Chapter 2

/ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \

As soon as her door slammed shut behind her, Byulyi let everything drop. Yongsun’s purse, heels, and clothes fwumped to the floor and the cat bounded away from her arms and landed almost gracefully on her kitchen countertop, knocking and spilling the open box of cornflakes sitting precariously at the edge.

Byulyi slid down against her door and took a moment.

A very brief moment to scream “what the hell just happened????” as loudly as her mind could.

Images and clips of the last hour kept trying to replay in her head as her brain tried to make sense of what had occurred. Like an old VCR tape, frazzled and spotty, the images wouldn’t align: nothing was coming together and all Byulyi’s frantic mind could remember was the sight of Yongsun’s wide brown eyes, shimmering with the beginning of tears.

I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.

But didn’t she? If it’s always the same ugly feelings that cropped up and clogged , didn’t some small part of her want to leave it all behind?

Leave behind the cold fear that this was her best, that this was all she’ll ever be. Even if it’s not enough for Yongsun.

Her finger curled into a trembling fist and then her body chose that time to remember that her hand was scratched and bleeding.

Hissing loudly enough that the cat - Yongsun??? - jumped and growled in warning, Byulyi stumbled to her feet in search of tissues or bandages or, or something. Physical pain is good; it was grounding, something to distract her mind from the image of a hurt Yongsun as well as the image of Yongsun disappearing and what, turning into a cat?

Byulyi spared the cat a side glance as she tugged a handful of tissues out of its box. It - she? - was following every movement, slitted pupils trained on the tissues she was carelessly slapping onto her scratches. It was hunched, head low in a posture that reminded her of when she would visit Wheein and bait Ggomo with a wriggly toy: body tense and coiled, ready to spring at any moment.

Her hand and sleeves were still wet from dipping into the duck pond to grab the cat out.The more she dabbed at her wounds with the flimsy tissue material, the more it kept breaking and balling up in clumps around the scratches. Grumbling under her breath, Byulyi decided the best course of action was to wipe harder with more tissues. So concentrated in her efforts to mentally force wet tissue to not disintegrate on contact, it took her a few minutes to recognize the loud meowing coming from her kitchen counter.

When she looked up the cat had managed to open the cabinet with the first aid kit Yongsun had insisted she keep on hand.

“Unnie, that’s just gonna take up space.”

“Everyone needs a first aid kit!”

“I’m not clumsy like you, unnie.”

But she had still smiled to herself when Yongsun carefully packed up bandages and antibacterial wipes and ointments inside a little Apeach character zip-up pack.

Parked in front of the cabinet, tail swishing back and forth on the counter, the cat stared at her over a shoulder. It looked up at the first aid kit, just barely poking out amidst all the other things crammed in the cabinet Byulyi didn’t really use, then back at Byulyi, meowing loudly.

“Byul-ah! Stop dawdling!”

A little shaken at just how clearly she could hear Yongsun’s voice and see her expression from the cat’s mannerisms, Byulyi slowly approached, still half fearful of the cat scratching her again. But it just watched as Byulyi reached overhead for the first aid kit; paced back and forth impatiently as Byulyi clumsily cleaned the scratches and plastered on a few bandages.

Every once in a while the cat would vocally complain, meowing and squeaking, light brown eyes glaring at Byulyi’s halting movements.

As she packed away the supplies Byulyi rolled her eyes and the words slipped out before she remembered what she was dealing with, “Yeah, yeah, but we don’t all have first aid certifications, unnie.”

The cat’s ears flicked forward before it meowed shrilly, sounding too much like Yong’s pouts when she wouldn’t get her way and Byulyi would .

Byulyi froze.

The cat stopped mid-complaint as their eyes found each other.

That’s right.

Here in her kitchen, Byulyi was talking to a cat - one that her brain is increasingly ready to just accept is her ex. That would be the simplest explanation right? Of course it was: Byulyi and Yongsun had some incredibly vocal disagreements following several weeks of a rocky relationship status, Byulyi made the hasty decision to call it off, and Yongsun turned into a cat. Makes perfect sense.

