Yixing’s POV

“Taemin is at the door again,” Kris yells from the other side of my bedroom door. Obviously annoyed that our cousin is insisting on checking in on us once again this week.
“He’s probably here for Jongin, go harass him,” I snap back.
“He asked for you.”
“Tell him to off.”
“I’m not your ing messenger,” my older brother snarls in return before stomping down the hall to his room. I force myself out of bed and out of my room for the first time all week. Taemin is waiting at the bass of the stairs, looking as impatient as ever. At the sight of me he perks up and grins from ear to ear.
“You’re coming?” He exclaims.
I roll my eyes, of course he told Kris what he wanted, “Where am I supposed to be going?”
“To the club. Haneul has a present for all of you guys but I’ve only been able to convince Baekhyun to go. The others won’t even come out of their rooms to talk to me.”
“That’s because we don’t want to talk to you. Leave Taemin, I don’t want to see whatever Haneul wants to give me. She has done enough for us,” I snap back half way down the stairs. I turn on my heel and begin heading back up, only stopping when I hear him tapping up the stairs behind me.
“You don’t need to be such a to her. She did what she thought was best for Jooyoung and apparently Jooyoung thought it was best for herself too.”
I narrow my eyes on him, his mouth snaps shut, “You don’t deserve to talk about her.”
“Fine, let’s talk about you! Please just get dressed and come along, you won’t regret it.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
He snaps, “Can you just stop being such a pitiful piece of for two minutes? Jooyoung left you, Haneul did not make her leave so if you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at Joo even though she had the right to leave because no one should be trapped in a relationship. You of all people know what it’s like to see such a strong person be forced into crazy ,” When he is done yelling he takes a few steps down the stairs to get some space and to take a few deep breaths. I watch him get himself together before looking back up at me, there is still fire in his eyes but it’s controlled, much different from the man I used to know.
“You’ve gotten much better about your anger,” I point out.
“I didn’t have much of an option. After I started dating Haneul I had to get my together. She had enough ty people in her life, I wasn’t going to add to that list. You know her better than I probably ever will, she needs someone with patience and I sure as hell didn’t have any before so I had to work on myself.” His tone softens to one I’ve never heard from him, “Look, I get you miss her, she was a little spit fire. This gift Haneul has for you guys will give you a little peace. She had to ask a big favor and you know how much she hates asking for those.”
I groan, feeling more guilty than any right now, “ing fine, I’ll go, but only for an hour.”
He does a little dance, “Great! Now go get dressed.” I shuffle up the stairs, bumping into Baekhyun in the process seeing him for the first time in weeks. He’s thinner, cheeks caving in, eyes sunken in more than I’ve ever seen. My younger brother looks away and continues his descent into the entry way with Taemin. I try not too think about it too much, how we all continue to live together but never see one another, nor do we want to.
I find some dress pants and a button up in my closet, throw them on without much thought before heading back down. Taemin is talking off Baekhyun’s ear but my usually chatty brother just stands there staring off into the distance. The small group of us head out the door and climb into Taemin’s car. Our cousin turns on the radio and plays it at a low volume so he can continue to run is mouth, even though both of us our obviously not interested or even listening. I’m in my head too much, as usual. I haven’t been dealing with people much and now to head into a club with smoke and music and lots of people, I’m already regretting agreeing to come along. But this gift Haneul has, it would be a lie to say I wasn’t interested to know what could have forced Haneul to ask for a favor. Everyone owes her something, it’s the rarest occasions when something is not easily obtainable for uncrowned queen of the underworld.
The car stops, we are finally here, but Taemin has pulled up to the backdoor, “Haneul wants to keep this stuff under wraps. For both of your sakes of course.”
“Of course,” I hum as I climb out of the car, Baekhyun is quiet behind me. 
I can hear some bump and grind music from the outside, there are a few girls outside enjoying their smoke breaks, chatting mindlessly amongst themselves. They give Taemin a slight bow and us quick overview before continuing with their conversations. Inside there are more girls, each is scantily clad in leather, velvet, or satin, all beautiful but I don’t give a signal one another glance. Baekhyun keeps his head down as we pass through maze of halls until we end up in front of a white metal door with Master Suite scrawled across it. Taemin knocks twice.
We wait for a minute before Haneul slips out, making sure we can’t even get a peek into the room. She looks each of us over, smiling slightly at the sight of me, “You actually came.”
I shrug, “Taemin was very persistent.”
“Thank you love,” She hums to her partner, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.
“Of course,” He blushes under her attention, “I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll be in the office when you are ready to go.” With that, our cousin leaves. We both look to Haneul, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“I would like to thank both of you for coming tonight,” She starts off, as confident as ever. “I was able to get a friend to do this for me, so before we go in I’m going to give you a few base rules on her behalf.”
I roll my eyes, “I don’t want to one of your .”
“First off,” There is a sharpness in her tone that I never get to hear directed at me, “do not call my girls , they do a damn good job, and make your organization a large amount of money so you will speak about them respectfully.  Secondly, she is not one of my girls, she’s a dear friend that doesn’t deserve your . Thirdly, rule number one is that there will be absolutely no ing her, understand?”
We nod.
