Chapter 3

Σ(;Φ ω Φ)

“‘Can cats talk?’” Wheein read over Byulyi’s shoulder and squinted at the computer screen. “Unnie, is this for another project?”

Byulyi could only shrug listlessly and scroll down another page of cat videos that showcased the cats meowing out what their owners swear to be a conversation.

It’s been two weeks since Yongsun walked out of her apartment. There’d been no contact between them whatsoever save for her borrowed t-shirt and key showing up in her mailbox the day after it all happened. Byulyi had taken one glance into her mailbox, smelt the floral scented fabric softener Yong liked to use coming off the freshly washed t-shirt, saw her spare key sitting atop the t-shirt, and left both items in there.

It’s been two weeks since her manager gave her a thorough dressing down for skipping out on work and she responded with a half-hearted promise to do better. Which she demonstrated spectacularly by showing up to work zoned out and researching what she could about cats when she finally grappled enough of her attention span to do so.

Wheein was worried, especially after Byulyi showed up to work after skipping out with one hand all scratched up and her mopey face on, but she knew that when Byulyi shrugged and deflected every attempt at bringing it up, the older girl wasn’t going to crack without a fight. It was frustrating and Wheein could see how Byulyi’s tendencies could easily spark arguments when up against Yongsun’s straightforward nature. She figured they were on another break with the way her friend had been acting and the sudden absence of the older girl.

Another peek at Byulyi’s desktop showed yet another video of a cat meowing out an entire monologue.

Since when was Byulyi-unnie into cats? Sure she was enthusiastic about playing with Ggomo when they hung out at Wheein’s place, but this sudden hyperfixation was even more worrying when combined with the knowledge that she was fighting with Yongsun again.

“Sooo,” Wheein began casually, “are you thinking of getting a cat, unnie?”

“Not really.” Byulyi clicked to another page and Wheein managed to catch the words ‘...cats communicate through subtle body language… state of the cat’s eyes… tail position…’ before their manager approached and leaned over their cubicle, sending Wheein scrambling to look busy.

“Are you busy, Byulyi-ssi?” the man asked, pointedly gesturing at the twenty tabs of cat videos and articles open on her screen.

“Yes, sir,” Byulyi responded even as she scrolled down to the bottom of the article on ‘Does My Cat Love Me? 5 Easy Steps To Tell!’

For the first time in her career, Wheein and their manager shared a brief, communal moment of ‘what the hell is up with her?’  The man squinted his eyes questioningly at her and all Wheein could do was shrug helplessly and shake her head - she had no idea either.

Losing patience, their manager tapped the side of their cubicle, sending post-it notes fluttering down Byulyi’s desktop screen and finally getting her attention. “Byulyi-ssi, my office. Now.”

Over the next ten minutes, Wheein was joined by several of her co-workers in leaning out their cubicles and trying to get a glance through their manager’s glass partition office at the strange scene within. Byulyi wasn’t the most enthusiastic employee in the office, but she did her part and she did it quietly. Rare was it to see her get pulled aside for a talk twice in the span of just as many weeks.

Wheein squinted; their manager looked stern and while she could see Byulyi’s fingers laced together behind her back, twitching and flexing, she had no idea what expression was on the older girl’s face. She could hear her co-workers whispering and gossiping in the distance, but all she could focus on was the way Byulyi lifted her head minutely and their manager’s shocked expression.

Byulyi-unnie talking back? Now this was even more troubling than the endless cat videos and cat personality tests.

Finally managing to tear her eyes away from the strange and worrying scene in their manager’s office, Wheein leaned towards Byulyi’s side of the small, shared cubicle. A few knick-knacks dotted the desk and polaroids decorated the wall. Her, a co-worker or two, and some other mutual friends made up a few of the pictures but the vast majority were of Byulyi and Yongsun; the obvious favorite being a candid shot of Yongsun, face turned toward a summer breeze, a gentle smile underneath relaxed, closed eyes. It didn’t take more than a cursory glance to tell Byulyi put more effort into that single photograph than any of the work assignments that littered her desk.

There was the sound of a door closing and the shuffle of everyone quickly getting back to work before Byulyi returned and sank into her seat with a sigh.

As her friend, it was her duty to not ignore this. Wheein spun around in her seat. “Drinks after work, unnie?” The unspoken ‘I’m gonna bug you about this until you talk about it’ echoed heavily in the air.

Wheein was sure Byulyi was going to shrug off her offer when the older girl pulled that photo of Yongsun off her computer and studied it for a moment. But then, “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.” Then Byulyi carefully placed the picture in her blazer pocket before typing ‘cat shapeshifters’ into her search bar.

Slowly Wheein moved back towards her own screen and the design she had been editing. Yup, clearly drinks were needed. A whole lot of drinks.

Σ(;Φ ω Φ)

Fresh meat sizzled on the small grill between them and Wheein impatiently stared it down, chopsticks at the ready.

