A week and a half after the confession, Kyuhyun finds an envelope of pictures on the living room table, which he knows wasn’t there before he went to sleep. After a quick glance at the first picture, he realizes that they’re from Sunkyu’s birthday party and were all taken by Siwon.
 

Ah, he still has that extra key.
 

Sunkyu whines from the other room, calling out for her father like a broken record (“Appa! Appa! Appa!”). He gets to his bedroom just in time to see Sunkyu attempting to climb out of her crib, oblivious that the fall could hurt her. Kyuhyun chuckles to himself and holds his daughter in his arms before she can succeed. The infant whines and struggles briefly (“Ani, Appa!”) before stopping to pout.
 

The familiar pout has the young father’s expression falling slightly before he grins and kisses her cheek. “Let’s look at your birthday pictures, okay?” Her lips are still set in a pout, but the girl nods and clings to her father’s shirt. 
 

He kneels down in front of the living room table and sets down Sunkyu who toddles around, holding onto the table for support. Looking through the pictures, he can’t help but smile at how happy Sunkyu looks and even how happy he looks in the candid photos of him. When Sunkyu grows bored of toddling around, she crawls to Kyuhyun and reaches out for the pictures. He smiles and hands her a picture of himself and asks who she sees.
 

“Appa!” she squeals and goes to put the picture in . Kyuhyun quickly removes the object from her hands before she can drool on it and hands her a shot of her eating her birthday cupcake.
 

“Who is that, sweetie?”
 

She thinks for a few seconds before looking up and tilting her head in a very familiar way. “Sunny?” He hums in agreement and kisses the top of her head, adoring the fact that she can barely pronounce her own name. 
 

The 3rd photo he hands her is a selca of her and Siwon. A few weeks before the love confession, she had pointed to Siwon and confidently called him ‘Eomma’. His eyes widen and Siwon’s eyebrows comically arched up in surprise. Kyuhyun quickly corrects her and has been trying to teach her to say the older man’s name. So far the closest she’s gotten is ‘Shi-wa’.
 

Again, Sunkyu needs a few seconds to think of the few words in her vocabulary.
 

“Shi-appa.”
 

He wasn’t prepared for that.

This isn’t the first time Sungmin’s ever been propositioned at work, but this is the first time she does consider it from the huge tip left on the bar. The man winks at her and tells her that he’ll be back the same time next week if she changes her mind.
 

She smiles sweetly while pocketing the money, thinking about how she could easily pay for her phone with the bills in her pocket.

Siwon watches the young man pace back and forth in front of him. He’s not sure why Kyuhyun invited himself into his apartment so early in the morning, but of course he couldn’t refuse him. Kyuhyun rubs the back of his neck apprehensively and looks at Siwon out the corner of his eye.
 

“Okay, before we start talking, I just wanted to say that I’m not gay. I’m not gay, but I don’t have a problem with anyone who is. That’s not to say that I’ll immediately accept a man who has feelings for me. I’m not saying just you, but y’know, any man who confesses. So, um, why exactly do you like me?”
 

The dimpled-man blinks, trying to process the rapid speech into something tangible. “Well… as you know, I always go to the café in the morning to get my coffee, and I think that’s where I started to like you. You were always so happy, and when you handed me my drink you always a smile that was so genuine. On some days when I had time, I would just sit and watch you work… you interacted with everyone in that same happy way, and I could tell you were a good person. I know I hardly spoke a word to you, but I already had a crush.”
 

Kyuhyun blushes and awkwardly sits on the floor where he stands.
 

“Then,” he continues, “You didn’t show up to work for a couple of days and that’s when they told me your girlfriend was having a baby. Of course, I was disappointed because even though I didn’t ever expect you to have an interest in me, it appeared to me that your whole life was set and there wouldn’t be room for me.” At this point in his story, his eyes dart around the room nervously. “Ah, so when I moved in, I was… surprised to see that you lived next door, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to become just a friend. But I found how about everything and just a part of me thought that I had a slim chance. I knew that was horrible considering your circumstances, but crushes are unreasonable. Anyway, the more I got to know you, the more I liked you for your snarky but caring personality. I realized I loved you when you were deciding whether or not to put Sunkyu in daycare. You were so worried that she was so young, but you thought it would be good for her. I remember you turning to me and honestly asking my opinion. You included me in a life decision of a little girl I’ve come to love and you have no idea how happy that made me. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I felt that hiding it would be just like lying to you.”
 