“Good. Rule two, nothing under the clothes, you are allowed to hug, snuggle, and if you feel the need to, kiss her forehead, that’s it. Rule three, this is just a one time thing, anything after this is going to be between the three of you.”
Again we nod.
“You can leave your shoes here.”
We obey and kick off our nice shoes neatly against the wall.
She takes a deep breath as she opens the door to the large, all red suite. We take the three steps down into the room, I feel the warmth through my socks from the heated dark wood floors, my eyes scan over the dark red walls and large California king bed along the far wall. Haneul continues her way to the bed and climbs in, there is someone laying in the bed, to small to be seen amongst the pillows and thick red comforter. The Latino woman stares down at the other person with such adoration I wonder who this person must be to her. I walk closer to the bed, curious who will be keeping us company tonight, expecting to find some beautiful model posing ually for me but that’s not what I find. 
She looks just like our baby.
From the bleached blonde curls to the naturally sun kissed skin. I take two large steps closer, forcing myself to look for the differences, she is not Jooyoung. Haneul is brushing her hair out of her face, her eyes are closed, she is asleep. A sweet round face is what I find, she looks younger than Jooyoung, her eyes aren’t angled, she’s not part Asian either. Tucked under the covers I can’t tell what her body looks like but from the single arm untucked I can assume she isn’t as slim as our baby either. But still, the resemblance is there and it makes my heart stutter. All I can do is stare at the pretty little doll.
My brother’s reaction is less calm than my own, he rushes forward to the other side of the bed to see the girl up close, “Oh sweet baby,” He rambles off a few more sweet pet names to the sleeping girl. Haneul moves out of the way to allow Baekhyun to hang over her and get a good look at the pretty little thing. He her hair like Haneul had, still mumbling things under his breath as he goes in and places a few kisses on her forehead.
“Why is she asleep?” I wonder, wanting to see her open her eyes, curious if they match the same golden green as our baby.
“This was easier for her. We have similar pasts so I’m sure you understand why.”
I nod.
“I’m going to go. You have until the morning, stare at her, snuggle, sleep to your hearts content, just nothing ual. I’ll be watching,” She gestures to the camera pointing directly at the bed. “I hope you are able to rest well.”
When we are alone I loose any sense of pride and join my brother on the bed, he is still hanging over her, just staring at her now, tears in his eyes. I sit on her other side, joining him in his staring. 
“She’s so beautiful,” Baekhyun tells the room. It’s the first time I’ve heard my brother speak in a long time. His voice isn’t how it used to sound, it sounds rough and unused. He tucks his face into the cook of the girl’s neck, curling around her like a child.
Part of me tells me that he needs this more than I do, that I should leave and give him the time he needs but I don’t. I nudge my brother to the side, he begrudgingly lets me have a moment with her myself. I cup her cheeks, enjoying the feeling of her smooth skin beneath my fingers, Baekhyun is right, she is beautiful, even if she isn’t our baby. 
“I want to hold her,” I tell him.
He frowns, “I do too.”
There is only two of us, we’ve both shared a bed with our baby and a brother, this was one of our easier things to figure out. We both climbed out of bed and found two pairs of silk pajamas on a nearby on a chair. Once dressed in more comfortable clothing we get on either side of her under the covers, maneuvering her onto her side to allow myself to curl up behind her and Baekhyun to curl towards her front and bury his face in her neck. 
For the first time in months I am able to take a deep breath and feel some kind of relief when I let it out. She doesn’t smell like our baby but that okay. Her docile appearance is more than enough for now. I don’t know how long we laid like that, I dozed in and out but I could not fully rest, afraid I could wake up and this would all be a dream. I think Baekhyun does the same, he would be still for long moments then suddenly thrash for another moment before calming down and moving closer to the girl in between us, though there isn’t much space to begin with.
“I’m not her,” A weak voice rings out.
My brother and I both tense, leaning up onto our forearms to stare down at the girl, but her eyes are closed. We share a look.
She moves her head to look up at us, her eyelids flutter open to reveal flat green eyes, circle lenses I quickly realize from our closeness. “ I’m not her,” She says again in a stronger voice. 
Neither of us are sure what to say. 
“You can lay here for a little bit longer though,” Her voice isn’t like Jooyoung’s. Korean rolls off her tongue with a slight accent from someplace much different than here. She closes her eyes with a sigh, “I know how you feel. I had someone leave me and as much as it hurt, all I wanted was for him to come back and give me a hug. I’m not her but if a hug can make you feel a little better, I can do that.”
Baekhyun goes back to his place in the crook of her neck, holding her a little bit tighter than before. She lays an arm around him. I lay down a moment after, holding her gently, fully expecting her to get up and leave at any moment but she doesn’t. She starts humming. It’s a faint unfamiliar song that reminds me of a mother singing to children. Though she could be doing it to comfort herself more than us.
I’m not sure.
I eventually fall asleep and sleep deeply for the first time in months. This girl’s presence has given me more comfort than I thought I could have with anyone other than my baby. I won’t be letting this girl go anytime soon, I reach for her. All I find is similar silk pajamas. Opening my eyes I find my brother sleeping deeply, grasping a pillow in his arms instead of our girl. My eyes scan over the room in search for her, but the room is empty. 
She’s gone. 

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