They were at a corner table in the back of their usual barbeque place, which although Wheein greatly, greatly appreciated the house tripe, she was also hesitant to pick this particular restaurant for their drink-and-talk session because this place also happened to be Yongsun-unnie’s favorite place. Indeed she’d spent many a date here third-wheeling and grilling for the two older girls. Her hesitation rose from her fear that being her might exacerbate Byulyi’s mood, ruining the ‘talk’ segment of their drink-and-talk session. Byulyi-unnie had been mopey enough for the past two weeks and she didn’t need her to get any mopier and thwart her chance of finding out what was going on between the two of them.

Yet so far, Byulyi seemed to be okay? As okay as she could be anyway, given her usual amount of mopeyness and the recent cat obsession. The older girl was enjoying their kimchi side dishes. Wheein eyed the soju at their table; usually it took them about three and a quarter bottles for Byulyi-unnie to start talking freely and they were almost there at their three bottles of grapefruit soju.

“Yoink.” Byulyi snatched up the meat Wheein had been waiting for.

“Hey!” Wheein complained without much heat. Particularly so when Byulyi chuckled and waved down a waiter for another order of meat. “Wow, you’re eating more than usual.”

Byulyi shrugged, knocking back another shot before speaking, “I haven’t been eating much the past few days.”

Wheein watched Byulyi refill her glass, eyes starting to take on a glassy, glazed look. Silently she offered her own glass for a refill.

“Guess it finally caught up to me,” Byulyi continued, voice still surprisingly clear.

As worried as she was about her friend’s diet, she’d have to wait until Byulyi started stumbling over her words before she could bring up the ‘sudden and extreme cat phase because my girlfriend and I are on another break’ topic. Wheein knew it wasn’t exactly healthy or the right way to talk through their issues, but she understood why Byulyi kept so many things in. Wheein herself was similar in that regard; even if she objectively recognized this method was bad, it was the only way they could be honest to each other and to themselves and that was with the plausible deniability offered by inebriation.

“Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

Another shot down and they paused to thank the waiter when he dropped off another order of tripe and brisket. And another bottle of soju.

Wheein could feel her body start to swirl and float inside the crowded barbeque house. The hustle and bustle of the rest of the room, the sizzling of meat, the smoke that hung loosely in the air - they were all starting to get to her. She’d have to slow down if she wanted to get any answers out of Byulyi; otherwise it’ll be her crying about Ggomo instead of Byulyi about whatever it was that caused whatever that was for the past two weeks.

For a moment they both focused on grilling and snatching up meat. Wheein was in the midst of wrapping her portion up in lettuce when Byulyi finally hit her three and a quarter bottle mark.

“We had a fight.”

Byulyi-unnie was volunteering information without additional prodding so that was a good sign. “What happened?”

The older girl sighed, pouring herself a shot, a few drops missing her glass. Wheein inconspicuously slid the bottle a little further away from Byulyi after she set it down.

“It’s… started with the last project I picked up.”

“Oh yeah, you hate that one.” Wheein remembered the short, stout, balding client. The man made some impossible requests and was satisfied with none of the results.

“I hate that one,” Byulyi repeated emphatically. “So, so much.” She made a vague strangling gesture with her hand before she let it drop to the table with another long sigh. “I was telling Yongsun about it and… all the complaints and she…” Byulyi leaned on her palm, voice dropping into a mumble.

“Sheeee?” Wheein prompted.

Byulyi rubbed at her temples. “She told me to just quit, said to just leave if it was making me so unhappy.” She snorted. “As if it were that easy. If it were I would’ve already done it.”

Ah. Wheein could sort’ve piece together how this recent argument started. She’d seen it happen a few times before.

Wheein didn’t really like her job either, but it was clear from anyone that ever talked to Byulyi about her job that the older girl hated it. Yongsun, freelance extraordinaire, couldn’t understand why they would force themselves to stay somewhere that didn’t bring them joy. Still, it was a comfort-zone, one they’d stayed in for so long that the thought of stepping away was anxiety-inducing. Wheein understood Byulyi’s hesitance very well. Not that she couldn’t see Yongsun’s stance - it was what made her admire the older girl so much after all. Pursuing one’s passions and taking the steps to realize them took hard work and dedication. Both of which she knew Byulyi-unnie had in her.

Seeing both their perspectives from her objective, third-wheeling standpoint, Wheein wished they could just be honest with each other and talk about that instead of talking their way around it the way they talked around their feelings for each other for so long. Certainly would’ve prevented a few of their fights, particularly when those fights inevitably all touched on the same topic.

“Not a lot of things are easy, unnie. I’m sure Yongsun-unnie knows that too,” Wheein said diplomatically, picking off a few pieces of meat before they overcooked.

Byulyi shut her eyes and nodded, whole body joining in the movement. “I know that. She knows that. We both know that.”

“That’s, uh, great?”

“So why am I so afraid to just tell her?”

Wheein chewed thoughtfully. “You like taking care of Yongsun-unnie.”

Glassy eyes slid to her, interest perked behind a fog of tipsiness. “Yeah?”

“I think that you think that if you honestly tell her what you’re thinking or what’s bothering you, you’ll be burdening her.”

