Kyuhyun sighs as his five-year-old daughter skips around his feet as he attempts to walk to the elevator to go back to the apartment. All morning, she had had Kyuhyun going back and forth to check the mail, anticipating a birthday card from a certain someone. This time he’s returning to the apartment with mail in his hand.

“Card from Donghae Oppa?” Kyuhyun frowns and presses the elevator button. He mentally reminds himself to tell Donghae to stop encouraging Sunkyu’s baby crush on him by sneaking candy to her when he thinks Kyuhyun isn’t looking.

“Hold on, baby. Let’s wait until we’re back before we look.” Sunkyu whines and stomps her feet. “You should know that doesn’t work anymore. That act stopped working when you were potty trained.” She sticks her tongue out at him and stubbornly crosses his arms. “Just like me,” he mumbles under his breath.

The ride to the fourth floor is short, but by that time Sunkyu is over her small tantrum and skips out the elevator. “Card from Oppa?”

He fights the urge to tell her ‘no’ to put a quick end to her crush, but he decides to wait until it’s not her birthday to and hands Donghae’s card to her. The girl squeals and rips over the envelope, pulling out the colorful birthday card. Kyuhyun watches as her expression goes from excitement to confusion as she looks at the words on the front. Cutely, she looks up at him and holds the card out to him. “Read it?” 

“Okay, I will,” he laughs. Just give me a little time to sort through the rest of the mail.” Sunkyu obediently nods and opens the door to their apartment.

The rest of the mail, as he suspects, are bills except for a larger envelope, card sized, that has no return address. Though it’s been years since he’d been around Siwon, he immediately recognizes the handwriting. The card is addressed to Sunkyu at the other apartment, which Kyuhyun promptly moved out of because it held too many memories. A forward sticker, partially covering Sunkyu’s name, displays his new address not too far from work.

His heart involuntarily skips a beat. This marks the first time he’s heard any information pertaining the man since he had made headline news by resigning as president of Prime Electronics. At that time, Kyuhyun had been close to quitting his job in order to avoid an awkward work situation but didn’t have the need to after the news broke. When he thinks back on it, he’s glad he didn’t because just a few months ago he had earned a promotion. The pay was good, not enough to buy a mansion of course, but it helped him buy the larger 2-bedroom apartment his family lives in.

He hands Donghae’s card to Sunkyu, telling her to go ask Sungmin to read it to her. She complies and runs off to the master bedroom while Kyuhyun opens the card from Siwon and reads over it.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful Sunny! I know you probably don’t remember me, but I think of you everyday. I’m sorry I can't be there with you as you open this card, but maybe one day I’ll be able to meet you again face to face. Be a good girl for your eomma and appa, okay? I wish you a happy and healthy birthday. -Love, Shi-Appa.

Kyuhyun scoffs and throws the card in the trash. It had taken his daughter months to forget Siwon. Months filled with crying and pleading to let her see her Shi-Appa. They were good without him. Not better off, but they were doing okay.

The aforementioned girl reenters the room, complaining that Sungmin was feeding Junghwan and wouldn’t read to her.

“Honey, you know that your brother is just a baby and needs to be feed by your eomma. I’ll read it for you when we open the presents, okay?” Sunkyu pouts but doesn’t argue.

There’s no doubt in his mind that she subconsciously learned her self-control from Siwon.

A few hours later, they all load the car, preparing for a trip to a petting zoo in Goyang. Sunkyu had seen a commercial for it in the middle of one of her cartoons a few weeks before and pestered her parents until they promised to take her on her birthday. Junghwan is slightly fussy and fidgety as Sungmin straps him into his car seat. The five-month-old infant was none too please that he had been separated from the mobile above his crib to go on a long car ride. Sungmin coos to the upset baby and slips a set of baby keys into his hand to keep him docile.

Life with Sungmin was… okay. The spark he felt the first time he dated her or with Siwon wasn’t there, but he could deal with that. When they first got back together, Sungmin was very aware that Kyuhyun was simply rebounding back to her. Both of them held the hope that Kyuhyun would eventually fall back in love with her after some time. He had lost all that hope the day Junghwan was born. Yes, he felt undying love for the infant he held in his arms but nothing close for the mother.

To others their relationship seemed very stable; to Kyuhyun it was boring. They hardly fought, except for the huge fight they had when Sungmin made a comment about Siwon after he resigned. He had slapped her out of anger, and she spent the rest of the night crying. They never talked about it. Acquaintances, not aware of everything that happened, always ask when the two would marry. Sungmin always smiles and says that marriage is just a piece of paper, which their love transcends. In reality, Sungmin has begged him on several occasions to marry her. And while he’s willing to stay in a loveless bond, he’s not willing to legally officiate it.

In her defense, Sungmin is a good mother to their children. She’s always volunteering to put Sunkyu to bed, and she’s been working hard to improve her cooking skills to keep them all from eating ramen every night. She would do anything to make the kids happy. But she wouldn’t let go of Kyuhyun for anything. He hadn’t been able to return her declaration of love, and when she asked why he wouldn’t, he straight-out confessed that he wasn’t in love with her. Even knowing this, she still clung to him. The fact that Kyuhyun has promised never to cheat again is an advantage for her, she believes. If she holds on long enough, she‘s confident that he’ll come to love her back.

The ride is quiet and uneventful (except for when Sunkyu’s excitement gets the best of her and she screams ‘PETTING ZOOOOOO!’ which upsets Junghwan to the point where they have to pull over to calm him down), and they reach the Goyang Petting Zoo in under an hour. Kyuhyun volunteers to wear the sling and carry the baby while Sungmin takes Sunkyu’s hand to take her around. When Junghwan screams at the sight of a goat, Kyuhyun decides it’s best if the two get away from the animals and sit at a bench area where an employee is reading a book.

He sets the baby down on the bench next to him and pokes his tummy. The very ticklish infant starts to giggle and flail as his father works to cheer him up.

“He sounds like a very happy baby.” Kyuhyun freezes.

How many times has he heard that voice telling him sweet words of love? Or heard the serious tone when Sunkyu had been in the middle of a tantrum? No amount of time could ever erase that voice from his memories.

“Siwon…” he breathes out. “What are you doing here?”

The man flashes his dimpled smiled and points to his nametag. “I work here. After I resigned I took a few months to try out new things and discovered I really like working with animals and kids. So, working here has been the best of both worlds.” Kyuhyun is a loss of words but nods to show that he’s listening. “How’s your life these days?”

“I’m okay… I’m with Sungmin. And, ah, we had another baby.”

Siwon nods, honestly interested in how his ex-boyfriend is doing. “Are you married yet? It seems everything’s going well if you decided to have another child.”

It pains Kyuhyun to see how calm Siwon is about meeting again. How could he talk so casually when Kyuhyun felt like throwing up?

“Um, no we’re not. I. I’m not ready for that.” 

The older man nods thoughtfully. “For a while I was afraid that you wouldn’t move on, but seeing you now, I’m relieved that letting you go was the right thing. You are happy, right?”

There are so many things Kyuhyun wants to say. He wants to tell Siwon that no, he isn’t very happy. Yes, he loves his kids and lives to make them happy, but the love he had for Siwon can never be how he feels for Sungmin. He wants to cry and cling to the man, telling him that he was stupid for leaving. He wants to tell the truth to the man that he just can’t stop loving. But instead he returns Junghwan to the sling and stands up, bowing slightly to his former lover.

“Yes, Hyung, I’m happy.” Siwon seems satisfied with the answer.

As he walks away, back to Sungmin, back to his monotonous routine, he thinks that maybe if he says it enough, he’ll believe it too.