“She called you ‘Shi-appa’.”
 

“What?”
 

“Sunkyu… My Sunny. Yesterday, I showed her a picture of you and she clearly said ‘Shi-appa’. So, I’m not entirely sure what role I want you to play in my life, but my daughter considers you her parent. I know I’ve been avoiding you a little bit, but I think we could get back in the regular pattern of things because Sunkyu needs you. I do believe you love her, and I know you wouldn’t leave her. And, um, I have a request.”
 

Siwon nods. “Anything.”
 

“You can reject me completely because this is kind of playing with your emotions. I’m not gay, but I was wondering if we could try a sort of… trial relationship. Again, I’m not gay, but I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be with you. I can’t emphasis how not gay I am.”
 

“Let me get what you’re saying…” he starts slowly, “You want to date me, but only for a predetermined amount of time. What do the terms of this relationship constitute?”
 

Kyuhyun suddenly feels like a character in a drama, drawing up a contract that usually carries the plot. “What I’m comfortable with? I’m already used to you hugging me and putting your arm around me. We could work up from that if I’m comfortable…. I’m n-“
 

“Yes, yes, you’re not gay. I know. But if you’re up to this, I’ll do anything you want.” At some point during the conversation, Kyuhyun has migrated from the floor to the seat beside his trial-boyfriend. Siwon places his hand on the younger’s knee, who stares at it for a few silent moments before covering the suntanned hand with his own.

A roll of bills is pushed back across the bar as Sungmin rejects the monetary offer from the same man who paid her phone bill the previous week.
 

“You don’t have to pay me for ; I’m not a e.”
 

The man scans Sungmin over the rim of his glass and downs what little is left. “Does this mean I’ll have some company tonight?”
 

Sungmin didn’t verbally reply, but she did brush her fingers over the man’s arm.
 

Ten minutes after the end of her shift, she finds herself in the parking lot in the car of a man whose name she couldn’t recall (did he tell her?). One of his arms is tucked under his head as he leans back in his seat. The other arm is resting across his slim midsection as Sungmin smirks up at him from his lap. His hand pushes her head down impatiently, wanting her to get to what he was promised. Teasingly, she s his jeans, rubbing the strip of skin above his waistband. He shifts in his seat, letting Sungmin know just how sensitive his skin is at the moment. 
 

After she s the man’s jeans, she freezes, staring at the cotton separating her from his obvious half-hard . Seeing her hesitation, the man reaches down and frees himself from his underwear. Sungmin is taken aback and starts to pull back but is stopped by his other hand gently massaging her scalp. “Come on, baby,” he soothes. Slowly, she lowers and extends out her tongue to the pulsing organ from base to tip. It’s been a while, she thinks as she takes the head of his . She withdraws and spits on his length as a makeshift lube to make things flow easier. As is filled again, she wraps her hand around what she can’t fit in . Moans come from the man below her mixed in with a jumble of broken Korean and another language (Chinese, maybe?).
 

She spends up her actions when she can faintly taste the precum on her tongue. Her tongue dips into the small hole on the man’s tip, and he tightens his grip on her long blonde hair. Sungmin sits up but doesn’t move the hand working over the man’s hard member. Her other hand draws invisible patterns just below his belly button, the spot sensitive enough to make him release, his warm seem splattering across the steering wheel and Sungmin’s hand.
 

In the aftermath of his , the Chinese man pulls Sungmin down next to him and kisses her neck, muttering words in his native tongue. He can’t see the expression of horror on the blonde’s face as she realizes what she’s just done. “Thank you. Is there something I can do for you? I know you’re not a e, but I know there has to be a reason you’re working at a bar of all places.”
 

Sungmin shakes her head and sits up. Unconsciously, her fingers twirl a lock of hair. During her 3rd year of college, she bleached her hair and did so regularly up until her pregnancy. After she left, she’d gone back to the usual hairstyle but she always felt that her hair held too many memories of her former life. She wants something different in her life, something to mark that’s no longer the girl she was in college.
 

“If you insist, could you buy me a box of hair dye?”

Three months into their ‘trial-relationship’, the two men haven’t progressed very much. Kyuhyun enjoys the structure Siwon gives the family, in contrast to the single-parenthood he has grown accustomed to. Despite his protests, Siwon keeps providing most of Sunkyu’s necessities and a few unnecessary gifts. On several occasions, Kyuhyun has complained that he works for a reason and that Siwon shouldn’t worry about buying baby clothes, diapers, and formula. Siwon just smiles and tells his young boyfriend that it’s natural for a father to provide for his child.
 