“The hell it does!” Byulyi shouted, running her hands through her dark brown hair, seconds away from tearing them out in frustration.

Jumping at her sudden voice, the cat watched her, wide-eyed and cautious.

Hands grabbing at her kitchen counter in white-knuckled desperation, Byulyi groaned and shook her hair messily. “What the hell-... what does this mean?”

The cat stared back, light brown eyes shimmering and on edge.

“Is that… Yongsun, that’s you right?” Byulyi’s voice shook and strangely, tightening her grip on the countertop and forcing herself to stay still did nothing to keep the waver from her voice or the clenching in her heart. “It really is you, right? This isn’t some weird joke. Right?”

It didn’t make sense. It shouldn’t be physically possible. But the way the cat had acted just now; that was Yongsun poking and prodding and motherhenning her into pulling out the first aid kit that had never seen the light of day ever since Yongsun first gave it to her, that was Yongsun and complaining about the lack of proper first aid technique.

It didn’t make sense, but that... this has to be Yongsun.

This is Yongsun.

For as much as Yongsun had an occasional playful streak she would let loose uninhibited, she would never do this to her, drawing out a prank to the point of Byulyi wanting to cry.

Just as much as you would never have put that heartbreak on Yongsun’s face. Or so you thought.

Byulyi shook the words from her mind and reached for the cat only for her to lean away, head tucking back into her shoulders like a turtle.

Fingers just barely brushing the top of her furry head, Byulyi met the cat’s frantic and darting eyes. “Yongsun?” She whispered.

Finally this close without the cat trying to fight her, Byulyi saw the tiny shivers she was trying to hide behind a fierce and firm glare. A little trail of pond water ran around her kitchen countertop and Byulyi remembered they both needed to dry off.

First things first: take care of the things easier to take care of instead of spiralling into a panic and anxiety induced confusion over her ex turning into a cat.

ing and tossing her wet blazer somewhere in the vicinity of her couch, Byulyi held up her hands, trying to run through the logistics of picking up Yongsun. “C’mon, we gotta dry you off.”

Yongsun ducked and weaved between her hands and slid over to the opposite end of the countertop, slipping on the wet surface and crushing the cornflakes she had spilled a few minutes ago.

“Yong, seriously just-”

Yongsun glared at her, fur trying to stand on end even as it was weighed down from the pond water. The meow she released sounded too much like a ‘no!’ that Byulyi made a mental note to look up if cats could learn to speak.

“Meow!”

“You’re shivering!”

“Meoooow.” The cat hissed and she would’ve sounded threatening if she wasn’t suddenly wracked by a loud sneezing fit.

Byulyi didn’t even try to hide the smug smile on her face.

Seeing it the cat growled and swiveled around, limbs tensed to spring.

“Oh no you don’t!” Byulyi leapt the same time Yongsun tried to escape to the front door.

“Yong, sto-”

With a shriek, Yongsun evaded her again and made a 90-degree turn away from the front door and onto Byulyi’s bookshelf, knocking over her collectibles and knick-knacks. Byulyi followed, elegantly slamming into her bookshelf with a bang, grunting when she aggravated her wounded hand.

From the other end of the bookshelf Yongsun growled, lips drawn back over sharp fangs. When she leapt off the bookshelf for the couch, her tail knocked over a few framed photographs Byulyi had decorating the end. The frames wobbled and tipped over, smashing as they hit the floor. Yongsun landed on the old couch with a bounce and skittered under the coffee table.

Her scratches still lightly pulsing in pain from running into the shelves, Byulyi stopped and breathed. It kinda felt like this, didn’t it? Chasing after Yongsun - not just in the literal sense. Yongsun chased her passions and Byulyi, well, Byulyi chased after Yongsun.

