‘Love hurts just as it is unpredictable and enjoyable’

Baekhyun opened his eyes to see big brown ones staring down at him, a smile spread on the person's face. "Chanyeol?" he croaked?

The individual nodded still smiling until his features turned into a frown of worry, Baekhyun didn't like that look on him he wanted the males smile back it made him feel secure and after the dream he had Baekhyun needed it. 

"Yes, Baekkie" Chanyeol said and Baekhyun’s chest felt light at the familiar nickname. "Are you feeling alright, it was so sudden. You out and I barely got to you before you hit the ground" Chanyeol informed. 

The taller rested a big hand on his forehead as if feeling for a fever, Baekhyun basked in the warmth. He wanted to hold Chanyeol's hand, he thought that his would fit perfectly between the males but suddenly his dream from the airport erupted in his mind at seeing Chanyeol holding some other males hand and a bitter jealousy evoked in him. 

"Is he alright?" a voice drifted into Baekhyun's ear, unfamiliar, deep but not smooth and husky like Chanyeol's, it was more rugged; Baekhyun didn't like it. 

"He should be, the doctor said it was just a panic attack, which is odd because he's never had one before" Kyungsoo's voice drifted over him. 

Baekhyun tried to sit up and with help from someone he was able to. He looked around the room, they were obviously in Chanyeol's bedroom. The familiar blue painted walls and black furniture. Sehun and Jongdae stood at the foot of the bed and Kyungsoo was to Baekhyun’s right. The smaller looked to his left to see a fluffy Chanyeol in a black sweater and cap looking back at him with shining eyes but when his eyes glanced beside the taller, the male from his nightmare stood there looming over him, his arms crossed. His face was neutral as he looked at Baekhyun who felt a kind of chill run down his spine at the males burning gaze; Baekhyun turned away. 

"Baekkie, I missed you so much!" Chanyeol exclaimed throwing himself at the smaller and engulfing  him in his arms. Baekhyun let out a chuckle at his best friends eccentrics. 

"I missed you a lot too, Yeol" he hugged the male back, smelling his scent of lavender and something spicy. Baekhyun buried his face in the soft fabric of Chanyeol sweater, he felt the taller do the same and the heart Baekhyun thought had shattered leaped in his chest despite that the nightmare seemed to be real. 

The older felt Chanyeol pull back and saw that the Kris guy had a hand on his shoulder. "Chan, you said we would go out to eat," he stated. 

Baekhyun frowned, his best friend just got back and him and the others were looking forward to spending the evening catching up over junk food. "I thought you were going to eat with us? We have a lot to catch up on" Baekhyun said. 

The smaller felt eyes on him and peered at Kris who showed no emotion on his face yet Baekhyun could tell he was displeased, it was the eyes; they burned. What was wrong with this guy? Where did Chanyeol find him? 

"Yeah, Yeol. It's been months, you can't just ditch us after we waited so long" Jongdae said before winking discreetly at Baekhyun who smiled a little. 

"I didn't sneak out my bedroom window from my moms watchful eye to be skipped out on" Sehun interjected and Kyungsoo just nodded. 

Chanyeol laughed "Why would I ditch you guys? I missed you too much. Babe we can have dinner with everyone and have a big catch up party" the taller clapped enthusiastically. Baekhyun felt himself stiffen at the endearment and watched as Kris nodded, the smaller felt like he was slowly getting consumed by dread. 

They ordered pizza and Chinese and had soda while they sat at the table chatting away about everything that happened. Baekhyun found himself mesmerized by Chanyeol like always but the male seemed brighter, happier and although Baekhyun was thrilled that Chanyeol was so lively he felt a bit sad knowing that he wasn't the cause of it. His eyes then ran to Kris like a gravitational pull that hadn’t seemed to let up since the male was introduced.

Baekhyun watched the rugged looking male converse sparingly with everyone yet he wasn't rude or disrespectful, he just seemed like a man of few words and it got Baekhyun wondering how a guy like him even became Chanyeol's boyfriend? 

The others seemed to be okay with him but Baekhyun couldn't shake that something felt off about the dude, he continued to observe while Chanyeol talked animatedly and Kris listened attentively smiling at the taller before he suddenly leaned over and kissed Chanyeol on the cheek. Baekhyun felt a heavy weight on his chest as he watched Chanyeol's face turn red and he hit Kris in embarrassment.

He was about to leave the room when Baekhyun noticed the envelope with the heart sticker sitting on a side table near him. He stared at it for a while pondering if it was still worth giving before thinking better of it, knowing how happy Chanyeol looked while he was in the presence of Kris, Baekhyun shook his head; it would just end in rejection.

Why had he thought of doing the letter in the first place? It was like a bad omen waiting to happen. Baekhyun wanted to be happy for his friend, he really did, there was nothing in the world he loved more than Chanyeol’s smile but Baekhyun just couldn't feel the same excitement his friend did but despite that the older mustered up enough energy to fake it, Baekhyun didn't want Chanyeol to see that he was upset.