Kyuhyun knows he’s being unfair, knows that unrequited love can be painful, but over the 3 months, he hasn’t been able to engage in any other intimate acts besides the casual skinship they started a few weeks after they met.
 

At work he brings up the topic to his co-worker, Donghae, who’s accepting of the ‘relationship’ his friend’s in. Donghae, like Siwon, doesn’t see anything wrong with a guy helping his boyfriend out. Kyuhyun figures that if he made a little bit more money, Siwon would see that he was financially stable enough. Besides, it’s not like he had to pay rent, Sungmin still sent money each month.
 

“Maybe if I explain my situation, the boss will give me a bit of a raise. I really hate depending on my boyfriend to get stuff for my daughter.” Donghae snickers. “What?”
 

“You called him your boyfriend.” Kyuhyun shoots his friend a look and rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I heard the boss is meeting with the president today about local expansion. He might be stressed out; I wouldn’t ask today.”
 

“Then I’ll relax him.” Donghae begins to giggle again. “Not like that! I’ll just get him a nice hot cup of coffee.” On his way to brew more coffee, he thumps his co-worker on the back of the head as he lets his immature mind get carried away again. The coffee’s almost done brewing when Kyuhyun hears the door to his boss’s office open. Quickly, he pours the steaming coffee into a Styrofoam cup and turns to deliver it.
 

He comes face to face with Siwon.
 

“Why are you here?” Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow at his boyfriend, wondering if he’s taken the stalking approach to his love. He looks up and down at him. “And why are you dressed so nice?”
 

The boss looks flustered and bows in apologize to Siwon. “Cho Kyuhyun! That’s no way to speak to the president of the company. Get back to your desk.”
 

“President…?” Kyuhyun looks up at Siwon, looking for a sign that the notion is as ridiculous as he thinks it is. He receives no verbal reply to the question, but he does look away guiltily.
 

“I thought today was your day off,” he says quietly.
 

Kyuhyun glues his eyes to the ground. “I picked up more days so I can support Sunny on my own.” Suddenly, a thought dawns upon him and his head shoots up. His eyes are angry and he looks ready to lash out. “You’re the one who got me this job, aren’t you? I could have never gotten this job on my own, but you pitied me and pulled some strings. And all this time I assumed it was Sungmin, but are you the one who’s been paying my rent? Did you move in intentionally, knowing my financial situation?”
 

“Kyuhyun, this isn’t the time or place for th-“
 

“Answer me!”
 

The slight nod is all Kyuhyun needs to sharply strike the older man’s cheek. His boss is turning red, blood vessels visible from a few meters away. “Cho Kyuhyun! Clean out your desk and leave the premises!” The newly unemployed man shrugs and looks away from the two men. For a few brief seconds his chest tightens and he slouches slightly, clutching the front of his shirt because he knows tears are coming. Siwon, being the worried (ex?) boyfriend reaches out his hands to help, but Kyuhyun shoves the hand away.
 

“You’ve shown me enough pity. Please leave me alone now.” On his way out of the building he grabs the picture of his daughter off his desk. None of the other stuff will really do him any good in unemployment.

Sungmin stops in her tracks as she sees a young man huddled in front of her apartment building. His knees are drawn up to his chest and his head is resting on his arms. From the angle his head is at, she can see his young features. Clearly, he isn’t Korean, she observes, so she fears he doesn’t have a place to stay.
 

Normally, she would quickly pass him by like all the other homeless people she happens to see, but there’s something about the young boy that has her reaching out her hand and shaking him by the shoulder.
 

Slowly, the boy lifts his head and looks up at the figure hovering over him. His eyes are unfocused as he looks up at the brunette and tries to work out her features. “Hyung?” he questions, his accent not quite right.
 

“Noona. Are you okay? Do you have someplace to stay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” 
 

The boy frowns and shakes his head. “Hospital? What is ‘hospital’?”
 

Sungmin puffs her cheek, trying to figure out a way to explain the word to the foreigner. “Ah, the place you go when you’re sick. The place you go that has doctors and nurses.” The boy tilts his head. “Uh, doctor?” she attempts in English. 
 

The boy’s eyes light up and he shakes his head again. “No, I don’t need a doctor, I’m not sick.” Sungmin pulls a face at the rapid English, signifying that she doesn’t understand. “Sorry… uhm, I’m Henry. My Korean… not good.”
 

