It was Thursday night and Jooheon had stopped at the pharmacy earlier on the way home from work for the second day in a row, intending to buy a pregnancy test. And it was the second time he’d left empty-handed. Partly because he was still a little scared about what the result would be but mostly because there were too many options. Did he need a digital test or not? Did he need a pack of two or just one? And how much did he need to spend? Was the most expensive test on the shelf any better than the cheapest? It was enough to make his head spin. He needed some help he’d thought with a sigh as he’d given up and made his way outside. He needed to ask the opinion of someone who’d done it before. He needed Hyungwon.

But he’d already decided he couldn’t tell Hyungwon he was pregnant, or even that he thought he might be until he’d told Changkyun. Which was why he was sitting on the couch in his living room, hoping the marvel movie he was watching would distract him from how tired he was feeling. It had been a long day and he really wanted to go to bed but it was about time he said something to his boyfriend about his suspicions. They weren’t teenagers, they were adults, in a grown up relationship. They’d been dating for four years, living together for two. They’d talked about kids and how they both wanted them in the future. Even if he was pregnant and Changkyun wasn’t happy about the timing he wasn’t going to freak out on him. So yes, he was going to stay up, wait for him to get home and just tell him. Tell him he’d been feeling sick and tired and what he thought that might mean and that he was planning to buy a test to find out if he was right. That way Changkyun would know and he could talk to Hyungwon when they went for coffee, ask him how he’d known he was pregnant each time and what test he should buy and he wouldn’t have to feel guilty about keeping things from Changkyun.

He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open though. He’d chosen a superhero movie because he’d thought something action packed and loud would keep his attention but he was struggling. He’d slept well the night before and he hadn’t done anything too strenuous, it had been a normal work day, no excessive running around or anything like that but he was exhausted anyway. He’d felt the same all week, he’d wake up refreshed but be dead on his feet by four pm. It was something he wanted to ask Hyungwon about. He knew it was normal to feel tired when you were pregnant but he wasn’t sure if it was normal to feel so tired so early.

Because he’d been doing some thinking and if he was pregnant he was sure he couldn’t be that far along. He’d been trying to work out when it could have come about because if he was pregnant the doctor would ask and had settled on a night a few weeks before that might be a likely candidate. They‘d been invited to a house party, it had been a Friday night, neither of them had had work the next day and they’d both had a little too much to drink. They hadn’t overdone it to the point where they couldn’t remember anything the next day but they’d definitely both been past the point of tipsy by the time they’d made it home. Changkyun had been drunk enough that when he’d aimed for their bedroom door handle and missed he’d seemed genuinely confused and blamed the door and he hadn’t been any more sober. It had taken him so long to undo the first button of his shirt that he’d quickly given up and gone straight to taking off his jeans only to end up over balancing and stumbling into the dresser, sending Changkyun into a fit of giggles. And yes they’d still had enough of their wits about them to actually use a ,  but if Changkyun hadn’t had the coordination needed to work a door handle and he hadn’t been able to take his own jeans off without falling over there was every chance they hadn’t been as careful using it as they should have been.

So yes if he was right, and it was then that they’d messed up, well that would make him around five weeks pregnant. And surely that was too early for all the symptoms he’d been having to be hitting him so hard. He could technically ask the internet about it but he’d rather ask Hyungwon, he trusted him more.

Which meant Changkyun needed to get home. The sooner he told him the sooner he could go to his friend for advice. He shouldn’t be too much longer. He was working late because there was a gig at the music shop he worked at but that was due to finish by twelve and it was already almost eleven. He was stupidly tired but he only had to last another couple of hours. He could survive that long he was sure, he wasn’t a toddler.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

He’d lasted about another twenty minutes. And he must have been deeply asleep when Changkyun had gotten home because when he woke up again at around three am the lights were out, the tv was off, and it seemed Changkyun had managed to move him so he wasn’t curled up in the corner of the couch but stretched out on his side with a cushion under his head without him even noticing. He’d even been considerate enough to find him a blanket.

And Jooheon felt stupid and a little frustrated. Changkyun would be fast asleep by now, waking him would be rude. And he probably wouldn’t be able to tell him in the morning either. He was working early but Changkyun didn’t have to work again until that evening. There was no need for Changkyun to get up before seven with him and he wasn’t going to make him. And that meant getting advice from Hyungwon was going to have to wait or that he would at least have to be careful about it. It was disappointing but he supposed it couldn’t be helped he thought with a sigh as he struggled to his feet, rubbing at his eyes, legs feeling heavy. The couch wasn’t as comfortable as his bed so that was where he was heading. He was going to get a few more hours of sleep and worry about how he was going to keep his pregnancy related worries from Hyungwon later. He wanted so badly to tell him and ask for his advice but it would just have to wait, wouldn’t it? It was disappointing but it couldn’t be helped.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Just as he’d thought he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Changkyun that morning, he’d still been in bed when he’d left for work. But he’d been looking forward to seeing Hyungwon anyway, even if he couldn’t tell him what was bothering him just yet. Other than the odd conversation at pick-up or drop-off they hadn’t spoken properly in weeks and they had a lot to catch up on. There was Hyungwon’s baby for one. Jooheon was hoping he could use that to get some information that might help him in his current situation without him having to let on that he thought was pregnant himself.