With a grunt, Byulyi flipped over one of the frames, mindful of the broken glass. It was a blurry picture of her and Yongsun at the ski resort they went to a few months after getting together. It wasn’t a good picture: their faces weren’t focused, neither of them were looking at the camera, and Yong’s old phone camera had a tendency to make everything look a little foggy. But Byulyi had her lips pressed to Yongsun’s flushed cheek and the older girl was smiling so hard her eyes were cresents. It wasn’t a good picture, but Byulyi loved it more than any picture she’d ever taken for work.

Dragging her knees across her floor, Byulyi slumped next to the coffee table, broken frame in hand.

Light brown eyes peered up at her from underneath the shadows of the table, flickering from the photo and back.

Sighing, Byulyi tipped over and laid on the ground, cheek pressed into her cold hardwood floor.

Yongsun crouched down, face tucked behind paws.

Slowly, Byulyi extended her hand halfway between them. “Unnie, let me help you.”

In the dimness under the coffee table, the pupils of Yongsun’s light brown eyes were blown open. They peered back at Byulyi, wide and shimmering and so much like the Yongsun earlier at the park.

Byulyi’s heart clenched. Yes she chased after Yongsun every time the older girl took off, jumping headfirst into some new idea or opportunity. But she never resented supporting Yongsun. However she might feel about her own stagnant self, Byulyi loved taking care of Yongsun: holding her when she needed it, encouraging her during her rare bouts of insecurity, and loving her when everything Yongsun did made her feel light and adrift. It almost made Byulyi feel enough. Almost.

“Yongsun-ah,” she whispered when she felt a wet, cold nose gently brush the very tip of her finger.

/ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \

In the silence of her dimly-lit apartment, Byulyi sat on the floor against her couch, gently drying the oddly quiet cat between her legs. Fluffy towel draped over the tiny form, Byulyi rubbed the moisture from the fur on Yongsun’s back, slightly amused when Yongsun tipped her head back, eyes sliding shut with a soft, rumbling purr.

Cute.

When Byulyi’s hand drifted too close to the cat’s chest and belly, Yongsun’s eyes shot open and she let out what could only be a warning growl. Byulyi remembered the stinging pain in her hand from the last time the cat didn’t appreciate it near her. But seeing how small and tiny Yongsun looked swaddled in her bath towel, it was too cute to be threatening.

Byulyi snorted even as Yongsun’s eyes narrowed at her, fingers scratching behind an ear over the bath towel. “I get it, I get it. Not on the belly.”

Slightly irritated, Yongsun huffed but resumed enjoying the ear scratches.

“Even as a cat, that watermelon belly’s still there, huh?”

“Meoooow!”

For the first time that day, Byulyi laughed. “‘Even as a cat’,” she repeated between breaths. “Wow, can’t believe how quick I got on board with that.”

Light brown eyes blinked up at her.

“I really didn’t have this in mind when I said I wanted to talk today.”

The cat dipped down and lazily lapped at the fur on its chest.

“Yongsun, what are we doing?” Byulyi mumbled, hand stilling over the towel behind Yongsun’s ear.

Was Yongsun going to stay as a cat forever? Was there a cure for sudden-cat syndrome? How was she going to take care of her? Did she have the right to take care of her after… well, it was kind of her fault Yongsun was like this, in a way, right? Byulyi said they should break up and then Yongsun was a cat. Causation, correlation, one of those things was in there between Yongsun and the cat.

She was shaken from her thoughts when her phone went off. Byulyi scrambled to pull it from her  pocket and when she answered it was Wheein’s voice that responded.

“Wheein?”

“Unnie, where are you? You never came back  from lunch!”

“Ah, yeah that,” Byulyi stared at Yongsun and Yongsun stared back. “There was a, a… kinda-”

“Manager is gonna get on your case; he’s already getting on mine.”

“Yeah, sorry, Wheein. I’ll try and…” Byulyi’s voice trailed off.

“Unnie? Is everything alright?”

“Fine- I’m fine… It’s all good,” Byulyi said distractedly, watching Yongsun’s ear flick in warning. “Actually, there is something.”

“Unnie?”

Yongsun’s eyes narrowed into slits and Byulyi found herself leaning as far back into her couch as she could, heart picking up pace in her chest.

