After that torturous photo shoot with Tao, Chen and Lu Han, I went straight to bed. I ignored him, Tao and Chen the trip back, ashamed of the thoughts that dominated my mind before. The thoughts of what I wanted to do to him. How I just wanted to play with his hair, inhale his scent, caress his fingers, hands, forearm, biceps, shoulders, neck, torso and beyond; but most of all, ravage his lips with my own, marking him as mine. What’s wrong with me?

~

                “Okay! It’s time for you to move onto the group photos. You’re late,” says my photographer. “Everyone’s waiting on set”

                I bow politely and take my leave. Taking a few snacks on the way, I manage to reach the set without receiving any impatient looks.

                “Okay! Group shot time!” Gleefully exclaims the photographer. His excitement is a little bit too dramatic. I can tell by Lu Han’sface that he’s definitely trying hard not to punch him in the face. A slight grin appears of my face.

                We all gather on set

                “Okay, Lu Han lie down and pretend you’re reading the magazine. Chen, lean on him from behind and flip the pages. Tao, look from behind. Kai, lean back on Lu Han and read the magazine from behind him.” The photographer instructs.

                Lean on him?! My body does it without hesitation, but my head is whirling. I don’t have enough time to process our body contact, before the flashes start. Blinding me, I lean on, not even focusing on the magazine. I wonder what he’sthinking of right now.

                “Okay! Kai, now you read the magazine and everyone look onwards.”

                Again, my body does this without hesitation. My mind has no control of my body anymore.

                “This looks a little awkward…”

                Suddenly, my body rests on Lu Hanschest. My head wedge on his shoulder. My back burns with his body heat. My head is pounding. My mouth is dry. I try to look as natural as I can, but I can’t. The slightest movements hemakes I can feel on my back. I can almost feel his heart beating. It’s fast. Just like mine.

                “Good! Good! Hold that pose!” And I do. I can feel himslightly squirming underneath my body. The flashes blind me. The only thing that goes through my mind is what I would do to him if we were alone.

                “Okay, get rid of the magazine. Everyone, sit back up” snapping me out of my dark reverie. ”Look away from the camera and look like you’re all brothers!”

                Brothers?  Great. Now I feel as though my thoughts before were uous. I cringe with disgust.

                We do as we’re told. It seems as though I regained control of my body. I position myself near himso as to not touch him. My body does something stupid. My arm wraps itself around hisslim shoulders pulling him closer. His heat now centres on my chest. His fresh watery-citrusy scent brushes past my nose. I’m too nervous to show any emotion on my face. Luckily I’m facing away. I bet he wants to punch me.

                “Nice! Good work, Kai!” Encouragement. That’s exactly what I need right now.

                A few flashes go past, and then I feel movement from underneath my arms. I feel hands on the underside of my inner thigh. It’s him. I jump a little. My heart stops. Red rushes into my cheeks. Palms sweat. A heat tingles down to my pants*.

                “Good! Good! Kai, Lu Han, great chemistry!” Chemistry? We sound like a couple.

                I don’t think I can last. The heat in my pants is getting too much. I gulp down whatever moisture is left in my mouth. The next few flashes seemed to go in slow-motion. I try and hold myself together, afraid of what my body will do. Will I pounce on him? Pin him down and just do whatever I need to satisfy these wanton desires? Why is he doing this to me? Is he teasing me on purpose?

                “Okay! That’s a wrap.”

                I get up immediately, quickly bow and rush out. I don’t speak to anyone. I feel disgusting. My lust got the better of me, consuming my thoughts like a black-hole.

