief.

 

“Well you, Jeong, Chae, Mina and I have the photoshoots today.” Dahyun decided to lean on the table and chime in.

 

“Me, Tzu and Sana were going to visit this cute pet cafe in Hongdae. You wanna join Nayeon? You could bring Kookeu!” I shared a quick glance with Nayeon and nodded to her before she spoke.

 

“Actually I already have plans today, sorry.” This received some confused looks from the girls, I went to grab the girl’s finished plates as Momo began to speak.

 

“Oh? What kind of plans?”

 

“Me and Y/N have a date today.” Small gasps that were most likely exaggerated and some teasing giggles caused you to look up from the sink only to see teasing smiles directed towards you and Nayeon, you shook your head in exasperation although you knew it was all in good fun.

 

“Ooh Y/N you’re taking our fake maknae on a date? And here I thought you loved us…” You were surprised to see Dahyun tease you so mercilessly although deep down you had a sinking suspicion that Dahyun was a huge troll.

 

Jeongyeon not one to skip out on teasing decided she needed to throw her two cents in. “Yeah Y/N first you take Mina on a date and now Nayeon? What about the rest of us?” You felt embarrassed being the center of attention like this but you managed to keep your cool and decided to tease back.

 

“Don’t worry girls I promise I’ll take all of you on a date, you’ll get a chance with me.” You finished off with a wink resulting in some heart albeit embarrassed laughter from the girls. The girls started heading back to their rooms as you finished off your coffee, as you put the cup in the sink you heard Nayeon call out to you as she was walking away.

 

“Give me a bit to get ready Y/N then we can head out for the mall.” You agreed and then headed towards the living room to relax a bit while you waited. Leaning into the couch you decided to check your phone as you had left it on silent all day yesterday, opening it up you immediately saw that you had 6 missing phone calls. All from your mother.

 

‘She’s a persistent one isn’t she?’

 

‘Like you said, she doesn’t like being told no.’

 

‘This could become a problem at some point.’

 

‘It’s possible I won’t deny it. What could we do about it?’

 

‘You could always let me deal with them.’

 

‘What’s that supposed to mean? What could you do?’

 

‘The same thing i did to Roger that day.’

 

‘Wha-?’

 

Before you could continue you heard footsteps approaching you, looking over you were blown away by the sight in front of you. Nayeon was wearing a pink sundress that complimented her curves well, a light tan sun hat with a dandelion adorned on the brim. She chose simple white sneakers and had rose tinted sunglasses on, most likely to help conceal her identity. Her lips almosted blinded you with just how red they were, you had to admit as far as lip colour goes no one could hold up to how well these girls could pull off red.

 

“Are you ready Y/N?” The smile she gave you made your knees go weak and you had to focus so you didn’t fall as you stood up to greet her.

 

“Yeah I’m ready, wow Nayeon you look...gorgeous, even more so than normal.” Nayeon ducked her head quickly before smiling back up at you.

 

“Thanks Y/N, you look really good as well. Shall we head out then?” You looped her arm around yours with a smile as you two headed out after shouting a quick goodbye to the other girls.

 

You were concerned at what the voice had said earlier but you would ask it later, for now Nayon had your full attention.

 

---

 

You always had mixed feelings on malls, you enjoyed walking around and window shopping however you weren’t the biggest fans of the huge crowds. It wasn’t that you hated them or felt uncomfortable rather it would often become a pain to maneuver through the crowds without being shoved everywhere.

 

Thankfully today the mall wasn’t overcrowded so you and Nayeon had some freedom to move around without any problems, the trip over here was used for some small talk to help break the ice. You guys talked about plans for the date and decided on what movie to watch. A part of you wished they had a wider selection of western movies, but you were about to complain, personally you had always enjoyed Korean movies, dramas, especially over western films. Korean film makers just seemed to be able to push character development better and have better pacing overall.

 

Eventually you two decided on the movie ‘Spring Again’. A drama about a girl who attempts to commit suicide but meets a strange man instead of dying, it was directed by Jung Yong-Joo who admittedly didn’t have much experience under his belt, nevertheless you and Nayeon were willing to check it out.