“Wheein-ah, cats! Whatdoyouknowabout-”

“Unnie, slow down, I can’t understand what you’re saying-”

Wheein’s voice trailed off as a hand gripped over Byulyi’s and pulled her phone away.

Yongsun - human Yongsun, the Yongsun that had disappeared into a cloud of smoke right in front of her - glared at her with her piercing brown eyes under her slightly damp hair.

Byulyi’s eyes traced Yongsun’s face, feeling like she hadn’t seen her in forever when it’s only been about an hour.

The bath towel that had swallowed her cat form just a few minutes ago was barely covering her now. Yongsun has one hand holding it close in front of her chest and despite having seen it all, Byulyi resolutely keeps her eyes strictly above shoulder-level.

“Hello? Unnie, you still there?”

Wheein’s voice drifts from her phone and Byulyi tugs at her phone.

Yongsun maintains her grip; the muscles in her arm that Byulyi once about but very quietly admired in private flexing as she kept the phone away.

“Uh,” Byulyi her lips.

Even as her eyes followed the movement, Yongsun shook her head. The message was clear: Wheein can’t know.

When those piercing brown eyes softened from a glare to pleading, Byulyi knew there was nothing else she could do. Not when Yongsun looked at her like that.

She gently shook Yongsun’s hand off and spoke into her phone, “Yeah, yeah. I’m here. There was an emergency and I had to go.”

Silence on the other end before Wheein responded. “Unnie, are you in some kind of trouble?”

Maybe, she didn’t say. “No, I’ll be fine, Wheein. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Wheein didn’t sound convinced and honestly Byulyi wasn’t so convinced herself so she didn’t blame the younger girl, but Wheein let it go and promised to cover for her at work and they bid each other goodbye.

Byulyi dropped her phone onto the coffee table and the silence that followed her phone conversation gradually built up into an awkward crescendo - every other noise was so much more noticeable: her heartbeat thudding in her ears, her nervous gulps, Yongsun’s bare knees squeaking against her hardwood floor, and the bath towel sliding down Yongsun’s shoulder.

She was pulling it back over Yongsun’s shoulder and readjusting the towel before she even realized it. When she did, Yongsun was looking at her, specifically her bandaged hand, with an unreadable expression. Byulyi’s seen that look a few times, mostly when Yongsun was staring off into the distance and not realizing Byulyi was quietly studying her. She still hadn’t quite figured out the specifics of the look, but she knew it wasn’t anything positive considering how it took an extra tight hug from Byulyi for the look to slowly diminish.

“Um,” she said at the same time Yongsun said, “Can I borrow a shirt?”

A few minutes later, Byulyi sat stiff-backed on her couch, foot tapping a nervous beat beneath her. Yongsun had taken the proffered t-shirt and disappeared into Byulyi’s bathroom.

Neither of them had said anything to each other during the whole exchange; Yongsun wouldn’t even meet her eyes.

In the silence, all the questions from earlier came rushing back: what’s going on, what were they doing, what happened to Yongsun, was that a normal thing, how was Yongsun so weirdly stoic about having spent the last hour as a cat? And the one thought she was trying and failing to shove aside: what were they now?

Byulyi ran a tired hand over her face. So many little things that didn’t make sense on top of all the other things that made her lose sense when it came to Yongsun.

A click from down the hall signalled that Yongsun was done and Byulyi shot out of her seat as Yongsun approached, wearing one of Byulyi’s oversized t-shirts. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun and her hands were busy with stuffing her dirty and torn blouse into her purse.

“Thanks for the shirt; I’ll bring it back tomorrow,” Yongsun said without looking up.

Byulyi panicked. “Yong, wait.”

With a sigh, Yongsun finally met her gaze with her piercing brown eyes. Byulyi wanted to look assertive, Byulyi wanted to look like she was demanding answers, but from the way Yongsun’s expression softened ever so slightly, that clearly wasn’t the atmosphere she was projecting.