“Well, Henry, I’m Sungmin. Come with me, I’ll take you up to my place so you can sleep somewhere warm for the night, okay?” She starts to walk toward the entrance door when she notices that Henry hasn’t budged from his spot on the ground. “Hurry up,” she says and motions with her hand. He gets up and follows behind her, apprehensively. She laughs. “Don’t worry, Henry. I don’t bite unless you want me to.”

Another circle is drawn on the classified ads news page as Kyuhyun spots another job he might possibly qualify for. In the background, he can hear Sunkyu giggling as she watches a kids’ video with Donghae. After the video ends, Donghae enters the kitchen carrying the toddler.
 

“Why can’t you just come back to work? President Choi asked the boss to hire you back if you choose to seek employment.”
 

“That’s exactly why I can’t go back, Hyung. If I go back to work, everyone will just see me as that guy who’s sleeping with the president, which is not true, by the way. And I can’t go back to a job that Siwon got for me. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me anything. I’ve been living off him for the past year without even knowing it. I left home to be able to provide for myself without my parents’ help, and he’s treating me like a kid! Why does he even live here? He’s rich and can afford way more a month than this place. And he paid my rent! He just let me assume the whole time that it was Sungmin… I can’t even-“
 

“So it’s okay if Sungmin pays your rent to help you out but not your boyfriend?” Donghae adjusts Sunkyu on his hip. The little girl babbles and plays with the man’s hair.
 

Kyuhyun shrugs and circles another job listing. “Well... yeah.”
 

“Why?”
 

Sighing, he sets the newspaper to the side and rests his elbows on the kitchen table. “Well, Sungmin is Sunny’s mother so it makes since that she should help out after she left and everything.”
 

“Well, if you ask me, President Choi is more than a parent than Sungmin will ever be. Didn’t you say he’s been helping since she was a week old? She practically is his daughter; blood couldn’t make them closer. I think you just wanted to believe Sungmin was still somehow in your life. You still miss her and fantasize about having a perfect family with her. Until you deal with that issue, you’ll just keep hurting the president. You know he’s hurting about this whole situation.”
 

Silence fills the room besides the quiet noises of contentment. The two men turn their head when they hear a knock on the front door of the apartment. Donghae readjusts Sunkyu and takes the liberty of opening the door to reveal the man they were just speaking of.
 

“Put my daughter down in her crib and leave.” Siwon’s tense jaw and black eyes tell Donghae that he’s in no position to argue. Donghae nods dumbly and hurries to do as he’s told. Before leaving, he bows deeply to the president of his company and mutters an apology.
 

Kyuhyun storms towards the taller man and shoves him. “What the hell! You can’t just come into my apartment and tell my friends what to do! Go tell him to come back.”
 

“Are you just friends with Lee Donghae?” His expression is still very furious and completely serious.
 

The younger man blinks. “Are you seriously jealous that I was with Donghae? You’re being ridiculous. I’ve told you plenty of times that I’m not gay, and even if I was, he’s not my type.”
 

Siwon takes a step forward, causing Kyuhyun to take a step back. “Then what exactly is your type?”
 

“Well, um, I would say that girls are my type, but as far as guys go I can’t really say. If I had to choose though, I think I like being with you than the thought of being with a-“
 

The kiss that cuts off the younger man’s speech is sudden and almost knocks him backwards from the force of how the older lunged at him. They’re both tense, letting their lips simply touch and adjust to the feel of the other man’s. The older has his hands wrapped around the forearms of the younger’s while the latter’s hands are defensively resting against the other’s stomach.
 

A push at his midsection makes Siwon step back and look down at his boyfriend to gauge his reaction. Kyuhyun tries to look anywhere but the man in front of him as he blushes and starts to sweat a bit.
 

“Are you okay?” Kyuhyun nods a little too fast and almost loses his balance, but Siwon moves an arm around his waist to steady him. “Are you uncomfortable or mad?” He doesn’t move for a few seconds but when he does it’s in the form of a slow shake of the head. At this point, Siwon can tell that Kyuhyun’s in the mental process of freaking out. Swiftly, but not fast enough to alarm Kyuhyun, he moves to the couch and kneels in front of the stunned man. “I know how you’re feeling, and I know you’re completely confused as to why you would ever feel this way with a man. You’re not sick or crazy, no matter what anyone says. Liking someone isn’t sick or crazy. Believe me, trying to repress this feeling will cause more grief than admitting it to yourself. I had to deal with this alone, years ago, but you have me. Talk to me, Kyu.”
 