 

“Jeongyeon was so mad! She gave Kookeu the stink eye for an entire month!” You had to hold onto Nayeon to make sure she didn’t fall over from laughing, she seemed to be having a wonderful time and you were right there with her. She felt like a childhood friend with how easy she was to joke and laugh with, constant teasing all in good fun really made the days you were around her more exciting.

 

“Say Nayeon, what got you so into fashion?” Nayeon tilted her head slightly in your direction to ponder the question, you couldn’t help but notice just how cute she looked when she did that.

 

“I guess I was always into it really, the idea of being able to express yourself through clothing was appealing to me. Learning about how much time and effort big name designers put into every line the released inspired me, I wanted to be a fashion designer for a while,’ said Nayeon.

 

“What made you not pursue a fashion career?” You both noticed a shoe store bustling with customers and decided to check it out, upon entering you noticed a sign that advertised a new spring selection which Nayeon started dragging you towards.

 

“When i was really young I found my love for singing, I had always dreamed of singing for an audience and so while I still loved fashion i knew performing would be my calling.” Looking at the selection of shoes you had to admit they were very pretty and fit the spring aesthetic really well.

 

You smiled at Nayeon’s antics, she was going from pair to pair praising each one for unique style before moving on to the next, she soon noticed a pair of yellow almond toe heels with a see through mesh wrapped around where the foot would go. She couldn’t take her eyes off of them as she seemed to have an inner battle with herself.

 

“What’s wrong?” You figured she would have grabbed the shoes right off the shelf and have them rung up before you could blink.

 

“Well...the girls have been getting after me for the amount of clothes I own and how often I go shopping so Jeongyeon decided to make me limit myself to a set number of purchases a month or else they would start tossing some stuff from my wardrobe.” Nayeon pouted cutely as she continued to stare at a pair of shoes, you could see how much she wanted the pair but didn’t want to risk upsetting the girls. Suddenly an idea popped into your head, with a slight smirk you looked around and noticed a sales assistant rearranging boxes on a shelf and quickly flagged her down.

 

“Hello how can i help you two today?” The girl asked politely.

 

“Yes can you wrap these shoes up and wring them up for me?” Nayeon tried to stop you but the woman had already grabbed the shoes and took them to one of the registers.

 

“Y/N you don’t have to buy them seriously it’s fine.”

 

“Nonsense you wanted the shoes but you have that limit set on you, of course the girls said nothing about someone else buying things for you did they?” Nayeon smiled and hugged you quickly before dragging you towards the register in a rush causing you to laugh.

 

After paying for the shoes and Nayeon repeating thank you over and over again you continued window shopping and idly chatting. You told Nayeon how you had wanted to learn more about the creation of music from your time in middle school and how you had struggled a lot initially to understand how it all worked, in return Nayeon shared her times when she first became a trainee and how it really showed how little she knew of the fine details of singing and songwriting. She mentioned how JYP himself would sit with her at times and be patient with her as she slowly learned new techniques and picked up the basics of writing lyrics. It made you respect the man even more, you knew he always looked after his artists but hearing how often JYP would take time out of his day to help them in small ways made you realized just how much he cared for all of the trainees. 

 

After another thirty minutes of window shopping you figured now would have been a good time to head to the theater, luckily there was one on the other side of the mall where they were airing the movie you two picked out. With the plan in mind you two set off towards the theater.

 

Upon arriving however you noticed that all of the lights in the theaters were off and the entrances were blocked off, you noticed a sign on one of the doors and decided to read it.

 

“Building under construction, the theater will be closed until further notice.” You sighed in irritation before turning towards Nayeon.

 

“What do you want to do? Is there another theater nearby?” Nayeon shook her head no in response before replying.

 

“The only one i can think of is a forty minute drive from here, I don't really feel like going all the way there for the movie.” Even though Nayeon didn’t sound upset you couldn’t help but feel bad for having something in your plan go wrong.

 

‘There’s got to be something we can do…’

 

“Do you want to go back to the dorm and watch a movie there instead?” You figured it would be a nice alternative to driving across the city just for a movie, and if Nayeon’s smile was any indication she seemed to feel the same way.