Byulyi slumped when Yongsun stepped into the kitchen and she wasn’t proud of how quickly she perked up when Yongsun returned.

Quickly, but not roughly, Yongsun placed the first aid kit on the coffee table and pulled Byulyi’s hand into her lap. With a concentrated effort that was most likely an excuse to avoid eye contact, Yongsun discarded Byulyi’s clumsily placed bandages and redid them with expert efficiency.

Byulyi watched as she did so, eyes so focused on her work. With her hair pulled back, her round cheeks stood out even more and Byulyi’s free hand twitched with the desire to brush her fingers across them.

“It was bugging me earlier.”

Startled when Yongsun finally spoke up, Byulyi blinked. “What?”

Yongsun applied a fresh roll of bandages around the scratches. “You finally used the first aid kit I got you and you didn’t even use it properly.”

“I wouldn’t have needed it in the first place if you hadn’t scratched me.”

They both froze.

I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said anything at all today. Why did I say any of these things-

Yongsun breathed deeply and Byulyi felt her exhale sweep across her skin.

“Woah, nose air.”

“Yah!”

Byulyi bit her lip when Yongsun gently swatted her arm in response to her tease.

They fell into another heavy silence, both very conscious of all the questions Byulyi needed to ask. Yongsun held Byulyi’s hand in hers, running a finger gently across the top of the bandages and stopping at Byulyi’s fingers.

Byulyi hooked her finger around Yongsun’s and said, “Yongsun-unnie, what’s going on?”

The older girl took a deep shuddering breath. “I’m changing your bandages because you at it.”

“No, unnie. What happened earlier... “

Yongsun’s grip tightened.

“... so you were yourself earlier, does that mean you got a hairball coming up soon?”

“Oh my god, you little-” Yongsun glared up at her, cheeks flushing and instead of the smug, teasing grin she was expecting, there was a wavering half-smile.

“Hey,” Byulyi said quietly, a smile trembling on her lips.

This close Byulyi could see her own reflection in those brown eyes. Surely she didn’t look as lost and weak as the her in that reflection? What did Yongsun see?

Yongsun nibbled on her lips, eyes searching Byulyi’s face as her thumb rubbed nervous patterns across the back of Byulyi’s hand. Her lips parted and Byulyi tensed under her hand but no words came out. Eventually she sighed and turned away, Byulyi’s hand slipping out of her grip.

Byulyi knew it was coming when Yongsun wouldn’t face her but the crushing disappointment that flooded her heart still hurt. Evidently whatever Yongsun saw in her face wasn’t enough for her to just talk to Byulyi about what all this was.

Because the last time you guys tried to talk turned out so well.

She wanted to cry. But she can’t let Yongsun see that. Sniffing and clearing , Byulyi coughed awkwardly and said, “Alright, fine. Cool.” at the same time Yongsun said, “Byul-ah-”

The older girl still wouldn’t face her, body angled away from her on the couch, but Byulyi could see the white-knuckled grip she had on her skirt, fingers twitching with internal turmoil.

Her words were halting, as if even after turning them over and over again in her mind she was still unsure of them. “That was… the thing is… I, ah, I actually… It’s a…”

Seeing Yongsun so unsure of her footing, so shaken, and so small - quite literally small for the better part of the last hour, like portable small - left Byulyi reeling. Yongsun had all the answers and even when she didn’t, she marched on in search of them anyway. If Yongsun was floundering then Byulyi should be downright terrified.

The anxiety piled up in her chest and Byulyi didn’t have time to engage her brain-mouth filter before she said, “Yong, I saw you turn into a cat. Whatever you have to say or, or whatever explanation you have, just say it!”

“It’s not that simple,” Yongsun hissed out as her head shot up to shoot Byulyi an annoyed frown.

“Yong, none of this is simple. I think we would’ve worked it out way earlier if it was,” Byulyi shot back. Neither of them needed any clarification as to just which ‘this ’ referred to: both the cat and the relationship were equally fitting and demanded equal attention at present.

“What do you care about ‘working it out?’ You never tell me how you actually feel so we never work anything out.”