“Well. Yeah? I know she always has a lot on her plate. I’m not gonna make it worse for her.”

Wheein jabbed her chopsticks at Byulyi, almost laughing aloud when the older girl went cross-eyed trying to focus on it. “Yeah, but Yongsun-unnie always handles it because you’re there to support her. If you don’t tell her what you’re really thinking, and she knows, don’t you think that’ll stress Yongsun-unnie out more?”

“You never tell me how you actually feel so we never work anything out.”

Whatever defenses that might’ve started died in Byulyi’s mouth as Wheein’s words echoed what her mind had been turning over and over again.

Could that honesty really help more than it would hurt?

Byulyi squinted at her. “When did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been this smart,” Wheein gave an exaggerated wink and cackled when Byulyi cringed. “So what made this time so different? You guys usually make up within a week. It’s been, what?”

“Two weeks,” Byulyi muttered, staring down at the condensation rolling off the soju bottle.

“Wow, that’s a record.”

It was certainly something, alright. What could she tell Wheein? Yongsun turned into a cat in front of her and that takes an extra week of mental processing time? No, that wasn’t it and she needed to accept it. The truth of it was she didn’t know how to reach out after being the one to suggest they break up; the same way she hadn’t know what to do with the returned t-shirt and key. Accepting it would mean that Yongsun agreed with breaking up, as much as she already agreed when she walked out of Byulyi’s apartment that day, and that Byulyi was accepting that result.

Wheein was waiting for an answer.

“I asked her to meet up to talk it out.”

“Oh, that’s good. That’s very mature.”

Byulyi winced. “Then we fought again and I kinda yelled at her that we should… end it.”

“Oh, that’s bad. That’s not very mature.”

“It came from a very emotional place, okay?”

Wheein waved her hands placatingly. “Yeah, I get it, unnie. It’s easy to say stuff we don’t mean when we’re in the middle of it. Well, there’s no real solution other than just meeting up and talking again.”

“How? She made it obvious she didn’t want to see me. And I don’t even know what I’ll say if I see her again.” Byulyi spun the shot glass round and round.

Jabbing her chopsticks at Byulyi again, Wheein said, “But you know to be honest this time though.” Shrugging she continued, “At this point I think you’ve both had the chance to cool off. Plus, I think it’s easier to speak your mind when you’re starting at rock bottom anyway.”

Byulyi slouched in her seat. Objectively, Wheein was right. On paper, those were all solid points. Getting herself to actually do it though...

Sighing out, Byulyi reached for the bottle of soju between them and Wheein let her - it can’t have been easy for Byulyi-unnie to be that honest with her fears.

“Why is it always so much easier to talk about these things with you, Wheein-ah?”

Wheein snorted. “Because I have the same problem, minus the girlfriend part. But!” She offered her glass to Byulyi for a refill. “I deal with it better than you, unnie.”

“Do you?” Byulyi hadn’t meant it as anything more than a teasing riposte so she missed the half-second frown on Wheein’s face.

“Well, anyway, this isn’t about me. This is about you, unnie. And I think the main part of your issue is you’re afraid.”

“I prefer to call it me being careful, but alright.”

Wheein rolled her eyes. “Being careful is one thing, but you let that carefulness paralyze you, unnie. Like with work: I know Yongsun-unnie’s been encouraging you to go freelance, but you’ve thought it about yourself too, haven’t you?”

Byulyi hesitated and then said carefully, “Yes. But…” But she can’t come up with anything else to say besides what Wheein had already honed in on: she was afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of not measuring up to what Yongsun believed she was capable of. From the squinted look Wheein was giving her, Byulyi knew Wheein had her caught. Defensively, she countered, “Well, what about you? I know you don’t like the company either so why are you still here?”

“Because graphic design is my passion,” Wheein deadpanned. And she held that look until Byulyi couldn’t anymore and snorted out her gulp of soju. “Ewww, unnie, that’s gross!” But she joined in, her signature hearty cackle ringing out. Eventually when she caught her breath, Wheein popped open the remaining bottle of soju they had and said, “Well, maybe I’m just waiting for you, unnie. If you leave, I’ll follow.”

Accepting Wheein’s offer of a refill with a nod, Byulyi thought about it. She’d certainly feel better if she had Wheein to support her in whatever endeavors she’d try in the near future. And Yongsun… Well, Yongsun would’ve done the same. But she’s gone and messed that up.

“I can tell you’re overthinking again, unnie. One thing at a time,” Wheein said, holding her glass up for a cheers with a smile.

Not for the first time, Byulyi thanked the universe for allowing her to meet such a supportive friend. Of course, one thing at a time. She’ll work out her issue with working out issues. She’ll figure something out. Byulyi grinned and downed her shot with a whoop. “Clearly this means we get refills on everything.”

“Oh goodness, unnie, that goes without saying,” Wheein said with a faux-dramatic hand to the chest and an affected affronted expression.

