‘I quit.’

Chang’s eyes flip up, blink twice. He takes a few seconds for the information to settle in his stomach.

He bursts out laughing.

Yoongi’s ears are fuming red, ‘what?’ He barks, ‘what’s so funny?’

‘You?’ Chang slams the table with his palm, laughter falling out of him like a cascade of water, ‘you’re quitting?’ He bursts out laughing once again before reaching over for his calendar, ‘wait—wait— is it april fool’s day today?’

‘I’m serious. I won’t say it again.’ Yoongi clenches his teeth together. Stares hard and right into the older man’s eyes, ‘I quit.’

‘You can’t quit.’ Chang replied so casually it makes Yoongi’s heart drop a little.

But he doesn’t lose his composure. Instead, he walks up to the desk and puts down his room keys atop Chang’s desk.

‘I quit.’ He repeats, before taking a step back and slipping his hands into the back pocket of his jeans.

Chang’s eyes look at the keys, as if fascinated that they even bear an existence, before they whip up once more to stare into Yoongi’s impassive face. There is no denying the fact that he is still the leader, no matter how much the blonde tries ignoring that fact. Chang leafs this gang for a reason and not any stupid one. Yoongi has to tread on careful, slippery waters.

‘You can’t quit, Yoongi. It’s as simple as that.’

‘Why not?’

Chang’s eyes narrow into threatening slits, ‘then all these years worth training you would be for nothing.’ ’

‘I didn’t ask you to take me in.’

‘But I did and you owe me,’ Chang lets out a guffaw, as if this whole situation is amusing him while Yoongi’s fists clench so hard he can feel his nails digging into his palm, ‘I don’t owe you anything,’ Yoongi says,’ nor do I have to. I’m sick of playing murderer. I don’t want this life.’

‘You don’t choose your life, kid. And plus, where would you go? There’s no place to hide for someone like you. Who’d take you in? You barely have any records, no education. You won’t even pass middle school exam.’

He is stating every single fact that the young blonde has thought about. But the fact that he is voicing it out loud makes it even more real, even worse. It sends another flicker of doubt through Yoongi’s mind and yet, he wants to, has to stand his ground. He deserves another chance. He deserves to be free and to know what it is to live a life without secrets, without darkness.

A life only filled with light.

‘You don’t need me.’ Yoongi’s voice is scratchy with emotion, raw from internal pain, ‘You have plenty of people under you.’

‘You’re my best agent.’

The young man struggles to take a breath. Exhales shakily, ‘I don’t want any part in this.’

‘And what made you think you’d be able to do something else?’ Chang says as he raised a brow.

‘I want to—‘ the breath catches in Yoongi’s throat, ‘I want to be a doctor.’

There’s a poignant silence. He practically hears how loudly his heart is pounding inside his chest and it doesn’t help that Chang is watching him with those squinted beady eyes of his with an undecipherable look on his face.

‘That sounds like suicide.’ Chang finally comments, leaning back to cross his arms over his chest.

‘It’s my suicide.’

‘Alright,’ Chang lets out a breath. He crosses his fingers together until they are a series of interlocking, fat sausages, ‘You’re not playing fair with me. I thought we had a good relationship.’

‘And we do,’ Yoongi gulps down the emotions that are slowly rattling his brain, ‘I’ve looked up to you for as long as I could remember, until I realized I couldn’t live like this anymore.’ He looks away towards the ground, decides that the cracks in the worn-out cement are much more interesting than facing Chang’s expression, ‘I can’t do this, Chang. I–’ he bites down onto his bottom lip, ‘I want a life.’

‘Fine then, let’s make a deal.’ Chang proposes before leaning forward, ‘I’ll let you off for two weeks. No money, no lodging. Nothing. Then I’ll give you a chance to reconsider.’

‘And if I stand by my initial choice?’

‘Then I’ll let you go.’ Chang says, ‘For good.’

Yoongi doesn’t know how it feels to be free.

Except that he’s never planned for it to feel like this.

As soon as he steps out of Chang’s door into the afternoon sun beating down on the back of his neck, it feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest, as though the chains buckled over his wrists and ankles had finally released him from his invisible cage. He feels as though he is floating up to the sky, as new as a turned-over leaf, as light as a feather.

The warmth brings him back to reality, makes him realize the hotness and the humidity sticking to his skin. The small hairs at the back of his neck tickle his nape. And he’s never felt better.

Extending a pale, frail hand out to the sun, the light stings the surface of his flesh as it dances up and down his arm in symphony with the leaves in the wind. And despite trying to hold it down and keep his cool, a small smile curls up at the corner of his lips, true and genuine.

He’s free.

For two weeks, at least.

‘You what?’

The blonde’s hands are wrapped around his glass, eyes focused on the liquid inside so as to avoid Danah’s incredulous gaze. She goes through a series of emotions, first started by shock, followed by surprise, to finish with a kind of flabbergasted response to the sudden news that he’s dropped onto her like a bomb. A good bomb, of course, but still a bomb nevertheless.