But as Jooheon placed their tray of drinks on the table he was already beginning to think their choice of venue might have been a mistake. They’d only been there five minutes but the smell of coffee was already getting to him. It had struck him as soon as he’d walked in the door and he’d had to give up on ordering the cappuccino he’d been looking forward to all day and order a hot chocolate instead. He’d ended up ordering them both a cinnamon swirl pastry too, which might seem like an odd thing to do when his stomach was churning but he hadn’t been able to help it. Yes, he felt queasy but they’d been right there in the display case and they’d looked so good that he couldn’t resist. And hey, if the taste of the cinnamon was strong enough it might override the coffee smell. He was hoping that having something to focus on, even if it was just eating a pastry, would help keep his mind off how bad he was feeling because knowing Hyungwon he’d soon pick up on it and start asking questions. He couldn’t risk that.

Thankfully, as Jooheon pulled his chair back and took a seat he realised that had a moment to try and gain some composure and will his stomach to settle because Hyungwon was distracted. Jisung, who had been perfectly content when they’d arrived was still sitting in his pram but was now whimpering and kicking his legs and Hyungwon was shushing him and telling him to be patient, portable bottle warmer on the table in front of him.

“I’ll feed him.” Jooheon heard himself say, eyes still fixed on a fussy Jisung. There were tears of frustration forming in the little boy’s eyes and he was struck with the overwhelming urge to scoop him up and hold him close.

“Don’t be silly.” Hyungwon told him, taking the bottle from the warmer and removing the cap. “You’ve been looking after other people’s kids all day, you deserve a break.”

“And you don’t?” Jooheon asked, eyebrows raised. He was three months pregnant and had four children under the age of five to worry about too. He must be exhausted.

“I’m a mother. We don’t get breaks, it’s a full time job.” Hyungwon reminded him with a rueful smile. “And anyway I’ve only had Jisung with me for most of the day. Your room takes, what… thirty kids?”

“When we’re full to capacity.” Jooheon confirmed. “We’re quiet on a Friday at the moment though. We only had seventeen between us today.”

“It’s still more than my one. And you haven’t been feeling one hundred per cent this week have you?” Hyungwon said, giving him a pointed look as he placed the bottle he’d just tested on his arm onto the table. Then he was getting up and leaning over Jisung so he could unstrap him from his pram. “So just sit there, enjoy your hot chocolate and relax.”

“I’m okay.” Jooheon told him, feeling guilty for making him worry. He watched as Hyungwon took Jisung from his pram and sat back down, settling the little boy in his arms. Knowing what was about to happen Jisung kicked harder, his whimpers of frustration turning to little squawks of excitement and Jooheon couldn’t help smiling. He was just too cute. “I feel much better now.” He added. It wasn’t technically a lie, he still didn’t feel great but he also didn’t think he was about to start crying at the drop of a hat, that was definitely an improvement on Wednesday.

“Are you sure?” Hyungwon asked, managing to keep Jisung still just long enough to get the teat of the bottle in his mouth. “You look tired.” He noted, as his son finally settled down and stopped kicking, content now that there was milk going into his mouth.

Jooheon was ridiculously tired, he had been all day but he hadn’t realised he looked it. “It’s been kind of busy, we‘ve got a lot of planning to do for the summer.” He explained, hoping Hyungwon would be satisfied with that. He needed to stop him asking questions before he let slip something that he shouldn’t and the best way to do that was to distract Hyungwon with some questions of his own. “But how are you?” He asked, “How is baby number five treating you?”

“Pretty well actually.” Hyungwon answered, “There haven’t been any major issues so far. Fingers crossed he or she stays as well behaved for the rest of this pregnancy too.”

“No morning sickness or anything?” Jooheon queried, trying to make the question sound casual. He couldn’t tell Hyungwon he might be pregnant but maybe he could still get some information out of him while he was there. Something that might help him decide if he really was pregnant himself or if he was just imagining it because that was still a possibility. He had an incredibly overactive imagination.

“Not really.” Hyungwon said, tilting his head as he thought about it. “A little in the beginning maybe but it was more nausea than actual sickness. And as long as I made sure to eat something as soon as I got up it usually went pretty quickly.”

“Really? Like what?” Jooheon asked, realising that of it was morning sickness that was bothering him that was probably where he’d been going wrong. He’d been avoiding eating when he felt queasy thinking it would make him feel worse.

“Toast, crackers… whatever really.” Hyungwon said with a shrug. “Just something quick and easy to tide me over until the kids were up and fed and dressed.”

“Hmm.” Jooheon hummed thoughtfully, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. The smell of coffee was starting to get to him again and he needed a distraction. Ah, but that was what the pastry was for wasn’t it he remembered, tearing off a piece and popping it into his mouth. Yes, yes that was better he decided, letting the pastry melt in his mouth. The taste of cinnamon definitely took the edge off the coffee smell. But where was he… oh yes. He was meant to be quizzing Hyungwon. “It must be tiring though, looking after the kids now you’re pregnant.” He prodded, trying to make it sound more like friendly concern than an inquisition.

Hyungwon nodded. “It’s getting better now but it was tough in the beginning. It was what made me to take a test actually, the fact I was struggling to keep my eyes open in the afternoon even after getting a full nights sleep. Jisung’s been sleeping so well that I couldn’t really blame it on him.”

That’s what he’d wanted to know, if it was normal to be so tired so early on in your pregnancy. It had said so online but he’d wanted to make sure because no matter how much sleep he got lately he was always exhausted and it had been starting to worry him. But if had been the same