With her heart much lighter than it had been for the last week, if only momentarily, Byulyi let herself relax. Wheein ended her interrogation with a surprisingly positive and insightful conclusion and Byulyi thought that was the end of that, but unbeknownst to her Wheein wasn’t done just yet. Even if all the drinks she’d been knocking back with Byulyi for the past hour were finally catching up to her, Wheein was on a mission. She let Byulyi be lulled into a false sense of security by grilling the older girl the rest of the meat and insisting she eat to make up for her past two weeks of mope-induced dieting. Then she struck.

“So what’s with the cats, unnie?”

Byulyi missed pouring into Wheein’s shot glass and sloshed half their table with soju. “What?”

In between emptying their tissue packet onto the spill, Wheein quirked her brow. “You know what I’m talking about. Your search history knows what I’m talking about.”

Sometimes the younger girl really was too perceptive. She knew agreeing to Wheein’s dinner invitation meant she was subjecting herself to a thorough probing. While she was incredibly grateful to her friend for checking in on her like this and for talking through the muddled points in her mind, she didn’t know if bringing up the cat thing with Wheein was a good idea. Or the right idea. Yongsun had been pretty firm about not talking about the cat thing.

“Uh-”

“Look, unnie, I get it.”

Panic, sudden and roiling, gripped her chest. “You do?”

Wheein rolled her eyes. “It was kinda obvious, unnie.”

Oh man, she could already feel Yongsun’s cat-fury descending upon her.

“You want a cat to fill the void in your heart now that Yongsun-unnie’s giving you the silent treatment.”

What.

“What.”

Nodding sagely, Wheein picked out the rest of the meat left on the grill and Byulyi didn’t even try to fight her for it. “Listen, I know you want to pour all your attention on something since Yongsun-unnie isn’t around to soak it up, but a cat is a lot of responsibility, unnie.”

Byulyi didn’t know if she should be relieved Wheein hadn’t somehow used her super perception to miraculously figure out Yongsun was apparently a part-time cat or dread the incoming onslaught of cat care factoids Wheein, tipsy cat-mom expert, was about to unleash on her.

Immediately, she swiveled around, looking to wave down the waiter for more drinks. As she did so she caught sight of a girl seated at a table in the opposite corner, staring in their direction. The self-conscious side of her immediately averted her eyes, yet after the waiter brought their drinks over, she changed a glance out of the corner of her eye and yup, that girl was still watching them.

“...most people seem to think that an outdoor lifestyle is more freeing-”

“Wheein-ah.”

“...drastically reduce their lifespan! Can you believe that, unnie-”

“Wheein-ah!” She hissed out the corner of , lightly swatting Wheein’s hand away from pouring herself another shot. The anxiety from being watched sobered her up quickly; on the other hand, an oblivious Wheein was rapidly getting sloshed.

“Huh, what?”

Even after having been caught staring, the girl wasn’t deterred. Byulyi took quick glances out of the corner of her eye. That girl was bold, that’s for sure, wearing shorts and a tube top to a barbeque place. Her stare was made extra intimidating from her sharp eye makeup and even the few quick glances Byulyi stole made her feel like she was being chased down.   

“Don’t look now, but that girl over there is staring at us.”

“Where?” Wheein sat up and swung her head in the girl’s direction.

Byulyi hid her face in her hands.

“Woah, she’s flashy. That top is y as hell.”

“Thanks, I got it on sale.”

Her voice was much gentler than her intimidating eyeshadow suggested. When Byulyi worked up the courage to look up the girl was standing next to their table. Though she had been speaking to Wheein, her eyes were once again on Byulyi.

“Nice to meet you again, Byulyi-unnie.”

Again?

Byulyi was about to ask the girl how she knew her name, but now that she was closer, Byulyi got a vague sense that she’d seen this girl somewhere before. Try as she might, she couldn’t come up with the where and the when. Something about mystery tube top’s eyes though… Something about her eyes dug into Byulyi’s memories. Something so reminiscent about them that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, and it wasn’t all due to the soju she’d been downing all evening.

“Hey, unnie, she knows you!” Wheein helpfully supplied.

Mystery tube top smiled gently at Wheein’s tipsy outburst. “My name’s Hyejin. Let me help you take your friend home, unnie. I think she’s done for tonight.”

“Yup, I’m done for the night!” Wheein cheerily repeated.

Bless her soul for being so ready to go, but Byulyi didn’t know if it was a good idea to go with mystery tube top. Especially since she seemed to know her, yet Byulyi didn’t have a clue beyond her familiar eyes.

Her familiar eyes that seemed to be saying Byulyi didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Σ(;Φ ω Φ)

Hyejin had waited at the table patiently with Wheein while Byulyi went to pay and hadn’t said anything else as they walked in silence down the quiet neighborhood street leading to Wheein’s apartment. Wheein for her part was walking fine on her own, if stumbling every odd step or so, so Byulyi wasn’t too worried - the two of them have had worse when it came to going over their limits. What Byulyi was worried about was the mystery girl who had a hand looped around Wheein’s arm guiding her around bumps and dips in the road.