~

                Now, here I am, on my bed, looking at the ceiling in the dark. It’s silent. I hear some muffled chatter from behind the wall and then the door closing. Did all they leave me behind? Who went? Is Lu Han still here?
                I wait, silence hanging in the air, for any sound. The television turns on. I’m not alone. Is it him? I hit myself in the head a few times. I can’t be thinking of him. What’s wrong with me? I can only think of him. It’s not a crush. It can’t be. I’m straight! I like girls. I had a girlfriend! I loved her. I’m straight. Straight. Then why is it you can only think of him? I’m straight! His hair, his body, his smell, his feet, his eyes, his- I’m straight! Lu Han.
                The only way to solve this is to keep myself busy! I sort out my luggage. First, I arrange all my shirts by colour. Then, I align my shoes together. Then, I put photos of my parents and my two older sisters on my desk. Then, I bring all the other essentials out and place them on my bedside table. The TV is still on, but I hear nothing else. I decide to walk outside.

                Creaking open the door, I see flashes of the TV on the wall. Tip-toeing out, I peak into the living room. I see a body laid down on the couch, looking as vulnerable as ever. It’s Him. He’s asleep. I continue to peak from behind the wall, scared that someone will see me ogling this beauty even though I know it’s just me and him.
                 His face is so innocent, pure, like an angel’s feather. I just want to touch him. I tip-toe over and go on my knees. I study his face. He’s flawless. He’s so vulnerable. I then move onto the rest of his body. The tight shirt defines his toned chest. I see skin. His shirt has risen up in his sleep, showing his entire navel, his belly button and the light-thin hairs trailing down into his pants.  My mouth dries out. I my lip. My body takes over. I’m on top of him. I grab his arms and pin them above his head. My hips are on top of his. My face centimetres away from his. I feel his warm breath. My eyes begin to get hazy, warped up in lust. He begins to move. His eyes slowly open. I need to get off him, now! But I don’t. My body is in full control now, and it wants to satiate its primal needs. His lips. Those gorgeous lips.

                A moan escapes me. “Hyung….”

                His eyes burst open.

                “W-what the !?” He shouts, but I ignore it. I move in closer to his lips. “G-Get off me!” He squirms underneath my hold, body trashing away underneath me. He’s redder than I’ve ever seen before.

                “Hyung…” I moan again, leaning in even closer.

                He looks at me, eyes still containing that hint of darkness. A secret that he’s hidden under layers of lies. I can’t do it. I release my hold on his arms and let myself fall on his body. My head lands on the side of him.

                “I’m sorry... Lu Han” I whisper. It’s the first time I’ve ever said his name out loud. It feels heavenly.

                He doesn’t move. I lay on him like a bed, sharing body heat, keeping me warm. I bury myself in his neck. Tears well up in my eyes. I cry. Harder than I ever have. Hick-uping like a repeater. All I do is lie there, crying. I don’t even know what these tears mean. I cry into his neck. His skin is moist with my salt. The only noises in the room are my sobs. I feel hands slowly rub my back. He’s trying to comfort me. Why? I was the one who’s in the wrong. He’s the one that should be crying. I feel even more ashamed. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t move. And we stay there, lying on each other on the couch, keeping each other warm. Me, crying, him, comforting. A self-sustaining system.

            He hums a tune.

            His voice is like an angels cry.

            It’s beautiful.

Calming.

I don’t know what song it is, but it doesn’t matter because it’s melodic.

But most of all, it’s his voice.

Lu Han’s voice

____________________________________________

Another chapter! I was really encouraged by all the comments i recieved. Thank you. Every single one of you. I really do mean it. Special kudos to all my old and new subscribers, with special mention to emiChi for the super-duper long comment filled with lovable words. I love you, all!. I will respond to each and every one of you personally on your walls. But not now. It's late. And tomorrow's a school day. 

Some notes worth mentioning

*Yes, that does mean Kai felt a little aroused with the whole hand-on-his-thigh thing. I wonder if he was in real-life. hehehe.

I get the feeling my story is going to be rated M for mature soon. I feel some heavy ual references coming on. I actually had to hold back.

I don't really know when i'll be able to update again. It won't be as frequent as it was this week. Exams are coming up and i really need to prepare for them. School .

Comment, and subscribe if you already havent. Thank you!

Criticisim and feedback will be welcomed with Lu Han's hum and Kai's tears.

PS. i hope you guys notice how i stopped using Italics for their names at the end of this chapter.  :) It's meant to mark something... significant.