Walk into a smoke-filled room

Oh, no one could keep their eyes off you

Have a little drink or two

Oh, how could you be that girl I knew?

- Mako

Seulgi was a mess. The exams were finally over but she wasn't like the other students - cheering and celebrating with a new lightness that came with the end of finals. She was also not like some who were fretting over their mistakes, worry etched onto their faces. (Really, you could see the different types of students on days like these.) 

She was, however, filled with a feeling of helplessness and dread and just, of everything negative that had absolutely nothing to do with the exams.

Seulgi wasn't always like this but clearly things that had happened this year had changed her drastically. Normally, the end of exams would warrant happy grins and end of year parties that she would always say no to but accept when Joohyun gives her that face and a kiss on the cheek when she begrudgingly nods her head. 

This year, though, all she had left after the exams was a feeling of emptiness and an invite to the biggest party of the year. It was the biggest because apparantly, it was the last year of high school and Joy had wanted to go out with a bang. She had invited every single one of their batchmates to the party and knowing Joy, it was definitely going to involve a lot of alcohol.

She didn't feel like going but Joy, Wendy and even Yeri had barged into her room one day and announced that she was "definitely not going to sulk miserably here." They had, one by one, tried to persuade her to go to the party and truly, it was only with their concerted effort that she agreed to go. After all, she didn't want the two to know about her little secret and besides, this party could be her distraction. 

The moment she had agreed to go, she was dragged to her closet by Joy, who had ransacked her entire wardrobe in just a few minutes. She sighed internally before giving Joy a hard glare that was cold enough to stop her from doing whatever she was doing with her clothes. 

"Okay, okay, fine. You decide but you're not showing up in sweatpants." Wendy and Yeri snickered at the predicament Seulgi was in and proceeded to talk about Ariana's controversial hit song. What great friends.

Looking through all the clothes she had amassed over the past few years, she finally decided that she wanted to pull a casual look since it also meant comfort. She wasn't going to impress anyway.

She had chosen skinny jeans and a white t-shirt, topped with a black bomber jacket. It would definitely give people an impression of insouciance.

"You look good, but let's put a little make-up on you first." 

It was a bad idea.

The moment she had stepped into the mansion at exactly seven in the evening, she was swarmed with teenagers here and there trying to get to Joy, the host and life of the party. She was unfortunately, at one point, squashed between this tall, muscular guy and Joy that she had no breathing space. 

It was a totally bad idea, agreeing to attend this party with Joy. At least with Joohyun, Seulgi wasn't brutally thrown around like a ball in a pinball machine. 

"Let me take care of this first." 

Still in a daze, Seulgi removed herself from Joy's arm around her shoulders and headed to the stools placed haphazardly around the house. Already nursing a slight headache, what with the chatter and music blending with each other, Seulgi groaned internally. What a party indeed. She wanted to go home already.

She grabbed a can of beer, knowing she shouldn't but who cared anyway?

Wendy had gone out with Yeri to get more chips and ice and Seulgi had wanted to tag along but Joy was adamant in having one of them stay with her. Seulgi was obviously the lucky one. 

Joy was nowhere to be seen and Seulgi sighed once again. She was probably already chatting up someone. 

Around her were red cups and empty chairs, loud beats and flickering lights. The students drank, danced wildly and stood on chairs to shout the end of high school. She was surrounded by so many yet she still felt so lonely. She continued her observations and ruminations.

Suddenly, her vision of the party was blocked by someone wearing a mini black dress. Seulgi knew who she was immediately. However, she was still breathless at the sight of her, still captivated by her very presence. She didn't want to feel like this but god knows she tried.  

"Wow, you look great." Maybe it was the alcohol loosening her lips but she couldn't stop the compliments flowing out . She hadn't really spoken to her but she knew that they had not ended on bad terms. They just... drifted.

"Thanks, you look good yourself." Joohyun smiled a little. She stood there, while Seulgi sat and gazed at the blurring crowd. When Seulgi looked back at her, she knew exactly what she was thinking of. Her face was scrunched up a little, a frown marring her pretty face. Seulgi knew that Irene wanted to say something but didn't know how to phrase it.

She knew because Joohyun had told her before, when she had looked at their dance instructor with the same exact expression and Seulgi had asked. And, Joohyun, she told her everything. But now, Joohyun's face showed that Seulgi was a person she could no longer be entirely free and truthful with.

It unnerved her greatly. 

"Do you