When she was sure that Wheein was too engrossed in mumbling her next day’s to-do list to herself, Byulyi finally asked, “I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but how do you know me, Hyejin-ssi?”

The glow from the street lamps and the occasional passing car gave Hyejin’s dark eyes an almost orangish-yellow glow. And those glowing eyes stared straight at her over Wheein’s head when the girl replied, “We met a few times, but I don’t blame you if you don’t remember me, unnie. It was a while ago.”

Straining to remember those brief moments, Byulyi wasn’t prepared for Hyejin’s next words, “But I’ve heard a lot about you, unnie. Yongsun-unnie talks about you a lot.”

Byulyi lost her footing.

“Watch your step.” Hyejin said calmly.

Warily, Byulyi straightened up, looping an arm around Wheein when the girl stopped mid-mumble to sneeze loudly.

Hyejin was calm and gently guiding Wheein, but her entire being set Byulyi on edge. How did she know her? And more importantly, how did she know Yongsun? If she’d met the girl through Yongsun before surely she’d remember? Yongsun rarely talked about her family and because Yongsun was so busy and often kept to herself, Byulyi’s pretty sure she’s familiar with the few friends Yongsun talked to on the regular. So, what then? Maybe Yongsun collaborated with her on a project? No, Yongsun usually shared with her the whos and whats of her projects and Byulyi was fairly sure Hyejin hadn’t worked with Yongsun unless it was before they met. Was Hyejin a relative then? And if she was…

As if she knew what she was thinking, Hyejin glanced at Byulyi again with her orangish-yellow eyes...no, Byulyi realized with increasing panic. In the dim lighting between street lamps, Hyejin’s eyes were gold.

“Watch out for the garbage bag,” Hyejin warned helpfully just as Byulyi tripped over it.

After picking herself up, Byulyi stopped them. As much as she wanted to demand some answers, she couldn’t do it with Wheein between them. And even if she could, she didn’t know how to bring the subject up.

‘Hey, I recently found out my ex-girlfriend is a cat. Mayhaps you are a cat too, Hyejin-ssi?’

No way that would work.

Fortunately Hyejin saved her from having to wrack her brain for an approach when she smiled softly, looking far, far less intimidating than Byulyi’s come to expect. “Don’t look so stressed, unnie.”

“I’m not stressed,” Byulyi stressed.

Hyejin let out a chuckle that sounded far younger and cuter than the attitude her outward appearance gave off. “Yongsun-unnie was right about you being funny, unnie.”

Byulyi was still trying to figure out if Hyejin meant that as a compliment or a stealth insult when Hyejin glanced down the street and asked, “Are we close to Wheein’s place?”

Regardless of her questions that have all remained unanswered as of present, Byulyi’s priority was getting Wheein home to bed. And away from whatever all this was. She could deal with cat shapeshifters later after Wheein was cozy and safe and properly hydrated. Careful to keep an eye on Hyejin the whole way, Byulyi and Hyejin walked Wheein the remaining few minutes to the younger girl’s apartment.

Hyejin glanced at the magnolia trees that decorated the small yard to the front of Wheein’s aged apartment complex, sniffing curiously at the night air.

By the time Byulyi fished out Wheein’s keys from the bottom of her bag the younger girl was half asleep on her feet. Against her better judgment, Byulyi left Hyejin to roam around Wheein’s sitting room while she tugged the girl into her bathroom and walked her through brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. Once she made sure Wheein drank some water and was tucked in bed with more water, painkillers, and her phone within easy reach, Byulyi shut off her room light and took a deep breath.

Time to get some answers.

She wasn’t prepared to walk into a standoff in the middle of Wheein’s sitting room: Hyejin was curled up tensely on Wheein’s old overstuffed armchair and shooting a vicious glare across to the opposing windowsill where Ggomo was doing the same. Wheein’s pride and joy wasn’t vocally complaining but he looked close to it.

Byulyi was half tempted to just backtrack into Wheein’s room and take a page from Wheein’s book and just sleep all this away.

Ggomo bared his fangs, claws digging into the chipped paint of the windowsill, and let out a low hissing almost outside of Byulyi’s hearing range.

When Hyejin stood and looked like some kind of predator slinking towards a cornered prey,  Ggomo immediately straightened up, skulking towards his cat tree, tail in between his legs. Byulyi watched him dive into his little cubby hole where he immediately curled into himself and sulkily glared out at Hyejin.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen him do that!” Byulyi said, peering into the cubby hole, not quite believing that she witnessed Ggomo finally conceding defeat.  

Hyejin hummed with satisfaction, leading the two of them out of Wheein’s apartment. “Just need to put him in his place. You should try it, unnie.”

“I doubt I make it work like you can,” Byulyi snorted.

Once they were standing in the yard again, Hyejin stretched her arms up towards the sky and breathed the night air in.

“That was nice,” She placed her hands on her hips and smiled at Byulyi over her shoulder. “Wheein seems nice - I like her.”

Sidling so that her body was blocking Hyejin’s view of Wheein’s door - not like it would do much but it made Byulyi feel a little better about physically separating the strange cat-business from the non-cat-business part of her life - Byulyi spoke carefully, “Wheein’s not here anymore. You want to tell me why you really came up to us?”

