Four days.....fours days since that fateful day that i found out i would be spending an entire month with my favorite k-pop group, Twice.

In the last four days I've been trying to run around and make sure i have all loose ends tied up and everything packed in my suitcase. The email stated i would be flying out on the 22nd so i still have a week before i head out to korea....for the first time in my life.

Okay so maybe i haven't been okay, four days later and i still have panic attacks every time i remember exactly what I'm going to be doing in a week.

Yesterday i informed F/N about where i was going and while i didn't expect him to understand why i was so estatic i definitely didn't expect the answer i got....

||FLASHBACK||

F/N: so let me get this straight....you're going to be spending an entire month in a dorm with 9 females....

You: yeah it's crazy that I'll be able to talk with them i never thought i would even get to see them in person!

F/N: So you're going to be sleeping with 9 females....9 beautiful females around our age?

You: what are you trying to imply F/N?

F/N: I'm just saying man you better send some videos or at the very least pictures.

You: Aish that's all that is ever on your mind.

||FLASHBACK END||

I swear is all F/N thinks about. Don't get me wrong I'm no and the thought of it with Twice has crossed my mind but it's not like I'm just going to show up, yank my boxers down and say "How's it going ladies?" I'd imagine the also have boyfriends already and I'd rather not deal with pissed off boyfriends.

No, no I'm gonna have fun and learn all i can about the girls and hopefully become friends with them. That's all i want really, to be friends with the real them and not because they're idols but because of who they are as people.

But if is offered....well I'm still a guy aren't i?

The hardest part the last few days was getting everything set up with my classes at (your college) so i can take this month off and still come back and work towards my masters in (your preferred degree).

Luckily i talked with the dean and worked something out where if i proved i was up to date with the future course work it wouldn't be a problem and they would let me catch up, thankfully i had spent a lot of time reading through the future material and was easily able to prove i was ahead in the course work.

A part of me had debating on informing my mother of my trip but i decided against it as i just felt like she wouldn't care since i moved out a year ago. But a small part of me was sad that i wasn't telling her where i was going...or maybe i was sad that i would be gone and she probably wouldn't even notice.

Clearing my thoughts away i redoubled my efforts on getting my suitcase packed, after all how could i not be excited? I get to meet Twice!!

I really need to work on that whole not panicking thing....

||ONE WEEK LATER||

I stood staring into the mirror looking myself over making sure i looked my absolute best for this trip.

blazing E/C stared back at me attempting to peirce into my very soul. H/L H/C flowing down my head as i attempted to style it out of the rat's nests that was normally my hair.

I decided to put on a simple form fitting white T-shirt that hugged my stomach and chest nicely. I don't consider my self narcissistic however i did work out alot and put in a lot of effort into my body. I'm no body builder by any means but with a leaned out stomach that sports 6 pack and a fairly large chest most would consider me a mixture of buff and lean but not too big. Along with the decent sized arms from construction and lifting weights i would be blind if i said i didn't have a good body.

After i slipped on the the white T-shirt i threw on my black leather jacket with several chains and zipper adorning the peice of fashion. This has always been my favorite jacket, reminiscent of the old school biker jackets but more form fitting it always complements my shoulders and chest and with the simple white shirt it truly gives off that causal vibe.

I threw on matching dark jeans and put on my black and white high top vans and looked myself over the mirror.

You: alright I'll be honest I'd myself....I'm never saying that again.

I shook off that embarrassing comment and went over my checklist while i waited for my ride to the airport.

The plan was that a company vehicle would pick me up at 6 am and drive me to the airport. I would hop on the plane at 9 am and begin the 12 hour flight. Since South Korea is 12 hours ahead of us by time i get there it will be 9 am in Korea while it would be night time back home. Based on traffic it was estimated that i would arrive at the dorm at about noon. Plenty of time for the girls to fully wake up.