She doesn’t know what to say, what to do. So she starts with the easiest thing, which is, ‘Why?’

Yoongi’s shoulders lift up in a shrug, dropping them back down before something flashes through his eyes. It’s something she hasn’t seen before, something that looks a lot like nonchalance. Which isn’t really what he’s supposed to be like, even after having cut ties with someone who can actually kill with his eyes closed.

‘I realized that it was wrong.’ He murmurs, eyes sliding to the side in that typical way of his when he’s analyzing his surroundings, ‘I guess it was partly because of our conversation.’

‘What about it?’

‘I don’t know, Danah,’ he bites the inside of his cheek, ‘I just want to live.’

She eyes him with uncertainty, not quite sure how to take this all in. It’s one thing to say what he’s decided, and quite another when he explains the reason behind it. Her chest swells up with an unexplainable feeling, one which she can only describe as pride, or so she thinks it is.

She’s proud of him.

‘So you’re going to stop? No murders? No killing off people anymore?’ She wants to wince at her own choice of words, and from Yoongi’s expression, he is thinking along the same lines.

‘Yeah,’ he coughs uncomfortably, ‘that’s over. I’m starting anew. No killing, no running away.’

‘But—‘ her mind is struggling to put all the little pieces together, ‘—but what are you going to do?’

She’s actually happy that he’s decided to do such a thing, but now she’s only left with a flood of questions concerning his well-being. What will he do now that he has no job? No money? And— does he even have a place to live?

So she asks him bluntly, ‘do you have anywhere to stay?’

Yoongi gazes hard at her. A pause ensues before he shakes his head once. No.

And maybe it’s the growing sympathy towards someone who is trying so hard to make his life right. Maybe it’s the fact that he suddenly seems so small, sitting there and drowning in his oversized black hoodie and his head bowed like a child getting a scolding. Maybe it’s because Danah feels somehow responsible for his situation now that he’s done something for the better.

And like she’s told herself before, it would’ve never have happened if she hadn’t seen what he could do with his hands and a knife.

But there they are, now standing in front of Danah’s too-cramped, one-story flat that is shared with ten other tenants. Danah squeezes her eyes shut before scolding herself inwardly. She doesn’t know what came over her to ask such a bold question, and yet she does not have the heart to take it back, for she’s seen the sense of loss, the wandering aura following Yoongi’s nervous gaze flickering right and left. He looked tense even albeit the fact that he cut ties with the devil. It almost seemed as though he was regretting his decision.

And god forbid she’d let him actually believe that. No, Danah is adamant in showing him the good side of life. 
Call her crazy for lodging a murderer whose skills she’s had proof of, but there is something inside her – a hunch– telling her that Yoongi is not that bad at all. That like everyone else, he is a human being that needs to live.

And that maybe he’s misunderstood more than anyone.

‘I’m not sure about this,’ Yoongi voices out her worries, clearly not comfortable with the idea of sharing someone else’s house, let alone a girl’s at that.

His uncertainty sparks confidence, and Danah makes a grab onto his arm before pulling him inside, making sure to lock the door behind her.

It’s late, now past midnight when they’d trudged back, so she’s pretty certain that both siblings are already in bed and sound asleep. It would’ve been an issue, not only if Samuel had been up and about to recognize Yoongi as the lollipop man, but also if Lisa recognizes him as the murderer. Danah explains all that to the blonde man as they feel their way up the darkened staircase, only to be surprised when Yoongi speaks up with a sincerity she’s never heard before.

‘Sorry.’

She frowns in confusion, not that it matters as it is too dark to actually distinguish anything. But the raw apology bounces straight from one ear to the other, rendering her a sputtering mess of embarrassment which she hides by staying quiet and deciding that silence is the appropriate response.

There are a few groans and bumps until they reach Danah’s room. Being the older sibling has its perks, for she is the one who has the biggest, while the other two share a door between adjacent rooms. Danah waits until Yoongi slithers in before closing the door and turning the lock.

The light burns her eyes when she flicks it on, and as her gaze adjust to the messiness of her room, she realizes that the blonde young man is doing exactly the same, which is inspecting every single detail of her personal space.

Clearing , she tries not to cringe at the mess of clothes piled onto her desk chair, moving to her wardrobe before taking out a few of her oversized clothes that she thinks might fit him best. Finding him a towel in her bottom drawer, she instructs him where the bathroom and thankfully, her bedroom is directly connected to it, which avoids Yoongi from trailing in the corridor where he might be spotted by any midnight prowlers.

It is only when the sound of the shower hisses through the door that Danah’s breath leaves her in a huge exhale, practically breathing out all the tension she’s been balling up right between her lungs. Before she knows it, her legs give way, causing the girl to slide to the ground in a ball of mixed emotions. She thinks she’s crazy putting her family on the line just for a single individual. And he shouldn’t matter so much in the first place, shouldn’t be a priority in Danah’s life as long as she’s con