Hyejin studied her a moment, golden eyes searching her face so thoroughly Byulyi wanted to hide behind her hands. “I wanted to check with you; see how you were doing.”

Hand tightening into a fist, Byulyi remembered the scratches that have since healed over on her hand as well as the one who gave her those scratches. “Did Yongsun tell you to do that?”

When Hyejin didn’t respond, Byulyi took a deep breath and forced her rising frustration down. This was getting old; this dodging questions and being vague and ominous. So Yongsun didn’t want to tell her about the cat thing - fine. So Yongsun had dropped her key off without a word and hadn’t reached out in two weeks - fine; she could respect Yongsun’s need for space - she’d give Yongsun all the time in the world if that’s what she needed. But for Yongsun to send her, her catfriend, who apparently knew a lot about Byulyi even though Byulyi doesn’t remember meeting the girl at all, to check in on her indirectly? And Byulyi was supposed to be the one that never wanted to address things directly? Unfair.

Golden eyes flicked between Byulyi’s clenched fist and the mounting impatience on Byulyi’s face. Then Hyejin’s next words completely threw Byulyi off. “Actually, I was hoping you’ve seen Yongsun-unnie.”

Blindsided and a little flustered from being that surprised, Byulyi could only flounder and ask, “What, what do you mean?”

Sighing, Hyejin wrapped her arms around herself. “I haven’t heard from her for almost a week now. I’ve dropped by her apartment a few times, but she hasn’t been back.”

That didn’t sound good. Someone not being home for a few days could mean any number of things, many of them bad. Byulyi could feel a steady panic begin to build inside her chest, but she forced it down enough to ask, “What about her phone?”

“Straight to voicemail.” Hyejin took a deep breath, golden eyes carefully measuring the fear Byulyi knew was spreading on her face. Then she shrugged. “Well, I know Yongsun-unnie sometimes needs to get away for a bit. So I’m not too worried. But...”

If she meant that to be reassuring Byulyi wasn’t sure her panic was going to willingly receive that reassurance. A week? Almost a whole week that she spent looking up stupid cat articles and feeling sorry for herself and Yongsun had retreated somewhere by herself - all alone.

“But I was kind of hoping she’d go to you.”

Hyejin’s attempt at reassuring her might not have worked but her next words were just unbelievable enough for her incredulity to trump her fears. “Why would you think that? I haven’t seen or heard from her in two weeks.”

Shrugging, Hyejin answered, “She trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me she’s a cat.”

Hyejin shook her head. “That’s a…eh-”

“Complicated?” Byulyi supplied.  

“I was going to say ‘a delicate situation’ actually, but you’re right. It is complicated.” Hyejin didn’t give Byulyi a chance to say anything else when she stalked towards her, hand held out in front of her.

Byulyi couldn’t quite help backing up a few steps but ended up staring down at Hyejin’s proffered hand anyway. “What?”

“Let me see your phone.”

Byulyi handed it over and watched Hyejin fiddle with it before she handed it back. It was her number.

“If you see Yongsun-unnie, let me know? And even if you don’t, we should meet up anyway. Talk about things.”

Phone tightening in her hand, Byulyi frowned as Hyejin began walking backwards away from her. “You finally going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I think it’s better if Yongsun-unnie tells you about it herself, but if you don’t see her, sure. I’ll tell you.” Hyejin said easily with a small smile. “You should bring Wheein too. I’d like to hang out with her again.”

And with that Byulyi was left standing alone amongst the magnolia trees.

Σ(;Φ ω Φ)

It only took a slightly embarrassing three times for her to unlock her front door. The shock of meeting Hyejin and the conversation they shared under the night air dually sobered her up and drained her afterwards. Too little energy and dwindling brain power trying to come up with some conclusive result.

The facts as she knew it were: Yongsun is a cat; Hyejin is a cat; they are cat friends; Hyejin hasn’t seen Yongsun in nearly a week; Hyejin is willing to finally explain the situation.

Byulyi threw herself atop her messy bed with a grunt. She loosened her tie and considered just laying there until the alcohol and exhaustion ran their course. She had the next day off anyway; really, the only things she had to do were check in with Wheein, make sure the younger girl was fine after all that drinking, and drive herself crazy over whether or not she should take Hyejin up on her offer and meet up with her. Because regardless of what Hyejin believed about Yongsun trusting her, Byulyi knew with disappointing, heartbreaking, objective fact that Yongsun won’t come to her now.

So sure of that fact and so swept up in her exhaustion, tipsiness, and general mixture of anxiety and worry, she nearly missed the scratching coming from her room’s balcony door. She laid there for a minute more, nearly surrendering to sleep before the scratching picked up in fervor, accompanied by a soft crying meow.

Byulyi was on her feet before her eyes even fully opened.

She didn’t bother to check out the window before she threw her balcony door open so hard the glass nearly shattered.