As i finished packing i couldn't help but wonder how this whole thing would work out. I had finally moved past my anxiety of the entire situation though I'm pretty sure when i actually meet them face to face I'll have an internal breakdown. But if I'm gonna be spending a month with them what will we be doing? Surely the girls must be working on a comback and will have promotions and concerts to do...would i be tagging along with them for that? I guess I'll have to just ask when i get there.

After i finished packing i decided to make a quick breakfast as i had about two hours left before my ride arrived and as I figured i would be sleeping most if not all of the trip i might as well eat some food now and not be as hungry later.

||TIMESKIP||

I HATE AIR TRAVEL

I lugged my bags out of the overhead carrier and reflected over what was easily the worst flying experience of my life.

Oh sure the drive to the airport was fine, the person who picked me up was nice, apparently she drove a lot of the executives for the American branch of JYPE around and we had a nice chat about previous work and the company in general.

When i had arrived at the airport i expected some issues since I had never had a real fantastic time dealing with airports in the past but good lord who would have thought it would be such a nightmare!

First i had checked into the wrong area, turns out the ticket was business and I tried to go into economy, that was my fault but with how packed it was i couldn't easily switch isles and had to wait through the line all over again!

Then when i checked in i had to answer all these questions about my relationship with the company why i was making this trip blah blah blah like UGH!

Then i had to go through security and having to sit there and explain why I had kpop albums in my bag and sit there and watch them take them all out and go through them setoff a small twitch in my eye. I didn't take any Twice ones but i did take Blackpink's and BTS's albums...hey I'd still want to get them signed!

By time i got through security i checked the time and noticed i only had 15 minutes to board my flight....and the international flights were on the other side of the airport....

After sprinting a marathon and barely making into onto the plane i finally sat down in my seat only to realize that i had no time to charge my phone and it had died...and there was no plugin for my phone. SERIOUSLY?! IT'S BUSINESS ON AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT AND YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE CHARGE?!

...

I'm never been so happy for in flight alcohol.

After exiting the plane i start making my way towards the pickup section outside the airport where another company vehicle would be picking me up and taking me towards the dorm.

I took some time looking around the airport as i made my way towards the front entrance thanking myself for the extra time i had put in over the years learning korean. I'm not fleunt by any means but i can easily hold conversations with any of the locals in the districts.

I originally decided to learn korean because i was gonna make covers on YouTube however over time i had simply fell in love with the language and culture, thankfully it seems like all that time spent was going to finally pay off.

When i left the airport i looked around for any indication that the company vehicle arrived, i quickly spotted a man to my left holding a sign with my name on. I went to the car and handed the driver my bags and as he was putting them in the back of the car i pulled out my phone and got in the car.

I sat down and buckled up as i was pulling up Instagram on my phone.

???: Hello Y/N

I snapped my head up towards the front seat from where the voice came and my eyes bugged out at who was sitting in front of me.

Y/N: "A-ah Mr. JYP PDnim h-hello." Nice one Y/N not even 10 minutes in korea and you're already stuttering in front of JYP...you're never gonna survive the girls.

JYP chuckled as he sent me a soft smile and offered me his hand.

JYP: "Please just call me JYP or Mr. PDnim." I quickly shook his hand and thanked him as the driver hopped into the front and we quickly took off.

JYP: Ah so Y/N how was your flight?

You: Ah well sir to be honest the flight itself was fine but my local airport insisted on giving me hassle from the checkout to security.

Jyp chuckled once again and slightly shook his head and looked back towards me.

JYP: Ah yes i would imagine it was either for it being international or for it being business?

Y/N: Both actually.

JYP: "That sounds about right, i still have issues when it comes to booking business and I'm the owner of the company!" JYP laughed and shook his head in exasperation. I couldn't help but enjoy this casual atmosphere that surround his entire demeanor. Suddenly JYP cleared his throat and looked directly at me.

JYP: We have about an hour drive from the airport to the dorm and i wanted to talk to you about a couple of things before we get there.