 

“That sounds like a great idea Y/N, come on let’s go!” Nayeon linked her arm with yours and just like that you two were off back to the dorms, overall you felt this date was going well so far.

 

---

 

Once you guys got back to the dorm you quickly sat down in the living room to find a movie to watch, the other girls still weren’t back yet so you two had the dorm to yourselves giving you some nice peace and quiet. Eventually you guys decided on some romance comedy as Nayeon was apparently a er for those. You had to admit the movie was pretty enjoyable though you and Nayeon spent a lot of time just chatting.

 

Nayeon started telling you stories of when she had met the other members during her trainee days, she went on about how Jeongyeon and Jihyo were there for her during some of her most difficult days. It really explained why those three always seemed so close to each other, you imagined even before sixteen or Twice those three must have struggled a lot together and were there for each other when they needed it.

 

You decided to tell her about some of your friends back home and told her some of the crazy things you used to do earning several rounds of laughter from just how many crazy and frankly stupid things you did when you were younger.

 

‘Not that much has really changed…’

 

‘Yes you have a knack for putting yourself in some truly outrageous situations’

 

You couldn’t exactly disagree with the voice on that one.

 

Now that the conversations had slowed down you figured it was time to bring something up to Nayeon, ever since the night before you wanted to know why Nayeon had stolen glances at you during dinner.

 

“Nayeon, can i ask you something?” You turned towards Nayeon and received a nod as a response.

 

“Why did you keep looking at me during dinner yesterday.” Nayeon kept eye contact with you for a few seconds before sighing and bowing her head, her response coming out softly.

 

“Because...well Mina told us some things and I...I wanted to ask you about them but I didn’t know how to.” You tensed up slightly, already guessing as to what Mina had told her. You didn’t feel ready for this conversation, you didn’t think you could handle reliving your past yet.

 

“Y/N...how does your mother treat you?” The question was timid, the room had gone silent as you tried your best to calm down, a turmoil was raging inside of you. Part of you wanted to come clean and be honest with Nayeon, while the other part was scared.

 

Nayeon remained quiet as you continued battling yourself, not pushing or prodding for an answer, she was perfectly fine with waiting for you to take the first step and you thanked her for that.

 

‘What if she thinks I’m disgusting or awful for it.’

 

‘What if she ignores me or treats me differently once i tell her?’

 

These thoughts plagued your mind, once again you felt the darkness creep out and latch itself around your heart, trying all it could to drag you down into the dark crevices of your mind. To you back into your depressed state. You looked at Nayeon and saw nothing but caring and friendly eyes, eyes that were not pushing you to speak but rather eyes that told you she cared for your well being and was there if you were ready to talk. That look instantly washed away the dark thoughts and in that moment you made up your mind.

 

You sighed softly before sitting up and in a swift motion you took your shirt off, Nayeon inhaled sharply and became rigid as she looked upon you body. Scars littered your body and permanent burn marks were found on your upper torso and arms. Nothing was said as Nayeon lightly traced up in down your body, gliding her fingers across some of your scars.

 

After a few minutes Nayeon finally spoke, her voice no longer warm and friendly, her words were laced with ice and fury as she stared into your eyes.

 

“That...that... did this to you?” Each word was sharp and clear, Nayeon seemed calm on the outside but you could clearly see she has holding back her fury. You eventually found your voice and spoke softly and without emotion.

 

“The abuse has been a part of my life for a long time, when it first started it wasn’t too bad but after awhile my mother became ruthless. It only got worse when she met her current boyfriend.” You shook lightly trying to reign in your emotions, suddenly you had a weight against you, looking down you saw Nayeon lean against you and wrap her arms around you in comfort.

 

Slowly you began giving her details of the beatings and explained what happened when Roger first came into your life, you kept some things to yourself as you didn’t think you were ready to talk about them yet. Every now and then you would start to curl into yourself and try to hide away from everything only to have Nayeon rub small circles in your back to calm you down. She said nothing as you continued on, explaining to her how you had gotten some of those scars and what led up to them.