A small, striped, light brown cat, covered in dirt, mud, leaves, twigs, and general misery blinked up at her with wobbly light brown eyes.

“Yongsun...” Byulyi whispered as she fell to her knees, her heart unclenching its accumulated anxiety and worry with a gasp of relief.

And she said nothing more when the dirty skittish cat slowly approached and hesitantly laid her paw on Byulyi’s knee.

Byulyi didn’t quite know what to say in the minutes thereafter so she said nothing as she sat on the floor next to her shower, socks off and sleeves and pants rolled up, her handheld showerhead on the gentlest setting, rinsing the dirt and mud out of Yongsun’s fur. For the best really; nothing she’s said the last time they talked ended up helping their situation. And this too, Yongsun showing up, Yongsun trusting her enough to let Byulyi wash her cat form; how much more could Byulyi be wrong about?

For her part, Yongsun hadn’t ‘said’ anything either aside from her initial rousing cry. She wouldn’t let Byulyi pick her up, but she followed the younger girl into the shower willingly. She let Byulyi wash her, not reacting even when Byulyi’s hands drifted close to the cat dangerzone. Ears flat, eyes shut, and nostrils flaring in a nervous rhythm, Yongsun looked scared and defeated.

Slowly carding her fingers through the fur, Byulyi bit her lip when her fingers found burrs tangled deep in. “Sorry,” she whispered before tugging them off as gently as she could, guilt tumbling in her chest when Yongsun flinched.

Her apologies hung in the small space with the shower steam. It floated about and clung to the tile walls and rolled down in weak rivulets that Byulyi wondered if at this point they meant anything anymore.

Not long after Byulyi laid on her bed again, Yongsun curled up in her warmest, softest towel right next to her. Nearly completely hidden in the towel, Byulyi couldn’t tell what kind of expression was on Yongsun’s face - not like she fully absorbed all those articles on feline body language anyway. But Yongsun was no longer shivering, appearing like just a sleepy cat curled up on Byulyi’s bed.

After Byulyi flicked off her desk lamp and settled back down, it wasn’t too long before her bedmate shuffled closer to her; she laid still when she felt a warm nose press itself to her jawline and trace down to her neck where the rest of the furry head it was attached to made itself comfortable. When she turned her head to lay more comfortably on her pillow, lips brushing against a furry head, Yongsun rumbled an approving purr.

“Comfortable?” Byulyi whispered, lips pulling up into a small smile as she reached over and ran a gentle hand down Yongsun’s back.

Yongsun responded by curling closer.

In the dark of her room, the only sounds were her breaths intermingling with Yongsun’s purrs. It wasn’t the awkward weighted silence that had clung to them in her living room the last time she saw Yongsun. Instead, the silence was gentle. Soft.

Byulyi almost felt bad for breaking it. “So I met Hyejin earlier. Again. Apparently we’ve met before but I didn’t know it.”

The purr against her collarbone stopped for a brief moment as if Yongsun had tensed up.

“A lot of things I’m realizing I didn’t know lately.” Byulyi ran a comforting hand down Yongsun’s back. “I’ve realized I’ve been hurting you - hurting us - every time I pretended I was fine with things or pretended I was over it when I wasn’t. I thought I was doing us a favor by burying all the stuff I didn’t like. I thought I was avoiding fights.” Byulyi shut her eyes and took in a deep breath. Yongsun was so warm next to her. Was it because she was a cat now that made all these carefully guarded truths more bearable to say?

A soft meow caught her attention and she pulled back just enough to be face to face with her bedmate.

Yongsun’s light brown eyes seemed to give off the same soft glow Hyejin’s eyes did earlier. Hyejin might have the gold eyes, but Byulyi was being completely unbiased in thinking that the soft glow from Yongsun’s brown eyes were a whole different class of beautiful. Slowly and almost purposely, Yongsun’s eyes slid shut before opening after a few seconds.

“You must be sleepy. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble on,” Byulyi started but was cut off when Yongsun’s paw landed on her chin.

‘Pay attention, Byul-ah!’ The frown on the cat’s face seemed to say.

Yongsun repeated the gesture a few more times, eyes slowly closing for a few seconds before they opened to look up expectantly at a confused Byulyi.

“Uh, right. Blink blink to you too.”

It was amusing how she could see Yongsun’s same exact exasperated expression on the cat in front of her. But nonetheless, Yongsun must’ve been satisfied with her response because soon she went back to curling against Byulyi’s neck.

“So. I guess what I was trying to say when I was rambling earlier is: I’m sorry, I was afraid.” Byulyi paused when Yongsun nuzzled into her. Comforting. She couldn’t help but press a kiss onto the furry head next to her. “I was afraid you’d find me… really, really pitiful. I was afraid people would think I’m weak. Well, I mean, I am, but…I guess,” She swallowed the sudden lump in . “Thinking it to yourself is one thing, having the people around you, having the person you love, think that of you…. It kinda . And I was so paranoid of that happening, I turned everything inward.”