The smaller suddenly felt a hand on his back and looked over at Kyungsoo who continued to eat as if he wasn’t rubbing comforting circles on Baekhyun’s back. That was just Kyungsoo, a rock that had no qualms with holding you up and getting nothing in return because he knows how much you need the support. 
 

It turned out that Kris was the son of Chanyeol's aunts friend that had came around to help often and Chanyeol befriended him, coincidently his mom was transferring him to a school in Seoul to live with his father because his mother traveled around a lot for work. Baekhyun didn't mind baring the fact that Chanyeol couldn't be his if he didn't have to constantly see the person his best friend was with but now that they were going to be attending the same school, Baekhyun didn't know how he was going to do it; how many times could his heart be broken?

Everyone stayed for a few more hours before deciding to leave because it was getting late and they all had school tomorrow. Baekhyun left with Kyungsoo, it was quiet as they walked to the bus stop. Baekhyun stared at his feet whilst his thoughts wandered to Chanyeol and all that happened today; it definitely wasn't how he had imagined his best friend’s return.

"Don't think about it too much" he heard Kyungsoo say. "None of us could've known this would happen" the male stated. 

"I just don't know if I can be happy for him" Baekhyun sighed. 

"That's natural, Baekhyun. You’re in love with him, it's only understandable how your feeling right now but either way you should still tell him how you feel" Kyungsoo suggested. 

Baekhyun whipped his head toward his friend, "what!?" he exclaimed. "Soo, how can I do that? It would be selfish and inconvenient for Chanyeol. I don't want our friendship to be ruined". 

The smaller felt so conflicted, how did things turn out like this? Why couldn't he have just confessed years ago when he knew of his feelings? "It would be selfish" Kyungsoo said "but if Chanyeol notices you can't be happy for him, he'd be devastated and miserable. Your word means the most to him". 

Baekhyun knew that, it was the same for him. Anything Chanyeol said Baekhyun took into account without a second thought and vice versa. Maybe they just weren't meant to be in relationship, their friendship was just too special for anything to come between them and Baekhyun wouldn't want that. Confessing would only heighten the chance of things turning south. 

"I'll try to be happy for him" Baekhyun said as the bus rolled up in the distance "as long as he's happy that’s enough for me, it's always been". 

-----------------

The talk of the school that morning was of course, the transfer student. Many girls thought Kris was hot and manly while the boys thought he was a gangster. Baekhyun paid no mind to anything as he rummaged through his locker but it felt strange while he stood there, something didn't feel right. He turned his head to look down the hall but only the typical group of friends chatted away, there was no loud shout of his name or a 6 foot giant running down the hall to meet him wanting to convey something new he had found or started doing. 

Baekhyun's brows furrowed at the quiet of it all until he smiled with relief and excitement as he saw Chanyeol turn the corner but Baekhyun's smile soon slipped when Kris came into view with his hand around Chanyeol's waist. They seemed to be talking before his best friend looked up and spotted Baekhyun, his signature grin came to his face and Baekhyun's heart swelled. The taller raised his hand in greeting and it looked as if Chanyeol was about to walk over to him when Kris glanced over, he was no longer smiling as he turned the both of them and walked Chanyeol down a different hall. 

Baekhyun's hand stopped midway in the air at the same time they disappeared and a frown came to his face before he sighed and shouldered his bag; slamming his locker door shut. His phone buzzed as he walked down the hall. 

Chanyeol: sorry, he wanted to walk me to class. I'll see you later during study hall.

Baekhyun managers a small smile. 

Baekhyun: okay, I'll see you later; no worries.
 

Baekhyun took a seat at the many tables in the back, and pulled out his calculus homework. He checked his phone but hasn't got a message from Chanyeol since this morning which was odd because they usually texted a lot throughout the day. 

Baekhyun started on his homework while he waited for Chanyeol, listening to music at the same time and quietly humming along. It wasn't until he did a full page of calculus that he checked the time. 11:30, it was almost lunch and still no Chanyeol, Baekhyun looked up from his table and towards the library doors but no one that looked like his friend entered. A few more minutes passed and Baekhyun sighed getting ready to pack up.

 Chanyeol normally would have texted if he wasn't coming, maybe he got caught up somewhere? Just then the doors to the library banged open to which the librarian shushed loudly, contradicting her purpose. Baekhyun looked over to see a disheveled Chanyeol come jogging over. 

"Sorry Baekhyun, I got caught up in the classroom" Chanyeol apologized out of breath as if he ran here. Baekhyun smiled a little knowing that he was in a rush to come see him.

"You could've just texted" Baekhyun started sitting back down and Chanyeol did the same, resting his bag on the floor and taking out his books. Even if it was a little late they still had some time. 