 

Eventually you finished and you breathed in slowly before exhaling, part of you was still struggling to handle all of this but having Nayeon by your side was pulling you through this with strength you didn’t think you had, you had to admit you felt a little better now that you had finally talked to someone about it. Nayeon finally began to speak, her eyes burning with determination as she spoke to you firmly.

 

“I can not believe someone would do something like that, especially to their own son, you may not see it this way but that woman is no mother in my eyes after everything she has done, don’t ever blame yourself or think you deserved that Y/N you got that? You did nothing wrong.” Nayeon was so firm with her statement you couldn’t help but agree with her regardless of how other parts of you felt, it was silent for a bit as Nayeon leaned into you once more and you both embraced the silence to reflect on the previous conversation.

 

After a few minutes you decided to break the silence, looking down at Nayeon as you spoke.

 

“I’m scared Nayeon truthfully, I don’t want to deal with my family anymore and I’m scared of what will happen in the future, I am scared that I might lose everything that I care for in my life because of them.” You squeezed Nayeon’s shoulder for comfort which she returned by squeezing your back before speaking.

 

“We won’t let anything happen to you Y/N I promise you. We can deal with it when the time comes but i promise you we will be by your side if you ever have to deal with them, they won’t do anything I promise.” you weren’t fully sold but her words did bring you some level of comfort, before you could speak however she continued on.

 

“I’m scared of the future too you know, I think about it all the time.” You looked at her confused, what could she be concerned about in the future?

 

“What about the future scares you Nayeon?” you asked.

 

“I’m scared about what will happen with Twice, this has been my dream for so long and i love the girls so much i can’t imagine my life without them at this point.” Ah now it made sense, she was concerned about the future of the group and what would happen to them afterwards. If you were honest with yourself you were also concerned of when that time came but you chose not to think about it often and enjoy the present.

 

“How long did you want to be a group for Nayeon?” Nayeon shifted a bit closer to you, making you realize you still had your shirt off though you felt it wasn’t the time to do anything about it.

 

“I would love to be a group for at least 10 years, anything past that would just be a blessing, not that it isn’t already,” said Nayeon.

 

“Have you talked to the girls about it?”

 

“No...I’m scared that they might not want to continue as long as I do.” Nayeon looked down and sniffled slightly, immediately you tilted her head up to face you and wipe the corner of her eyes.

 

“You should talk to them, they love you a lot Nayeon you girls love each other so much everyone can always see it, you girls are a family and I am sure they want to continue doing this for as long as possible.” You wiped a few remaining tears from her eyes and giving her a soft smile, Nayeon returned it and continued to hug you.

 

“Thanks Y/N, I’ll talk to them tomorrow about it, thanks for letting me vent about this as well.” 

 

“Anytime Nayeon, Hey uh...please don’t tell anyone about my...past yet I need to prepare myself for that conversation.” You knew you would need to tell them eventually but you needed time to prepare yourself to relive the memories. If you were going to tell them you were going to tell them all of it.

 

“Of course Y/N and you can come to me about it anytime you want, I’m here for you always.” You thanked Nayeon before her phone started buzzing, turns out it was she got a text from Jihyo.

 

“Hmm it says to not bother with dinner as they were bringing home food. They will be here in about ten minutes.” you stood up and stretched slightly before offering your hand to Nayeon who accepted it gratefully.

 

“Well i guess that’s less for me to do, what do you we we clean up the living room while we wait?” you started heading off but Nayeon quickly grabbed your wrist and spun you around, she raised herself up and placed her lips softly against your cheek. Your cheeks flamed red as did Nayeon’s but you both were smiling ear to ear.

 

“Thanks for today Y/N it was really great, we should do more dates in the future.” Nayeon smiled once more before beginning to clean the living room, you stood there for a few moments touching the spot where Nayeon kissed you and smiling like a fool.

 

‘I could get used to this.’

 

You soon joined Nayeon in the cleaning, never noticing the three missed calls on your phone.

 

Yes…

 

Today had been a great day.

 

---

 

End

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