Yongsun’s words echoed the same conversation they had earlier at the park and every conversation they had during their fights. So much so that Byulyi froze and couldn’t find it in her to move or say anything when Yongsun abruptly stood up and grabbed her purse, marching to her discarded heels by the front door. She had one heel on and was wiggling her foot into the other by the time Byulyi had enough sense to stand up and follow her.

“Can you at least tell me what’s going on, Yongsun? What the hell was that back there?” Byulyi tried, voice on the edge of pleading. Her brain turned over Yongsun’s words over and over again and how the only conclusion it can reach is that it’s over, everything is over because you were always wrong and you never fixed anything.

“Just forget it happened.”

A small part of that response echoed as ‘forget we happened’ in her treacherous mind.

Byulyi shook her head. Maybe so. Maybe this is the end but, she had to know if Yongsun was all right.  “The cat thing, it… It’s not a disease or, or some kinda virus right? You’re not hurt, right?”

Her back was turned to her so Byulyi couldn’t see her expression when Yongsun snorted and said, “‘Not hurt?’ ‘Not hurt?’” Her voice trembled with incredulity. Her head dipped down for a second and Byulyi almost missed her next words, “Asking me that when you’re the one who wanted to…”

With a long steadying breath, Yongsun opened her door and had one foot out before she turned to glance over her shoulder, “It’s in your best interest to forget what happened today.”

“Forget- How do you expect me to-”

“I know you don’t like dealing with complications so trust me when I say it’ll be simpler for you to just let it go. Pretend it was indigestion or a hallucination.” Yongsun’s voice was terse and cold in a way that made Byulyi recoil from the almost physical blow it dealt her. “I’ll drop your shirt and your key off tomorrow. You don’t have to be here.”

Then Yongsun was gone.

/ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \

In the silence of her dimly-lit apartment, Byulyi slumped on the floor next to her couch. Pond water dripped from her kitchen counter and onto the hardwood floor. If she glanced down she can make out the clumps of light brown fur that dotted her floor and furniture.

“You never tell me how you actually feel so we never work anything out.”

A brief flash of anger coursed through her. Of course she couldn’t, it would just make their arguments and fights worse if she let everything out. Worse, her words might make Yongsun upset, might make her cry. And there was no way Byulyi could allow that to happen.

Too late. It already did.

Byulyi sighed out tiredly, anger dispersing with her exhale. A few strands of cat fur fluttered up and drifted in the air.

Yongsun was right: she did tend to take the simpler path whether it be disagreements with clients at work or arguments with Yong at home. The simpler path was supposed to keep everyone happy, smooth things over; it was supposed to make everything easier to deal with.

But clinging to the simple path led them to that neighborhood park, to that final argument, and to that cat.

After everything that happened…

Byulyi rubbed a few strands of cat fur between her fingers. “How the hell am I supposed to forget?”

/ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \

Yongsun made it inside her apartment and made it through a short yoga routine before she slumped down at her kitchen table with her face in her hands.

“How was Byulyi-unnie?”

She shot up in her seat and spun around to see a pair of golden eyes observing her from the doorway of her bedroom.

“She’s…” Yongsun quickly sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “She’s fine.”

Silence as the golden eyes lazily glanced down at the bright yellow oversized t-shirt Yongsun was wearing that definitely did not belong to her.

“You cancelled on lunch so suddenly after she texted you to meet up, I got worried.”

Yongsun was about to speak some reassurances when she suddenly froze, realizing the unspoken rest of that sentence. Trembling brown eyes met gold. “Did you… did you see what happened?”

A tail swished and footfalls padded quietly into her kitchen. “Byulyi-unnie knows.”

It wasn’t a question.

Heart thudding in her chest, Yongsun’s hands shook and her legs suddenly couldn’t hold her up.

In Yongsun’s homey kitchenette, a large paw gently swept the small shivering striped cat into an embrace.

“It’ll be okay, unnie. It’ll be okay.”

/ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \ /ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \ /ᐠ-ᆽ-ᐟ \