"Ah, yeah" Chanyeol said passively as he looked through his bag for something. That's when Baekhyun noticed the dark red mark on his neck and his stomach dropped at the same time he saw another near his collarbone that peeked from under his sweater. When Chanyeol sat back up Baekhyun examined him, noticing that his lips looked swollen; the smaller suddenly stood up. 

Chanyeol looked at him confused, big eyes opened with wonder as Baekhyun packed up. "Baekhyun?" Chanyeol questioned. 

"Sorry, I know you rushed over here but I just remembered that Kyungsoo asked me to help him with his costume for the upcoming show" Baekhyun lied while he stuffed things into his bag.

Chanyeol sat there looking stunned before he smiled softly. "Okay, next time. I promise I'll get here earlier than you" he laughed. Baekhyun managed the most fleeting of smiles before turning abruptly and walking for the exit all the while his heart crashed in his chest. 

The older refused to sit there with him knowing and seeing that he had been kissing Kris, Baekhyun knew he wouldn't be able to act normal enough to seem like he didn't care or notice. This was going to be harder than Baekhyun thought because In the span of 48 hours his heart has been broken at least three times. This wasn't healthy, it couldn't be; it didn't seem normal either. It wasn't until he slammed the door of a random janitors closet behind him that he let the tears flow. 

It went on like this for sometime; weeks to nearly a month. Chanyeol saying he would meet Baekhyun somewhere only to not show up or to arrive late. His friends has noticed the same thing as well; Sehun asked Chanyeol for help on his homework multiple times who had agreed only for Sehun to be waiting for hours at the library before he had to leave. 

Baekhyun listened to his friends question what was going on with Chanyeol. The smaller wanted to know as well, he hasn't hung out with his best friend in weeks yet he's seen him around school; either in class or with Kris but he never stopped by his locker anymore or texted so much as a hello, Baekhyun stabbed at his food wanting to know what was going on. 

"Hi guys" Baekhyun's head whipped up so fast he almost got whiplash. There stood Chanyeol holding a tray as if he didn't know what the thing was, he was looking down while he addressed them and Baekhyun immediately knew something was wrong. Chanyeol would normally come running and throw himself down on the bench, already chatting away. 

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun called, his eyes wide at his friends strange demeanor. 

Baekhyun saw Sehun get up with a frown on his face, "Where the hell have you been dude? None of us has seen you around in a while. You playing super hooky or something?" the male poked Chanyeol angrily. 

Baekhyun was watching Chanyeol intently, was this really his best friend? His hair has lost its straightness and now sat wild and messier than it used to be on top of his head. As Sehun poked the taller he saw the male wince slightly and step back. 

"You stood me up and have the nerve to show up here?" Sehun went on, all of them knowing he didn't mean it. 

Chanyeol finally looked up to smile and laugh, "I'm sorry Hunnie. Next time" Chanyeol said, something Baekhyun has heard multiple times whenever Baekhyun confronted the taller of not showing up or being late. 

The older males chest tightened at his friends state. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked thinner; it was like that time he found Chanyeol in the bathroom months ago and instantly Baekhyun was worried. Chanyeol didn't look well he look tired and worn and worst of all the smile he gave Sehun didn't meet his eyes and his laugh was dry not bright as it was known to be. Was this really his best friend? He asked himself again.

Chanyeol stayed standing by the table as if wanting to sit but not knowing how too. He looked over at Baekhyun whose chest squeezed at the dim eyes that stared back at him, no this wasn't his best friend; this wasn't the person he was in love with. 

"Baekkie" Chanyeol said softly and hearing his nickname made Baekhyun's chest melt. "Want to come over today?" he asked in a sort of whisper. 

The older looked into his best friends eyes and something pleading tumbled inside them, something that made Baekhyun's heart ache so much it was like someone was taking a hammer to beat at his heart multiple times. 

"Sure" he said just as a thick hand clamped onto Chanyeol's shoulder who Baekhyun noticed jumped slightly at the touch. Kris stood beside the giant and smiled sweetly, "babe come on, you said you would help me with my work" he stated before turning to the table. "Sorry, I just really at science and Chan here is great at it, I'll be stealing him for a bit". 

Baekhyun watched while Kris pushed Chanyeol to turn around toward walk the cafeteria’s exit. You've been stealing him since you got here, Baekhyun thought bitterly. Something wasn't right; that wasn't Chanyeol at all there was not a single light emanating from the taller, what happened?

"Something is definitely wrong" Kyungsoo voiced and they all silently agreed. Baekhyun will go to Chanyeol's house after school and talk to him, he's been very bad friend in that regard. He's been so caught up in the fact that he can't bare the sight of seeing the one he loved with another guy and the fact that Chanyeol kept blowing him off that he never really sought out Chanyeol himself since he got back.