I gulped slightly but tried my best to look casual, in a way i had actually expected this conversation from the very start. But at least he still seems casual about it.

Y/N: Of course sir i expected a conversation like this actually.

JYP: Haha very thoughtful of you then. Now i first want to state that i had read your submission after the girls picked you and i must say how impressed i was of your maturity towards the girls and the industry as a whole.

Y/N: Ah...thank you sir, in the end they are still just people. Behind the music, money and fame they are just your average girls with dreams, hobbies, likes and dislikes just like the rest of us.

JYP sent me a small smile however it quickly turned into a serious frown and stared deep into my eyes, i felt this odd pit in my stomach start to form from the look he is giving me.

JYP: I also read about your life that you wrote about before you discovered the girls....I'm so sorry Y/N that you had suffered like that, but in your submission i felt that you had implied some heavy things without outright confirming...I'm guessing you left some things out?

I froze in my seat sending JYP a blank look.

Something i left out.....the scars. I had written about my depression and explained how close to the 'edge' i was. I never specifically used the word suicidal as i didn't want to really upset the girls reading it. But i heavily implied it along with self harm. Truthfully the scars kind of slipped my mind. Twice and k-pop as a whole had made me so happy that i simply never dwelled on it.

I looked at JYP one more time before sighing heavily and looking out the window.

Y/N: Truthfully some of it just slipped my mind...i harmed myself you see, it helped....ease the other pain i guess. It became a subconscious thing to just always wear long sleeves so know one noticed. When i discovered Twice all the pain i felt washed away. The pain is still there for sure but i have things that take my mind off of it.

I chanced a look back at JYP and saw a grave expression set on his face.

JYP: "Do you still....?" He spoke softly and trailed as he sent me an understanding yet questioning gaze.

Y/N: No I'm not suicidal anymore and I don't harm myself anymore.

And awkward silence rained over us for a few minutes befor JYP spoke up once again.

JYP: right a few other things aswell. Obviously we don't want you to leak out the dorm's address to anyone, we don't think you will but obviously it needs to be said just in case.

Y/N: of course.

JYP: as far as anything else like pictures, videos, phone numbers anything like that is fine. It's just up to the girls to decide what they do and don't do but obviously if they want something kept under wraps we ask that you respect that.

Y/N: of course. Their privacy is very important.

JYP: as the month goes on we may have group activities to do and you will tag along for that and we will let you know later down the road if any activities come up.

I just nodded my head. At least i didn't have to ask.

JYP: and of course just be respectable and nice, if their are any dorm rules then the girls can fill you on that. And if you head out with the girls then just make sure to protect them okay?

Y/N: Don't worry sir i won't let you down!

||TIMESKIP||

About 40 minutes later we pulled into this dorm complex that could honestly rival a skyscraper.

We pulled around the complex and parked in a spot next to a big building with the letter D.

JYP: Okay Y/N their dorm is number 23, you go up the stairs to your left and take i right when you reach the top. At the end of the hallway will be the dorm.

Y/N: Wait you aren't coming with me sir?

JYP: No i have some business to take of at the dance studio, besides this is your trip so your first meeting should just be you.

With that i hopped out of the car and gave JYP one last smile and wave before the car turned around and headed off.

I turned back and slowly started walking towards the stairs.

This is it....I'm here in Korea, at the Twice dorm after meeting JYP himself and I'm about to me my favorite group!

Like a tidal wave my anxiety kicked in full force and i was shaking to the bone as i slowly ascended the stairs.

What if they don't like me? What if i say something wrong? Do i look okay? What do i say to them?!

As i was freaking out in my head my body continued moving on autopilot and before i knew it i was at their door.

Okay...OKAY! Calm down you can do this they are just normal girls who have given you this opportunity to get to know them. Be nice, be kind and be yourself....you got this.

With my internal peptalk over i screwed up all my courage and did the one thing in my life i never thought in my wildest dreams i would ever do.

Knock Knock Knock

I knocked on Twice's door!