The more she spoke, the more she realized the extent of the truth in her confessions, what she’d spent so long keeping inside until it festered. Wheein’s words at dinner, Hyejin’s steadfast belief in Yongsun’s trust, Yongsun’s words during their last fight. She could finally make sense of them now.

“If you don’t tell her what you’re really thinking, and she knows, don’t you think that’ll stress Yongsun-unnie out more?”

“She trusts you.”

“You never tell me how you actually feel so we never work anything out.”

“I bottled everything up and let it rot til I was afraid of doing anything that would let it spill out. So. Yeah, you’re right. You were right the whole time, Yongsun-ah.” She chuckled halfheartedly. “I never work anything out because it’s easier than trying and messing up.”

Warm, gentle hands cupped her face. “I wish you’d been honest with me earlier,” Yongsun whispered.

When Byulyi finally let the tension and fears in her body go, she opened her eyes to Yongsun’s beautiful face, clear to her even in the dark. Yongsun inched closer, legs brushing and tangling with her own under the bedsheets. She was so warm.

Byulyi reached up and wrapped her hand around Yongsun’s wrist. Solid. Warm. Present. She basked in that warm presence, soaked it up. “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

“And I don’t think you’re weak,” Yongsun said firmly. “Moon Byulyi, you tease and joke around too much, but you’re the gentlest, most supportive person I know. You… That’s not weak at all.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Byulyi mumbled, hiding her blush behind Yongsun’s hand.

Yongsun’s lips curled up and they laid there gazing at each other, taking in each other’s presence. This rare, bare honesty.

Speaking of ‘bare,’ Byulyi reached for the change of clothes she’d brought with her earlier after washing Yongsun - she was prepared this time. Wordlessly, she handed off the clothes and stared up at the ceiling as Yongsun dressed in a baggy old t-shirt and shorts.

With a sigh, Yongsun slid back under the sheets next to her, legs tangling with hers again.They faced each other in the dark, sharing soft breaths. For a while, they just breathed and enjoyed the comfortable presence they’d both been missing.

The exhaustion of everything that had occurred this evening coursed through Byulyi’s veins along with the remnants of the soju she had overindulged on. Byulyi’s eyelids drooped and her breath evened out along the slowing pulse of her heartbeat. Here in her bed, Yongsun before her, and her truth between them, she could finally relax.

Underneath the sheets, Yongsun tugged her hand into hers, fingers lacing together.

Byulyi pressed a smile into her pillow. Yongsun watched her, seemingly soothed by the sight of Byulyi falling asleep, her eyes softly aglow. That reminded Byulyi of something, something she wanted to ask Yongsun about, but she’s too much asleep to recall.

Ah, that’s right...

“I know I should’ve been more honest,” Byulyi mumbled into her pillow, eyes sliding shut, “but I wish you’d told me you were a cat earlier.”

In the darkness behind her eyelids, consciousness nearly swallowed up by sleep, Byulyi heard Yongsun’s voice, “It’s a curse.”

The grip on her hand under the sheets tightened, just enough pressure to get Byulyi to peek an eye open and ask, “A curse?”

She felt fingers brush her bangs back from her forehead before she heard Yongsun’s reply. “The cat is a curse; one that lives in my family. When we’re stressed or scared, the curse takes over.”

Cat… Yongsun becomes a cat when she’s scared… Then that day at the park… How much stress and fear had she caused in Yongsun to have her change?

“When you said you wanted to end this, I didn’t know what to think. I changed,” Yongsun whispered, voice wavering in the dark. “And you still wanted to help. You always do, Byul-ah. That’s what I love about you.”

A shuffle and Yongsun pressed their foreheads together. “But we were still fresh from that stupid fight and I kept remembering everything we were saying to each other. I kept remembering every time you walked away from an argument; I thought you would walk away this time too. So I left first. I ran.” Yongsun’s breath was hot against her lips. Her next words were so soft, Byulyi wasn’t sure if she actually heard it or if it was something her dreams whispered to her in the dark. “I thought I could outrun this. But I couldn’t, Byul-ah. I couldn’t control my fear. And I kept running and hiding. And…”

Soft lips, salty with tears pressed against the corner of her lips, a barely-there presence that was gone before Byulyi finally succumbed to sleep.

“... I’m not gonna run from it anymore.”

For the first time in two weeks, Byulyi slept peacefully, wrapped in the comfort and warmth of Yongsun’s presence. For the first time in two weeks, Byulyi felt hopeful; the truth that lay between her and Yongsun, it wasn’t something to be afraid of. They could handle it together and they will. With this new small, gentle honesty between them, Byulyi was more sure of herself than ever before.

It’s with this hope at the forefront of her mind when Byulyi woke up the next morning after the best night’s rest she’s had in a while and turned to find herself alone in her bed, alone in her room; the only signs of Yongsun being the discarded cat hair and borrowed sleep clothes and the little note scrawled, “thank you for sharing your feelings. thank you for loving me. thank you for so much that you’ve given me, Byulyi.” tucked gently under her phone.

Σ(;Φ ω Φ)

is this ahn hyejin?

Byulyi-unnieee, hi

we need to talk about the curse