The nickname makes the 20-year-old burst into tears. His fingers curl into a fist as he clings to his boyfriend. What exactly he’s crying over, he’s not sure, but he does have one clear thought running through his head: How can he still love Sungmin over this perfect man who’s done everything for him?

Sungmin groans in pleasure as she lowers herself onto the strong build man’s member. Ever since the encounter with the Chinese man (after a couple more times together, she learned his name was Hankyung) 8 months before, she had been trading ual favors for her own materialistic needs. Sure, she thought, it made her a e in some definition, but there was no money transferred. The few guys she sleeps with will happily go shopping with her if she asks. Zhou Mi (she seems to attract Chinese men) sometimes gives her the vibe that he’s more into the arrangement for the shopping than for the actual .
 

The guy she’s riding tonight is new. She can’t really remember his name, but she doesn’t feel too bad about it. Especially because while she’s setting a comfortable pace, the man is the name ‘Soong Mi’. 
 

As they’re both reaching their , Sungmin’s bouncing becoming more erratic and her limbs starting to shake, her mobile phone blares out an English song. She couldn’t remember the name of the song, but Henry had set it himself because he didn’t want to be associated with the guys she slept with. Usually, she would just ignore any call she got, but she had grown a soft spot for the 19-year-old.
 

She didn’t know much about Henry, but she has learned that he tended to be clueless on everything related to Korean culture. She groans for a different reason and apologizes to the man who swears loudly and tells her to hurry up. Before the phone stops ringing, she accepts the call, still in the compromising position on the man’s slowly softening .
 

“Hey, Henry,” she pants. “Did you need something?”
 

“I have a question… I bought food. Delivery. Is 30,000 won expensive? Two servings.” His vocabulary has improved over the few months he’s been living with Sungmin, but he still has trouble stringing complex sentences together. To others he interacts with, they can’t understand his jumble mess of words, but she’s become skilled at picking up on the important words and making sense of them.
 

“Well, that all depends. Where did you order the food from?” Her male company starts to his hips upwards slightly. Sungmin gasps into the phone, which makes Henry stutter for a moment before answering. “That’s way too much, even including tip.”
 

“Oh,” Henry remarks, cutely. “Well, when do you come home? I bought black bean noodles. Noona likes, right?”
 

A small smile graces Sungmin’s expression at Henry’s innocence. Her bed partner quickly changes that with a few hard s. She lets out a loud sound that’s a mix between a moan and a curse word. “I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

True to her word, Sungmin hurriedly enters the apartment 17 minutes later, just before midnight. She calls out to Henry announcing her presence before rushing into the bathroom to wash away the remnants of Youngwoon (she cleverly told him to add himself to her contacts).
 

Henry is already stuffing his face full of noodles when Sungmin emerges from the bathroom wrapped in a bathrobe with her short, dark hair sticking to her forehead. A few weeks with Henry had made her comfortable to treat him as a very close friend. His innocence made her let down her guard.
 

“Couldn’t wait?” She smirks. Henry energetically shakes his head and continues stuffing his face. The two chat with each other like old friends, never mind the fact that in actuality they met 5 months ago. At first, she only intended to let him stay for maybe a week until he found a job, but the odd jobs he did weren’t enough for him to find his own apartment. They almost immediately connected despite the language barrier, so she felt more of a want to keep him there. Besides, these days there wasn’t anyone she was comfortable enough with to be emotionally close.
 

“So, Henry,” she says after a comfortable silence. “Where are your parents?”
 

Without missing a beat or letting his content face drop, he replies, “I don’t know my father, but my mother, uh… viewed* me.”
 

Sungmin frowns at the use of the wrong word and at the statement she knows he means. “Do you mean abandon? Abandon is to leave, ah, or stop seeing.” Henry nods. “That doesn’t upset you?”
 

The Canadian man runs a hand through his black hair and takes a moment to swallow the last of his food. “In childhood, it made me sad a lot. Now, I like to think she had a reason. My mom was only 16. If I stayed with her we would both be unhappy. Maybe she abandoned me so I can be happy. If so, I see her as a good mom. So, I don’t have a mom, but I’m happy when I think of her.”
 

Sungmin grows quiet at Henry’s words. She wonders if she’ll ever be able to justify leaving her child, and if her daughter could ever forgive her enough to see her reasoning.

*The Korean word for view (보기 [bogi]) is very close to the word for abandon (포기 [pogi]).